#slytherpuffrelationships

[m-a-r-a-u-d-e-e-r-s]

In the boys’ dormitory

Sirius: Telling someone “You’re shit” and “You ain’t shit” are both insults.

James: “You are not shit” is reassurance, but “You are not the shit” is an insult.

Sirius: “You are the shit” is a compliment.

Remus: Guys, it’s 3 am.

[m-a-r-a-u-d-e-e-r-s]

Slytherin: Did you like the food I made?

Gryffindor: No, not really.

Slytherin: But I put my heart and soul into it!

Gryffindor: No wonder it tastes so cold and dead.

[m-a-r-a-u-d-e-e-r-s]

James, nudging Lily awake at 4 A.M. : Do you like me?

Lily: I married you.

James: Yes, but did you marry me as a friend, or like, a husband? Unclear.

[m-a-r-a-u-d-e-e-r-s]

Slytherin: :(

Hufflepuff: Turn That frown upside down!

Slytherin: ):

Hufflepuff: You listen here you little shit

[m-a-r-a-u-d-e-e-r-s]

Remus: Are you sober?

Sirius: No, Aquarius.

[m-a-r-a-u-d-e-e-r-s]

Slytherin: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is; a look around the room and a casual “haven’t decided yet” is usually good response.

[m-a-r-a-u-d-e-e-r-s]

Ravenclaw: You’re driving a car and then you you see Hufflepuff and Slytherin in the middle of the road. Which do you hit?

Gryffindor: Easy.Definitely Slytherin.I could never hurt Hufflepuff.

Ravenclaw: The breaks, Gryffindor.You hit the breaks!

[m-a-r-a-u-d-e-e-r-s]

Remus: Sirius,don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink?

Sirius: I’m just helping the kids!

Remus: How’s you drinking helping the kids?

Sirius: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.