Summary: The journal shouldn’t have been there. She shouldn’t have seen it. But the words are inked, the confessions buried in scribbled margins. Unfinished. She turns the page. The door opens. And now, there’s no taking it back.
Word Count: 1.5k
“Okay, but hear me out—unicorns are terrifying.” You scoffed as you stirred the pasta, glancing over your shoulder at Jenna, who sat comfortably at your kitchen table, script in hand. “Unicorns?” you repeated, unimpressed. “You mean the glittery, rainbow kind?”
Jenna smirked, flipping a page. “No. Think The Thing meets The Last Unicorn—except instead of spreading magic and joy, it hunts people. Horns like spears, glowing red eyes, and it camouflages itself as a stuffed toy when it needs to hide.”
You paused, setting the wooden spoon down. “... Okay. I’m listening.” Jenna grinned, pushing the script aside to grab her water. “It’s an indie horror project. The director wants something totally absurd but terrifying.” “And they chose you?” you teased, arching a brow. Jenna took a slow sip of water, leveling you with a look. “Yes. Because I embody fear itself.”
You chuckled, shaking your head. “You embody five foot nothing and need a ladder to reach my top shelf.” She rolled her eyes but didn’t argue. Instead, she reached for her script again, flipping to a heavily annotated page.
“So, in this scene, the unicorn—”
Before she could continue, you realized you were missing ingredients. “Shit,” you muttered, glancing at the counter. “I forgot a few things for dinner. And we need drinks.” Jenna raised a brow. “You say that like we’re not just having pasta.” “I was gonna open a bottle of wine, if that’s alright with you, Ortega.” She smirked. “Ah. Fancy.”
You grabbed your jacket. “Bodega’s just a block away. Liquor store’s right after. Be back in fifteen.” Jenna waved a dismissive hand, already distracted by the script. “Bring me something good.”
You smirked. You had a plan for that.
Jenna spent two minutes flipping through her script, highlighting a line, trying to focus. But her eyes kept drifting back to the leather-bound journal sat just a few inches away, dark and worn, standing out against the otherwise neat surface of your kitchen table. It didn’t belong there.
And that’s what made it off. She ignored it. Then, as if possessed by something beyond her willpower, she reached for it. Just a peek.
She flipped past the first few pages—dates, random notes, the kind of scribbles people made when they were half-asleep. But then, a page caught her eye. And suddenly, breathing felt harder, and there it was. Her name. And below it, crossed-out lines, footnotes scrawled in the margins—like you had written and rewritten them too many times, unable to get them right.
Jenna’s lips parted slightly as she read. “She looks at the world like she’s memorizing it. Like every moment is something worth keeping.” A quiet exhale left her as her fingers traced the ink. The way she spoke. The way she carried herself. The way she laughed—not her polished, camera-ready chuckle, but the real one.
Below it, one line that wasn’t crossed out: “I love the way she exists.” Jenna blinked, pulse hammering. This wasn’t just writing. This was her. Her hands tightened around the journal, a war raging in her head. She should put it down. She should pretend she never saw it iInstead, she turned the page. And that’s when she saw the poem.
Short, unfinished, scribbled like you had tried to ignore it:
"If I were braver, I’d tell her."
"If I were braver, I’d say it plain."
"If I were braver—"
A key in the door.
Jenna’s head snapped up.
You stepped inside, a bag of groceries and a bouquet of flowers in one hand. Jenna barely noticed; your eyes flicked to the table, to the open journal in her hands, and in that moment—she saw the exact second you realized what had just happened.
A beat of silence. Then, softly— “…You read it.”
Jenna swallowed, gripping the pages a little tighter. She could lie. She could say it was an accident. She could pretend she hadn’t just read the one thing she had no business knowing, but instead, she lifted her gaze to yours. “…You wrote this for me.” And for the first time all night—
You didn’t have any words left.
Which was ironic, considering you had spent weeks—months— spilling them into that journal. Hiding them in half-sentences, crossing them out, leaving them unfinished like that would somehow make them less real. But now? Now Jenna was sitting at your kitchen table, holding your secrets in her hands.
You gripped the bag of groceries a little too tightly, your fingers flexing around the bouquet of flowers, still wrapped in plastic.
“I—”
You what? Didn’t mean for her to see? Weren’t ready? Meant to tell her after you worked up the courage with a glass of wine? None of that mattered now. Jenna’s eyes stayed locked on yours, dark and unreadable. “You wrote this for me,” she said again, softer this time. Like she was still processing it herself. Your throat went dry. “Jenna—” She glanced down at the open page. Her fingers ghosted over the words again, a quiet intensity settling in her features. “…How long?” she asked. You blinked. “What?” Jenna tilted the journal slightly. “How long have you felt like this?” Your stomach flipped.
“I—” You exhaled sharply, setting the groceries down before you dropped them. “Jenna, can we—can we not do this like this?” She didn’t move. Didn’t look away. And that’s when you realized: She wasn’t going to let you dodge this. Not now. Not after everything she just read.You swallowed, fingers flexing at your sides. “…A while.”
Jenna’s lips parted slightly, but she didn’t say anything.
So you kept going. “A long while...” A beat of silence stretched between you, thick with something you couldn’t name. Jenna closed the journal slowly, resting her hand on top of it. And then, she stood.Your breath caught.
She stepped around the table, each movement deliberate. By the time she was standing in front of you, you had completely forgotten how to breathe. Jenna tilted her head, studying you. You had seen this look before. On set, when she was locked into character. In interviews, when she was asked something she actually cared about. That sharp focus, that quiet intensity.Only now—Now, it was entirely on you.
“You were going to tell me tonight,” she murmured. It wasn’t a question. Your gaze flickered to the bouquet of flowers on the counter, then back to her. You gave a small, breathless laugh. “Yeah. I, uh… thought I’d have a little more control over the reveal, though.” Jenna’s lips twitched. “You should’ve hidden it better.” You huffed. “I didn’t think you’d go through my things, Ortega.” “I didn’t. It was just… there.” She hesitated, a quiet edge creeping into her voice. “Like it was meant to be found.” Your heart slammed against your ribs.
For a second, you didn’t know what to say. But then—Jenna took another step closer, and your brain completely short-circuited. Suddenly, she was standing right there, barely a breath between you, her gaze flickering from your eyes to your lips and back. And holy shit.“You’re freaking out,” she murmured, amusement creeping into her tone. “I am not—” You cleared your throat. “—freaking out.” Jenna smirked. “You’re standing completely still.” You blinked. “That’s called being normal, Jenna.” “No,” she said simply, eyes narrowing slightly. “That’s called being scared.” Your jaw clenched. “I’m not—”
Jenna reached up, gently tugging on the front of your shirt. Not pulling, not forcing. Just holding. And suddenly, the air shifted. Your pulse roared in your ears as her thumb brushed absently against the fabric, the warmth of her hand spreading through you like wildfire. “…You don’t have to be,” she said softly. Your breath hitched. And that was it. That was all it took for every single thought in your head to vanish.
Before you could talk yourself out of it, before your doubts could catch up to you, before anything else could get in the way—You leaned in. And finally—You kissed her. Soft. Slow. Tentative at first, but then—Jenna exhaled against your lips like she had been holding back just as much as you had, and then her hands were sliding up, one curling around the back of your neck, the other gripping your shirt just a little tighter.
And holy shit.
It was so much better than you had imagined. Your journal hadn’t been able to capture this. The way she sighed against your mouth, the way her lips moved like she had been waiting for this just as long as you had, the way her body fit so perfectly against yours like she had always belonged there. By the time you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless. Jenna’s eyes flickered open slowly, dazed but smug. “…So,” she murmured, voice lower than before.
You swallowed. “So?” She smirked. “Was that how you were going to end your confession?” You gave a breathless laugh, shaking your head. “Honestly? The journal kinda did that for me.”
Jenna hummed, pleased. “Good.”
Then, before you could say anything else, she grabbed the front of your shirt and pulled you in again. Honestly? This ending was way better.
What starts as an awkward festival encounter slowly turns into a series of quiet moments where Bakugo Katsuki finds himself unexpectedly drawn to the soft glow of your quirk—and the silence you begin to share.
The festival buzzed around you, vibrant and loud with laughter, smells of grilled food, and music spilling from stages and booths. You stood just outside the main pathway, fingers twisting in front of you, a slow ribbon of light floating above your knuckles -- your quirk leaking out in a small spiral of magic.
"I'll be right back!" Yaoyorozu smiled as she turned away from your side. "Oh—and do wait here! I just remembered something I have to go grab."
"Momo—wait, what—" you started, but she was already lost in the crowd.
A beat of silence.
And then —"Tch, you gotta be kidding me."
Your head snapped toward the voice. Bakugo Katsuki stood a few feet away, hands shoved deep in his pockets, eyes narrowing in recognition. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.
You felt your quirk twitch at your fingertips again — small particles of light forming as you looked up at him. "...hi."
He grunted, barely nodding. "Figures, those damn extras set this up, didn't they?"
You blinked, "Wait... they set this up?"
Bakugo rolled his eyes. "Dumbasses probably think it's funny. Dunce face said I 'should mope through the whole festival,' and next thing I know, Tape elbow's dragging me over here. Should've known they were pulling some bullshit."
You opened your mouth to respond but found nothing immediately worth saying. Another spiral of pale streaks of your quirk unfurled lazily from your fingers, flickering like soft neon smoke. It hovered briefly between you two before vanishing.
Bakugo eyed the drifting light, "That your quirk?"
You nodded, "It kind of... reacts when I get nervous."
He scoffed, "So, all the time?"
You stiffened lightly.
He raised a brow, "Not a dig, just sayin', you're always real twitchy."
You looked away, feeling heat creep up your neck. Another flicker trailed from your palm, this time turing into a geometric pattern in the air before you dismissed it with a flick.
"Thanks," you said, not quite sarcastic, not quite sincere.
Silence.
You stood beside a food stall, awkwardly shifting your weight from one foot to another. Bakugo glanced at you, then back at the crowd. His expression remained tight — not irritated exactly, but far from relaxed.
"Why'd you even come?" he asked finally.
You turned toward him, surpirsed he spoke. "The girls dragged me out, said I stay in my dorm too much."
"Huh," he muttered. "..same."
You blinked. "Really?"
"Tch, you think I wanna spend all day at this stupid festival?"
You snorted before you could stop yourself.
His eyes darted to you, but you weren't mocking him — you just smiled, small and genuine. "No, I guess not."
Another moment of silence. This time, it felt a little less suffocating.
Bakugo crossed his arms and looked at the night sky. "That quirk you got—what is it exactly?"
You titled your head. "It's...kind of like telekinesis? But also object conjuration, elemental manipulation, enchantments.."
"You've got too many damn options."
"Yeah," you laughed quietly. "It gets overwhelming. I focus better when I have specific tasks though. Otherwise, it...leaks in a way."
You raised a hand and, almost subconsciously, made a floating cube of soft light hover above your palm. It rotated slowly, pulsing faintly.
Bakugo squinted at it. "That all for show, or can it do something?"
You flicked your wrist and the cube zoomed into the air and exploded into dozens of harmless little stars. One landed in his hair before fading.
"Mostly for show," you admitted. "Unless I mean it."
He huffed. "Kinda flashy."
You shrugged, "I don't blow things up."
He snorted—sort of. "You'd probably be better at it than half the class."
You glanced at him, surprised again. "Was...that a compliment?"
"No," he said immediately.
But you noticed the faint twitch of his lips — just barely a smirk.
The crowd moved around you both, but you and Bakugo stayed stil. Occasionally you'd summon a small flicker of light or a shifting shimmer when the silence returned, and to your surprise, Bakugo didn't seem annoyed by it. He just watched, sometimes seeming a little curious.
You conjured a glowing orb and let it spin gently above your hand, watching the light reflect in his eyes.
Finally, the others started circling back. You could hear Mina's laughter bouncing over the crowd and Kaminari's voice shouting something about fried squid.
"Oh—hey!" Mina called as she jogged over. "Sorry! I hope we didn't leave you two alone for too long."
Bakugo shot her a glare. "You did this on purpose."
Sero slid in beside her, grinning like a devil, "Us? Nahhh."
You folded your arms but didn't look annoyed, "Wasn't so bad."
Mina leaned closer, glancing between the two of you. "Wait, did you guys actually talk?"
"Not really," Bakugo said at the same time you said "A little."
You blinked at each other.
Kirishima laughed, "Well, we got some progress!"
later
As the group moved to another section of the festival you lingered at the back. Bakugo fell in step beside you, hands still in his pockets, still scowling at anything and everything.
But as the crowd passed under a string of floating lanterns, you reached up and conjured a little orb of light — one that hovered above you both like a quiet star.
"...Don't tell anyone I didn't hate it," he muttered.
You smiled "Don't worry, I'll keep your reputation intact."
The bell rang, ending Hero Basic Training. Students funneled back into the 1-A classroom, drenched in sweat and still laughing over sparring matches.
You slipped in behind the crowd, towel draped over your shoulders, a subtle shimmer weaving around your fingers, small specks of your quirk hovering like soap bubbles with a faint glow. A nervous habit. You were still thinking about how badly you botched your redirect maneuver against Iida.
"Your momentum control sucks," came Bakugo's voice behind you.
You flinched.
He passed you, not even looking your way as he dropped into his seat in front of you.
"...thanks," you respond dryly, settling in your seat behind his.
He leaned back, and turned his head slightly as to see you in the corner of his eye, grabbing his water bottle. "Didn't say it to be nice. You're twitchy mid-air. Overthinking."
You raised a brow, "And you're suddenly a coach?"
"Figure if I have to watch you flail around, I might as well say something useful."
You blinked—then smiled a little. A small orb of light shimmering above your palm and pulsed gently before you popped it like a bubble.
During the ten-minute break between classes, most of the class was buzzing about something Mina and Kaminari were showing on their phones. You weren't paying attention—you were focused on a delicate construct you were conjuring just above your desk; a star-shaped lattice of magic that rotated gently mid-air.
It helped you think.
Bakugo walked by, carrying a notebook. He slowed as he passed your desk.
"That supposed to do something?" he muttered.
"It's just...for focus," you replied, eyes still on the structure.
He paused, then suddenly reached out and poked it.
The structure destabilized instantly. The whole thing fizzled with a pop and left a sprinkle of harmless sparkles in the air.
You stared at him, "Seriously?"
He raised a brow, unimpressed. "If it pops that easily, it wasn't worth much."
You tried to look annoyed, but he caught the faint upward twitch at the corner of your mouth.
He huffed and continued to his desk.
You conjured a new one—twice as stable—and this time, it hovered just ouf of his reach.
It rained that day. The lunch bell had rung, and most of the class had scattered. You stayed behind to clean your desk after a minor ink explosion courtesy of a floating pen you accidentally launched mid-fidget.
Bakugo hadn't gone to the cafeteria either. He was sitting at his desk, reading through his notes with the usual intensity like he wanted to incinerate the page with sheer willpower. The silence was oddly comfortable. You weren't talking, but you weren't alone.
Your quirk flared lightly as you conjured a tea cup out of thin air—not real porcelain, just magical glass made from focused light. It spun slowly, then faded before it touched the desk.
Bakugo didn't look up.
But after a while, he said, "You always do that when you're alone?"
You hesitated, "...not always. Just when it's quiet. Helps me not think so loud."
He didn't answer, but after a few minutes, he pulled out a protein bar and tossed it onto your desk.
"Eat. You missed lunch."
You stared at it, unsure how to respond. "You...didn't even ask if I wanted it."
"Didn't have to," he muttered, not looking at you.
Class was noisy. Too noisy. The AC had gone out, and everyone was cranky. You were sitting with your sleeves rolled up, forehead resting against your arm as you twirled a small silver thread of magic between your fingers—cooling spell, minor, but enough to give you some relief.
"Quit doing that. It's distracting."
You glanced over. Bakugo was beside you—his desk had been reassigned for the day thanks to some seating chart switch. He was frowning at your floating thread.
You sighed. "It helps. The heat is awful."
"Tch," he leaned back in his chair, reached into his bag, and tossed you a spare sports cooling towel. "You'll drain yourself over dumb shit."
You stared, "You carry two cooling towels?"
He looked away, "I sweat more than most of you extras. Obviously."
You blinked, then took it.
"Thanks," you said softly.
He clicked his tongue, "Just don't pass out. We've got training later."
Last class of the week. Everyone was drained. Even Bakugo looked tired, one leg bouncing under the desk as Present Mic rambled about communication tactics.
You sat quietly, sketching small spell diagrams in the corner of your notes, letting a trail of glittery sigils hover like lazy fireflies over the page. One floated toward Bakugo's desk. You moved to dispel it—but he didn't swat it away.
Instead, he watched it.
Let it hover.
Then finally looked at you.
You expected a glare, a snarl, maybe some snarky comment.
Instead, "You've got good control," he said.
You blinked, "I...thanks."
"You keep doing that and you'll be better than half these idiots before graduation."
You didn't know what to say.
So you just gave a small smile. A real one this time.
And when the final bell rang, he didn't rush out first like he usually did. He lingered—just long enough to walk out beside you.
[COMPLETED, 2nd person POV, Magneto x Female!Reader] As a void stabilizer, your purpose was defined by the heavy burden of holding the multiverse together. However, a single day can change the entire course of your detached existence. What begins as a high-stakes mission to save a tiny island on earth spirals into a devastatingly human awakening of your senses as you cross paths with the Master of Magnetism.
I AM GUILTY OF WRITING ANOTHER MAGNETO X READER FANFIC BECAUSE OF HIS LATEST MARVEL RIVALS SKIN 😩👏
Chapters: 20/20
Fandom: Marvel Rivals (Video Game), X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Max Eisenhardt/Reader, Erik Lehnsherr/Reader, Magneto/Reader
POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNINGS: light anxiety descriptions, alludes to PTSD
Spoilers: none?
Notes: ngl, i freaking adore writing this
As always, love and/or constructive/friendly criticism is welcome and encouraged!
Disclaimers: same as before
Word count: 1076
The 21st Precinct was buzzing as normal. And upstairs in Intelligence, the team was going back and forth on case theories, typing reports, and tossing the occasional teasing remark - the latter of which was about to increase tenfold.
Sergeant Platt came around the corner, stopping in her usual commanding way. “Halstead!”
Jay raised his brow, spinning in his chair to face her. “Yeah, Sergeant?”
“You have a visitor downstairs,” she said flatly. But to anyone who knew her enough, there was just a hint of curiosity and teasing in her tone.
And the sharks began to circle.
“Oooo, visitor?” Adam beamed, leaning forward in his chair.
Jay scoffed and rolled his eyes at him before turning back to Platt. “Who is it?”
She shrugged. “Don’t know. Sweet girl. Brought a dog with her,” she clipped, turning around and heading back towards the stairs. “Don’t make her wait!”
Erin gasped. “I bet it’s the shelter girl!”
“The one he saved last week?” Kevin questioned, his own brow raised now.
Jay shook his head and headed down the stairs, ignoring them all.
He reached the lobby and couldn’t stop the small smile that tugged at his lips at the sight - Y/n stood there holding a bag and coffee cup in one hand, and Atlas’s leash in the other, the dog standing against Y/n’s leg as he looked around at everyone that passed them by. Y/n looked up at seeing his movement and a shy smile made its way to her face.
“Hey,” she said as he stepped up to meet Jay halfway. “I uh, I hope this isn’t weird…me showing up here.”
Jay gave her a small, reassuring smile. “No, not weird,” he assured her. “Just…unexpected.”
Y/n smiled, glancing at the ground before back up at him. “Yeah, I figured…but anyway, I wanted to bring you lunch…as a thank-you for bringing Atlas back to me. Plus coffee that doesn’t taste like battery acid if your machine here is anything like the one at the shelter.”
Jay chuckled and gave a charming, full grin. “Well, you definitely get brownie points for that one,” he said, taking the cup from her hand. “But…you really didn’t have to.”
Y/n’s smile softened. “I know…but I wanted to. Plus, Atlas wanted to see his favorite detective again.”
Jay let out an actual laugh at that, sending warmth flooding Y/n’s chest. He knelt down to pet the dog at her side. “Well, how can I say ‘no’ to that?” Y/n smiled wider as she watched the interaction. Simple to anyone walking by, but to Y/n - it was special. “You taking care of her, bud?”
Y/n chuckled softly. “Trying his best. Figured bringing him here to see someone familiar would be a good step to getting him out into the world again.”
Jay nodded as he stood. “Makes sense.”
A small, comfortable silence passed between them before Y/n looked at the ground again. Meeting Jay’s eyes once more, she handed him the bag of food, trying to hide a blush when their hands brushed. “Well…I’ll let you get back to work.”
Jay couldn’t comprehend the spark of disappointment in his chest. He covered it with a small smile. “Thanks again, Y/n.”
She smiled back. “You’re welcome.” Y/n whistled to Atlas and walked him back outside into the midday Chicago air, Jay watching her the whole way.
Jay jogged back up the steps to Intelligence, coffee and food in his hands. The whole team watched with curious gazes as he went straight to his desk without acknowledging them.
Adam rested his elbows on his desk and head in his hands, grinning. “Wellllll?”
Jay didn’t even glance up. “Well what?”
“What is the shelter girl?” Erin almost squealed.
“Whoever it was got him coffee and lunch,” Kevin noted with a grin.
“Movin’ fast, man,” Antonio jumped in with a smirk.
Now Jay looked up, clocking each of his teammates then shook his head and went into the bag to pull food out. “You guys need better ways to pass your time,” he mumbled. He pulled out a wrapped sandwich and paused for a moment when he saw a piece of paper slipped into the wrap. He took it out and unfolded it. ‘My number’ was written neatly in the first line, a phone number under it, and the last line read, ‘So you don’t have to do a background check to find it ;)’
“LOOK AT THAT SMILE!”
Jay flinched at Adam’s shout across the bullpen, dropping the note to glare at him.
“Oh my g-d, Jay - your face is red!” Erin gasped.
Jay ran a hand over his face and moved his chair to hide his face behind his computer monitor so he didn’t have to suppress the full grin that came across his face.
The next day, Y/n was cleaning up the shelter before they had to lock up when her phone started buzzing in her pocket. She bit back a grin when she saw the name.
“Detective Halstead,” she answered, openly grinning. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
On the other end of the line, Jay allowed himself a smooth, reserved smile. “I was just calling to check and see how Atlas was doing,” he said casually, a smirk apparent in his voice.
Y/n grinned wider, playing along. “Atlas, huh? Well, Atlas is doing fine…he was actually just asking me if I knew how you were doing.”
A chuckle met her ears. “How kind of him…I’m good…Just thinking about how I want to see him actually.”
“Oh yeah? Well, I think he would like that, Detective,” Y/n said coyly.
“Are you free tomorrow? The two of you I mean,” Jay quickly ‘corrected’ himself.
Y/n giggled a bit. “Right, right. Well, lucky for you, we’re indeed both free tomorrow.”
Jay grinned. “Great. Does Atlas like the coffee shop down the road from the precinct?”
“He does, actually,” Y/n answered, her smile softening.
“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”
“See you.”
As Y/n hung up, she kept her phone in her hand with a faint smile still on her face. Her thoughts were interrupted by someone loudly clearing their throat. She jumped a bit and looked up to see her friend, F/n, arms crossed, eyebrows raised, and a smirk on her face.
“Nothing,” Y/n cleared her throat, getting back to sweeping.
I attempted to lunge toward the rope again, freeing my arm only for someone to seize me by my waist. Instinctively, I spun around and kneed him in the stomach. Before I could get far, Bellamy was there, grabbing my arm and pulling me close. His grip was firm, his eyes flashing with a silent warning: stay out of this. I met his glare with a defiant one of my own, struggling against his old. I opened my mouth to argue, but the sound was cut off by a small voice, shouting over the masses.
“Murphy didn’t kill Wells,” The crowd fell silent. I stopped struggling to look at the culprit. Charlotte’s voice trembled as she spoke, “I did.”
____
Alternatively: You and Bellamy grow closer during a crisis situation.
Hello! You have stumbled about a story with an overarching plot following one of the 100 that was sent to the ground. It will start in season one of the 100 and likely continue until I decide it's enough. It is a Bellamy Blake/Reader fanfic. The reader is female, sorry. I am basically just inserting myself into the fandom. Comments and constructive criticism are very much welcome! I don't proof-read.
the characters and the plotline of the show are not mine and belong to their respective owners. the story is mine, however, as is the character of 'the reader'. please do not publish this story elsewhere without asking for my permission.
Warnings: Sad Neteyam, Unrequited love, Mutual Pinning, Mentions of blood/bullets, Mentions of alcohol and consumption (Please be advised), Panic attacks.
Inspired by; Bad Habit by Steve Lacy
Summary: Neteyam and Y/n have been joined at the hip since they were children. Growing feelings for one another was inevitable due to their close proximity. But Neteyam always suppressed his feelings in fear of losing his friendship with her. But as they grow into adults he can’t help but wonder, had he missed his chance?
Word count: 5.9k
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“How did you find me?” Neteyam asks, his eyes strained forward. He didn’t bother turning to face her as she set herself down. Her feet mirrored his as she dangled them over the edge of the cliff.
Neteyam knew it was her, he didn’t have to look to confirm who it was. He knew the moment she softly landed her Ikran, the coo of the creature he knew by heart because that always signaled her arrival. Her scent wafted through the light breeze as the air caused his body to freeze up. It was a scent he memorized. Because it smelt like her, because it was her.
“Call it intuition?” She chuckles softly, the breeze picking up in the slightest. Her braided locks clacking against one another, the sound of the beads crashing caused Neteyam to quickly glance her way.
Y/n peered up into the sky, the stars mirrored amongst her e/c irises beautifully. Neteyam stopped himself from getting lost in them, which he caught himself doing often. It was weird considering she was his dearest friend, his oldest friend. He just couldn't help the fluttery feeling that consumed him whenever she was near. He didn't know when it started, but as he grew, so did his feelings.
Neteyam and Y/n grew up joined at the hip, even though she was younger by one year the girl never hesitated to follow Neteyam to his duties. Always marveling at how he slowly but surely became such a great warrior, outranking all in his age group. Neteyam also adored her, he respected how she tried to become a warrior herself. Even though she fell short many times, it never deterred her from her goal. That same goofy smile plastered on her face even when her body was littered with bruises.
Neteyam thought of her as a distraction at one point, but as they both grew up he realized how much he needed her support. Someone to talk to, someone to pour all his raw emotion on. And Y/n was always eager, her shoulders waiting for him to lean on as the days of stress pulled him down. It was as if she always knew how and what he was feeling.
“What did he do this time?” Y/n whispers softly.
Neteyam’s ears twitch to the sound of her voice, laced with concern and question. Neteyam had once again been on the receiving end of his fathers words. He was tasked to help Lo’ak with his tracking skills, but that skxawng decided to run mid session, almost getting eaten by a threatened mother Pululukan. Neteyam had barely made it in time to save Lo’ak as well as himself. The array of leaves covered in ointment scattered all over his body proved that it was indeed a close call.
“He almost got eaten by a mother Pululukan” he replies solemnly.
He catches the way Y/n’s eyes scrunch together at the mental image. Her brows furrowing together, her lips forming into a frown.
“Let me guess, you took the blame?” Y/n asks, more like declares.
She knew Neteyam like the back of her hand. Of course he took the blame from his brother, always has and always will. It’s just that each time he did, he never could recover the pieces that Jake tore apart upon each lecture. That’s where Y/n came in, always ready to piece him back together.
“You shouldn’t protect him all the time. He’s 15 Neteyam, he has to realize the stunts he pulls have consequences” Y/n says, her body turning to face him. Neteyam averts his eyes, not wanting her to catch his gaze that was already lingering on her.
“It’s my job, I’m the eldest son. If I don’t watch over my siblings, who will?” Neteyam replies back, refusing to look her in the eyes. Y/n sighs out in defeat. She knew how much Nteeyam loved and cared for his siblings, she felt the same way being the only child. That's why she stuck to the family like glue. As if they were a second family.
“Then who will have your back?” She asks, her voice laced with concern. Neteyam finds his lips twitching at her words. She never failed to surprise him with her caring nature. It was astonishing to the young warrior that someone like her, who was so kind and nurturing, was also a warrior. Someone that equaled his skills at times.
He turns around to face her, locking eyes. He felt his breath hitch at their close proximity, how her eyes shone under the moonlight with such allure. He felt like he was being sucked in, and he didn’t feel it within himself to deny the feeling.
“I was hoping you would” a smile twitches along his lips.
Y/n let’s out a giggle, her eyes filling with a twinkle which left Neteyam starstruck. Oh how beautiful she looked under the moonlight, it had to be a sin.
“I thought that was a given” she teases, playfully nudging her shoulder against his. The feeling sent a jolt of electricity through his body, causing a pleasurable shiver to run along his spine. It was moments like these that made him feel alive, that made him feel sane. So much stress has been put upon him since birth, all washing away with a mere smile.
“Just making sure” Neteyam easily replies back, opting to lean against her shoulder. Something they did often when they sought each other for comfort. Y/n hums happily, leaning her weight against his. She rests her head against him, breathing in the night sky.
“You are obligated to take care of your siblings Neteyam. That I respect. Just….take care of yourself too, ok?” Y/n suggests softly. Neteyam lets out a sigh, nodding his head, agreeing with her words. Seeming satisfied by his non verbal response Y/n smiles wide.
“And I’ll always be here for you Neteyam. I’ll never leave your side. You are my best friend after all” she teases her eyes locking onto the moon, oh how majestic it looked.
Neteyam thickly swallows the lump in his throat. At that moment the feeling of serenity left him. He enjoyed his moments with Y/n. Over the years it seems as though these particular moments held all his happiness. It felt great when he was naïve to his feelings.
At first he was confused as to what the quicken heartbeats meant when he would stare into her eyes. He questioned the butterflies in his stomach, and an unfamiliar fluttery feeling whenever she gazed at him.
It took him a while, but once he realized what he was feeling, it was already too late. The feeling had grown without his knowledge. What was once a simple crush grew to infatuation. He felt cursed, cursed to loving his friend who didn’t love him the same way. The unconditional love that seemed to grow year by year.
~~~~~~
“Shhh, don’t speak!” Kiri shushs, crouching down near the tent. The close call with the RDA left quite an impact with the Sully children and Y/n. After Y/n had decided to accompany Lo’ak and Spider on their adventure, all so she could keep a watchful eye on Tuk. They got caught by the RDA. Y/n desperately held Tuk within her grasp all while her tswin was harshly being held against her.
The moment Neteyam heard Y/n’s name over the com an unexplainable dread came over his form. They had his siblings, they had Y/n. What if he was late? What if he couldn’t save her in time? As he quickly showed his parents the quicker way he was determined to find her. He was determined to ensure her safety.
Neteyam didn’t have to think twice about going against his fathers orders and got involved right away. Because he knew, if it were the other way around, Y/n wouldn’t hesitate to disobey orders from her leader to save his siblings, himself included.
The relief that flooded Neteyam’s system was like waves after waves as he realized everyone was safe and unscathed. He pulled Y/n tightly against him, relishing in her heat as she shook under his hold. Sobs racking her body in full force. She was terrified by what had transpired and Neteyam felt useless being unable to console her.
As the siblings and Y/n eavesdrop on the parents' conversations, Neteyam keeps a firm grasp of Y/n’s hand. Ever since the incident Y/n has been desperately latching into him. Her fear is getting the best of her. Neteyam felt horrible for what she went through, but loved the feeling of her needing him, wanting to hold him.
“He had our children. He had them under his knife!” Jake hisses.
Y/n audibly gulps. Was he actually suggesting they leave? Flee the clan? Y/n felt her heart drop to her stomach with a sickening feeling. They would leave her, her second family would leave her here alone for their own safety. And Y/n couldn’t do anything about it. She wanted them safe more than anything, but the fear of them leaving caused her to choke up with unbridled sadness.
Feeling her eyes sting with tears Y/n pushes herself into Neteyam’s embrace. He was shocked at first but welcomed it. Would this be the last time he held her? Feel her pressed up against him like this? He would wake up every day not seeing her face? Neteyam’s throat closes up at the thought, letting Y/n nuzzle into the crevice of his neck. He wraps one hand around her for support as he bites lips furiously. He couldn’t cry, as much as he wanted to. He is a warrior after all. He had to stay strong.
“What about Y/n? She was protecting Tuk, they know she is close to the family. They will hunt her down Ma’Jake” Neytiri cries in fear.
Both Neteyam and Y/n freeze up at her words. Lo’ak and Kiri glance at the duo, horror stricken as well. It was true, Y/n tried her best to cover Tuk during the entire altercation. They didn’t bother inspecting her hands while they were focused on Lo’ak and Kiri. But her involvement meant they knew her. And where to find her.
“I’ll speak to her parents. It’s not safe for her here” Jake says, causing Y/n to gasp in shock. She covers her mouth before looking at each Sully. Confirming what she heard was true. He was suggesting she go with them.
Feeling an overwhelming amount of emotion Y/n abruptly stands up, before sprinting towards her tent. Neteyam moves to follow her but Kiri stops him midstep. Her expression of worry for her friend.
“Give her some space, brother”
~~~~~~~~~
“How did you find me?” Y/n asks softly, her back facing Neteyam as he took tentative steps towards her. He purposely made sure his steps were heard, he didn’t want to startle her after all they’ve been through the past few days. If he wanted to go unnoticed, he would have succeeded. He was very silent with his footing.
“Call is intuition?” Neteyam lightly teases, taking a seat beside her. His shoulders slide against her, feeling her body cold against him. Neteyam flinches upon contact. How long had she been out here?
“Eywa Y/n, you’re freezing. How long have you been out here?” He questions his eyes trained in her. She turns her head to face him, her puffy cheeks covered with the stains of her tears she had shed a while ago. She sighs out, shrugging her shoulders in response. Neteyam frowns, he felt sick to his stomach seeing her like this.
The past two days have been utter hell for him. After Jake declared the decision to the family he went on about how Tarsem would be the next Olo'eyktan. Not to mention when Jake left to relay the news to Y/n’s parents. They were upset at first but stressed for her future, they agreed that for her future she needed to flee. For her own safety. Y/n’s parents reluctantly agreed to the request, she would be unsafe the longer she stayed within the village. Ever since that, Y/n had been actively avoiding the Sully’s, Neteyam included.
Neteyam lost his birthright, and best friend all in one day.
He's been through a rollercoaster of emotion's and sadness the past few days, but he was able to come to terms with it. His family came first, if he were to lose his title for that, then so be it.
Neteyam also wanted to approach Y/n many times but respected his sister's wishes to give her space. By the fourth day he was fed up, he couldn’t stay away from her. He had to ensure she was ok, he also missed her terribly. Thus why he came all the way out here in search of her. He missed her terribly and couldn’t help but blame himself for everything that has happened.
“I’m sorry…” Neteyam whispers, his voice cracking under everything he felt. Y/n’s eyes snap to him, concerned glossing over irises in confusion.
“W-what? For?” She asks scooting closer to him. Neteyam clenched his hands into fists.
“For you getting involved….for forcing you to leave everything you’ve known, your family, your friends, for us..” he admits, head bowed down shamefully. Y/n lets out a shaky sigh, taking her small hands and using them to cup Neteyam’s cheeks. He allows her to lift his face up to meet her waiting eyes, all while still cupping his cheeks.
“Neteyam…..I was sad, the first day. But I’m at peace with it. I will not endanger our people, my family, just so I can stay here. I’m fine with coming along with your family. In fact, I’m grateful your family thought of me and my protection” Y/n says softly. Neteyam lets out the breath he was holding, his shoulders relaxing significantly. He felt a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders. He couldn’t explain how happy he was to hear this. She was ok with coming with him, she was at peace with it. How could he not feel happy?
“Then….why have you been avoiding us?….have I done something to upset you? Has someone else done something?” Neteyam asks, he tries to play it off as a regular question but it came out as a plea. His need for her seeping through his words. Y/n thickly swallows, as if his question caused her to choke up again. Neteyam sits up straighter, placing his hands over hers. Y/n clears her throat before taking a deep breath.
“I-it’s you…” she says, causing Neteyam to go slightly stiff.
“All your life you’ve been training to become an Olo'eyktan. You’ve worked so hard, proved yourself and gained so much respect amongst the people. I know, because I was always there to watch you from afar. Admiring your strength and vigor-“ Neteyam felt a sad smile twitch along his lips. She’s always been there, always watching him grow. Always seeing him.
“-once I heard Tarsem being announced as the next leader, it was as if a part of me shattered…..here I am, watching helplessly as my best friends dream slips through his fingers….all because I couldn’t try hard enough to keep Lo’ak from venturing out” Y/n croaks, tears streaming down her face.
Neteyam is quick to wipe the fresh tears away from her cold skin. The past few days Y/n had been beating herself over the fact that she may be the reason Neteyam had lost his birthright. What he dreamt of every day. In a way, his dream became apart of her dream as well, as she watched him grow.
Neteyam pulls her in for a hug, his heart soaring but his heart crumbling. “It’s not your fault. Please don’t blame yourself Syulang. Please” Neteyam begs, feeling Y/n shake that much harder under his hold, unable to hold back her cries of pain. After a while Y/n settles down, slightly pulling back to wipe her eyes.
“Neteyam, I-“
“Don’t you dare apologize” he interrupts her, swiping the streaks of tears along her cheeks. His gaze stern. Y/n seems to frown at his word but understands he didn’t want to speak of the matter any longer.
“I was sad,” Neteyam says, causing her ears to twitch with attention.
“I was sad that I’ve lost my goal, that I have to leave everything I’ve known growing up. I lost my title that I worked so hard for, but I can prove myself again. I know it. This isn't the end Y/n, but a new beginning…also a part of me is happy knowing I have my family to rely on….happy that I’ll have you” he admits, words that felt like stones to his heart because he knew Y/n wouldn’t interpret his words for what he actually wanted to say.
‘I love you, I need you with me’
“Oh Neteyam. I’ll follow you to the ends of Pandora. I’ll always be by your side.” She croaks, pulling him in for a tight embrace. Neteyam presses his head against her temple, inhaling her scent. A scent that always gave him comfort.
“I know, I’ll always be there for you Y/n. Always''
~~~~~~~~~
“Watch his head!!!” Lo’ak hisses, struggling to pick Neteyam up on the rocks. Tsireya steadies his legs, Y/n and Spider holding his side as they haul him over as gently as possible. Y/n winces at the sharp pain on her arm, her tears staining her cheeks. She helps set Neteyam down as he looks up at her, concern lacing his painful expression.
“Y-y/n” He whimpers out, seeing the distant look in her eye. That of fear.
After Neteyam and Lo’ak decided to find Spider deeper in the ship, they didn’t notice how Y/n snuck in after them. She stayed quiet making sure to stay a few feet behind them, her knife in the ready to assist them if needed.
A lot has happened over the past few months, the quick adaptation to the sea, the Metkayina clan not accepting them and dealing with the RDA once again was like hit after hit. Y/n had failed to keep Kiri safe when the Ikran snatched her away; she refused to allow Neteyam and Lo’ak to get hurt under her watch.
Her attention snaps back to Neteyam and Lo’ak jumping down taking on some of the human soldiers. Y/n doesn’t even hesitate jumping down to assist them while Neteyam and Lo’ak stare at her in shock. Seeing a soldier get up she grabs the gun off the floor, shooting the man shakily.
“Y/n! What are you doing here?” Neteyam demands, snatching the gun from her shaking hands. Y/n looks over at the three who stare at her in astonishment.
“I can’t let you do this alone. Now let’s get out of here!!” Y/n encourages her ears twitch at the sound of rapid footsteps nearing them. As they run away from many soldiers, Y/n sends Lo’ak and Spider to jump into the water safely while Neteyam fires the gun to distract the soldiers shooting their way.
“Go! Go!” Neteyam hollers, his eyes focused on the soldiers who refuse to give up.
“Not without you!” Y/n demands, her eyes widening, seeing the soldier come closer for a clearer shot. “Shit!” Y/n shoves Neteyam pulling him with her. She glances over her shoulder seeing the avatar directly point the barrel of his gun towards Neteyam. Towards his chest. Using her adrenaline to her advantage she shoves Neteyam into the water, tumbling after him.
The moment she crashed into the sea she heard the happy screams of Lo’ak and Spider as she desperately looked for Neteyam. She noticed the crimson in the water before she caught sight of Neteyam, holding onto his arm in pain.
“I’ve been s-shot” he struggles out. The three words Y/n never wanted to hear.
As she helped Tsireya pull Neteyam into the Iiu she was shocked to see the blood in the water increase. All of a sudden she feels a sting on her side, glancing down she is able to see a flesh wound, where the bullet had grazed her as well. It seemed as though colliding her body against Neteyam caused the bullet to gaze at her arm as well as his.
Y/n snaps her attention back to Neteyam as he regulates his breathing. Luckily the bullet hasn't penetrated his arm, but the gash was deep enough to cause a lot of blood. Neteyam was about to pass out from the blood loss. Y/n shakily puts pressure on his wound, drowning out the sounds around her.
Tsireya audibly gasps seeing blood pour out of Y/n’s arms. The girl was in shock, therefore not registering how everyone was around her, as well as her own injury. Her attention solely focused on the wound as she tried to stop the bleeding.
“Y/n!! Your arm!!” Lo’ak screams in hysterics, his father rushing towards them. Seeing Neteyam on the floor he clutches down, noting there was no wound on his chest, just his arm.
“Is there an exit wound?” He asks crouching down to his level. Neteyam groans back, glancing between his father and Y/n.
“N-no, it's just a graze….Y/n save m-me” Neteyam says through clenched teeth, pain cursing through the entirety of his arm. Jake looks at Y/n with relief but it disappeared upon seeing her own gash.
“S-she’s hurt dad, p-please” Neteyam whispers, seeing how Y/n’s eyes were glazed onto him, as if she were in a trance, in her own world. She didn’t register her pain or when Jake had instructed Tsireya to hold onto her wound to stop the bleeding.
“Y/n '' Neteyam calls again, causing her to break eye contact, resting on his face. Her initial shock wore off at the sound of his concerned tone.
“You’re hurt” Neteyam breathes out, feeling some relief flood into his system with her pressing tightly against the wound. Y/n shakes her head.
“You Skxawng you almost died. Don’t worry about me” she assured shakily, sending a tear sticker Tsireya a small smile. Neteyam coughs, his feeble attempt to laugh at her tone. She sounded like a mother bird, always stressing over everyone including him.
“T-thank you. For saving me”
Y/n smiles at his words, her eyes glossing with warmth. She felt panic rise deep within her at the sight of so much blood. But seeing him alert and responding proved that he was ok. He was alive.
“I told you I’ll always be there for you. I’ve got your back”
~~~~~~~~~
5 years.
It’s been five years since that fateful day. The day they won against the sky people, since the day Tonowari and Ronal accepted them as true Metkayina. One with the Reef.
Since then the Sully’s and Y/n have accomplished a lot. Lo’ak was finally recognized as a man, completing his Iknimaya. He was Metkayina now, able to prove Payakan as a hero as the people accepted him.
Neteyam also completed his Iknimaya. Claiming a Tulkun for himself as well as a Tsurak on his first try. He was known as a fierce warrior amongst the clan, Tonowari and Jake were greatly proud of his accomplishments. He had proven himself, and was seen as a mighty warrior. He finally felt like he gained what he once lost.
Kiri and Y/n also finished their Iknimaya with equal results, following Ronal and her teachings as Tsahik. And today, Tuk had finally completed hers. Thus the celebration that had been held for the majority of the day in celebration of her. Her feats at such a young age were being appreciated greatly.
Once the celebration had died down, the group decided to sit around a fire, taking sips of the celebratory alcohol to reminisce about the past.
“Do you remember when Payakan swallowed you whole? I was so scared that you were sent to Eywa!! If it weren't for Tsireya and Ao’nung then I would have had to throw hands with a Tulkun in your memory” Neteyam lets out a booming laugh, Tsireya cracking up next to her mate. Lo’ak rolls his eyes playfully at his brother's antics, nudging Tsireya who sat beside him, their hands clutching small cups of liquor.
Y/n laughed aloud at the memory, she sat perched on a large log beside Kiri and her mate Roxto. His hand held her against him as she laid her head on his shoulder. The alcohol evading her system.
“Oh yea? Who was it that fell face first into the sea right after they tamed their Tsurak?” Lo’ak taunts, Roxto snickering loudly at the memory. Neteyam frowns, drowning his drink in one go. Y/n giggles, her eyes crinkling with happiness.
“I have a better story, how about that time Lo’ak burst into tears when getting his first tattoo? I remember the big fat tears rolling down his eyes'' Y/n teases causing Lo’ak to scoff loudly. Tsireya giggles at the memory, how Lo’ak clutched her hand in a vise-like grip that left a bruise.
“Hey! Not fair, you’re defending Neteyam again!” Lo’ak accuses causing Y/n to send a playful wink across to Neteyam. Neteyam smiles, his heart thumping wildly against his chest. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol but Y/n looked absolutely breathtaking under the moonlight. Her hips grew fuller over the years, her bust also growing a few sizes, beautifully adorned with shells of the sea. Her hair had grew straight down to her waist, the tattoos running down from her arm all the down to her thighs. She looked stunning.
“Neteyam?” Tsireya calls his attention to her, his head snapping towards her. Embarrassed to have been caught gazing towards Y/n’s direction.
“Sorry, I blanked out for a second. The alcohol is strong. What was the topic?” He asks, glancing at Y/n who takes a tiny sip of the sweetly tangy drink.
“We were talking about crushes. Lo’ak said he didn’t like anyone but me-“ Tsireya furiously blushes as Lo’ak smirks wide. “-I admitted to a childish crush I had as a child that died down a long time ago. Before I met Lo’ak. Now it's your turn. Have you had any crushes?” She asks.
Neteyam feels hot under everyone’s watchful stare. He forced down the sick feeling in his stomach, as he forced his stare on the fire in front of him. He didn’t stare at Y/n across from him, the girl who had his heart for years. The love that seemed to always torture him, knowing he could never have her. How could he love her? Was he even worth her? These questions always kept his confession at bay after all these years.
He didn’t feel worthy of himself and he feared losing her altogether. He feared that if he spilled the longing he had for her, she’d run away and never turn back. Which is why he never even attempted to confess to her, painfully opting to watch from afar. Loving her from afar. It didn't hurt much since he grew accustomed to the pain, learning how to numb the burning jealousy and sadness within. He knew she didn't love him, that was the only thing that keep him sane.
There was no other female that ever held a candle to her, no other girl who took his breath away. No girl who caused his soul to smile with pure joy. There was no one that took up his heart the way she did, from the very young age of 13. It had always been her.
“Not really. Back home I was so busy with my duties I hardly had time to look for a potential mate let alone a crush. I did feel something once…… but it ended quickly. It also didn’t help that I had to stay vigilant and watch over my troublesome siblings” he states, earning a glare from both Kiri and Lo’ak. Neteyam was shocked at how easily he was able to lie through his teeth. He added a tiny bit of the truth in there to make his story believable.
Neteyam stifles a laugh, looking anywhere else but Y/n. He didn’t want his feelings to betray him, after many long years.
The group seems satisfied with his response as they move on to Roxto, then Kiri. Both admitting to never having feelings for anyone else until they met each other. How romantic.
Then, it landed on Y/n.
“So, did you have any childhood crushes??” Tsireya asks giddily, genuinely interested. Y/n giggles covering her mouth with her hand, her cheeks turning purple in embarrassment. Neteyam finds himself smiling at the gesture.
“I did, and it wasn't a childhood crush. It was serious until I realized I didn’t have a shot and I had to move on” Y/n starts, every eye on her. All equally invested.
Neteyam goes stiff. She liked someone? It wasn't a child-like crush, it was serious. Who was it? Had he turned her down? How didn't he notice? Neteyam is bombarded with these questions as he leans closer into the circle. Now fully invested.
“Who was it?” Roxto asks, sitting on the edge of his seat. Y/n chuckles, sending Neteyam a quick apologetic glance. Neteyam’s eyes furrow in question.
“It was Neteyam….”
Neteyam’s ears flatten against his head, his breathing comes to a halt at her words.
“I loved Neteyam for the longest time, ever since I was a little girl. I always followed him around” Y/n adds chucking at the memory fondly. Everyone shares smiles, wanting to hear more.
All while Neteyam sat frozen in time. She loved him? Ever since she began following him? ‘How could I have been so blind….w-we both l-loved each other?’ Neteyam felt stupid, he hated himself for not noticing. All that time thinking he wasn't good enough, all that time worrying he’d lose their friendship over a confession. All of the pain that came with watching her from a distance. All that pain. All of it could have been avoided.
“Did you know?” Lo’ak asks causally causing Neteyam to jolt up.
“N-no I n-neve-“
“I made sure he didn’t notice. I honestly never thought I had a chance which is why I decided to keep everything under wraps” Y/n quickly cuts in. In her eyes Neteyam looked disgruntled and slightly uncomfortable. When in reality he was beating himself up for being so foolish.
“How did you get over it?? When did you get over it?” Kiri asks, causing Roxto to nudge her. “You don’t have to answer if that makes you uncomfortable!” Kiri quickly adds,
“It’s fine, we're all adults here. And it was a while ago I guess…I took many years to get over him. But eventually I did and now I’ve finally moved on '' Y/n looks at Neteyam apologetically.
“I’m sorry Neteyam, this must be so uncomfortable. Hearing that your best friend once had a crush on you” Y/n says apologetically causing Neteyam to finally find his voice in the middle of his shock.
“No. It’s f-fine. If I knew I would hav-“ Neteyam whispers his feeling blubber inside of him. He felt he had to let her know, know that he felt the same. That he still feels the same. His feelings almost slip past his lips as Ao’nung walks towards the group with an annoyed sigh. Holding a tray filled with drinks accompanied with a gourd.
“Next time you guys want drinks, don’t order the future Olo'eyktan to grab them for you” Ao’nung grumbles, handing Tsireya the tray who passes it around. Neteyam mechanically accepts his glass, his eyes sorrowfully watching as Ao’nungs seats himself beside Y/n. Pulling her into an embrace.
Y/n stares up into his eyes lovingly as Ao’nung places a careful kiss on her cheek.
Neteyam feels sick to his stomach as he watches the mated pair cuddle against one another. His entire life he suppressed his feelings. Feelings he thought were forbidden. Dwellings he thought would harm his friendship with the girl he longed and dreamed about.
He painfully watched the last 4 years as Y/n and Ao’nung got closer together, eventually announcing their union before Ewya. Neteyam felt a part of him die that day, but he was okay and happy knowing she found someone she loved, after all, what he felt was unrequited, she didn't love him back. Therefore he never had a chance.
But now, all that self talk and self reassurance crumbled as Y/n had confessed she once loved him. For so long.
There was a perfect moment in time where they both mutually loved another.
‘Only if I wasn't a coward’ Neteyam cursed, his eyes stinging with the unshed tears as he watched Y/n nuzzle against Ao’nung. Her mate for life.
He missed his chance, long ago. But now he would have to live with the knowledge he lost her not because she didn’t leave him back. But because he was too much of a coward to fight for his love for her.
“Hey, are you ok?” Lo’ak whispers quietly, ignoring the chattering group. He made his way over to his brother who had been dead silent for a while. He catches the glossy look in his brother's eyes, how he watched Y/n from across the fire. A look filled with longing, sadness and regret.
Lo’ak felt his stomach lurch at the thought that Neteyam might be on the verge of crying.
“Neteyam?” He calls again, Neteyam finally turning to his brother. His eyes blown wide as he struggles to hold in his tears. Small gasps escaped his body that caused his body to shake. Lo’ak realizes the symptoms Neteyam was having, a start of a panic attack. He quickly pulls his brother up, letting him rest all his weight against his body. This catches the attention of the group as Y/n stands up, her face scrunched with worry.
“Nete-"
“It’s fine, he’s feeling sick. Told you guys he can’t hold his liquor” Lo’ak jokes teasingly. He tosses Tsireya a knowing look before excusing himself from the group. All the while having Y/n’s worried stare focus on the retreating boys.
As they walk a good few feet away Lo’ak glances at his brother's defeated face. The tears run along his cheeks freely as he tries to regulate his breathing. His face was in complete mourning, as if he had lost something of high value.
Lo’ak was able to put the pieces together, Why he had been acting differently. Why his brother always looked at Y/n as if she held the stars, in complete wonderment. And why he looked completely distraught hearing Y/n confess about her past feelings.
“It was her….you loved her didn’t you” Lo’ak states causing Neteyam to whimper out in pain.
“Yes” he gasps. He felt as though his world was crumbling around him.
“It has always been her”
Lo’ak felt his heart crumble, his brother, the mighty warrior looking defeated as the life in his eyes disappeared. It was as if he felt as though he had nothing else to live for.
Neteyam choked in another sob, unable to control himself any longer. He desperately wished he could go back in time. Tell his younger self to open his eyes. To take the step he couldn’t take.
He couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he was aware of her feelings back then. Would they have been mated? Would they be this stupidly in love? Would they begin to start a family Neteyam always dreamed about. Neteyam couldn’t help but wonder.
‘I wish I knew…..’ his vision became blurry with the endless tears. His sobs taking him full force, causing him to shake in Lo’ak’s arms.
A/N: Hi!!!! I hope you enjoyed, I was was in a angsty mood so I decided to finish this idea I had for a while. I'm not good at writing angst so this is my attempt! Let me know what you think! I love receiving input from you guys. Also, Thank you for 250 Followers!!!!! I'm so blessed!! I love you guysss!!!!
