SUMMARY: An FBI agent doesn't know when to shut his mouth. Cue Antonio stepping in to have your back.
WARNINGS: Sexual harassment, a few uses of Y/L/N.
W/C: 1.4k
"Three DOA, seven critically injured." You nodded along to the information you were hearing from the female officer on the scene. "Four in surgery at Med right now, three en route."
"Thank you," you said. "Keep us updated on any changes."
"Excuse me, sweetheart, can you point me towards one of the detectives working this scene?"
You turned to the voice, finding a tall man approaching you. He must have been addressing you, because there was nobody else around that he could have been talking to.
"Yeah," you said sharply. "I can. I'm a detective. Y/L/N, Intelligence."
"Oh," the man said, looking you up and down without any subtlety. His eyes lingered on the detective's badge hanging around your neck. "I didn't know Voight was taking on detectives based on their sex appeal."
Your jaw dropped, at a complete loss for how to respond. Fortunately, Antonio had been hovering nearby and heard the interaction. His blood boiled and when he saw the surprise written on your features, he was moving before he knew what possessed him.
"What did you just say?" he asked, appearing at your side but keeping his distance from the man. "What did you just say to her?"
You intercepted Antonio by throwing out your arm, keeping him at bay in case he lost his temper. It didn't happen often, but you knew that he had a very short fuse when it came to you. It rarely affected your ability to do your jobs, because Voight was strict on his relationship policy within your unit. When he found out that you and Antonio were seeing one another, he initially wasn't impressed, but after a few weeks went by and he realised that you weren't letting your emotional attachment affect your jobs (read: you chewed out Antonio for a bad call in front of everybody without hesitation), he let it slide.
"Who are you?" asked the man, raising his eyebrows at Antonio.
"Detective Dawson, Intelligence," he replied. "What did you just say to my partner? Go on, repeat it."
The man chuckled. "Partner, huh? And you trust her to have your back on cases?"
"More than anyone," Antonio replied. You still had an arm outstretched in front of him which he could easily push aside, but for the sake of professionalism, he held back.
"I guess you also like seeing her on her back, right? Probably without clothes?" the man said. "So, sex appeal and the fact that she's sleeping with her partner. No wonder she's made it to where she is."
"Excuse me?" you asked. "Who the hell even are you?"
"Special Agent Holmes, FBI," the man replied.
"Okay, well, cool," you said. "This case is with Intelligence, unless you don't trust my- What was it? My sex appeal?"
"Don't take it to heart, sweetheart-"
"I'm not your sweetheart."
"-But the fact that you need a guard dog to have your back is very telling about your position in this unit," Holmes continued, either oblivious to the way both you and Antonio were getting more frustrated or enjoying it. "Very convenient."
"Man, I'm giving you one chance to take back what you just said," Antonio warned.
He was bristling beside you and it was very clear that this situation could escalate if you didn't diffuse it somehow. Antonio didn't play when it came to you.
"I'm merely observing." Holmes shrugged. "Bet she thinks they're gonna pass this off as gang related, huh?"
"Seems logical," you said. "Since that's clearly what happened. Five of our victims were running in the same circle. It's either retaliation for something or a gang hit gone sideways."
"It must be nice being so naive," said Holmes, chuckling. "And smokin' hot, too." He glanced at Antonio, sleazy smirk on his face. "Bet she's good in the sack, right? Body like that-"
"Antonio!" you cried, unable to stop him as he shoved past your arm and lunged at Holmes. Turning with one hand still gripping Antonio's sleeve, you scanned the scene for anybody to help and yelled, "Ruz!"
Adam turned and saw what was happening. He ran towards you, grabbing one of Antonio's arms as you held the other and pulled him backwards. Putting a considerable distance between the three of you and Holmes, you turned and pointed at him as he simply stood there with a smug look on his face.
"What the hell is your problem?" you asked.
"You should keep your lapdog on a tighter leash," Holmes said, eyeing Antonio.
"Hey, man, this is a closed scene," Adam said. "You need to leave."
"I'm looking for Hank Voight," Holmes said. "Instead I found his attack dog and his little bitch."
Adam released Antonio and raised his hands. "You're on your own, man."
Antonio lunged and his arm slipped from your grasp, but you didn't attempt to stop him this time. Adam held out a hand to keep you back as Antonio landed a solid punch to Holmes's jaw and knocked the man sideways.
"Talk about her like that again-"
"Hey, what the hell is going on over here?" Voight asked, finally appearing. "I've got multiple victims and I hear Halstead saying you three are fighting?" Antonio shook out his fist as Voight said, "What's going on? Dawson? Ruzek? Y/L/N?"
"This piece of crap is harassing Y/L/N," Adam said, pointing at Holmes.
"Is that right?" Voight asked, looking to you for confirmation.
"I believe he said I was only hired based on my sex appeal," you said, folding your arms. "And, in our defence, we did try and rein Dawson in."
Voight turned back to Holmes. "It's time for you to go, pal."
Holmes glared at you, stood between Antonio and Adam. He scoffed. "If you get bored of him, give me a call. I'm sure I can find a spot for you in my team. For the right price, of course."
He tossed a business care at you that fluttered to the ground when you made no effort to catch it. Jaw slack in disbelief, you felt Antonio and Adam stiffen on either side of you, shoulders tensing as they braced for another altercation.
"You must have some serious nerve to say something like that in front of me," Voight said. He grabbed Holmes by the arm and hauled him away, calling back to the three of you. "Get back to work, you three."
When they were gone, Antonio turned to you. "Are you okay?"
You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak as you felt the lump well up in your throat. A simple hum of confirmation would have to suffice, but even that came out choked. Antonio sighed, pulling you into a hug and letting you hide your face against his chest for a minute to compose yourself.
"Hey, it's alright," Antonio said softly. "That guy was a jackass."
"Honestly, if Antonio hadn't socked him, I was ready," Adam said. "Don't listen to him, though. You're a credit to this unit." He squeezed your shoulder affectionately. "And you're my favourite person on the team."
"Don't tell Burgess that," you muttered.
"Ah, she knows she's my number one girl," Adam said.
You smiled, but then sighed. "I hate guys like him."
"I'll hit him again," Antonio said.
"Not if Voight does it first," Adam said, watching as Voight grabbed Holmes by the back of the neck and dragged him closer. Whatever he muttered in the man's ear must have had the desired effect, because when Voight shoved him away, Holmes left the scene and didn't look back.
Adam disappeared as Voight returned to you and Antonio, his expression softening when he watched you pull away from his embrace. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Sarge," you replied. "Just another day, right?"
"No, not right," Voight said. "If something like that happens again, I want you to come to me. You don't deserve that sort of treatment." He pointed at Antonio. "Just this once, I'll let it go, but don't make a habit out of this."
You both nodded and Antonio said, "Thanks, Sarge."
"You should get back to work," Voight said. "We're in the middle of a case."
"Yes, boss," you replied.
Antonio threw his arm around your shoulders, pulled you close and kissed your temple before the two of you headed back towards the crime scene to continue your investigation.
"You know I've always got your back, right?" Antonio said.
"I know," you replied. "Why'd you think I let you hit him?"
If you love heavy angst where the guy genuinely messes up but spends the rest of his life doing the work to fix it, this one is for you.
When Gabby Dawson decides to maliciously sabotage her brother's 6-year relationship by weaponizing Sylvie Brett, she successfully shatters the reader. What follows is absolute chaos in the unit, a permanent family estrangement, and a long, painful road of penance for Antonio. From partner switches and icing him out, to him taking a bullet to protect you, this is a long, drawn-out journey of earning forgiveness.
Contains: High drama, flashbacks, soft domestic family moments with his kids, and plenty of explicit, emotional smut (reconciliation heat, wedding night, and pregnancy).
PART I: THE FOUNDATION
The First Meeting: 2018
The rain in Chicago didn’t just fall; it heavy-poured, slicking the pavement outside the 21st Precinct and turning the neon signs of the nearby diners into blurry smudges of red and blue. You were standing in the lobby, uniform damp, holding a box of personal files after transferring from the 019th District.
Antonio Dawson walked through the double doors, shaking out a wet jacket. He stopped when he saw you. He had those intense, warm brown eyes that seemed to look right through the standard-issue bravado most cops wore like armor.
"You must be the new transfer," he said, his voice a low, grounding rumble against the chaos of the shifting shifts. He extended a hand. "Antonio Dawson."
"Yeah," you replied, taking his hand. His grip was firm, calloused, and surprisingly warm. "Ready to see if the rumors about Intelligence are true."
He flashed a soft, knowing smirk. "They’re true. But don't worry. I've got your back."
That night, it wasn’t an official partnership yet, but as you looked at him, you felt a sudden, inexplicable shift in the gravity of the room.
The First Day as Partners: 2020
Two years of proving yourself in the trenches of tactical led to the moment Hank Voight called you up to the cage. Inside the bustling tech-heavy room of the Intelligence Unit, Voight didn't waste words.
"Dawson, you’re paired up with them. Keep each other alive."
Antonio looked over at you from his desk, a slow, genuine smile spreading across his face. He walked over, leaning against the edge of your new desk. "Looks like you're stuck with me now."
"I think I can handle it, Dawson," you teased, clicking your badge into place on your belt.
"We do things a certain way up here," he murmured, leaning in just enough so only you could hear. "But honesty? That's what keeps us breathing. I trust you."
"Right back at you."
The Shift: Six Years Ago
It happened after a brutal, forty-eight-hour stakeout on a high-profile cartel case. The adrenaline had faded, leaving a hollow, aching exhaustion. Antonio had driven you back to his apartment to debrief and decompress over takeout containers that sat cold and forgotten on the coffee table.
You were sitting on his couch, staring at the floor, the weight of the job pressing down on your shoulders. Without a word, Antonio sat down beside you. He reached out, his thumb gently wiping away a stray tear you hadn't realized had fallen.
"Hey," he whispered. "We got 'em. You're safe."
When you looked up, the air between you turned thick, electric. The unspoken tension that had brewed through months of late-night drives and shared glances finally snapped. Antonio didn't hesitate; he cupped your jaw and pulled you into a kiss that tasted of desperation, relief, and a deep, simmering hunger.
His hands were frantic yet reverent as he pulled you onto his lap, his lips moving down your jawline, breathing your name like a prayer. That night, the lines blurred permanently. You became partners in the dark, in the quiet spaces where the badge didn't matter—only the heat of his skin against yours.
Meeting the Family
Everyone in Intelligence found out within six months. Voight had simply looked at the two of you during a morning briefing, growled, "Keep it outside the cage," and never brought it up again. Ruzek, Atwater, and Burgess cheered.
The real test came when Antonio introduced you to his kids, Eva and Diego. To your immense relief, his ex-wife, Laura, was surprisingly graceful about it. She saw how happy you made him, and more importantly, how fiercely protective you were of her children. Within a year, you were helping Diego with baseball practice and taking Eva shopping. You were a fixture at their Sunday dinners.
Except for one person.
Gabriela Dawson.
Every time Gabby was around, the atmosphere turned toxic. At a family barbecue, while Antonio was inside grabbing drinks, Gabby cornered you by the grill.
"You think you're permanent," Gabby hissed, her eyes flashing with a territorial bitterness. "But you're just the flavor of the month. Antonio belongs with someone who actually understands what family means. Not a stray he picked up at the precinct."
"Gabby, I love your brother, and I'm not going anywhere," you said calmly, refusing to back down.
She walked away, a dangerous, calculating look settling onto her face. She couldn't stand that someone else held the primary spot in her brother's life. And she was going to fix it.
PART II: THE BETRAYAL
The Plot
Gabby’s resentment festered until it turned malicious. She knew Antonio was stressed; a recent case involving a child had left him sleepless and emotionally raw. She also knew Sylvie Brett, a paramedic at Firehouse 51, had a lingering, unrequited crush on Antonio.
Gabby invited Brett out for drinks at a quiet bar far from Molly's, seeding the ground.
"Antonio and them are practically over, Sylvie," Gabby lied smoothly, swirling her drink. "They're fighting constantly. Honestly, he’s miserable. He needs someone sweet, someone like you, to remind him what a real relationship feels like. Go to his place tonight. He’s alone. He just needs a push."
Brett hesitated, her conscience pricking her. "But they've been together for six years, Gabby... everyone knows they're partners."
"In the office, maybe. But at home? It's dead," Gabby urged, squeezing Brett's hand. "Trust me. I'm his sister. I know what he wants."
Brett swallowed hard, letting her desire outweigh her morality. She nodded.
The Trap
It was a Friday night. You had stayed late at the precinct to finish paperwork, telling Antonio to go home and get some sleep. You planned to surprise him afterward with his favorite takeout.
Meanwhile, Antonio sat on his couch, exhausted, a glass of bourbon in his hand. When the knock came, he expected it to be you. Instead, he opened the door to find Sylvie Brett standing there, wearing a form-fitting dress, holding a bottle of whiskey.
"Gabby said you were having a rough night," Brett said softly, sliding past him into the apartment.
Antonio’s judgment was clouded by sheer fatigue and the alcohol burning in his veins. "Yeah. It's been a hell of a week."
Brett didn't waste time. She poured him another drink, sitting close to him on the sofa, listening to him talk about the case. But as the minutes ticked by, she began to lean into his space. "You deserve to relax, Antonio. You take care of everyone else... let someone take care of you."
Before he could process it, Brett leaned in and kissed him.
Antonio’s instincts should have kicked in, but the alcohol, the exhaustion, and a sudden, reckless urge to numb the pain took over. He didn't push her away. Instead, he groaned, slamming his glass onto the table and pulling her into his lap.
By the time you unlocked the front door of the apartment, holding a bag of food, the living room was empty, but the sound of heavy breathing and low, guttural moans echoed down the hallway from his bedroom.
Your heart seized. You dropped the keys on the counter, the metal clinking softly, ignored by the two people in the back room. Walking down the hall in a trance of growing horror, you pushed the half-open bedroom door wider.
The sight broke you instantly.
Antonio was stripped bare, his muscular back slick with sweat under the dim amber glow of the bedside lamp. He was on his knees, his hands gripping Sylvie Brett’s hips tightly, pinning her to the mattress. Brett’s legs were wrapped high around his waist, her back arching off the sheets as he drove into her with a heavy, rhythmic force.
"Ah... Antonio, right there," Brett whimpered, her fingers clawing at his shoulders, her hair sprawled wildly across his pillows.
Antonio let out a deep, low growl, his teeth gritting as he shifted his angle, driving harder, deeper, completely lost in the primal haze of the act. His hands slid under her thighs, lifting her up to meet each heavy, bruising thrust. The wet, slapping sound of their skin colliding filled the room, a grotesque symphony that shattered your six years of devotion in a single heartbeat.
"Please... more," Brett gasped, her chest heaving as Antonio accelerated, his breath coming in ragged, harsh pants, his chest pressing down against hers as he prepared to release.
"Antonio," you whispered. Your voice wasn't loud, but it cut through the room like a gunshot.
Antonio froze instantly. His body went rigid, the primal heat evaporating in an instant, replaced by a cold, paralyzing dread. He pulled out of her abruptly, a sickening sound echoing in the silence as he scrambled backward off the bed, grabbing a discarded pair of jeans to cover himself.
"Baby—oh my god, no," Antonio stammered, his face turning ghostly pale, sweat dripping down his nose. "It's not—I didn't—"
Brett scrambled to pull the sheets over her chest, looking up at you with wide, guilty eyes, but offering no apology.
You looked at Antonio, the man you had bled for, loved for six years, and shared a life with. You didn't yell. You didn't scream. A single tear rolled down your cheek, followed by a cold, empty numbness.
"Six years," you said, your voice dead.
You turned on your heel and walked out, slamming the front door behind you.
PART III: THE FALLOUT
The Explosion in Intelligence
The next morning, the 21st Precinct was an absolute powder keg. You had called in sick, but the news of what happened had already leaked. Jay Halstead had seen you running out of Antonio's building the night before, and a few pointed questions to a defensive, guilty-looking Brett at Firehouse 51 had blown the cover off the whole thing.
When Antonio walked into the Intelligence bullpen, the air went dead cold.
Kevin Atwater stood up from his desk first, his massive frame towering over the room. "Tell me it ain't true, Dawson. Tell me you didn't do that to them."
Antonio kept his head down, walking toward his desk. "Keep out of it, Kevin."
"Keep out of it?!" Adam Ruzek slammed his hand on his desk, standing up so fast his chair flipped backward. "Are you out of your mind?! Six years, Antonio! They had your back through everything! You brought them around your kids! And you screw a paramedic behind their back?!"
"Shut up, Adam!" Antonio snapped, his own guilt turning into aggressive defense.
"Make me!" Ruzek lunged across the floor, but Atwater caught him by the chest, holding him back as Ruzek yelled, "You're a piece of garbage, Dawson! A hypocrite!"
"Enough!"
Hank Voight stepped out of his office, his eyes slitted like a snake's. The entire room went silent. Voight walked down the steps, stopping inches from Antonio.
"In my office. Now," Voight ordered in a low, dangerous gravel.
Inside the office, Voight didn't sit down. He leaned against his desk, staring Antonio down. "You broke the one rule that matters, Antonio. You brought your messy personal life into my unit, and you destroyed the finest partner you ever had. They aren't coming back to work with you. In fact, they can barely look at your name on the duty roster."
"Hank, I made a mistake, I was drunk—"
"I don't give a damn about your excuses!" Voight growled. "As of right now, you are uncoupled. You're solo until further notice. I'm pairing them with Halstead. You don't speak to them, you don't look at them, and you don't go near them unless it's a direct order from me to save a life. You understand?"
Antonio swallowed the lump of glass in his throat. "Yeah."
The War at Firehouse 51 and the Family
The fallout didn't stop at the precinct. When Kelly Severide and Chief Boden found out what Brett and Gabby had done, the mood at Firehouse 51 turned hostile.
Christopher Herrmann cornered Brett in the common room. "I thought you had morals, Sylvie. Doing that to a cop? To one of our own family's partners? It’s disgraceful."
Brett burst into tears and ran out, but she found no sympathy.
The real destruction happened at the Dawson family dinner that Sunday, which Antonio was forced to attend after his ex-wife, Laura, found out. Laura refused to let the kids see him until he sorted his life out.
Antonio walked into his parents' house to find Gabby sitting at the table, looking smug.
"Are you happy?!" Antonio roared, slamming the door behind him. "You set this up! You told Brett to come over! You ruined my life, Gabby!"
Gabby stood up, defensive. "I saved you, Antonio! They were taking you away from us! They weren't right for you—"
"Shut up!" Antonio yelled, tears finally spilling from his eyes. "I loved them! We were going to get married, Gabby! I was going to buy a ring next week! And you destroyed it because you're selfish!"
For the first time, Gabby looked horrified, realizing the depth of the damage she had caused. But it was too late. Antonio stormed out, leaving his family fractured in his wake.
PART IV: THE PENANCE
The Tension at Work
Three weeks passed. You returned to work, but the light in your eyes was gone. You were paired with Jay Halstead, and the two of you worked seamlessly, but the silence in the bullpen whenever Antonio entered was deafening.
You completely iced him out. When he handed you a file, you took it without making eye contact. When he spoke during a briefing, you looked at the chalkboard. It was a living nightmare for him—being a ghost to the person who used to be his home.
One evening, after everyone had left, Antonio trapped you by the breakroom door.
"Please," he rasped, looking disheveled, bagginess heavy under his eyes. He hadn't slept in weeks. "Just give me five minutes. Please. I am dying here."
You stopped, keeping your distance, your arms crossed tightly over your chest. Your eyes were cold, reflecting none of the warmth you used to give him.
"You have two minutes, Detective Dawson," you said, your voice clipped and professional.
"It was Gabby," he whispered, his voice cracking. "She set it up, she lied to Brett, she—but that doesn't excuse me. I was tired, I was drunk, and I made the biggest mistake of my life. I didn't love her. I don't love her. I love *you*. I’ve loved you for six years. Please, don't throw us away."
You let out a dry, humorless chuckle that cut him deeper than any blade.
"You think this is just about a mistake, Antonio? You think I can just forget walking into your room and seeing you inside another woman? Seeing your hands on her? The same hands that held me?" Your voice finally trembled, showing the raw bleeding wound beneath your stoic exterior. "You broke me. You broke *us*. And the fact that your sister helped pull the trigger just means your whole family is dead to me now."
"Don't say that," he choked out, reaching for your hand.
You pulled away as if his skin were acid. "Do not touch me. You want to earn something back? Start by being a good cop. Because right now, as a man, you don't exist to me."
You walked past him, leaving him alone in the dark breakroom, weeping silently into his hands.
The Long Road Back
Antonio didn't give up. He knew he didn't deserve your forgiveness immediately, maybe not even in this lifetime, but he was going to die trying.
He started by cutting Gabby off completely, refusing to speak to her or attend any family functions where she was present. He went to therapy to deal with the trauma and stress that had led to his lapse in judgment.
Every single day at work, he showed up early and left late. He left your favorite coffee on your desk before you arrived, never staying to take credit for it. When you were on raids, he positioned himself as your unofficial shield, always watching your back from afar, ensuring that even if you hated him, you would always come home safe.
Months rolled by. The pain didn't disappear, but the sharp, jagged edges of it slowly began to wear down into a dull ache.
One night, a heavy thunderstorm hit Chicago, mirroring the night you had first met eight years prior. You were walking to your car in the precinct parking lot when a group of retaliatory gang members, looking for revenge against Intelligence, ambushed you.
A shot rang out, shattering your driver's side window. You dove for cover, drawing your weapon, but you were pinned down by heavy fire.
Out of nowhere, an SUV slammed into the shooters' vehicle, cutting off their line of sight. Antonio jumped out of the driver's seat, his gun barking as he laid down suppressive fire, completely exposing himself to protect you.
"Get down!" he screamed, taking a round to his shoulder but refusing to stop firing until the shooters sped off into the night.
He fell to his knees, clutching his bleeding shoulder. You ran to him, your cop instincts taking over as you pressed your hands against his wound to stop the bleeding.
"Antonio! Stay with me, look at me!" you yelled over the pouring rain.
He looked up at you, his pale lips curving into a weak, bloody smile as the rain washed over his face. "I told you... eight years ago... I’ve got your back. Always."
As the sirens wailed in the distance, you looked into his eyes and saw the raw, unfiltered truth of his remorse. He had bled for you, changed his life for you, and spent months in purgatory just to prove his worth.
You didn't forgive him completely that night. The scar was still there, deep and permanent. But as you held him in the rain, waiting for the ambulance, you knew the wall between you had finally begun to crack. He had worked for it. And for the first time in a year, there was a faint, fragile hope that maybe, just maybe, you could start to rebuild the pieces of what was broken.
The ambulance ride to Chicago Med was a blur of flashing red lights and the sharp, sterile smell of rubbing alcohol. You sat on the bench, your hands coated in Antonio’s blood, watching the paramedics work on his shoulder. He kept his eyes locked on yours the entire time, his grip on your hand surprisingly tight despite the color draining from his face.
Every time the vehicle hit a bump, a low groan escaped his lips, but he didn't look away from you. He couldn't. It was as if he believed that if he closed his eyes, you’d vanish into the Chicago rain again.
"I'm fine," he muttered, his voice raspy as they wheeled him through the emergency room doors. "Just... don't leave."
"I'm right here," you said, your voice steadier than your racing heart.
The doctor forced you to wait in the hallway while they prepped him for surgery to remove the bullet. Within twenty minutes, the waiting room began to fill. Voight arrived first, his leather jacket dripping wet, followed closely by Halstead and Upton.
"What happened?" Voight growled, though his eyes scanned you up and down to check for injuries.
"Ambush," you replied, staring at your blood-stained palms. "They were waiting for me. Antonio... he blocked the line of fire with his truck. He took the round meant for me."
Jay put a hand on your shoulder. "He's going to be okay. Dawson's too stubborn to die."
Before you could answer, the double doors of the ER burst open. Gabby hurried in, her face pale, with Brett trailing a few steps behind her.
"Where is he? Where’s my brother?" Gabby demanded, her eyes immediately finding you. She took a step forward, her voice rising in a defensive screech. "What did you do? This is your fault! If you hadn't been freezing him out, he wouldn't have been—"
"Gabby, shut your mouth," Voight intercepted her, his voice dropping into a register that made even the hospital staff freeze. He stepped directly into her path. "You are completely out of line. Your brother is in that room because he did his job. If I hear you say one more word to them, I will have the uniform outside arrest you for obstructing an active investigation."
Gabby opened her mouth to argue, but Brett caught her arm, shaking her head. Brett looked at you, her eyes filled with a deep, crushing guilt. She hadn't spoken a word to you since that night, and under your cold, unblinking glare, she shrank back, pulling Gabby toward the opposite side of the waiting room.
You didn't care about them. For the first time in a year, the anger that had fueled your survival was eclipsed by a terrifying realization: you had almost lost him before you could ever figure out what "us" meant again.
The Recovery
Two days later, Antonio was moved to a private recovery room. The bullet had missed the bone but torn through the muscle; he was heavily medicated, his shoulder wrapped in thick layers of gauze.
You walked in during the quiet hours of the evening, after the rest of the unit had visited and left. The room was dark, save for the soft glow of the monitor and the city lights cutting through the blinds.
Antonio stirred as the door clicked shut. When he saw you, he tried to sit up, wincing as the movement pulled at his stitches.
"Don't move," you said softly, walking over to the side of his bed.
"You stayed," he whispered, his voice thick with sleep and painkillers.
"You took a bullet for me, Antonio. The least I can do is make sure you don't tear your stitches out." You sat down in the vinyl chair beside the mattress. The silence between you wasn't the freezing, heavy silence of the bullpen anymore. It was quiet, tentative.
"I'd take ten more," he said, looking at you with total sincerity. "I mean it. If it keeps you breathing, I'd take every round they have."
You looked down at your lap, tracing the hem of your jacket. "It shouldn't have come to that for me to talk to you."
"You had every right to never look at me again," Antonio countered softly. He reached out with his uninjured arm, his palm up, waiting on the bedsheet. An open invitation. "But I need you to know... I haven't looked at another woman since that night. I haven't thought about anyone else. I went to the precinct shrink, I cut off Gabby, I’ve been trying to clear out the garbage in my life so I can be the man you actually deserve. Even if that man is just your coworker."
You looked at his hand. Slowly, deliberately, you slid your fingers into his. His grip closed around yours instantly, warm and grounding.
"The partner switch is over," you told him, looking up into his dark eyes. "I spoke to Voight. I'm coming back to your desk next week."
A tear leaked from the corner of Antonio’s eye, a ragged breath escaping his chest. "Thank you."
"But we are taking this slow, Antonio. One shift at a time. The trust... it’s a long way off."
"I’ll climb whatever mountain I have to," he swore.
Rebuilding the Heat
It took another four months before the boundaries fully dissolved. You were back in the truck together, the rhythm of the job returning like muscle memory. The team noticed the shift; the tension in the cage evaporated, replaced by the fierce, unspoken telepathy that had always made the two of you Voight’s most lethal pairing.
The true breaking point happened after a successful raid on a stash house. The adrenaline was high, the night was late, and Antonio drove you back to your apartment to drop you off.
When the engine cut out, neither of you moved. The dashboard lights cast a soft blue glow over his sharp jawline.
"You want to come up?" you asked, the question hanging in the air like a spark over dry tinder.
Antonio turned his head, his eyes burning with a sudden, intense hunger that had been suppressed for over a year. "Are you sure? Because if I come up those stairs, I'm not leaving."
"I'm sure."
The moment the apartment door clicked shut behind you, the agonizing restraint of the past year shattered. Antonio didn't wait. He pinned you against the entry wall, his good shoulder slamming lightly against the drywall as his mouth came down on yours.
This wasn't the soft, tentative kiss of a new relationship, nor was it the desperate, sloppy mistake of his betrayal. It was possessive, demanding, and thick with a year's worth of starved longing. You groaned into his mouth, your fingers tangling into his hair, pulling him closer until there was no air left between you.
"God, I missed you," he growled against your lips, his hands lifting you by your thighs. You wrapped your legs around his waist instinctively, burying your face in his neck as he carried you down the short hallway to your bedroom.
He dropped you onto the mattress, following you down immediately. His hands were frantic as he stripped away your jacket, your shirt, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin of your collarbone until you were breathless and writhing beneath him. When he shed his own clothes, the jagged, pink scar on his shoulder stood out against his tan skin—a permanent reminder of the price he had paid to stand in this room again.
You reached up, your thumb tracing the raised edge of the scar. Antonio paused, hovering over you, his chest heaving as he looked down into your eyes.
"Look at me," he commanded softly, his voice thick with emotion. "Only you. It’s only ever been you."
When he slid inside you, the familiarity of his body sent a wave of heat straight to your core. He moved with a slow, deliberate rhythm, deep and heavy, his eyes locked onto yours as if he were re-writing his signature onto your soul. He gripped your hands, pinning them to the mattress above your head, locking his fingers with yours.
"Antonio..." your voice broke as the friction built, a beautiful, agonizing tension coiling tight in your belly.
"I've got you," he whispered, his pace quickening, his breathing turning into hard, guttural pants. His chest slinked against yours, slick with sweat, the heavy, rhythmic sound of your bodies meeting filling the quiet apartment. He drove harder, searching for that specific angle that always made you lose your mind, and when you cried out, arching your back off the sheets, he followed you over the edge with a low, triumphant roar, burying his face in your hair as his body shuddered with a violent, long-awaited release.
The New Reality
The next morning, the sun broke through the curtains, warming the tangled sheets. You woke up with Antonio’s heavy arm wrapped securely around your waist, his chin resting against the top of your head.
He was already awake, gently tracing patterns on your bare hip.
"What are you thinking?" you murmured, shifting to look at him.
Antonio kissed your forehead, his eyes soft and completely at peace. "I’m thinking I’m the luckiest bastard in Chicago. And I’m thinking about how I'm never letting you go again."
The past wasn't erased. The memory of the betrayal would always be a shadow in the corner of the room, a reminder of how fragile things could be. But as you leaned up to kiss him, feeling the steady, rhythmic beat of his heart against your chest, you knew the foundation was solid again.
Later that afternoon, you walked into the 21st Precinct side by side. Atwater looked up from his computer, a massive, knowing grin spreading across his face. Ruzek gave Antonio a firm nod of approval from across the room. Voight stood at his office window, looking down at the two of you, before giving a single, subtle nod and closing his blinds.
You sat at your desk, clicking your badge onto your belt. Antonio caught your eye from his desk, a slow, genuine smile playing on his lips.
The chaos was over. The unit was whole. And you were finally home. Or so you thought.
The fragile peace you and Antonio had fought so hard to build lasted exactly three weeks before the past collided with the present in the most public way possible.
It started on a Tuesday, during a joint operation between Intelligence and Firehouse 51. A massive warehouse fire in the Back of the Yards district had turned out to be an active arson-for-profit scheme tied to a local street gang. Intelligence was on scene to handle the perimeter and prep the arson investigation, while 51 fought the blaze.
The air was thick with black smoke, the screaming sirens of the fire trucks cutting through the sirens of the squad cars. You and Antonio were stationed near the command post, checking a map of the surrounding alleyways.
"Hey," Antonio muttered, his hand lightly brushing yours behind the cover of the open truck door. "You doing okay with the smoke?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," you replied, giving him a quick, reassuring smile. "Just want to get this perimeter locked down."
"Dawson!"
The sharp, shrill voice cut through the ambient noise of the fire scene. You both turned to see Gabby Dawson marching toward the truck, her turnout gear heavy, her helmet slung over her arm. Behind her, looking incredibly uncomfortable, was Sylvie Brett.
Antonio’s posture went rigid instantly. He stepped in front of you, his face hardening. "Gabby, go back to your rig. We’re working a scene."
"No, Antonio, we need to talk," Gabby insisted, stopping inches from him, completely ignoring the fact that half of Firehouse 51 and the entire Intelligence Unit were within earshot. "I saw your truck outside their apartment again. Are you seriously doing this? After everything? You're just going to crawl back to them and pretend like they didn't isolate you from your own family for a year?"
You felt the blood in your veins turn to ice. You stepped out from behind Antonio, your eyes flashing. "Gabby, back off. This is an active scene, and I am not doing this with you."
"I wasn't talking to you!" Gabby snapped, pointing a finger in your face. "You broke this family apart! You made my brother choose between his sister and a stray! He was miserable with you, and if he hadn't been so desperate, he never would have turned to Sylvie!"
"Gabby, shut up!" Antonio roared, his voice booming over the rumble of the fire engines. "I told you to stay away from us! You manipulated a situation, you lied, and you ruined my life! I chose to cut you out because you're toxic!"
By now, the shouting had drawn a crowd. Jay Halstead and Adam Ruzek walked over from their post, their hands instinctively resting on their vests, eyes locked on Gabby. From 51's side, Kelly Severide and Christopher Herrmann stopped what they were doing, watching the trainwreck unfold.
Sylvie Brett stepped forward, her face bright red, her voice trembling. "Gabby, please, just stop. Don't drag me into this again."
"No, Sylvie, you deserve to be heard too!" Gabby yelled, turning her wrath back to Antonio. "Sylvie actually cares about you! She didn't put you through a year of psychological torture just to prove a point! You're letting them castrate you, Antonio!"
Slap.
The sound echoed sharply against the metal of the squad car.
It wasn't you who delivered it. It was Laura Dawson.
Nobody had seen Antonio's ex-wife approach. She had been dropping off Diego's baseball gear at the precinct when she heard about the warehouse fire and drove over to find Antonio. She had walked up just in time to hear Gabby’s tirade.
Gabby stumbled back, clutching her reddening cheek, her eyes wide with shock. "Laura?! What the hell?!"
"You are a selfish, delusional little girl, Gabriela," Laura hissed, stepping right into Gabby's space, her voice shaking with absolute fury. "You have spent years trying to control your brother's life. You almost destroyed his happiness because you couldn't handle him loving someone else. You used an innocent girl to trick him into a mistake, and you broke my children’s hearts because they couldn't see their father for months!"
"Laura, she—" Brett tried to intervene.
"And you," Laura turned a scathing glare onto Brett. "You knew he was in a six-year relationship. You walked into his home and took advantage of a man who was broken down and exhausted. You have no morals, and you're lucky they are a better person than I am, because I would have run you out of this city."
Brett burst into tears, covering her face as Herrmann walked over, grabbing Brett by the arm and pulling her away toward the ambulance. "Come on, Sylvie. Let's go. Now."
Gabby stood there, humiliated, looking around at the circle of onlookers. Severide was shaking his head in disgust. Voight was leaning against his car a few yards away, chewing on a toothpick, watching her with a look that promised professional ruin if she didn't leave immediately.
"Antonio..." Gabby whispered, looking at her brother for support.
Antonio looked at her, his eyes dead, devoid of any brotherly affection. "Get out of my sight, Gabby. If you ever come near them, or my kids, or my house again, I will file a restraining order. I mean it. You're dead to me."
Gabby’s face contorted in a mix of rage and heartbreak. She grabbed her helmet, turned on her heel, and stormed back toward Firehouse 51's rig, the whispers of her fellow firefighters following her every step.
Laura breathed out a heavy sigh, turning to you and Antonio. She reached out, gently squeezing your hand. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that. The kids love you. Antonio loves you. Don't let her ruin what you built."
"Thanks, Laura," you said softly, your heart still hammering against your ribs.
As Laura walked away, Antonio turned to you. The adrenaline from the confrontation was pouring off him, his jaw clenched so tight a muscle was jumping in his cheek. He looked at you, terrified that the public drama would push you away again.
"Hey," you whispered, reaching out to cup his face. "I'm not going anywhere. We're good."
The relief that washed over his face was instantaneous. He closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against yours right there in the middle of the chaotic street, ignoring the smoke, the sirens, and the lingering stares of the city.
The Reckoning at Molly's
The drama, however, wasn't quite finished. That Friday night, the tension between Intelligence and 51 culminated at Molly's Bar.
The bar was packed. You and Antonio were sitting in a booth in the back with Ruzek, Burgess, and Atwater, sharing a pitcher of beer. The mood was light until the front door opened, and Gabby walked in alongside a few off-duty paramedics from another house.
The entire bar went quiet. Herrmann, who was working behind the counter, slammed a glass down.
"Gabby. Out," Herrmann said, his voice flat.
Gabby looked offended. "Herrmann, I’ve been coming here for years. I’m family."
"You were family," Otis spoke up from a barstool, his usual jovial tone completely gone. "But what you did to Antonio and them? Setting up a coworker to wreck a six-year relationship just out of spite? That's not what 51 stands for. It's embarrassing."
"You all are taking their side?!" Gabby yelled, pointing over at your booth. "They aren't even a Dawson! They're an outsider!"
Antonio stood up from the booth, but before he could say a word, you laid a hand on his chest, stopping him. You stood up, walking calmly through the crowded bar until you were standing face-to-face with Gabby.
"Let me make something very clear to you, Gabriela," you said, your voice low, steady, and lethal. The entire room was so quiet you could hear the hum of the neon beer signs. "I have bled for this city. I have protected your brother's back when bullets were flying. I have loved his children as if they were my own. I earned my place in this family. You? You just share DNA. And right now, nobody in this room respects you."
Gabby lunged forward, her hands coming up, but before she could touch you, Antonio was there, grabbing her wrists and shoving her back toward the door.
"Don't you dare," Antonio hissed, his voice trembling with a dark, dangerous rage. "You are done, Gabby. Get out of this bar, and get out of our lives."
Gabby looked around the room, searching for a single sympathetic face. Severide turned his back to her, taking a sip of his beer. Cruz looked away. Herrmann just pointed aggressively at the exit.
Realizing she had completely lost her grip on the family she thought she owned, Gabby let out a frustrated sob, tore her hands from Antonio's grip, and bolted out the door into the night.
The heavy silence lingered for a beat before Herrmann let out a loud sigh and lifted a bottle. "Alright, next round is on the house for Intelligence!"
The bar burst into cheers, the tension breaking instantly. Antonio turned to you, his eyes dark with emotion. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.
"I love you," he murmured, his breath hot against your skin. "Thank you for fighting for us."
"Always, Dawson," you whispered, tangling your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. "Always."
The Aftermath: In the Dark
Hours later, the adrenaline of the bar fight had faded into a deep, heavy exhaustion. You were back at Antonio's apartment—the place that had once been a crime scene of heartbreak, but was now slowly becoming a sanctuary again.
The rain was tapping rhythmically against the bedroom window. Antonio had you pinned beneath him on the mattress, his dark eyes consuming you in the dim light. The drama of his sister, the job, and the city felt miles away, locked outside the walls of this room.
"I need to feel you," he whispered, his voice thick and rough as his hands slid up your thighs, parting your legs. "I need to know you're real. That you're still here."
"I'm here, Antonio," you gasped as his fingers found your center, already slick and warm for him.
He didn't waste time. He lined himself up and drove inside you with a heavy, breathless thrust that made you arch your back, your fingers clawing into the muscles of his shoulders. He moved with a fierce, desperate intensity, his hips slamming against yours in a rhythm that was borderline possessive.
This was his reassurance. Every heavy stroke, every ragged breath he took against your neck, was an apology and a vow. He gripped your hips, lifting you slightly to meet him deeper, a low, guttural growl tearing from his throat as the friction reached a fever pitch.
"You're mine," he panted, his sweat dripping onto your chest, his eyes locked onto yours, burning with a primal, unconditional devotion. "Only mine."
"Yes, Antonio... harder," you whimpered, wrapping your legs tightly around his waist, riding the wave of the intensity until the pleasure coiled so tight it shattered. You cried out his name, your body squeezing around him as you climaxed, the sudden rush pulling him over the edge right behind you. He let out a loud, ragged groan, driving deep into you one last time as his body shuddered, releasing everything he had kept bottled up inside.
Afterward, he collapsed against you, his heavy chest heaving against yours, his heart hammering a frantic rhythm against your ribs. He didn't pull away. He stayed close, his arms wrapping around you securely, tucking the blanket over both of your shoulders.
The city outside was chaotic, and his family was fractured beyond repair. But in the dark, wrapped in each other's arms, you knew the storm had finally passed. You had survived the betrayal, survived the fallout, and built something unbreakable from the ashes.
The following Monday morning, a quiet, settled gravity took over the Intelligence bullpen. The explosive confrontation at Firehouse 51 and the definitive exile of Gabby at Molly’s had sent a clear message through the entire network of the 21st Precinct: you and Antonio were a locked front. The gossiping stopped. The hesitant glances from the uniform cops downstairs ceased.
By mid-afternoon, the paperwork from the warehouse arson case was finally wrapping up. You were sitting at your desk, typing away at a supplemental report, when Antonio’s desk phone rang. He picked it up, murmured a few professional compliance phrases, and then his face went completely blank.
He hung up the receiver slowly. He looked across the aisle at you, his eyes carrying a complicated mixture of shock and sheer, unadulterated relief.
"What is it?" you asked, pausing your typing.
"Gabby requested a transfer," Antonio said, his voice carrying an echo of disbelief. "Out of District 4. Out of Chicago entirely. She took a gig with an aid organization down in Puerto Rico. She leaves at the end of the week."
The bullpen went quiet for a moment. Jay Halstead looked up from his monitor, letting out a low whistle. "Guess she realized she ran out of bridges to burn."
"Good riddance," Voight barked from the open doorway of his office, his tone final and unyielding. "Now get back to work. We’ve got a stack of backlogged warrants."
Antonio didn't say anything else out loud, but the tension that had permanently lived in his shoulders for the last year visibly melted away. The ultimate threat to your peace had removed herself from the equation.
The Celebration
That Friday night, there was no drama, no lingering shadows, and no uninvited guests. To celebrate the finality of the closure and your official reinstatement as permanent partners, Antonio had arranged a quiet dinner at his apartment—but this time, the house was full of the people who mattered.
Laura brought Eva and Diego over. The kids practically knocked you over when you walked through the door, Diego immediately launching into a story about his latest baseball game while Eva showed you her high school art project. Laura stood by the kitchen island, pouring wine and offering you a warm, supportive smile that told you everything you needed to know: you were their family, regardless of genetics.
"Dad says you're going to be coming to Diego’s championship game next Saturday," Eva said, looking up at you with wide, hopeful eyes.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world," you promised, squeezing her shoulder.
Antonio watched the interaction from the stove, a soft, incredibly proud smile on his face. When dinner was over and Laura took the kids home, the apartment fell into a warm, comfortable silence. The heavy weight of the past year felt like a distant country.
The Reclaiming
With the kids gone and the apartment completely quiet, the atmosphere shifted. The domestic warmth turned thick, heavy, and electric. Antonio locked the front door, turning around to find you leaning against the kitchen counter, watching him with an open, unhurried gaze.
He walked over slowly, his eyes dark with that familiar, intense hunger. He reached out, his large hands anchoring tightly against your waist, pulling you flush against his chest.
"They missed you so much," he whispered, his voice deep and raspy as he leaned down to press a soft, lingering kiss to the side of your neck. "I missed you so much. Every single second of every day."
"I'm right here," you murmured, your hands sliding up his chest, feeling the steady, powerful thud of his heart. "I'm not going anywhere, Antonio."
He groaned softly, the words acting like a match to a fuse. He lifted you effortlessly, sitting you backward onto the edge of the kitchen counter. His mouth came down on yours with a fierce, possessive hunger, his tongue sliding past your lips to claim you completely. The heat between you flared instantly, hot and demanding.
Antonio’s hands were frantic as he reached for the hem of your shirt, tugging it up and over your head, throwing it carelessly onto the hardwood floor. His calloused palms slid up your ribs, his thumbs brushing against the sides of your breasts, making you gasp into his mouth. He broke the kiss, burying his face in the crook of your neck, his teeth gently nipping at your shoulder blade, leaving soft, marking reminders of exactly who you belonged to.
"Antonio," you breathed, your fingers tangling in his dark hair, pulling him closer as your thighs parted instinctively, letting him step right between them.
He didn't wait. He unbuttoned your jeans, tugging them down your legs along with your lace underwear, leaving you bare and completely vulnerable beneath him on the cool granite counter. He stripped out of his own clothes with a practiced, urgent speed, his gaze never leaving yours. The amber light from the under-cabinet lighting caught the sharp planes of his chest and the pink ridge of the scar on his shoulder—the physical evidence of his devotion.
He leaned forward, his hands gripping the edge of the counter on either side of your hips, locking you in place. His upper body pressed against yours, the heat of his bare skin sending a shiver straight down your spine.
"Look at me," he commanded softly, his breathing already ragged.
You looked up into his warm brown eyes, seeing nothing but absolute, unwavering worship.
He lifted your legs, draping your knees over his broad shoulders, and with one smooth, heavy tilt of his hips, he drove himself deep inside you.
The breath caught in your throat, a long, low moan escaping your lips as the sheer fullness of him stretched you, filling the quiet kitchen with the sound of your shared heat. Antonio let out a guttural sound, a fierce, primal growl that vibrated against your chest as he began to move.
The rhythm was punishingly deep, a slow, deliberate friction that targeted every single nerve ending. He gripped your waist, his fingers digging into your skin to anchor you as he picked up the pace, his chest sliding against yours, slick with a fine layer of sweat. Every heavy, wet thrust echoed in the quiet room, a beautiful, carnal rhythm that completely erased the lingering ghosts of his past mistakes.
"You're my home," he panted against your lips, his pace turning frantic, desperate, his hips slamming against yours with a bruising intensity that made your vision blur. "Always... just you."
The tension coiled tight in your lower belly, an agonizing, perfect heat that built with every heavy stroke of his body. Your fingers dug into the muscles of his back, your arching spine lifting off the counter as you reached the precipice.
"Antonio—now, please," you whimpered, your head tossing back.
He didn't slow down. He shifted his angle, driving in hard and deep, hitting that exact spot that broke you. You shuddered, your inner muscles tightening violently around him as your climax crashed over you in waves. The sudden, intense friction pushed him completely over the edge; Antonio let out a loud, breathless cry, his body going completely rigid as he buried himself to the hilt inside you, releasing everything into you as his chest heaved against yours.
The New Dawn
The rain had stopped by the time the sun began to peek through the bedroom curtains the next morning. You were tangled in the bedsheets, your head resting securely on Antonio’s chest, listening to the slow, steady rhythm of his heartbeat. His uninjured arm was wrapped tightly around your waist, pulling you so close there was no space between you.
He was awake, his fingers gently playing with a strand of your hair, his face completely relaxed.
"We need to get ready for shift," you murmured half-heartedly, making no move to slide out of bed.
Antonio chucked softly, the vibration rumbling pleasantly against your cheek. He turned his head, pressing a warm kiss to the crown of your head. "Voight can wait five minutes. The city isn't going anywhere."
You smiled, closing your eyes and breathing in the scent of him—soap, rain, and the familiar, comforting warmth that had defined the last eight years of your life.
The journey had been fractured, brutal, and scarred by a betrayal that had nearly torn your world apart. But as you looked toward the future, knowing you would be stepping into that surveillance truck side by side, you knew you hadn't just rebuilt what was broken. You had made it unbreakable.
PART V: THE PROMISE
The Proposal: 2026
Two years of solid ground had fundamentally shifted the air in the 21st Precinct. The scars remained, but they were now just faint, silvery lines—reminders of a storm you had both outridden. Gabby was a distant memory in Puerto Rico; Sylvie Brett had transferred to a different house outside the district, completely out of your orbit.
It was a crisp, late autumn evening when Antonio took you down to North Avenue Beach. The Chicago skyline stood tall against a violet sky, the lights of the city bleeding into the dark waters of Lake Michigan. The wind was biting, forcing you to bury your hands deep into the pockets of your wool coat.
Antonio stopped walking, turning to face you. The restless, intense energy he usually carried was gone, replaced by a quiet, steady resolve.
"Eight years ago, I met you in a rainy lobby," he began, his voice dropping into that low, gravelly register that always made your chest tighten. "We’ve bled for this city, we’ve fought through the dark, and I almost lost you because I forgot what mattered. But you gave me a second chance. You let me earn us back."
He pulled his hands from his pockets. In his palm sat a velvet box. When he snapped it open, a classic, emerald-cut diamond caught the glow of the distant skyline.
"I don't just want to be your partner at the 21st," Antonio said, dropping to one knee on the cold sand, his brown eyes locking onto yours with total, unshakeable certainty. "I want to be your husband. I want to come home to you every single night for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?"
The tears that blurred the city lights were happy ones. You didn't hesitate. "Yes, Antonio. Yes."
As he slid the ring onto your finger and pulled you up into a crushing, breathless kiss, the final remnants of the past dissolved into the wind.
PART VI: THE UNION
The Wedding
The ceremony was small, intimate, and held in a historic brick courtyard in West Loop. There was no massive family drama—only the people who had stood by you through the wreckage and the rebuilding.
Adam Ruzek and Kevin Atwater stood on Antonio’s side, sharp in tailored tuxedos. Kim Burgess and Hailey Upton stood on yours. Laura sat in the front row, wiping away a tear while Eva and Diego watched with massive, proud grins as you walked down the aisle in a simple, elegant ivory silk dress. Hank Voight stood in the back, leaning against a brick pillar, a rare, genuine smile touching his lips as the chaplain pronounced you husband and wife.
The reception at a small Italian bistro was filled with laughter, clinking glasses, and a profound sense of peace. But the entire night, Antonio’s eyes never left you. Every time his hand brushed the small of your back, or his lips pressed against your temple during a dance, the heat between you simmered, building an undeniable, heavy tension.
"You look beautiful," he whispered against your ear as the clock struck midnight. "Let's get out of here."
PART VII: THE WEDDING NIGHT
The door to the honeymoon suite at the Drake Hotel had barely clicked shut before Antonio pinned you against it. The heavy silk of your wedding dress bunched up around your thighs as his hands lifted you, his mouth slamming onto yours with a desperate, wild hunger that had been building all day.
You groaned into the kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck, the diamond on your finger catching the dim light of the room. He carried you across the floor without breaking the kiss, dropping you onto the heavy, down-filled mattress of the king-sized bed.
"I’ve been waiting all night to get you out of this dress," Antonio growled, his breathing already ragged as he pulled down the zipper of your gown. The silk slid away, exposing your bare skin to the cool air of the room.
He stripped out of his tuxedo jacket and shirt with a frantic, unpracticed speed, his muscular chest heaving as he hovered over you. His hands were possessive, anchoring your hips to the sheets as his mouth traced a path down your throat, his teeth grazing your collarbone until you were writhing beneath him.
"Antonio, please," you whispered, your fingers digging into the hard muscles of his back, tracing the familiar ridge of the scar on his shoulder.
"Look at me," he commanded, his voice thick with a heavy, carnal emotion. He parted your legs, stepping between them, his bare skin hot and electric against yours. "From tonight until the day I die. You're my wife."
When he drove himself inside you, the sheer depth of the thrust stole the breath from your lungs. You arched your back off the mattress, a loud, helpless groan echoing in the quiet suite. Antonio let out a low, guttural roar, his hips slamming against yours in a heavy, deliberate rhythm that was completely consuming.
The friction built instantly, a sweet, agonizing heat that centered deep in your belly. He gripped your hands, locking his fingers with yours and pinning them above your head, anchoring you as his pace turned punishingly fast. The wet, rhythmic sound of your bodies meeting filled the room, a raw, beautiful symphony of a union that had survived the trenches.
"You're mine," he panted, his chest slick with sweat as he drove harder, deeper, shifting his angle to hit that exact spot that always made you lose your mind. "My wife. My home."
"Yes—Antonio, yes!" you cried out, your head tossing back against the pillows as the tension coiled to a breaking point. Your inner muscles clenched tightly around him, sending him over the edge right along with you. You shattered into a violent, blinding climax just as Antonio let out a ragged, breathless shout, his body going completely rigid as he buried himself to the hilt inside you, releasing everything into you in a deep, heavy rush.
He collapsed against you, his chest heaving against yours, his heart hammering a frantic, triumphant rhythm against your ribs as he held you like you were the only solid thing left in the world.
PART VIII: THE PROMISE FULFILLED
Six Weeks Later
The early morning sun filtered through the blinds of your apartment, casting golden stripes across the bedroom floor. You were sitting on the edge of the bathroom counter, staring down at the small plastic stick in your hand.
Two solid pink lines.
A soft, breathless laugh escaped your lips, tears instantly pricking your eyes. You walked back into the bedroom, where Antonio was just waking up, stretching his arms over his head, his dark hair messy.
"Hey," he murmured, his voice thick with sleep as he reached out a lazy arm for you. "Come back to bed."
Instead, you sat on the edge of the mattress, handing him the stick.
Antonio blinked, squinting at it for a second before his entire body went completely still. His eyes widened, moving from the plastic stick up to your face, where the tears were finally spilling over.
"Are you... is this...?" he stammered, his voice cracking.
"We're having a baby, Antonio," you whispered.
A massive, breathless smile broke across his face—the happiest you had ever seen him. He lunged forward, throwing his arms around your waist and pulling you down onto his lap, burying his face in your neck as he held you so tight you could barely breathe.
"A baby," he breathed, his voice thick with tears as his large hand slid down to rest flat against your stomach, warm and fiercely protective. "We're going to be a family."
The journey had been fractured, brutal, and scarred by a betrayal that had nearly torn your world apart. But as you held your husband in the quiet morning light, feeling the steady, rhythmic beat of his heart against yours, you knew the storm was completely gone. You had survived the fallout, built an unbreakable foundation from the ashes, and now, a new life was beginning.
The news of the pregnancy ripple through your lives over the next few weeks, acting as the final, golden seal on the life you and Antonio had fought so fiercely to rebuild.
At the 21st Precinct, the announcement was met with the kind of rowdy, genuine celebration that only Intelligence could pull off. The moment you walked into the bullpen and Antonio nodded to Voight, the old man just looked at your stomach, let out a rare, gruff chuckle, and pointed toward his office.
"Desk duty starting next month," Voight ordered, though the corners of his eyes crinkled with genuine warmth. "I’m not risking my best detective or my future godchild. Congratulations."
Adam Ruzek had immediately hopped over his desk to wrap Antonio in a bear hug, while Kevin Atwater clapped you on the back so hard you stumbled, laughing as Kim Burgess already started talking about planning a baby shower. There was no hesitation, no lingering awkwardness from the past. You were the heart of the unit, and everyone knew it.
The Growth
As the months rolled by, your body began to change, softening and rounding with the new life growing inside you. For Antonio, watching you pregnant was a form of reverent torture. He became intensely, fiercely protective, his eyes tracking you whenever you moved around the apartment or the bullpen, his hand constantly finding its way to the curve of your belly.
By your second trimester, you had transitioned fully to administrative work, helping Voight coordinate cases from the safety of the cage. One hot July evening, after a particularly grueling shift of tracking financials for a major bust, you walked into the apartment completely exhausted, your lower back aching and your ankles swollen.
Antonio was already home, having kicked off his boots and rolled up his sleeves. The moment he saw you wince as you sat on the living room sofa, his expression softened into pure devotion.
"Rough day, mama?" he murmured, walking over and kneeling on the floor right between your knees.
"Everything hurts," you admitted, leaning your head back against the cushions.
Without a word, Antonio reached up, his large, warm hands gently gripping your calves, his thumbs pressing into the tight muscles, working out the tension with a practiced, firm pressure that made a soft sigh escape your lips. His eyes stayed locked on yours, dark and burning with an intensity that hadn't faded one bit since your wedding night.
"Better?" he whispered, his hands slowly sliding up your legs, pushing the hem of your sundress up past your knees, his palms warm against your bare thighs.
"Much better," you breathed, leaning forward to tangle your fingers in his dark hair.
Antonio didn't just want to comfort you; the sight of your full breasts, your flushed cheeks, and the beautiful, heavy roundness of your stomach where his child was growing drove him absolutely wild. He stood up, towering over you for a beat before leaning down to capture your lips in a slow, deep, possessive kiss that tasted of pure hunger.
The Heat of Summer
He lifted you gently, mindful of the extra weight you carried, and carried you into the bedroom. The air conditioner hummed against the summer heat, but inside the room, the atmosphere was thick, electric, and heavy with anticipation.
He stripped the dress from your body, his eyes roaming over your changing shape with absolute, unadulterated worship. He shed his own clothes with a frantic speed, his bare chest pressing against yours as he joined you on the tangled sheets.
"You are so beautiful," he rasped, his hand sliding down to cup the lower curve of your belly, his thumb tracing a slow circle against your skin. "So beautiful it hurts."
Because of the pregnancy, he was incredibly careful, his movements deliberate and reverent. He shifted you onto your side, curling his body around your back, his chest flush against your spine. He lifted your top leg, draping it over his hip, exposing you fully to his gaze.
When he slid inside you from behind, the angle was deep, tight, and agonizingly perfect. You let out a loud, breathless groan, your fingers clawing at the pillows as Antonio anchored his hand firmly on your hip, locking you against him. He began to move, a slow, heavy, rhythmic friction that made the blood roar in your ears.
"Antonio..." you whimpered, your head tossing back against his shoulder.
"I’ve got you, baby," he growled in your ear, his breath hot and ragged against your skin. His pace quickened slightly, the wet, carnal sound of his hips meeting yours filling the quiet bedroom. He drove in deeper, his thumb finding your center and rubbing in perfect synchronization with his thrusts, pushing you over the edge with an effortless authority.
You shattered completely, your inner muscles clamping tightly around him as a violent, beautiful climax took over your body. The intense squeeze was too much for him to bear; Antonio let out a guttural, breathless shout, his body rigid as he drove deep inside you one last time, releasing everything into you as he held you tightly against his chest, his heart hammering like a war drum against your back.
The Full Circle
By the time late autumn returned to Chicago, the nursery in the apartment was fully decorated. Eva and Diego had spent the weekend helping you organize the crib and clothes, their excitement to meet their new sibling radiating through the house. Laura had even dropped off a homemade quilt, cementing the beautiful, unorthodox family structure you had built.
One evening, as a cool rain tapped against the glass—matching the rhythm of the city you both loved—you and Antonio stood by the nursery window. His arms were wrapped securely around your waist from behind, his hands resting on the massive, hard roundness of your belly.
Suddenly, a sharp, distinct kick knocked against his palm.
Antonio froze, his breath catching in his throat. He looked down, a huge, emotional smile breaking across his face as he felt the baby move again.
"They're active tonight," you laughed softly, leaning back into his solid chest.
Antonio squeezed you tighter, pressing a warm, lingering kiss to the side of your neck. He looked out at the flashing lights of the Chicago skyline, the very city where you had met, where you had bled, and where you had survived the greatest heartbreak of your life.
The scars from Gabby's betrayal, the pain of the partner switch, and the long, agonizing months of penance were entirely gone, replaced by a love that had been tested in the fire and come out pure gold.
"Eight years ago, I told you I had your back," Antonio whispered, his voice thick with tears of absolute gratitude as he rubbed your stomach. "Now, I’ve got theirs, too. For the rest of my life."
You turned in his arms, locking your hands behind his neck, looking into the eyes of the man who had fought like hell to win you back. "I know you do, Dawson. I know you do."
As you leaned up to kiss him, the quiet sanctuary of your home felt entirely unbreakable. The storm was over, and the dawn was finally here.
Three months after that quiet rainy night in the nursery, the crisp Chicago autumn melted into a biting, relentless winter. The city was buried under a thick blanket of snow, the streets outside the 21st Precinct slicked with ice. But inside your apartment, the atmosphere was stiflingly warm, thick with the scent of lavender lotion, newborn baby formula, and the quiet, exhausted hum of new parenthood.
Baby Mateo Dawson had arrived in the middle of a November blizzard, weighing a healthy eight pounds. He had Antonio’s thick, dark hair and your eyes—a perfect, living testament to the love that had been dragged through hell and back just to survive.
It was three in the morning. The city outside was dead silent, save for the occasional rumble of a snowplow on the avenue. Mateo had finally drifted off to sleep in his bassinet after a grueling two-hour bout of colic.
You were sitting on the edge of the bed, your hair tied up in a messy knot, a worn-out flannel shirt of Antonio’s hanging loosely off your shoulders. Your body was still healing, carrying the soft, full curves of a woman who had recently given birth. The exhaustion was deep, settling right into your bones, but as you watched the tiny rise and fall of your son’s chest, a profound sense of peace washed over you.
A pair of strong, familiar arms wrapped around your waist from behind. Antonio pulled you back against his broad chest, his chin resting comfortably on your shoulder. He was bare-chested, the heat radiating off his skin instantly chasing away the chill of the room. His thumb gently traced the soft skin of your bare hip beneath the hem of his shirt.
"He’s finally out," Antonio whispered, his deep, gravelly morning voice vibrating pleasantly against your spine.
"For now," you murmured, turning your head slightly to press a soft kiss to his jaw line. "We probably have about three hours if we're lucky."
"Then we shouldn't waste a single second," he rasped.
Antonio didn't mean sleeping. The quiet, reverent awe he felt watching you become a mother had triggered a deep, simmering hunger that had been building for weeks. Because of your recovery, he had been entirely hands-off, contenting himself with soft kisses, back rubs, and holding you through the late-night feedings. But tonight, the doctor’s clearance note was sitting on the kitchen counter, and the look in his dark eyes was fierce, possessive, and thick with a starved longing.
He shifted, catching your jawline with his hand and pulling you into a slow, deep kiss that tasted of pure devotion. His tongue slid past your lips with an unhurried, dominant rhythm, claiming you all over again. You groaned softly into his mouth, your hands instinctively reaching back to grip the hard muscles of his shoulders, your fingers finding the familiar pink ridge of the scar that started this new chapter.
With effortless strength, Antonio lifted you, turning you around so you were straddling his lap on the edge of the mattress. The flannel shirt fell open, exposing your full, heavy breasts to the warm amber glow of the nightlight.
Antonio’s breath hitched. He leaned down, his mouth replacing his hands, his tongue tracing the aching fullness of your breast until you arch your back, a soft, helpless whimper escaping your lips.
"Antonio... the baby," you whispered breathlessly, your fingers tangling in his dark hair as the familiar, electric heat began to coil tight in your lower belly.
"He's asleep, baby. It's just us," he murmured against your skin, his hands sliding down to grip your hips, pulling you flush against his lower abdomen. You could feel the rigid, heavy length of him pressing against your core, hot and demanding through his sweatpants.
He didn't wait. He shed his pants with a quick, impatient kick, his eyes never leaving yours. He lifted your hips slightly, positioning himself at your entrance, the tip of his length slick with your shared heat.
"Look at me," he commanded softly, his breathing already ragged.
You looked up into his warm brown eyes, seeing the same fierce, unshakeable worship that had carried you through the darkest years of your life.
Slowly, deliberately, Antonio lowered you down. He drove himself inside you with a smooth, heavy tilt of his hips, filling you to the absolute hilt. The sheer fullness of him after months of abstinence stole the air right from your lungs. Your eyes fluttered shut, a loud, breathless gasp tearing from your throat as your inner muscles clamped tightly around him, welcoming him home.
"God, you're so tight," Antonio groaned, a guttural, primal sound vibrating deep in his chest. He froze for a beat, his muscles straining as he fought for control, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your hips to anchor you.
He began to move, lifting you up and sliding you back down his length in a slow, torturously deep rhythm. The friction was instant and overwhelming. Every heavy thrust echoed in the quiet room, a wet, carnal rhythm that completely consumed the silence. You locked your legs around his waist, burying your face in the crook of his neck as the intensity climbed higher and higher.
"Antonio, please... I can't," you whimpered, your head tossing back as the pleasure turned into an agonizing, beautiful tension.
"I've got you, wife. Ride it," he panted, his pace quickening into a hard, desperate rhythm. His chest slammed against yours, slick with a fine layer of sweat, his heartbeat hammering a frantic pace against your ribs. He shifted his angle, driving upward with a bruising force that hit that exact spot, shattering your resolve.
You broke completely, your body arching as a violent, crushing climax crashed over you. You squeezed him tightly, crying out his name into the dark room. The intense, rhythmic pulsing of your walls was the breaking point for him; Antonio let out a loud, breathless shout, his hips driving deep inside you one last time as his body went completely rigid, releasing everything into you in a hot, heavy rush that left you both trembling.
An hour later, the room had cooled, and the first faint light of dawn was beginning to bleed through the frost-covered windows. Antonio was lying on his back, his uninjured arm tucked securely beneath your head, holding you tightly against his side. The flannel shirt was buttoned back up, and a heavy down comforter was pulled over both of your shoulders.
You were resting your hand on his chest, feeling the slow, steady rhythm of his breathing. Across the room, tiny Mateo let out a soft, contented grunt in his sleep, but didn't wake.
Antonio turned his head, pressing a warm, lingering kiss to your forehead. He looked toward the bassinet, then back down at you, his eyes swimming with a quiet, profound gratitude.
"Eight years ago, I thought the job was everything," Antonio whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I thought the badge was the only thing that kept me standing. But I was wrong."
He lifted your hand, pressing his lips to the wedding band on your finger.
"You're the only thing that keeps me breathing," he said, looking at you with total, unshakeable certainty. "We built this from the ground up, baby. And nothing is ever going to tear it down again."
You smiled, leaning up to kiss his lips, feeling the solid, permanent warmth of the life you had claimed together. The ghosts of the 21st Precinct, the drama of his family, and the scars of the past were completely gone. You were partners, you were parents, and you were finally, beautifully whole.
EPILOGUE: THE FIVE-YEAR MARK
Five Years Later: 2031
The sweltering Chicago July heat was thick, but the backyard of your new home in Beverly was cooled by the shade of massive oak trees. The sound of children’s laughter clinked against the casual chatter of adulthood, a vibrant symphony of the life you and Antonio had meticulously built from the ashes of the past.
It was graduation day for Eva, who had just finished her bachelor's degree at Loyola, and the entire extended family—the one you had chosen, and the one that had chosen you—was scattered across the lawn.
Hank Voight sat in a lawn chair near the patio, a rare, relaxed smile on his face as he nursed a cold beer, occasionally grunting in amusement at Adam Ruzek and Kevin Atwater, who were currently engaged in an intense, highly competitive game of backyard cornhole. Kim Burgess and Hailey Upton were by the food table, laughing as Diego tried to sneak an extra burger off the grill.
Laura Dawson stood near the deck, chatting warmly with your mother. There was no awkwardness, no lingering ghosts. The boundary lines had been drawn years ago, and within those lines, only love and mutual respect remained.
Gabriela was a name that hadn't been spoken in five years. She had remained in Puerto Rico, completely detached from the family she had tried so desperately to manipulate. The silence she left behind wasn't a void; it was a sanctuary.
"Mom! Look!"
Five-year-old Mateo came sprinting across the grass, his thick, dark curls bouncing, his face smeared with chocolate icing. He launched his sturdy little body directly into your knees. You laughed, catching him and wiping a stray smudge of frosting from his nose. He had Antonio’s intense, deep brown eyes, but your stubborn, unyielding spirit.
"Dad says I can have a turn on the slip-and-slide if you say it's okay," Mateo looked up at you with wide, pleading eyes.
"Only if your dad promises to catch you at the bottom," a deep, gravelly voice rumbled from behind you.
Antonio stepped into your space, his large, warm hand instantly settling against the small of your back. He looked sharp, relaxed in a dark polo shirt and jeans, his broad shoulders filling out the fabric. The pink scar from the shooting years ago was hidden beneath his sleeve, but the strength it had forged in him radiated through every line of his posture.
"Go on, buddy. Go find Diego," Antonio smiled, patting Mateo’s back as the little boy cheered and bolted toward his older brother.
Antonio turned his gaze to you, his eyes instantly darkening with that familiar, intense affection that hadn't faded a single fraction over the years. He pulled you flush against his side, his arm wrapping securely around your waist.
"You doing okay?" he murmured, leaning down to press a soft, lingering kiss to your temple. "You’ve been on your feet all afternoon."
"I'm perfect," you said, resting your head against his solid chest, listening to the steady, grounding rhythm of his heartbeat. "Look at all of this, Antonio. We did this."
He looked out over the yard—at his eldest daughter laughing with her friends, his son chasing Mateo through the sprinkler, and his brothers from the 21st Precinct behaving like oversized kids. A deep, emotional breath expanded his chest.
"No," Antonio whispered, his voice thick with a sudden, profound gratitude as he looked down into your eyes. "You did this. You stayed in the rain. You made me work for it, and you taught me how to be a man worth having. I love you, wife."
"I love you, partner," you smiled, reaching up to lock your fingers behind his neck.
The Anniversary Heat
Hours later, the sun had finally dipped below the horizon, leaving a warm, violet dusk in its wake. The guests had gone, the kids were sleeping soundly upstairs in their rooms, and the large house was enveloped in a peaceful, heavy quiet.
You were standing in the master bathroom, brushing out your hair, when the door clicked shut. Antonio walked in, his shirt already discarded, his bare chest slick with a light sheen of sweat from the humid summer night. He didn't say a word. He simply walked up behind you, his hands wrapping around your waist, pulling your back tight against his front as he looked at your reflection in the mirror.
The heat between you flared instantly, thick and demanding, a well-worn path that only grew deeper with time.
"Antonio..." you gasped as his mouth came down on the sensitive skin of your neck, his teeth gently nipping at your shoulder blade, leaving soft, possessive marks.
"Five years," he rasped against your skin, his hands moving down to bunch up the fabric of your nightshirt, tugging it up and over your head until you were bare beneath his gaze. He turned you around in his arms, lifting you effortlessly to sit on the edge of the marble vanity.
His eyes locked onto yours, burning with a carnal, unshakeable devotion. He stripped out of his jeans with a frantic speed, his body hot and electric as he stepped right between your parted thighs. He gripped your hips, his calloused thumbs digging into your skin, anchoring you to the cold stone.
"Every single day," he whispered, his breathing already ragged as he lined himself up. "I thank God you didn't let me go."
When he drove himself inside you, the sheer depth and familiarity of the thrust made your vision blur. You let out a loud, breathless cry, your fingers clawing at his broad shoulders, your legs wrapping tightly around his waist to pull him closer. Antonio groaned, a deep, guttural sound that vibrated against your chest as he began to move.
The rhythm was fast, heavy, and punishingly deep—the carnal celebration of a love that had survived the trenches. The wet, rhythmic sound of his hips slamming against yours filled the quiet bathroom, a beautiful, primitive echo of your survival. He gripped your hands, locking his fingers with yours and pinning them to the glass of the mirror behind you, forcing you to look at him as he claimed you.
"You're my anchor," he panted, his chest sliding against yours, sweat dripping from his jaw as his pace turned desperate, frantic. "My home. Only you."
"Antonio—now, please," you whimpered, arching your back off the counter as the agonizing, perfect tension coiled to a breaking point in your belly.
He didn't slow down. He shifted his angle, driving in hard and deep, hitting that exact spot that always shattered your sanity. You broke completely, your body shuddering as a violent, crushing climax took over, your inner muscles clamping tightly around his length. The sudden, intense squeeze was the breaking point; Antonio let out a ragged, breathless shout, his body going completely rigid as he buried himself to the hilt inside you, releasing everything into you in a hot, heavy rush that left you both gasping for air.
The Final Horizon
The midnight breeze finally cooled the room, rustling the sheer curtains of the bedroom window. You were tangled in the bedsheets, your head resting securely on Antonio’s chest, the diamond ring on your finger catching the silver glow of the moon. His arm was wrapped tightly around you, pulling you so close there was no space left between your bodies.
He was gently tracing patterns on your bare arm, his face completely at peace.
"What are you thinking about?" you murmured softly, shifting to look at him.
Antonio smiled, turning his head to press a warm, lingering kiss to your lips. He looked out the window, toward the distant, glowing silhouette of the Chicago skyline—the city where you had first met in the rain, where you had bled, where you had broken, and where you had ultimately triumphed.
"I’m thinking about the tomorrow," Antonio whispered, his voice thick with a quiet, unshakeable certainty. "Because for the first time in my life, I'm not afraid of the storm. I know who's holding the shield with me."
You smiled, burying your face back into the comforting warmth of his neck, your heart completely whole. The chaos of the 21st Precinct would always be waiting, the city would always have its dark corners, but in the quiet sanctuary of the life you had fought for, the dawn was permanent. You were partners, you were parents, and you were, finally and forever, unbreakable.
is One Chicago fandom still alive? I've been rewatching PD and Fire and been itching to write for these characters, but I'm unsure if there'll be anyone reading..
AT LONG LAST - SERIES (named reader, with waist length black hair)
The Ruzek Family is a tapestry of loss and unspoken longing. Autumn, a brilliant neurosurgeon and Navy Lieutenant Commander, returns to Chicago as Chief of Neurosurgery at Chicago Med, a move that stirs up old ghosts and ignites a fire that she can no longer contain. Since she was five, Adam has been a phantom, a brother lost to the acrimony of her parents' divorce. She believes he abandoned her; she believes the same. Their history is a minefield of pain fuelled by their father's manipulations. Autumn's secret marriage to Mouse is a passionate inferno, a love forged in the shadows. Ten months in a country where birth control was illegal have left her future uncertain, igniting a desperate need in Mouse. Now, as the past and present collide, the secrets they've clung all clung to begin to unravel, threatening to expose the truth and force them to confront the choices that shaped their lives, and the burning desire that binds them together.
WHO TF IS AUTUMN GERWITZ - the aesthetic
THE NAME MEANING- AUTUMN RHIANNON
THE NAME MEANING- GREGORY ARTHUR HENRY
THE COVER
THE WEDDING SHIT
WHEN CRISIS CALLS: News Article
MEET TEAM SPOOKS
At Long Last (NSFW)
At Long Last ii
At Long Last iii
At Long Last iv
At Long Last v
At Long Last vi
JAY HALSTEAD
Golden Eyes
Love at First Stitch
THE ALL MINE SERIES
One
Two (nsfw)
Three
All You Never Say
INTRODUCING COCO
Coco and Jay's wedding was just the beginning of the adventure. Now they're tackling married life with a mixture of love, laughter and the occasional eye-roll. From navigating family dinners with Trudy Platt to dodging Nerf bullets when Jay goes near the kitchen, their happily ever after is an ode to their love, a sweet journey of two souls who maybe... just maybe realised that there were worse things in life than making an enemy of Trudy.
THE PROLOGUE
FORBIDDEN FRUIT (previously "Goin' Out Like That) Now a series!
TWO (previously "Punished")
THREE (previously "The Question")
FOUR (previously "Dorothea's Flower Emporium")
FIVE (The Halsteads escape to the wilderness)
SIX (Your first day at work challenges you)
SEVEN (You and Jay plan for the future)
EIGHT (A bittersweet day for the Halsteads)
FORBIDDEN FRUIT LORE
A guide to Dr. Y/N Halstead-Platt
Y/N's Dissertation: Acknowledgements and Cover Page
summary: When Jay comes home to a house that’s too quiet and a detail his wife (the reader) would never overlook, he knows instantly something is wrong. As Intelligence races to find the reader and their four-year-old twins, Jay has to hold himself together long enough to bring his family home.
The house is too quiet.
Jay doesn’t notice it at first.
He’s halfway through texting you, “ Walking through the front door.” when he pushes open the front door.
“Boys?” he calls casually, toeing off his boots.
Silence.
That’s not unusual. Sometimes you take them upstairs for baths early. Sometimes cartoons are blaring.
But tonight? Nothing.
He steps further inside.
And then he sees it.
The back door.
Cracked open.
Jay freezes.
You never leave it open, at all. Not after everything. Not with two four-year-olds who think the world is one big playground.
His voice tightens.
“Babe?”
Still nothing.
He moves fast now, clearing rooms instinctively, weapon drawn, heart in his throat.
Kitchen, empty.
Living room, toys scattered, couch pillows knocked sideways.
And then he sees the thing that makes his blood go cold.
One of the twins’ shoes.
Just one.
Dropped in the middle of the hallway.
You would never let them go outside without both shoes on.
Ever.
Jay’s breathing changes.
He moves toward the stairs.
Halfway up, he sees it.
Your phone.
On the third step, cracked.
You never leave without your phone.
Not with the boys.
His hand shakes as he picks it up.
There’s a smear on the screen.
He doesn’t let himself think about what it might be.
He pulls out his own phone.
“Voight,” he panics the second it connects.
“Yeah?”
“They’re gone.”
A beat.
“What?”
“Y/N, the boys. House is cleared. Backdoor was left open. Her phone’s here. Something happened.”
He hears chairs scraping in the background.
“We’re on our way.”
Jay lowers the phone slowly.
He stares at the hallway.
His mind is working, calculating entry points, timing, neighbors’ cameras.
But underneath it?
Something animal.
Something terrified.
“Hold it together,” he mutters to himself.
Because if he doesn’t?
He won’t survive this.
-
It’s dark.
Concrete walls.
The twins are tied together back-to-back with soft zip ties — scared but not gagged.
You kneel in front of them.
Your own wrists bound.
“Hey,” you whisper softly. “Look at me. Look at Mommy.”
Their eyes are wet.
“They’re going to come get us, right?” one of them sniffles.
You swallow the fear clawing at your throat.
“Yes.”
Absolute certainty in your voice.
“Daddy always comes.”
One of the men laughs from behind you.
“You sound really confident.”
You turn your head slowly.
Because you will not let him see you break.
“I’m sure of it.”
-AT THE DISTRICT
Camera footage finally hits the screen.
A black SUV, three masked men, you fighting.
Jay’s jaw clenches when he sees it.
You swing first.
Of course you do.
One of the boys tries to run.
You throw yourself over him.
Jay exhales sharply.
“She kept them behind her,” Burgess whispers.
Voight looks at Jay.
“You raised them strong.”
Jay’s voice is tight.
“She did.”
-
One of the men kneels in front of you.
“You know who your husband is messing with?”
You stare at him.
“Noone. He’s clean. He's a good guy. He was in the rangers.”
A/N: just something I wanted to write for fun since I’m most likely not doing individual full prompts this year for the season. Yet I still kinda am! You get what I’m talking about if you’re familiar with my other works lol!
PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE! + I’m using: ³⁾ “you never came to bed last night.” / ⁴⁾ “ibuprofen and a red bull is not breakfast.” | ⁷³⁾ “clerk said they only have one room left.” / ⁸⁸⁾ “i don’t care if it’s harmless, kill it!!” | ¹⁹⁵⁾ “i read your last article. you’re not half bad at this shit.” / ²⁶⁴⁾ “you’re so warm.” | ¹¹⁵⁾ “you have many strengths; all i’m saying is that parallel parking is not one of them.” / ²²⁷⁾ “it’s too loud in here. i’m going to start biting people.” | ²¹⁷⁾ “i can’t come out tonight, i’ve got to re-pot my roses.” / ²⁹⁹⁾ “i brought you croissants. as like, um, an olive branch.” | ²⁸⁾ “neither of us are leaving this room until you tell me how you got that shiner.” / ¹¹²⁾ “can i help with your hair?” | ¹⁶¹⁾ “you broke his fucking nose!” / ²³⁸⁾ “i’m scared of the things i feel for you.”
WARNINGS: language, most likely fluff mixed with bickering, angst and not the best strategy dealing with a breakup, haven’t seen CABNW so hopefully I’m not too far off writing Joaquin but I’ve been locked on Danny since OMB lol so don’t drag me too much if it’s not up to your standards, and I’m mostly taking a chance writing for some new characters so let me know if they should be added to the list to continue writing for from time to time? + if you read each one, which one was your favorite? 💕
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 -ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 -ˋˏ ༻❁
[ANTONIO DAWSON]
“You never came back to bed last night.” His words might have sent you shooting straight up into the air if you weren’t feeling the consequences of your actions.
You just stepped back into your shared bedroom, more so creeped—and that’s on TLC! Into the space, expecting the man to be in the shower (you underestimated what time it is) so you could easily slip back into a ball in bed.
Swallowing the liquid you previously slurped down you give a dip of your head, “Yeah, it was a late night. I might have crashed on the couch for a little while but I honestly can’t recall.”
Antonio blinks, “That’s not healthy, you know?”
“Please.” You sip at the energy drink in your hand again and fan your hand at your boyfriend who’s sitting on the bed, dressed for work, “Just a little spring cleaning never hurt nobody.”
Lies.
His dark eyes flick to your hands, watching as you quickly pop some pills from your other hand and chug the rest of your drink, “Tell that to the bruising on your body you’re probably taking those pills for.”
Frowning you reply, “…and how exactly do you know there’s bruising?”
Antonio gets to his feet with a sigh, “You got out of bed to clean and that means I can’t sleep, so I got up to finish some paperwork. Don’t think I didn’t hear that big ass bang either.”
“And you didn’t check on me to make sure I didn’t break my neck?!” You cross your arms.
Antonio rolls his eyes, knowing this was coming, “Did I say that? Course I did but when you’re embarrassed and don’t want my help you always tell me to mind my business so guess what? I did.”
Scowling you move around the room in annoyance now, plopping on the bed and wincing as you did so but not without whipping your head back to the man who grabbed his jacket from the nearby desk, dark eyes still set on you.
“You’re an asshole, you know that?”
Antonio snickers, “I’m an asshole because I did what you asked? Okay baby, you got it. Next time wear shoes when you decide to mop the floor at 1 the morning, that way you reduce the risk of busting your ass.”
You’re a huffing mess because you know he’s right and the last thing you want to do is feed your boyfriend’s ego.
It’s silent but Antonio is amused without saying anything. He walks over to you, hand going up underneath your chin but you’re dodging his touch.
“Hey don’t be like that,” he says gently getting you to finally look up at him, “All you had to do was ask me to help but instead you wanted to be sneaky.”
“Would you seriously get up to help?”
Antonio pretends to think about it, “At 1 in the morning?…Probably not, no.”
Leaving you both to share a laugh, although you would have preferred not to.
“Is it bad?” His eyes are scanning over the rest of your clothed frame before meeting your eyes again, “Because when I saw you sprawled out on the floor like a chalk outline…I’m not gonna lie, you had me a little worried, mi amor.”
“I’m not telling.” You look away, sticking your nose up in the air, making Antonio snicker, already having an idea.
He sighs but it’s loving as he gets a good look at you, thumb caressing the side of your cheek now. “Fine then, do what you’re gonna do. But please try and get some proper rest now. Then eat something.”
Lucky for you, you had the day off but if you didn’t you were sure someone would have called out for you.
“This is all the breakfast I need…” you shake the empty can, “and maybe a kiss to feel better.”
Antonio laughs as you tilt your head back and pucker your lips, “ibuprofen and a red bull is not breakfast. But a kiss I can do.”
He pecks your lips three times as a silent way of saying he loves you before going in for a fourth, letting that one linger, so much that you’re tempted to make a call yourself on his behalf until he pulls himself away.
He lets out a breath, “I’m gonna be calling and checking on you, alright? Be good, kid.” He lightly warns with a point of his finger.
Which you can’t help but to bite, making Antonio almost regret clocking into his shift as he sat down at his desk, shaking his head with a smirk while he brings his clasped fingers up to his mouth, deciding to listen in on Voight telling them all about a new case.
[DANTE TORRES]
Torres meets you back outside in the misty foggy morning. The passenger side window is cracked down enough to hear and see him as he announces, “clerk said they only have one room left.”
It wasn’t that big of a deal but there was something in Dante’s green eyes when he said it. Like he was trying to read your reaction but you didn’t give him one. This case was a lengthy one that required a lot of driving outside of the city and you both got the clear to rest up for a few hours before continuing on.
Despite you thinking it wasn’t a big deal, your heart rate might have spiked spotting the singular bed in the decent but stuffy smelling motel room. You paused briefly in the door way before you realized Dante was behind you.
His tone often gentle, makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up while he declares, “I’ll take the couch.”
It’s so small, small enough to fit a toddler and looked itchy and you were sure he would have to ball up like a cat loaf to get all his limbs in there.
Your throat felt dry but you just give a dip of your head although he’s already moving into the room before you. There were light taps of spring rain that hit the windows but that was not enough to erase the sudden tension.
“You can have the bathroom first, if you want?” Dante brings his attention away from the files he spread out on a near by desk.
You clear your throat, “Cool. I’ll be back to check for bed bugs.”
“After you check the bathroom for cameras.” Dante added, but there’s a small smile playing on his lips.
You wink at him for knowing you so well before you take time to yourself in the bathroom. When you arrive back with a can of spray, you find the covers tossed back.
“I already got started,” Dante informs now sitting on a desk chair, “Of course you can quadruple check me before you get to spraying. I’ll be in the bathroom.”
It’s your turn to give him a tired smile as you whisper to him on his way by, “Thanks, Torres.”
“No problem.”
Once deemed safe, you find yourself being antsy pacing the room and even glancing at the files yourself until you feel your eyelids get heavier. The shower just turned off and you make your way to the window, ready to fully close the dusty curtains until you see a critter just chilling on the window.
It’s small, round, and spotted like a cow.
Regardless…it was enough to make you let out a scream and immediately jump away from the window with your knees high up in the air.
“You okay?” Dante says from around the corner, toweling his buzzed hair.
You suck air between your teeth as you shook out your hands, “No, I’m not okay! There’s something in here with us.”
Dante is on alert now, peeking around the area wondering how someone could have gotten into the room. “Where?”
“The window!” You point as he slowly enters the room dressed in a white tank and if you didn’t have fear in your heart, you might fold at the sight of his arms in full.
Dante cautiously makes his way to the window, peeking behind the curtains and then even out the window before he finds the insect crawling up the cool glass. His wide eyes slowly turn back to you, “…Are you serious? That’s a carpet beetle.”
“Its a need to go beetle.” You correct with sass and there’s a bubble of laughter in Dante’s throat.
He’s grinning, “I thought someone was on the outside looking in on you but it’s a bug. A harmless bug.”
You scowl as you start scratching at your arm, “i don’t care if it’s harmless, kill it!!”
Dante frowns, “…What if it has a family?”
“What if it lays eggs on our brains while we’re sleeping?” You exasperate before reminding, “After all you’re the one that’s staying closest to the window.”
“So…you want me to shoot it?” Dante rubs onto the back of his neck while teasing and you want to crawl away.
Iritation takes over, “I don’t care what you do, get rid of it Torres or I’m sleeping in the car.”
“It’s cold out there,” Dante shakes his head with a sigh, “You are aware you’re a cop right? A cop that’s afraid of bugs.”
“And you’re gonna be afraid of me if you don’t handle it.”
Dante laughs raising his hands in the air, “Whoa, okay! I see how it is. Let me just find some paper or something.”
You move to stand on top of the bed, arms folded as Dante moves around the room, stopping to look up at you, shaking his head before using an outdated pamphlet to guide the bug onto. He slowly turns towards you, stepping forward with the pamphlet and making you yelp as he playfully tries to set it onto the bed but moves it immediately after.
“I think I’m gonna ask for another partner if you don’t start respecting me!” You yell at his back as he shortly left the room.
He knocks on the door for you to let him back in but you take your time getting to it and peeking to make sure he’s empty handed.
“You’re cute you know that?” He says to you on his way by, making your heart thud against your chest.
However, externally you scoff as Dante attempts to get comfortable on the couch.
“Shut up, Dante.” You throw yourself into the covers, with your back to him.
Dante comments after some comfortable silence, “Don’t worry…your secret is safe with me, officer.”
Which felt equivalent to him saying you would always be safe with him too.
And you believe it.
[JOAQUIN TORRES]
Being up on the roof of your apartment building at night became a regular routine, with or without Joaquin. It initially started out as his idea in the first place, that one always had the brightest spontaneous (stupid) ideas, whereas you weren’t the biggest fan of heights and sure you could blame it on a frequent case of vertigo but it’s never been your thing.
You remember getting in trouble back in elementary, throwing your sneaker at the gym teacher because he tried to get you to engage with the rest of the kids that were up on the cargo net. You even had a ex who was into extreme sports and heavily into climbing and hiking. You’ve seen that movie, “fall,” and was NOT here for any of it, your family often wondered how that relationship even went on for that long when you two were complete opposites.
Now here you were, seated a good distance from the edge of the building, wrapped up in a blanket peering up at the night stars. There’s a creaking from behind you, the door opening and a smile appears on your face before he even speaks.
“i read your last article. you’re not half bad at this shit.” He greets you with his kindle tucked underneath his arm as he gets down to sit right beside you.
He’s been gone for weeks now, fulfilling his duties as the falcon and making you miss him all while trying not to stress out over his well-being. It’s strange how someone can go from being a complete stranger to possibly one of the most important things in your world.
You take your time meeting his eyes and every time you’re face to face again, it’s like the both of you are tracing each others features to make sure not much has changed. “Gee thanks, I appreciate the feedback: falcon_fan5202.”
Joaquin beams at you, “Damn and here I thought I was being discreet with my screen name.”
“You? Discreet?” You dip your head staring at him underneath your lashes before you both share a laugh.
He shuffles closer to you, shoulders brushing as he looks away for a moment to stare at the same sky. He’s of course happy to be back to see his family but most importantly to see you.
Joaquin couldn’t get to the apartment fast enough, ready to tell you the bits and pieces of his new world but you always figured out the in between since you were a writer so you had to know it all from his mouth. This was the first time you were requested to write on the falcon and you were patient getting Joaquin’s input on it before you did so.
He wanted to be surprised once the article released but knew he was in your good graces for the most part, so he didn’t feel like he had much to worry about compared to other cruel writers.
You bump his shoulder, getting his attention, “All is well?”
He grins, “Sure is! Never better.”
“Alright then, drink up.” You nod your head to the to-go cup that holds a decorative sleeve to protect his hands from the heat.
Reaching forward he grabs it, “I hope this is secretly liquor.”
“Oh please, as if you weren’t celebrating every other night you had a win wherever you were. That right there my friend is that good ol’ herbal tea.”
Joaquin scrunched up his nose playfully, “Oh boo abuela, boo.”
Which makes you shove his shoulder while he laughs, nonetheless he sips at it, sucking in some air after he gets it down his system.
“I’m glad that wasn’t that crappy Earl grey tea.”
You snort, “You don’t know quality.”
“Sure but that definitely wasn’t it,” he disagrees, “The whole grey aspect is very fitting. Felt like drinking liquified cement and it’s definitely top three of the worst things I’ve had to drink.”
There’s a smile on your face as you’re rolling your eyes but you can’t help but to rest your head upon his shoulder, closing your eyes as you listen to him go on a tangent about some specific health tasks he had to engage in when it came to training.
It was good to have him back.
Joaquin realizes that you’ve gone quiet, which isn’t anything foreign as you often were a good listener. However he can’t help but to rest his head right on top of yours, thrilled to have you just as close again.
“You’re so warm,” he murmurs with a smile before taking another sip of tea.
You hum, “All credit goes to the hooded Sherpa poncho you brought back from one your many adventures and this blanket. I’d share but…I don’t wanna.”
Joaquin laughs as he peers down to see that you were in fact wearing the poncho and that brings even a bigger smile to his face, “How kind of you.”
“Hey, I’ve already saved you some tea on this moody spring night.” You lift your head to pull the hood right over your head as the wind picks up.
“And I appreciate that, honey.”
There’s goes that look, as if you were the stars in the sky that were with him when he needed you the most during those missions.
You reply, “You better.”
He presses a kiss to your brow while you tuck yourself back into his side.
“Welcome back,” you breathe.
Joaquin looks out into the city lights, “It’s good to be back.”
‘With you.’ He thinks and your inner thoughts are just the same.
[KELVIN HARRISON JR.]
Kelvin is staring over at you adoringly.
He even lets out a chuckle seeing the pink of your tongue peeking out from the corner of your mouth while you put the last finishing touches on your painting.
He’s dressed in neutrals and you’re as colorful as a field of tulips. The air was fresh, high sixties but felt even warmer underneath the sun. It really was the perfect spring day as you sat across from each other painting portraits of one another.
“Stalker,” you playfully cough into your fist after putting your paintbrush to the side.
Kelvin gives you a blank look, “Wasn’t the task to admire each other and replicate it on this exact canvas in front of us? I was down to paint the park but nooo you wanted to make this difficult.”
“Who said that? Art is all about expression isn’t it? And there’s nothing difficult about this face, love. Please act like you know.” You place your hands on your hips, posing while Kelvin smiles at you.
He also admired your confidence.
“You’re not wrong…but you might feel a little different once you see my outcome.” He admits, muttering that last part as he jokingly puts his head down and scratches at the back of his neck.
You laugh as you reach for the bottle of sparkling lemonade and take a sip, ignoring Kelvin’s waiting hand for it next, since he was the main one who said he shouldn’t be drinking this considering he thought he had acid reflux. “It can’t be that bad.”
“Subjective, maybe?” He rewords, “Kinda like how I think chowchow’s look like cracked out Tasmanian devils but they’re like your top three favorite dogs.”
Frowning you squint up at the sun, “Actually I want a Affenpinscher.”
“A what now?” Kelvin crains his neck out, “I don’t know if I want to know what that even looks like but I’m pretty sure you said different this morning when we were getting ready to come out here.”
You tap your chin and shake your head, “No I don’t think so.”
Kelvin blinks, “You said their blue tongues make them even cuter.”
“Hearsay.” You flick your hair over your shoulder, while Kelvin caresses his facial hair trying to keep his breathing in check.
The man shakes his head at you, “No…you say! Are you trying to gaslight me right now? I know a chowchow beats afrobuttsniffer or whatever the hell you just said.”
You can’t help but to throw your head back in laughter, knowing just how to annoy your man. Reaching out for his hand, he smacks yours out of the way making you gasp.
“What? I didn’t know if you were trying to get me like those aunties in church who like to pinch you when they catch you not listening to the lord’s word.” He holds his hands out innocently.
You snort, reaching back out this time to actually whack his thigh since he smacked your hand first. He allows it with a laugh of his own before you lean back, stretching your arms above your head until he’s reaching around towards you, quickly making you hold your fist up, while rolling your right one to defend yourself.
“No way you’re thinking about beating me up when I’m just trying to eat some fruit,” he gives you a side eye as he plucks the container of raspberries from your side.
You lift your shoulders letting your fist rest, “Can’t catch me Slippin’ either.”
Kelvin rolls his hooded eyes, then he pops a few pieces of the red berries into his mouth before placing it to the side of him, talking with his mouth full, “Let’s do the big reveal on 3, not 2.”
“Okay.” You nod, picking up your mini canvas from its easel.
The both of you meet each other’s eyes, amusement clear in your faces as you count together before spinning your artwork to the other’s.
“You have many strengths; all i’m saying is that parallel parking is not one of them.” Is the first thing Kelvin comments, making you frown.
Tilting your head to the side after glancing at your work you reply, “That sounds like you’ve been waiting to get that off your chest because what does that have to do with my painting?”
“Painting is one of your many strengths, driving is not.” Kelvin informs, holding your stare, and peering at you underneath his hooded eyes.
You scowl, “Now that’s a backhanded compliment.”
“What? I was just thinking about the ride back and praying that we don’t hit anymore curbs…yet you made me look good, like 90s Denzel good.”
Leaning your elbow on top of the canvas resting on the blanket you say, “Well you are 90s fine so it’s not like it was hard.”
“But parallel parking is,” he’s snickering and you’re strongly considering pinching the shit out of him now, “Thank you, baby.”
“No, keep your thank you’s,” you hiss, “You made me look like Mrs. Potato head.”
“You can be my Mrs. Potato head.” 
“You suck!” You yell ready to toss a wet paintbrush right at his handsome face.
“Yet you love me.”
“Ehhh…debatable.” You give shaky hands making Kelvin gasp but there’s a dimpled grin threatening to slip onto his face.
He’s got that devilish look in his face as he tosses his canvas to the side, crawling over to you on his knees and then he pounces on you, knocking you over onto the blanket.
“Why was that necessary?” You peek up at Kelvin who’s lounging above you, just smirking.
“Cause I like getting on your nerves as much as you like being on mine.”
“it’s too loud in here,” you flick one of his necklaces making him give you a confused look, “i’m going to start biting people.”
Which sounded like an excuse to get violent to Kelvin.
Kelvin laughs, “Hol’ up now friend till the end, we’re at a pretty tranquil park and don’t need you locked up because I don’t know if you’re gonna make bail.”
“Well…that Mufasa money might say different.”
Kelvin rolls his eyes, “I don’t know if you know this but…I played scar.”
“And what does that mean?” You tighten your stare, silently daring him to say something you wouldn’t like. You were his biggest hype person and it never went unnoticed.
He exhales, not wanting to take it there, “That I also got that dog in me like Andre from Victorious once said.”
“Leon doesn’t like being referred to only that role.”
“Damn you know him?” Kelvin raises a brow, making you slide a hand up the side of his neck, smirking to yourself, “…But I get it.”
You nod pulling him down so you’re chest to chest glancing at his plump lips, “Yeah and I prefer this brotha right here.”
It’s Kelvin’s turn to smirk after licking his lips, “Say less.”
[CHAD MEEKS-MARTIN]
“i can’t come out tonight, i’ve got to re-pot my roses.” You say into FaceTime, patting the back of your hand against your forehead after re-entering your home.
Chad was always the one to bring you out of your shell and of course the bars were coming more alive now that spring’s breezy weather, part sun, and low percentage of rain for the night decided to stick around.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry I thought I accidentally called my grandmother Delia instead of you.” Chad is as sarcastic as ever, earning a swift middle finger from you.
He laughs while you disappear from screen to retrieve your notepad and bouncing pen. Chad is quiet for a moment, eyeing the beauty of you as you’re scribbling onto the pad, appearing to be busy.
“Can’t you like, do that another day? I mean we’ve been in this new town for months and we should get to enjoy it instead of constantly working ya know?” Chad attempts to persuade you as you scoff out a laugh.
It wasn’t work to you, simply a hobby.
You peek back at the screen, “I get wanting to have freedom, since we all definitely deserve it but I promised Mindy and I’s neighbor that I’d make the front of the home look nice.”
Chad gives you a look, “You mean the redhead neighbor that she’s screwing? Something tells me she doesn’t give a shit about flowers.”
You and Mindy were sharing a two bedroom townhouse in this coastal town, which was something all of you were not used to! Whereas Chad had his own space about fifteen minutes uptown, which still wasn’t far enough for Mindy but that was yet to be determined.
“…Are you avoiding me because I let Tara crash here when she came into town?” Chad suddenly blurts out, making you scrunch up your nose.
Your nose twitched and you scratched at it, “Why would I be avoiding you over our friend?”
“I don’t know…” Chad starts, “Do you think something happened? I know she sent you a story of us when we went out to your DM’s and you gave a thumbs up emoji…which isn’t really your thing.”
Your reassurance was not strong, “Chad babe, it’s not that deep, honestly.”
“Yet I feel like it is,” Chad asserts, “When’s the last time we even hung out for awhile—gone on dates—
“I don’t know you tell me.” You snap and Chad widens his eyes.
He’s figures you out.
“You know it’s not like that with me and Tara, hasn’t been or really been in a long time. You’re mine and no one else is and I want you to know that, okay?” He guarantees, always being the one to wear his heart on his sleeve.
You sigh, “That’s great Chad. I’m gonna go.”
“No…not when this doesn’t feel right.”
“We’re fine!”
Chad urges while he wants to hold your stare from behind the screen, “Do you mean it?”
“…”
“Yeah no, that’s not good enough for me, baby cakes.”
That cringe pet name doesn’t even get a reaction out of you and that’s how Chad knows it’s bad. It’s not like he didn’t ask you if it was okay for Tara to stay with him. Sure you and Mindy had a sofa bed that she could have used yet she chose Chad’s one bedroom that he wanted you to move into with him. Although you said it was fine it still felt odd since the two once had a thing and you were always in the background.
You took the leap of faith and made yourself heard once Chad was officially back on the market and actually taking time out for himself. Which you didn’t want to disrupt but you got tired of constantly bottling up how you felt. It sorta just happened after you admitted your feelings but it wasn’t some fairytale.
Not in this story of your lives.
He didn’t immediately share his feelings since he was in shock that you would actually go for a guy like him.
Which also made you want to horse kick him for even thinking that.
You took things as slow as possible and that works for the both of you, although time was always limited.
“The roses are calling, gotta go love you bye!” You rush out, hanging up the call, leaving Chad to let out a long groan at his apartment.
At least you said you loved him still?
Yet that didn’t make the athlete feel any better.
You’re unsure how long you’ve been in the front yard, the sound of birds chirping happily gradually began to fade as the sound of waves hitting the rocks in the far distance began to pick up took over, while you consistently switched over the vibrant flowers into brand new pots that you dragged Mindy and her…friend Van to get last weekend. It was team work dragging bags of soil into the cart but you three made it work all on your own. Chad even set the picture Mindy sent his way of you kissing your bicep and stepping on the bag of soil as his screensaver.
The guy was ridiculously in love with you but here you were feeling a way about Tara. A girl that you did consider a friend but felt a way about her being here on her own last weekend.
Sharing an apartment on her own with your boyfriend!
Mindy told you that Tara was actually dating and exploring around herself in a city named Tarnșoara, which so happened to be outside of the country that she lived in with Sam, and that you had nothing to really worry about but your mind can definitely pay tricks on you.
Normally you’re not rough handed when dealing with your garden but the thoughts took over and made it appear as if it you were taking it out on the flowers.
“And you tell me I’m heavy handed.”
It’s not the voice that haunts you but you still find yourself pointing the trowel up on alert.
“Hey! It’s just me, your dream guy and boyfriend! And I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t add any more wounds to this glorious body.”
Exhaling you drop the gardening tool, “Chad! What’re you doing here?”
“Well it’s been awhile and you weren’t answering my texts.” He’s sheepishly standing above you, clearly holding something behind his back.
You’re frowning, patting the pockets of your apron for your phone as you ask, “What time is it?”
You see it’s dinner time and the last time you talked to anybody it was after 3PM.
Check ins are crucial in this friend group.
“Wow…time really got the best of me.”
Chad laughs a little, eyeing the work you’ve done, “I can see that…can I help with that last pot?”
“Um…yeah, as soon as you show me what’s behind your back.” You get to your feet.
The twenty-something year old tilts his head to the side, peeking at you from one eye, “Don’t you trust me, babe?”
You feel your head nodding before your thoughts can even give you the wrong idea.
Chad pulls out the item he’s holding behind his back, revealing it to you, “I brought you croissants. as like, um, an olive branch.”
A crooked smile appears on your face as you hold your hand out for the box of pastries, “Are they gluten free?”
He rubs at his neck, “Um…not sure. Don’t tell me you suddenly have an allergy to gluten? I can always return them and get you something else. Like a branch in some olive oil maybe?”
How creative!
You snort, “No, no. I’m just fucking with you, this is great really, thank you.”
It was one of your favorites and this means he was thinking of you so of course you were grateful.
The little things do matter.
Chad lets out a whistle, “Nearly gave me another heart attack, girl!”
“Another?” You question.
“Uh yeah…after I sat on the situation I can see how I was wrong and maybe even disrespectful to you and I’m sorry about that.” Chad looks you in the face to show you how genuine he is and deeply inhales, “The last thing I would ever want to do is ruin what we have over not understanding each other’s boundaries.”
Your heart swells, “No it’s not only on you. I needed to communicate better and I didn’t even know I felt icky about it until after I said it was okay. It’s not really your fault, you were just being a friend. A good one.”
“Aw, you think so?” He sways from one foot to the other, “How am I on a scale of 1 to 100 when it comes to being a boyfriend though?”
You bring your eyes together, “You really want me to rate you, right when we’re trying to make up?”
“Well…I brought you your fav carbs, against my coach’s judgement.”
Of course he contacted his new coach about this!
“I’m sure you’ll work it off in the morning after we indulge in these.”
He pops up at the mention of, “We.”
“Oh…you’re inviting me into your home? I don’t know if your husband would like that?”
You laugh resting the box on a side table that’s sitting on the porch for now. When you turn around, Chad’s already doing the honors of moving the roses to the last open spot.
Leaning against the railing you say, “No husband yet, I’m still pretty young.”
“Noted,” Chad dusts off his hands and smiles over at you, “Can I stay for dinner?”
You stare at him for a moment and roll your gloved hand out, “Come on in.”
Chad nearly runs over to you, lifting you from the steps with one arm. He sets you back on the porch so that you’re face to face and you hold onto his chest.
“I love you so much.” He tells you.
You nuzzle your nose against his, “I know. The feelings mutual, peanut.”
He whoops, throwing a fist in the air as he lifts you by the waist to kiss your lips. “Hear that everybody! My baby loves me again!”
“Chad,” you giggle as he sets you back on your feet, “Let’s get inside, the temperature is dropping and I can use a shower and food.”
His brows are wiggling as you turn from him to head to the front door, “Am I also included in this shower of yours?”
“Depends what you do with those croissants.” You smirk over your shoulder.
Chad grins as he charges after you, “I make a mean breakfast roll on a croissant that even the French would be jealous! So yeah, it’s safe to say I’ll be taking that shower with you.”
He closes the door behind you before he quickly opens it back, snatching the flaky box of pastries off the table and locking the door before chasing you up the stairs.
[JEY USO]
Weddings in spring could be interesting…not something you necessarily would have picked for your own but the things you do for your cousin/bestie! You were fighting to stay awake, seated on the toilet in your robe rubbing in the whipped butter into your skin while trying not to fall over.
You’re a giggling mess and unsure what time it was but a time was definitely had at your cousin and Sikoa’s wedding.
“WHERE DEM FANS AT?! WHERE DEM FANS AT?!” You can hear Jey screaming from your attached bedroom, it was clear he didn’t care what time it was either.
Laughing some more, you screw the top back onto your moisturizer and stumble getting to your feet but catch yourself. So you may have had one too many as well but at least you weren’t having your own concert, risking the police to come knocking at your door.
Gasping to yourself after closing the drawer to one of the bathroom cabinets, you spot Jey dancing in the doorway, performing the line dance, disappearing and coming back again with a half eaten burger in his hand.
“Hey, you better not have touched my food.”
Jey scrunches up his face, head thrown back into view, “Uh…what’s gon’ happen if I stole a couple of fries? That’s right, nuthin!”
Sucking your teeth, you turn hoping the room wasn’t spinning and couldn’t wait for the meds to kick in as you charged out of the bathroom after turning the lights off.
You’re tempted to jump right on his back but Jey turns around, waving the burger towards you and stepping as he sung, “Oh whoa oh whoaaaaa!”
There’s a crooked smile on your face as you shake your head. Jey loved this song so much at the reception, he had the DJ play it at least four times until he got dragged away from the dance floor by Jimmy and Jacob.
He was boisterous and so proud to witness his baby brother become a husband. If he had it his way, he would have been the DJ the entire night since the DJ did fumble all entrances into the hall.
“Yeah, remind me to not hire this fool for my wedding.” Jey said loud enough in the lobby as he stood with the rest of the groomsmen and Solo, earning snickers from most, while you tried to keep your heart steady as he sent a wink and grin in your direction.
You’re too busy day dreaming to realize Jey all up in your face.
Your head goes back, “Damn, can I help you, Joshua?”
His face is serious as it’s locked on your eyes while he slowly chews, “How’d you get that?”
“What?” You deadpan as you’ve heard this before, “This ass? I’ve told you before Bobby Valentino—
Jey shakes his head waving his hand along too, “Nah nah. We’ll get to that later…I’m talking about your eye.”
“What’s wrong with my eye?” You frown slightly turning in the direction of the full length mirror tucked in the corner in the oversized master bedroom, “Don’t tell me it’s finally swollen from all that awful pollen?”
Jey watched as you moved from him in your robe, before quickly following after you to stand behind you in the mirror. He crossed his arms while you leaned forward to see a black ring underneath your right eye.
“I didn’t even notice it after spending all that time making sure the makeup was off,” you shrug, lifting a finger to poke at it to see if it hurt but it didn’t.
Not to say it wouldn’t in the morning!
Jey scowls, “Neither of us are leaving this room until you tell me how you got that shiner.”
You chuckle, “Well yeah because we’re having a midnight dinner in bed.”
Just as you mention the food you stopped at the drive-thru to get on the way home, your stomach rumbled like thunder. Jey doesn’t even bother to make a joke since there’s evident anger in his frame now.
“Jey, it’s fine.” You reassured, lightly squeezing his bare arms before you try to go around him but he blocks your movements, making you raise a brow, “I know you’re not about to play with me when it comes to my food, Joshua.”
He barks back, “Seems like you’re playin’ with me since you won’t tell me what happened.”
“I don’t even know if I remember what happened!”
“Try!”
Tilting your head to the side at his tone you attempt to reason with the glossy eyed man, “You really think if something went down with me when you went off to change that you wouldn’t be the first to know about it? As big as y’all family is along with my dad’s side of the family? Come on now! So let me eat my damn tenders in peace.”
Jey pinches at his bottom lip, thinking it over in his drunken haze. You’re seated on the bed, peeling open the box with force now, feeling yourself getting hot although you just showered. Jey was usually the dancer and wants to fight when under the influence, whereas you tended to laugh at almost everything and wanted to hug on everybody.
Right now?
You didn’t want to hug this man since he messed with your time to eat.
“So…you remember something since you said it went down while I went to change.” Jey started as he plopped on the bed, almost knocking over your sauce before leaning on his elbow.
Guess he wasn’t that drunk!
Holding onto one end of the chicken tender you tap it right against Jey’s nose, making him swat at you with a frown. “That chicken ain’t that good to slap somebody. And I’m not just anybody.”
“It’s good to me, now be quiet.” You sass.
Jey’s still ready to debate, “You think I’m not gonna find out?”
You sigh as you take your time chewing, hoping he goes to sleep but you forgot who you were dealing with as he pokes you.
It’s your turn to swat him from poking you in your boob again, “You’re acting as if someone did it on purpose…”
“I dunno, did they?” Jey rolls his head to the side now as he presses you.
You shake your head, letting some more slip out, “It was an accident to that exact song you’re obsessed with. Cousin Lasa didn’t mean it, you know the boy is lanky.”
Realization passes over his face, Jey rubs at his jaw, “Cousin lasa huh? I’ve been meaning to drop him on his head since he was born.”
You smack his shoulder, making sure it hurt, “Don’t do him like that, he’s just a kid.”
“A kid that looks twenty-five.”
“Isn’t he like fifteen?”
“I know there’s a five in there somewhere…that’s good enough to get a beat down in my eyes.” Jey decides.
“Okay, now you’re doing too much.” You shake your head, “Go back to singing.”
Jey says, “I’m just standing ten toes down for my woman, what’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing until you’re talking about terrorizing a whole child.”
“He’s six foot one! That ain’t no child.” Jey maintains as he stares at you from underneath his eyelashes.
“Leave him alone!”
Jey groans, “This how you gonna be when you bless me some boys of our own? S.O.F.T.?”
You hum, “I don’t know, ask me when you end up with girls. You’ll be just like Ro.”
Jey laughs, “Yeah, whatever. Man gets to decide anyway.”
“So now you’re an endocrinologist?”
“…yeah, yeah I’ll sign the documents as soon as we leave the venue.”
There’s a frown on your face now as Jey lets out an obnoxious yawn, briefly closing his eyes. You shake your head at the man, laughing to yourself some more as you shove more fries into your mouth.
It’s giving chipmunk as Jey peeks at you through one eye but he obviously finds you still to be the cutest thing, “can i help with your hair?”
At the mention of the classic pin up curl bun, you suddenly feel all the Bobby pins shoved into your hair. “As long as you don’t rip the pins out like last time?”
“I wont, you know I gotchu girl.”
“Do you?” You ask with humor in your tone, “I couldn’t tell after the threats you were making towards a entire teenager and a family member at that!”
Jey scoffs looking for his phone but you grab his neck, catching his attention as you squeeze, making him peer up at you then down at your lips. “I Always got you, don’t you ever doubt that and remind me to set a reminder to give Lasa a call in the morning.”
“No,” you whisper before placing your lips right on his.
And let’s just say…Jey wasn’t fighting you on this one.
[ZILLA FATU]
“You don’t need that hoe.”
You would have missed his voice if Bhad Bhabie’s diss track from your AirPods didn’t just fade out. It was ironic really that the song just ended and this man was lingering to the right of you while you ran your errands.
You’re holding onto a pastel Christmas tree, that was actually kinda ugly but you had to get your home ready for Spring and Easter and a few more decorative pieces wouldn’t hurt. Honestly you didn’t get it either, not every holiday needed a tree but overconsumption knew how to target you.
Stretching a smile onto your lips, you hold Zilla’s dark stare while you place the tree right into your cart. Who the fuck was he to tell you what you didn’t need?
“Oh it’s like that?” He rests his hands on the cart, briefly breaking eye contact to peer into your cart, which was filled with a couple of things he was also sure you didn’t need but it was clear you were going for bright and bold.
Pausing the shuffled music with a sigh, you take your time answering him since you had a feeling you weren’t about to leave this store without him harassing you. “Hell yeah it is. What do you want, Isayah? I got places to be.”
He doesn’t hesitate, looking over at you from underneath his lashes, “What do I want? You. I thought that shit was obvious?”
Resting your arms against the handle of the cart you breathe out a laugh, “Cheating on someone you claim to love while they’re up in the hospital is a funny way of showing it.”
The both of you broken up at least a month ago and Zilla hardly faltered reaching out to you. It was to the point you were ready to file your own restraining order against him. It was too much, him constantly showing up, calling with you not picking up the phone, showing up to your job that you threatened you would let the dogs out of the cage to bite him right in the ass if he didn’t get away from you, sending flowers, and even paying for any of your routine appointments beforehand.
He was feeling the guilt as he should.
While you were in a minor car accident, he was out in the club you told him to stay out of and the night that you didn’t go out with him, it all went to shit.
“I know ma, I know.” Zilla hung his head low, “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I fucked up. None of it meant anything, it was stupid type shii. It’s my fault and I’m always gon’ be sorry about it.”
You’ve heard the excuses plenty of times before. He even tried to hide it until the proof got sent right to your phone and it wasn’t somebody random, it was someone who was a friend of your best friend’s. You always said you didn’t trust her since she was known for sleeping with people’s men, you often joked that your best friend was lucky she was a lesbian or else she would have to be careful but look what happened!
This was all a mess that you didn’t want to be part of but Zilla put you in this situation. For as long as you’ve know him, since you were kids and he got locked up for constantly doing stupid shit, you still held him down even if it was only as a friend then.
Look where that got you.
“I don’t really care for your apologies,” you shrug your shoulders, “I just want you to leave me alone like you did in that hospital.”
Zilla tightens his hold on the end of the cart, “I eventually showed up.”
“And showed your whole ass. You broke his fucking nose! He had to see a plastic surgeon because of you, when he actually walked away from the crash just fine until you pulled that shit.”
Zilla immediately sucked his teeth knowing it was only a matter of time before you brought that man up. Of course he jumped to conclusions hearing that you had some dude (a co-worker who was actually happily married) in the passenger side of your car and the fact that he stayed around for you and got smart with Zilla? Yeah Zilla swung and he knew he shouldn’t have but what’s done is done.
“What am I supposed to think when some dude that’s hanging around you that I don’t even really know puffs his chest out to me, mayne? He tried to keep me from seeing you, disrespected me and I’m just supposed to take that? Nah.” Zilla argued, his brows furrowing.
Deeply inhaling you respond, “He was doing us both a favor. You were fucked up and didn’t have a clear mind. The last person you needed to worry about is me not being loyal. I would never do you dirty how you did me. That’s not my character but you couldn’t give me that same grace. You’re lucky your ass isn’t locked up since I talked your team into splitting the cost of what his insurance wouldn’t pay. And talked him out of pressing charges.”
Zilla didn’t know that part, just the fact that it was handled and no one showed up with cuffs to bring his ass back to jail.
“You did that for me?”
“I didn’t do it for you,” you snap, “He’s my friend and a good guy. He didn’t deserve your bullshit so I figured it out.”
Despite you saying this both you and Zilla knew it wasn’t only for some guy you worked with and considered a work friend. If you didn’t care about Zilla you wouldn’t have been around this long. If you didn’t love him or even yourself enough, you would have stayed in this unhealthy pattern.
“Regardless of what your mouth says…thanks for being bout it.”
You roll your eyes, looking away to the shelves again but there was nothing else to really browse. Zilla takes his time looking at you and although it was clear you now wanted to be anywhere else but here, you were still the baddest thing he’s ever had.
“Let me take you to lunch, I know that ass is hungry by now since you’ve probably been at this since eight this mornin’.” Zilla tries to persuade you while you stare at him as if he’s transformed into an alien.
Scoffing you say, “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“You’re out and about walking around with a boot on your foot, I think you can roll with me.” Zilla nods his head towards the exit.
Shaking your head you’re firm, “No.”
“Whatchu mean no?”
“I don’t know how else you want me to say it.” You answer, “You think going to lunch to see how I’ve been when you know exactly how, is going to fix things? You got things you need to figure out without me so do it. When I said I was done I meant it. So if you’ll step to the side—
Of course he doesn’t move, even when you’re ready to ram him with cart. His dark stare is fixated on you, a look that could make anyone shrivel up in fear and listen to him.
You didn’t scare easily.
“You maybe done but I’m not.” Zilla tells you, “i’m scared of the things i feel for you.”
That makes you frown.
“Yeah, yup. I’ll admit it.” Zilla explains, “Not once did I ever enter that club with intentions to hurt you as bad as I did. I know what we have is good and something I’ve been holding onto. I’m a fuck up, it’s what I do but you know better than anyone that I’ve been trying to get right and I was doing aight until that night. I ain’t never loved nobody as hard as I love you. I made a poor choice, I came to my senses as soon as I woke up. You’re my whole heartbeat and when I realized what I did…it felt like it just fell out of my chest.”
“…you tried to hide it. But I knew something was up and it wasn’t just because you were lit and chose violence.”
Zilla nods, “I was hurting too and took it out on Lil Fizz’s twin.”
That actually makes you laugh and you want to push it back down where it came from.
“You need more space…I can try my best to give you that but it’s far from easy because you know I need a heart to keep going.” He informs and runs a hand down his face trying to hide his vulnerability, “As corny as it sounds it’s anything less but true. I miss you. I want you. I need you.”
Sure anyone could fold if you look at the history between you two. You were two years older than him, always looking out for his best interest, even when he had his moments of not wanting to hear you out, but there was a time where there were talks of having a future together and even had a scare which would take things to new heights. This shit wasn’t just for fun, the both of you were locked in.
Yet he picked the lock.
“I hear you, I do but I’ve got to get going.”
Zilla’s shoulders almost deflate, “Aight busy woman, I guess I’ll let you go. Take care of that foot and yourself.”
He wanted nothing more than to throw you over his shoulder and go home together. However today wouldn’t be that day.
After that interaction you have no interest of looking around the store or even buying what you had in your cart. So being one of those people you unfortunately ditch it in one of the aisles and hobble out of the store.
“I’ll be seeing you in two weeks!” Zilla calls out to you.
You pause seeing him posted up against the store building.
Quickly your brain tries to remember what’s happening in two weeks and realize it’s usually a spring break trip that happens around this time. Sikoa sent you the details back in January and he was the designated host, it was basically a birthday trip although his damn born day is in March, his girl morphed it into a part two celebration since she was a April baby herself.
“You’re going on Sikoa and Nai’s birthday trip?” Your head is tilted to the side as you stand on the sidewalk, “We must be in eternal hell.”
Zilla laughs, “Guess we got our redemption arc and all that. There’s still room for more though.”
His hint throwing was not subtle at all.
Scoffing you fold your arms, “…Sounds like a set up to me.”
“I mean…I could have just shown up to the airport on your ass but I heard you already put down your portion, so there ain’t no backing out now. You’re gonna have to see some more of this mug whether you wit it or not so…enjoy your space, ma.” He says into your face after pushing off the wall, even going as far to roughly kiss the side of your cheek on his way by.
And you glare over your shoulder, watching as he hopped in the passenger side of his ride.
Guess it was your turn to have problems with the whole bloodline.
