#sm x reader

[lazilybeinglassie]

Coiled In Sweet Lies (Shadow Milk × Reader)

CW: Hypnosis, Coiling, Gaslighting, Bad End

Characters: Shadow Milk

Summary: Never ignore the Beast of Deceit. He'll give you something to look at.

Note: This fic is Safe For Work! BUT, if your not a fan of nagas, then this ain't your fic.

You breathed in slowly, then breathed out slowly. Breathing in again, it was a little faster. And so was breathing out. It wasn't working, you were far too freaked out to calm down now.

One moment, you were in the silver kingdom, helping the group find answers to sealing the beasts away again. The next, you were waking up in a garden near a river. No, a courtyard. One that belonged to some sort of palace.

It had a strong scent of blueberries and yogurt filling the air. A serene place that would be nice to embrace in any other situation than this.

But right now, you needed to figure out how to leave. And fast. You had to get back with the others. You had to be there for when the beasts would attack. You needed to be there!

Trying to head to an exit, you climb up some stairs towards a door. When you open it, you find yourself on the other side of the courtyard. What the-? Back tracking, you look for another way. Through a small hole, down another path, every door you could find. But it was no use. It all lead back to the garden and the stream. Something was keeping you here.

Great.

Heading near the river, you decide to take a break and clear your head. Maybe taking a drink would help. Reaching for the river, you dip your hand in, licking it for a taste. Despite the blueberries floating above the surface, this yogurt held none of it's flavor. It was kind of bitter.

Watching the ripples, you start thinking of some alternate solutions. If you couldn't leave the garden physically, maybe there's someone who was making you stay here. Or there was some sort of curse binding you here. Was there a way to find out? Surely there had to be something to this whole place that made it function.

It was then you became distracted with your own reflection. It was changing. The colors tainted into blue as a familiar face appeared instead of you. He grinned and stared right back.

"Lost in thought, aren't we?"

Jumping in reaction, you back up against a tree and breathe heavily in shock. Watching with wide eyes as he rose from the river, floating above it with his usual playful act.

"Hehehe~! You are so easily spooked. I would have never guessed, considering how you handled yourself last time."

You grit your teeth as you glare at him. Of course the beast of deceit would drag you into his trap like this. Must be planning to torment you until Pure Vanilla or someone came to save you. Pulling yourself together, you stand up and sigh. No matter what he did, you weren't going to break.

Noticing your composure, he tilts his head in confusion. "What? Am I suppose to be intimidated by that?"

Without a word, you walk away. Beginning to search the courtyard for any hints as to how you can escape this prison. Starting at the edge of the walls, you search for some sort of markings or spells. You knew nothing of how magic worked, but you did wonder if there was a seal you could break or some markings to erase. Surely there could be something-

A tug on your wrists pulls you away from your position and dangles you in front of Shadow Milk. His smile faded into a pouty frown. "Honestly, how rude of you. I've brought you to my spire to play with me and you're just ignoring me."

You look away. "You're the one who's rude by kidnapping me."

"Come now, you can't want to leave when we've hardly had our fun!"

"It's only fun for you."

Shadow Milk pulls you close as he hugs you. "I'm a professional entertainer. Surely you don't assume I've brought you here to make you miserable~!"

Clenching your fists, you turn to face him. "Look. I know what your game is, so let's get this over with! Go on and do what it is your wanting to do with me! But don't think for a second I'm going to let you enjoy it!" He blinks for a second. Almost surprised by your little outburst. Then he answers back, more calmly. "And what is it do you actually expect me to do to you?"

"I don't know! Anything that involves me screaming and you laughing! What, are you trying to fish for ideas!?"

Once more, he was silent. But then he smirks. Cutting your threads, you fall down to the ground as he backs up. "Well well well. I see you are determined to keep up the charade then." Charade? What was he talking about? "Why don't we try something else then, little cookie~."

Suddenly you feel something wrap around your waist. It clings to you tightly as it pulls you up one of the willow trees. Higher and higher, as though it were as tall as a redwood. You scramble for branches, trying to grab something, anything! Yet your grip keeps slipping as you reach to the top.

All around you are other branches, winding and twisting around like a cage of some sort where light was barely peaking in. Getting a good look at what is around you, it appeared to be a snake tail. Following the coil, you notice a large black snake entwined with the branches, and hissing as it stares at you.

You struggle against your restraints. But looking down once, you can see the danger in trying to get out now. The drop was long, and most likely wasn't going to end well if you did. Shadow Milk may not want you to die, but he could make you feel the impact and damage of it all.

Appearing in a puff of confetti, the clown himself lands on the serpent, next to his head. "Much nicer of a view, isn't it?" He strokes the reptile in approval as he walks down, closer to you. "Although, I can understand you aren't comfortable yet. Don't worry. That will be earned later."

You scowl at him, hiding your nervousness. You weren't giving him another drop of fear or weakness. If he wanted to feed you to his pet, then you would face it head on. You weren't going to . . . wait . . . was Shadow Milk . . .

"PFFFFFF-! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH, you really have a wild imagination, don't you!"

Wh-what? You didn't say anything! What was he talking about!?

"It is a creative idea though. Feeding cookies to a summoned monster, I should use that next time~!"

Your jam ran cold as you could guess what he was talking about. But that would mean . . .

"My my, are you piecing it together?"

A small gasp escaped your lips. Could he be reading your mind?

"RING DING DING! Smart cookie you are, smart cookie!" He applauds you as he leapt off the ground, floating right next to you. "Do you now get it? Here, everything belongs to me. Which means you belong to me. Body, soul, and mind."

Flinching, you feel vulnerable. What did he want with you? What was he going to do now? You wanted to ask these things, but you were unable to put it to words! And technically, you didn't have to.

The beast runs his hand across the scales of the serpent as he grins. "All it took was a little digging for a couple of seconds, and I was able to find something interesting. Mrehehehe! Who knew you were into this kind of thing~!"

Trying to piece together what he was talking about, you look back at the snake. Something you were into . . . oh no. Your entire face turned red. A small squeak escapes you when you feel the tail coil another loop around your torso.

Covering your eyes, you shut the lids tight in defiance. Nope nope nope! This was not happening! There was no way you were going to fall for this! NO!

Of course, now you couldn't see what was going on, so you had to guess as you heard Shadow Milk continue to ramble while floating in front of you. "Now now, you know this won't work if you're not playing along. What? Are you embarrassed?"

"Shut. Up." Your tone was warning him to back off. You didn't want him to know this, no one was suppose to know! HOW DID HE FIND OUT!?

"It's not that bad. Just a little peek is all it takes~." The beast's voice was trying to sound sweeter. Less silly and loud, now softer and alluring.

No! This was still the beast of deceit. He can't be trusted. If you opened your eyes, he would put you in a trance for sure. You would be vulnerable. And you hated that thought so much. You had to fight back, but how!? How could you fight him!?

For a moment, your body could feel the breeze of wind hitting your dough. You were being moved. The tail dropped you into something, and you tried to stand up. However, the ground wasn't stable enough to do so. It was . . . moving. And smooth. Using one of your forearms to cover your eyes, you use your other hand to properly feel the area you were dropped in. It was a nest of coils. Just big enough for you to move around, but small enough to contain you from running or tempting to stand up.

In defense, you sit on the floor of the nest, continuing the plan of keeping your eyes covered until the nightmare was over. Someone was going to come for you. So there was no reason to rush things. You could wait this out.

"Oh, I don't think you will be able to," he teases, leaning in closer and closer, "your temptation will soon give way. I know so."

A thick coil slides up your back slowly. You stiffen and straighten yourself up as you squeak. Your heart races a little.

Stop it, stop it, stop it, STOP IT! Your mind is screaming for it to stop. For him to leave you alone, to be released from the cursed snake. To get out of here! You didn't . . . you didn't . . .

Shadow Milk leans into your left ear as you hear him whisper gently. "I already have seen it. Buried deep within you, under a lie you tell everyone. Including yourself. The scales and the colors are all but flash and flare compared to what you truly wish to gain. The core of your desire."

You bite your lip. Stop. Stop!

He hovers a little back away as he circles you. His voice echoing all around. "The world sees you as a brave hero! Strong and resilient! Hopeful in the darkest moments! Fighting every day to have victory and peace be yours! And it does come . . . but not for you. Everyday you continue to show the bold you, and it never gets a break. An endless charade you play to give them what they want. Because the one thing you want is something you cannot show. The one thing you don't want anyone to find out."

He leans into your other ear, whispering again.

"Vulnerability."

You curl into yourself, turning redder than you ever had been in your life. You knew that he was grinning at that, even as you could feel him backing up again to circle around once more.

"Tough on the outside, yet soft deep down~! And if you had any say in it, you wouldn't show it to anyone until the day you crumbled. HAHA! Oh you've imagined how awful that would be if they knew. That they would look down on you. See you as lesser. Or treat you like you were nothing more than a fragile thing."

"Stop . . . Please . . . stop!" You lost a bit of your bravery. Your tone no longer harsh and cold. It was sounding more like a plead then a demand. You weren't sure what to do anymore.

Hearing Shadow Milk's voice becoming closer again, you could tell he was right in front of you. "Awwwww, but that just left you with only one option. To double down and keep up the act. All in the hopes they won't hate you for the scared little cookie you are." The tip if the snake tail lifts your head a little. You squeeze your eyelids tighter together. He places his hands on your arms. "There's no need to hide from me though. I can see right through you. Every little truth and lie that makes you who you are. And I know you want nothing more then to finally let it all go."

With little effort, he pushes your arms away from your face. You didn't offer any resistance. You just let him do it as you keep your eyes shut and turn your face away. Still blushing like you were ashamed of what was happening. His voice was so gentle and sweet, it was throwing you off with how blunt he was.

"It's not like anyone else will be willing to do this for you. Or at least, you won't have the courage to ask anyone to do it for you. Heh!" Shadow Milk reaches his hand to your cheek, resting it on there with nurturing care. "So do yourself a favor . . .

Indulge yourself for once. And open your eyes~."

Swallowing your breath, you wavered. You have been fighting. Fighting for so long. To be this person you knew everyone needed. And yet, you were too scared to let it all go. To relax yourself for one moment. You always were on edge. Always thinking of how to survive. Not a single word he said was wrong.

But you knew what would happen if you did cave. If you looked into his eyes. If you did, you would lose. He would have everything. And leave you with nothing. There was nothing to gain. And yet . . .

More and more, your focus on your sense of touch was becoming more aware of the shifting coils around you. The serpent slithered around, containing you in your nest.

A thought crosses your mind. That temptation to just . . . sink in a cocoon of coils. Easing yourself of worry and fear. To just have everything stop for a moment. To just finally . . . stop.

One of your eyes gives up. Peaking a little. Darkness. There was darkness around you. Except for a few blue diamond patterns shifting around in fixated circling spots. Opening your eyes a little more, you were piecing together where you were. The snake had coiled into a cage. One that felt like you were trapped in a dome of it's body.

Looking around, you take in the scenery. Only for the room to fill with some eyes that opened wide to stare at you. You stare back at them. A mistake for sure.

You focus on one of them as it begins to illuminate. From it's center, you see colors bloom from it. Like ripples in a river. Each one being a shade of blue, or white, or black. The pattern was slightly slow and steady, but none the less a display to behold. You kept watch as the colors continued to ripple over and over again. Looping endlessly before your eyes.

It doesn't take long before a hand touches your chin, turning you away to a new pair of eyes. Shadow Milk's grinning face stares back at you, with a similar yet brighter rippled pattern in his own. "There you are~!"

Unlike before, you could feel yourself becoming lost. The aura was strong, and alluring. Eyes widening, you freeze in place like deer in headlights. Blue, white, black, blue, white, black, blue, white, black.

The longer you stared, the dizzier you seemed to feel. Head spinning to center yourself as it dragged you in closer and closer into the illusion.

"All that bravado just melted away, didn't it," he says, "bet all that stress has left you tired. So so tired and exhausted."

You blinked. "N-No, I'm not- . . . Not tired . . . "

"Ehe! My my, you are one stubborn cookie." Shadow Milk strokes your cheek. Your breath hitches. "Shhhhh. Calm yourself. Look into my eyes and let yourself relax. Feel yourself grow more and more sleepy the longer you stare."

As you sat there, you could feel it wash over you. A sense of vertigo that slowly crept within you. Eyelids becoming heavy as tension left your body. You could feel yourself getting tired, just like he said.

Shadow Milk's coat tails twist around his legs as they extend into a tail, growing scales and circling around you in the air. You don't react as your too focused on staring.

Blue, white, black, blue, white, black, blue, white . . . black . . . blue . . .

Your thoughts slowed. Blurring in your mind. You wanted to say something, but your words were becoming harder and harder to collect themselves. No. No, you couldn't . . . you couldn't give in yet. You had to . . . had to . . . blue, white, black, blue, white, black.

The colors were consuming your mind the more you stared. You couldn't look away. Your shoulders slumped as your arms dangled from the sides. Coils wrap around you, slithering slowly up your body as you watched. They felt so smooth against your dough. Their grip on you was tender, holding you up.

"Drop deep into my eyes. Let my voice carry your thoughts away and fill your mind. Relax, little one."

You tried to speak. Nothing came out. Whatever it is you wanted to say, you couldn't remember. It faded with the rest of your thoughts. The beast's voice sounded so clear and in focus. As though it was coming from your head. His tail now had reached your shoulders, snug and tight around you like a blanket. Your eyelids were getting heavier and heavier.

So tired . . . you just wanted to . . . sleep . . . for a moment. Your head leans foward to drop. But the tip of the tail pushes your head back up to those hypnotic eyes.

"Ah ah ah! I didn't tell you to sleep just yet. Such a silly cookie~."

" . . . I . . . wasn't . . . sleeping . . . " The coils were slithering around your neck. Finishing the job as they held you in place.

"Comfortable?"

" . . . yes . . . " Your voice was faint. But he could hear you well.

He leans closer. The colors in his eyes moving a little faster now. "Good. Such an obedient little puppet, aren't you?"

His praise makes you shiver a little. The title 'puppet' bounces around in your head as you think about it. Is that what you were?

Shadow Milk smiles as he responds to your thoughts. "Indeed you are. A puppet that listens to your master. Obedient and loyal."

" . . . mas . . . ter . . . "

"Why that would be me of course!"

" . . . master . . . " Blue, white, black, blue, white, black.

You felt your body go limp in his coils. Your jaw is slack. All around you, the world faded into white noise as your focus on Shadow Milk heightened. For all you cared, he was the world. Your world.

"Sink deeper," he commanded.

" . . . sink . . . " you reply.

"Sink deeper then ever before."

" . . . deeeeeepeeeerrrrrr . . . "

"Rest and surrender your will."

You blink slowly. Colors start to glow in your eyes. " . . . . okay . . . . "

Shadow Milk chuckled, pulling you closer to him.

"From now on, you are MINE!"

Once he says those words, you feel something tug from within. It settles within you as a small smile creeps on your face. Your fighting spirit nothing more than a shattered remnant of your old self. Trapped in a spell that only the Beast of Deceit could wrap you in. And you were content.

You couldn't tell what had happened next, but you remembering hearing Shadow Milk's voice whispering sweet lies into your ear as you stare off into space. They were beautiful lies. Wonderful lies that you fully accepted with no resistance. After all. You were his puppet. Obedient and loyal to the end.

Suddenly, the coils unravel from around you as the large snake's own coils rests your body on it like a hammock. Your limbs dangled helplessly as you laid there empty mindedly.

Master Shadow Milk, now back to his original form, floated up to you and petted your head gently. "Such a good puppet you are."

You smiled. "Thank . . . you . . . "

"Now then, I have quite the busy schedule. So for now, it's time to sleep."

A yawn escapes you as the coils sway gently. You feel your eyelids closing as you drift into a blissful slumber. Resting ever so deeply.

You breath in. You breath out. Finally, you feel peace and calm.

--------------------------------------

Heyo! This took me a while to make. Both for busy reasons and writers block reasons. Hope you enjoy this, i know i did! Feel free to let me know how you feel about this one. Also, one of my old one shots got themselves into a reblogging I was not comfortable with recently. So if you wanna say something about this piece, please put it in the comments. If you wanna make your own sequel to this, please make this a separate post and tag me in it.

[r0nni3]

Streber x Gn!reader CHRISTMAS HCs!

I might make Chanukkah stuff too if I feel like I've done enough research. also you don't have to be Christian to read with I won't bring anything up about it bc I'm an atheist and I still celebrate Christmas (mainly bc my family does but anyways-)

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•He definitely goes all out with decorations and HAS to have a real tree

•Always wins any ugly Christmas sweater contest he enters

•puts mistletoe all over and always kisses you under it no matter what

•starting December 1st he will blast Christmas music every.single.day.

•gets you lots of small gifts and 1 or 2 really big things (and ofc it's all stuff you love bc he listens to what you like)

•LOVES PUTTING ORNAMENTS ON THE TREE WITH YOU

•he loves cuddling up with you drinking hot cocoa and watching Christmas movies (he loves Christmas horror movies too his favorite is Krampus 2015)

•does an Elf on a Shelf just because

•if you have any pets he gets them gifts

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168 words

I hope this is ok I actually kinda like it :p

AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS

[vrisrezis]

oh wait sorry i just saw your post lol, do you think you can do a kiawe x reader where the reader dyes their hair to match with his?

Kiawe is dying inside, in a good way! He’s all blushy, and he’s crying! Happy tears of course, and he’s comically hugging you !! He finds this just .. so sweet . And he thinks you’re just adorable . He’s flustered by this . He loves it

[hot-wiings]

The One Where It's Just General Wedding Head Canons.

Edited: 1-27-2021

Haruka Tenou

🎹 For starters, Haruka is androgynous.

🎹 They have both feminine and masculine attributes, and overall is gender neutral.

🎹 That being said, they wouldn’t really care about what their fiance chooses to identify as. Boy, girl, enby? They’re chill with it.

🎹 Although I suspect they might go more for a femme type person seeing as they kissed Usagi and have a rather, special, friendship with Michiru. 

🎹 I feel like Haruka might show up to their wedding in a suit rather than a dress. 

🎹 Probably a gold suit, seeing as they told Michiru it’s their favorite color. 

🎹 Haruka will probably let you decide on the bridesmaids and such matters. 

🎹 Haruka wants their perfect day to be perfect just as much as you, but such trivial things aren’t such a stress to them when they’re worrying over bigger things pertaining to the galaxy and the safety of earth. 

🎹 Haruka would rather let you have control over a majority of those things.

🎹 You’ll get control of the decorations, guest lists, dresses. 

🎹 Although, there are a few things Haruka demands. 

🎹 The car the newlyweds are supposed to drive away in after the wedding? Haruka gets to decide what car it is, and they’ll be the one to drive it. 

🎹 Haruka loves cars, and driving them. That’s a fact. 

🎹 You’ll have to come up with your own vows. Haruka doesn’t want traditional vows. It’s more romantic and heartfelt like this. 

🎹 Michiru will be the one playing the music as you walk down the aisle.  

🎹 Haruka would be playing it, seeing how talented they are with the piano, but it’s Haruka’s wedding, so they’ll opt out for Michiru’s violin, and when the time comes, Haruka will play at Michiru’s wedding. 

🎹 At the reception, Haruka will let you pick a meat, but they’ll want salad. 

🎹 No fermented soybeans, okay? 

Rei Hino 

♦️ Rei will deny how overly excited she is about marrying you. 

♦️ Usagi will mercilessly tease her. Finally, payback for every time she was mean to her. 

♦️ Rei will probably wear a very pretty, traditional white dress. 

♦️ All her bridesmaids will wear red dresses. 

♦️ She wants the wedding to be at the Hikawa Shrine. 

♦️ She prayed all morning before the wedding to ward off evil before the wedding. 

♦️ We don’t see much of her father, so her grandpa is gonna walk her down the aisle. 

♦️ There's that myth that bridesmaids originated as a distraction for evil spirits that wanted to eat the bride. They would eat the bridesmaids instead. 

♦️ Rei tells that to Usagi. 

♦️ Rei also tells Usagi that she’s the first bridesmaid that she’ll sacrifice. 

♦️ When Rei sees you all dressed up, it’s probably the happiest she's been in her life. 

♦️ At the reception, she might try to make a cake mess on your face. 

♦️ She’s mischievous like that, but don’t, and I mean don’t return the favor. 

♦️ She’s an Aries. 

♦️ Getting cake on her wedding dress won’t end well for you. 

♦️ Rei’s not picky about food, but she’d probably like thai food at the wedding. 

♦️ No asparagus. She dislikes canned asparagus. 

Usagi Tsukino

🐰 Honestly, Usagi has been planning her wedding since she was four. 

🐰 You’ve heard of bridezilla? Usagi is worse. 

🐰 Your typical bridezilla gets angry over every little detail, Usagi gets sad. 

🐰 The cakes icing isn’t right? Now she needs to bawl her eyes out. 

🐰 The ice sculpture is melting? She is going to drown in tears. 

🐰 She just wants her perfect day to be perfect. 

🐰 It needs to be perfect. 

🐰 Luckily, she has Ami as her wedding planner.

🐰 That smart woman knows how to fix any problem, and she is going to guarantee the perfect wedding. 

🐰 Usagi will probably wear a really elegant, silk white and gold gown like you usually see Queen Serenity-her future self-wearing. 

🐰 The bridesmaids are going to be her sailor guardians, and they will be adorning gold dresses to match the bits in her gown. 

🐰 She even found a pretty little cat sized gown to fit Luna into. 

🐰 When she walks down the aisle and sees you, expect some tears. 

🐰 Expect a lot of tears. 

🐰 Minako spent well over an hour on Usagi’s makeup, but it was all ruined the moment she saw you. 

🐰 Usagi most likely will opt to traditional vows. 

🐰 There were many things Usagi would have liked to say in her vows, but they couldn’t exactly be said in front of her family considering the sailor type things they pertained. 

🐰 The reception is beautifully decorated, thanks to all the sailors. Artemis even helped. 

🐰 Most people pick between chicken and fish for the reception, Usagi had both. 

[ghive]

three chords ⋆  shawn mendes x reader

inspired by because i had you by shawn mendes

a/n: this is definitely not my first time writing for shawn, but it is my first time posting my work on this blog! initially, i wanted to write a few blurbs first, but this is my debut i guess! i planned this in may because i was planning on writing fics for every song on sm3, which obviously didn’t happen, but now it’s august and i’m finally done. yay for lily.

also i obviously don’t currently have a taglist but if you wanna be added you can send me an ask (or a request!) here

warnings: angst, swearing, anxiety attack

word count: 3.4k

playlist

the 1 ⋆ taylor swift

out of love ⋆ alessia cara

raindrops (an angel cried) ⋆ ariana grande

about you ⋆ fletcher

arms of a stranger ⋆ niall horan

under / over ⋆ gracie abrams

because i had you ⋆ shawn mendes

***

it’s late, but shawn’s not home. he’s been out all day at the studio; he’s been spending more time out writing and recording, so it’s not an unfamiliar situation. it’s empty, too; the air, your heart. you sit at the piano, the view of the toronto skyline almost invisible in your attempt to fill the growing void with song.

three chords, that’s all you’re playing. but you find a small comfort in the melody. it’s simple, unbothered by the tears welling in your eyes. it rings out in the room, like the buzz of the metal had as you dropped the promise ring into the dish that sat on shawn’s nightstand, just an hour earlier.

the door closes, keys jingle, footsteps sound throughout the condo. your fingers dance across the keys one more time, one last time. you’re soft, gentle, with your movements. three chords, two broken hearts, one more moment before it all breaks forever.

you turn around to look at him, hoping the darkness will conceal your glossy eyes. “hi,” you breathe out, pressure rising in your chest as you look over his shadowed face. those warm brown eyes, the scar on his cheek, the soft blush caused by the cool night air. he’s glowing, he always is, but his light is dimming. it hurts.

“it’s late, y/n. you didn’t have to wait for me,” he says, removing his jacket and hanging it up.

“i know, i wasn’t waiting. i mean, i was, but not for you,” you reply in a quiet voice, standing up from your seat at the piano. 

“what were you waiting for?”

you ignore his question. “dinner’s on the counter for you to heat up. i would’ve put it in the fridge when i made it but i wasn’t sure when you’d get home.”

“i’m sorry i’m so late, baby. i just got caught up at the studio, and we were writing and lost track of time-” he rambles, explaining his absence.

“it’s okay shawn, really. go eat. i’ll be awake if you need anything,” you urge, a sad smile painted across your face. he walks to the kitchen as you head toward your bedroom. you grab your last-minute items, your purse, passport. most of your belongings are already in the car - you’re not surprised if shawn’s noticed that the condo’s just a bit more empty - but you can’t be bothered if he has.

you walk into the kitchen, bag in hand. he sits at the table, playing with his food as he fiddles with his phone. you study him for a moment, for the last time. “i, uh, i should go,” you stutter out from your place in the doorway.

he looks up with wide eyes. “where?”

“away.” you close your eyes, a tear slipping out. you feel like your world is crashing down around you, leaving you alone and exhausted.

“y/n,” he stands up, approaching you slowly. you feel like glass, even though he isn’t touching you. fragile, but sharp in the softest way only heartbreak can cause.

“you were right. the other day, on the phone with connor. you’re better off without me. i’m sorry for holding you back.” you brush your fingers across his cheeks. holding him gently, you press a kiss to his lips.

you rest your forehead against him, eyes closed, breathing synced. you step back towards the front door. “i love you,” you say, looking him dead in the eye. he’s still, silent, the situation only settling in once it’s too late. the door opens and closes, you’re gone.

“i love you, too.”

the walk to the underground parking area seems to last forever as you try not to let the tears spill from your eyes. as soon as you sit down in your car, though, a sob cuts through the cool night air.

you cover your face with your hands, salty tears rushing down your cheek and into your shaking palms. you hide away in that position, not sure from whom - maybe yourself, for a few minutes, before sitting up to lean your head back against the seat.

“maybe he’ll finally be happy,” you whisper into the darkness.

he only wishes you were right.

***

that was five months ago, and shawn’s reality is just settling in. sure, you’ve rushed to move on, forget him, but you look happy. you are happy, and you’re sure shawn is too. it’s what he wanted, after all, how could he not be?

he’s not sure how he isn’t, either. but every time he hears your name, or sees your face on a mutual friend’s social media, it gets a little harder. those five months ago, that phone call with connor, the consequences, everything’s still so clear in his mind. it burns more than his tongue when he sips his coffee too soon or touches the flame as he lights candles around the condo. it burns more than anything, and as more time passes, he just wishes he had you to soothe the pain.

his album just came out, and while you haven’t listened to it, your friends have. you don’t mind the sound of his voice, or his name. you try not to dwell on him too much, and that’s easier said than done, but you broke up for him. so, you’re trying to move on for yourself. not to mention the fact that your boyfriend would riot if you even mentioned your ex’s name, and you’re not ready to fight with him, too.

macy’s playlist is on shuffle as the two of you drive through the southern ontario countryside. it’s a calm, safe space, hardly a care in the world as you laugh at your best friend from the passenger seat. that is, until a certain voice sounds from the speakers, his voice.

“what song is this?” you ask, the first few lyrics swirling in your brain.

“because i had you, it’s one of shawn’s new songs so if you want to skip it you can.” macy smiles apologetically, not wanting to upset you.

“no, no it’s okay.”

you just listen. to the lyrics, to the melody, there's something so familiar about it. the song, it’s so obvious, is about you, about that night five months ago. the time it’s taken for you to let go, to finally find a bit of peace.

it’s all fine, maybe you felt yourself tear up just a bit, until you hear those three chords. the three chords that had echoed in the void of your heart for weeks after you left. you weren’t upset with him for using the melody, it was so simple, he probably didn’t even remember it was yours. but the song, the story, your story, you just can’t help but wonder.

***

he remembers. he remembers all of it. the shakiness of your breath before you left, the melody you were playing to make it all go away. shawn knows he should’ve asked you if he could use it in his song, but he couldn’t face you. as much as he craves you, he just has to let go.

he hopes you don’t listen to the album, that you won’t notice that almost every song he’s written since that night and years before has been about you. that when you walked out that door, he’d both gained and lost the most beautiful muse. but if you do listen to it, you’ll know. you’ll know the story, and you’ll know he’s sorry.

you know, and it hurts so much more than you could’ve imagined. in the months since the breakup, his voice had never really bothered you, but when you could tell that you caused the pain he had written about, every single word hit you a little deeper. as soon as you walk into your empty apartment, you drop your bags and collapse on the sofa.

you feel cold, even as you snuggle deeper into the cushions and you feel yourself start to sweat. you swear you can hear someone moving around you, even though your roommate is out on a business trip all week. you’re dizzy, you’re sweating, your head’s pounding. your heart starts to race, your breathing quickens. “i can’t do this right now, i can’t fucking do this,” you choke out.

you rub your hands up and down your arms to ground yourself, shutting your eyes tightly. it’s not stopping you from working up into a panic, and it definitely doesn’t help when his words sound in your head. “you’re okay, baby. i’m here. it’s just me, it’s just shawn,” he’d say to comfort you. it did comfort you, or, it used to, but this time it just sent you farther away from your peace of mind.

“but i’m not okay, and you’re not here. it’s just me.”

***

you lie in bed awake, every little sound amplified in the darkness: the buzz from the air conditioning, the flapping of your curtains, the roar of the cars from the downtown street below. it’s like the sudden return of heartbreak broke the numbness you’ve been living in, bringing you back to the harsh reality of what you used to have.

you sit up in bed, then reach over drowsily to grab your phone. the screen lights up with a picture of you and some friends at the top of the empire state building a few years ago, you had been visiting shawn on tour and met up with them while you were there. you squint slightly as your eyes adjust to the sudden brightness, 2:39 am reads the clock when you can see properly. you open your phone to the home screen before selecting the spotify app. you sigh, then type in his name. “this is probably a really bad idea.”

shawn mendes it reads, the cover of his self-titled album shining brightly into your bedroom. his face split into three, flowers growing in the empty spaces. it’s much prettier than his other two album covers, much more artistic. he’d never really had an eye for design, so you can’t imagine it had been his idea.

you press play, the first track starting to sound out loud before you pause it to grab your earbuds. once you’re settled, you start the song again, and start to hurt, again.

every song, you can tell when it was written. in my blood, you’ve heard that one before. shawn said it was one of the most vulnerable pieces he’s ever written.

nervous, it’s what he used to be like around you told through a story; not quite the same, but it’s yours. it’s the adrenaline of a young relationship, the excitement of someone new.

lost in japan, he’d written just for fun - you remember him coming home from the studio so tired but so excited, it was a new sound, and it was the start of a new era.

where were you in the morning?, it’s a situation you’re sure he’s encountered numerous times since the end of your relationship. you hadn’t heard even a bit of it before.

like to be you, it’s the exact dynamic you two always had when you were in a fight; it’s perfect. “julia michaels!” he had said that evening when he walked in the door. “i can’t wait for you to hear this song, honey.” if only you had known.

fallin’ all in you, has you in tears almost immediately: the first verse encompasses what you had, the second verse what could’ve been. you had plans, the two of you, to have a few kids, grow old together. “trapped up on a tightrope, now we’re here,” shawn sings.

“where did we get lost?” you think as the song finishes. you used to be so sure that you’d last, and he was too. you wish you knew when he fell out of love, when that promise of forever became empty.

particular taste, it’s new; you hadn’t heard it until now. the girl, whoever she is, you just wish that you could be her, even for only a moment. to have him completely mesmerized, to be that kid in love.

why, you’re not sure why it hurts you the way it does - it doesn’t even line up with your relationship, but the feeling it awakens is all too familiar. it’s like your heart had heard it in another world, waiting for the day it would run through your mind like it had your blood. the feeling confuses you, but as the song comes to a close, you close your eyes to cry a bit, too.

because i had you, there it is, that song. it’s so stupid how it breaks your heart - you thought you had gotten it all for yourself, now. yet, the song rips it to shreds, tearing away at the memories you’ve tried so desperately to let go of. he did this to himself, you think, but you wonder if you hadn’t gone, maybe neither of you would be so broken.

queen, it’s new, too. with every song you haven’t heard before, jealousy burns a little hotter. you’re glad this “queen” isn’t you, but you wish that the songs that were about you weren’t so sad.

youth, it’s cute. a nice refresher from the love songs, but nothing worth dwelling on. the message is powerful, but you’re too distracted by the love songs and heartbreak anthems to pay much attention.

mutual, you remember hearing it before. it was always fun for shawn to play with fiction, test his storytelling abilities, so when this song came around, he was more than excited to put it out. it’s a bit more basic lyrically, but the melodies and aesthetic appeal to your tired ears.

perfectly wrong, it seems innocent at first, but as the song goes on, the lyrics start to set in. it’s the story of what you and shawn were before you left - he’d probably written it around the time of the breakup. you just wish he had said it to your face.

when you’re ready, it’s probably the most sickeningly cute song you’ve ever heard. of course, it’s familiar, you’d heard him playing the melody, or something similar, just a couple of years ago. it’s clear that he’d written it early in your relationship or been inspired by that time, and it’s adorable, but it pains you to hear how hopeful you both were. you genuinely thought you would last, get married, grow old together, and it seems that shawn did, too.

you know your boyfriend won’t like that you’re listening to shawn’s music, he hates shawn more than you ever could. you can’t even say you hate him, after all, he’s the one who fell out of love. you hate that you had to leave, you hate that you’ll never look at a piano the same way again, you hate that you’ve become the muse of his heartbreak songs; but you could never hate shawn, not when you still love him more than anything.

you think maybe you’ll never get over him, they say you’ll always remember your first love. but for now you just hope that you’ll be okay, you’ll be okay like you thought he would be. it’s too late to go back for him, run back into the apartment and beg to fix your relationship. he was supposed to be your forever, but you know that dream’s long gone, you woke up to hellish flames and the screaming chaos of your mind and reality. shawn’s too far gone, and you need to stop reaching.

you’re happy with your current relationship, aesthetically, anyway. he’s there for you, and he’s supportive, and he’s lovely. his job is secure, you know that you can call and know that “soon” means a few hours, not weeks. it’s a storybook romance, he’s perfect for you, and you’re perfect for him. it should be working, and it might be if your heart wasn’t so broken, but you still feel the butterflies start to fade, and the sparks starting to cool down.

part of you, somewhere deep down, knows that you and shawn could’ve figured something out, that you should’ve; but he didn’t fight for you when you left, and you didn’t speak up when you had the chance. you were only 16 when you fell in love, just high school lovers who thought you could be more. you were young, and reckless, and hopeful. everyone warned you that it wouldn’t last, but you wouldn’t listen.

you would lie under the stars, shawn would tell you that you were meant to be forever, that those very stars had aligned perfectly for you to meet. one of those nights, you were 18, you sat in the back of his jeep. “hey babe?” shawn said, looking over at you fondly.

“what’s up?”

“i think we have one of the greatest loves of all time, truly. like nobody’s perfect, but we’re perfect for each other, y’know?”

“yeah, yeah i do know, and i agree.” you smiled, then kissed him softly. in the back of his jeep, under the stars, pretending like you’d go down in history. and for that moment in time, you thought that maybe you would. 

***

your sister still asks if shawn will come back, she’s only a kid, she wouldn’t know better. but you know that he won’t, he can’t. he can write songs that’ll never see the light of day and text messages he’ll never send, but he can’t come back to you.

he can’t come back to your family, to those nights spent all together, teaching him how to make your favourite foods, dancing in the kitchen to songs he’d never heard. he can’t come back to sitting at the large, round table to eat the meal that he could never get quite right, but always tasted perfect because he had put so much love and care into trying.

you want to forget so desperately, you can’t take seeing his honey eyes staring back at you when you’re trying to fall asleep, the ache you feel when you sit down at a piano. he haunts you, living in the depths of your mind and the sharpness of your breath. you want to tell him to go away, leave you in peace. but he lingers, as does his power over you.

shawn’s trying to move on, too. but in the eyes of every one-night stand, every failed date, you’re right there. you’re not his, and he knows it all too well. he has to let go, he has to, but he doesn’t. he knows he broke your relationship, that he was just upset and confused and it ruined his life. he wants to text you, at least tell you he’s sorry.

but right now he’s staring up at the ceiling of his apartment, another woman beside him, curled up in his sheets. she’s beautiful, dark eyes to match the warm brown of her skin. she glows in the morning sunlight, long eyelashes fluttering slightly with every slow breath.

she’s kind, and warm, and loving. she’s supportive when shawn needs her, and she can take care of herself without his constant attention. from afar, she’s everything shawn needs and has ever needed, but to shawn, she’ll never be just right for him, because she’s not you.

he looks down at his shirtless chest, gently pulling the covers off his side of the bed. he pulls on his boxers, a pair of basketball shorts next. he looks back at her, watching as she opens her eyes slightly, a small yawn leaving her plump lips. 

she reaches over to the other side of the bed, but when she feels the empty space, she fully opens her eyes. shawn’s standing in the doorway of the bedroom, now fully-clothed, but exhausted.

“you good?” she asks, bringing the sheets up with her to cover her bare chest as she sits up against the headboard.

“i’m so sorry,” shawn chokes out. “i just can’t love you the way you want me to. i want to but i can’t-“ he shuts his eyes tightly, “-i can’t.”

“it’s her, isn’t it?”

“yeah, yeah it is.”

[starlit-stories]

Sentence Prompt - Sam

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warning: None

Word Count: 234

--

"God, you always make me blush so damn much"

You smiled in response, face flushing. “Why Sam, it sounds like you may have feelings for me~”

Sam snorted in response.“Oh, shut up doofus.” The smile never leaving his face. “So, am I going to be getting my jacket back anytime soon?”

“Hmmm~” You placed a finger upon your lips, pretending to think about it for a second “nope~! I think it looks pretty good on me.” You gave him a wink before standing from the dining table and making your way out of the room. Though you didn’t make it far before arms encircled your waist, gasping slightly in surprise.

“And just where do you think you're going?” Sam raised a playful brow, lips pulled into a smirk. You didn’t respond, instead, you wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned in to place a light kiss on his lips. The flush returning to his face as he leaned in for another. Before he had a chance too though, you quickly dipped beneath his arms and took off towards the stairs. “Wha-Hey!” The mansion was filled with your laughter as you raced away from him.

“Sorry, Sam your gonna have to catch me if you want your jacket back~”

The sound of footsteps was quickly becoming louder, signaling he was getting closer. “I already caught you once, doofus, I can do it again!”

[ghive]

mango tea (three chords part two) ⋆ shawn mendes x reader

three chords inspired by because i had you by shawn mendes

a/n: and here we are, the not-so-long-awaited sequel to three chords! honestly when i wrote it i had no intention of writing a part two, but i live to serve i guess. it’s quite a bit shorter than part one but no less interesting, in my opinion, so buckle up. feel free to ask questions about why i did things a certain way or my writing in general because i’m more than happy to answer!

i don’t currently have a taglist, but if you want to be added, you can send me an ask here

warnings: angst, swearing

word count: 1.7k

playlist

stay ⋆ gracie abrams

act like you love me ⋆ shawn mendes

driver’s license ⋆ olivia rodrigo

still ⋆ niall horan

if i hated you ⋆ fletcher

***

it’s been a long day, to say the least, and you’re completely okay with the idea of falling asleep and never waking up. that’s exactly what you’re preparing for, actually, curled up with the softest blanket you own on the worn sofa, tv remote in hand. you flip through the channels, not really paying attention to the quiet noise coming from the speakers in your otherwise silent apartment.

your roommate tried to get you to go out with her and some friends, but she hadn’t ever been too pushy; especially since you’ve gone through two breakups in the span of six months, one being the ending of a long-term relationship. you’re glad she left you alone, but you’re even more glad that you have time for yourself, just to think.

you’ve been doing a lot of that lately, thinking. thinking about what would’ve happened if shawn hadn’t said that on the phone, if you hadn’t overheard, if it hadn’t fueled your insecurities and ultimately caused the end of your relationship. you miss him all the time, but you’re determined to work on yourself and grow personally. it’s time to finally be healthy, you think, and that starts with a nice, long nap.

that is, until a light knock sounds from the door. you wouldn’t have heard it if you hadn’t been secretly hoping to hear from someone other than your roommate, who would’ve just walked in. you grumble in your half-asleep state when you stand from the couch, the soft cushions bouncing below you as you rise to your feet. you pull your cardigan tighter around your body, standing still for a moment when you reach the door to rub your eyes.

they’re still slightly closed when you open the door, muttering a questioning, “hello?”

“hi,” the person in front of you breathes out, the familiar voice rushing to your brain.

you swear you’ve never opened your eyes so quickly.

there he is, disheveled and slouched over, but so, so relieved. he hadn’t expected you’d actually answer the door. you’re still speechless when he speaks again. “i know this is borderline stalkerish, but amir gave me your address and i really needed to see you,” he sighs with a slight smile, rubbing the back of his neck.

your jaw is slack for another moment before you finally speak. “uhm, i, uh, shawn.” confusion crosses your features when you stutter out your jumbled thoughts. “it’s been six months.”

“i know, i know but please, just hear me out,” he pleads, almost desperately.

“come in, then. and tell amir that i have some things to say to him next time we see each other!” you turn around, leading him into your home. he only chuckles. you enter the small kitchen, turning on the overhead light before leaning back against the countertop.

“welcome to my humble abode,” you laugh at the small space, suddenly self-conscious. “it’s obviously not as big as your condo, but-“

“no, it’s perfect. it’s very you,” he smiles, glancing around the room.

“thanks,” you mumble shyly, before speaking up again. “do you want tea?”

“do you have the mango stuff?”

“i might still have some,” you reply, rummaging through the cupboards. “ i think i brought it with me when i moved out of your place.” the tension thickened at the mention of you leaving, and honestly, you can’t believe you’ve gotten this far without bursting out into tears. 

maybe that’s why your head is stuffed in the cupboard you know doesn’t have mango tea in it, just so you don’t have to look at him. you haven’t gotten any of the tea since you moved in, since you left, for that matter, but you haven’t let it leave its place at the back of the cupboard. while it may seem that it’s just tea, it’s all you’ve had left of him that’s yours and yours alone.

“so, shawn,” you clear your throat, easily grabbing the tea from its place in a different cabinet. “what’s up?”

he’s silent for a minute, watching as you turn on the kettle. he’s looking down when he speaks again, “i miss you. i know you have a boyfriend, but i really do.” he looks up at you with wide eyes, the warm brown colour filling your vision.

you laugh, turning back to face the counter. “you basically wrote an entire album about it,” you pour the hot water over the teabags in your ceramic mugs. “i’m not sure you could’ve been less subtle. besides, we broke up a couple weeks ago.” you look at him over your shoulder with a shy smile.

“i’m sorry.”

“don’t be, it’s not like i’ve never gone through a breakup before,” you assure, a slight tone of sadness present in your voice. you walk over to him, a mug of tea in each hand.

“y/n come on, please don’t be like that,” he sighs, taking a mug from your hand. he’s never liked to see you upset, and this is no different.

“like what, shawn? hurt? sad? conflicted?” you look at him with glossy eyes, and he can see the disconnect. you’re simultaneously so close and so far away from him and yourself. it’s hard for him to see you like this -  even harder knowing that he caused it.

you sit down on one of the round barstools, looking up at him while he stares down into his mug. “thanks for the tea,” he smiles forcefully, eyes flickering up then back down.

“it’s no problem.”

the room falls silent again, the only sounds the soft passes of your breathing. you’re not sure what to say, and you’re about to ask if shawn wants to take his tea with him when he breaks the silence.

“i love you,” he says, surprising himself with the firmness he speaks with. you’re surprised too, your breath catching in your chest, looking at him, bewildered.

“no, shawn, i- you can’t. you can’t love me.” you shake your head.

“i do!”

“no! if you love me now, you would’ve loved me six months ago,” you sob, tears finally running down your face.

“but i did. i did love you and i haven’t stopped. i never stopped loving you, y/n,” he tells you, walking over to your spot at the counter. he brushes his thumbs against your cheeks, the fresh tears running slowly down his hands.

“i’m sorry, shawn, i really can’t do this. not after everything you’ve done.” you push him away gently, sliding off the stool.

“what do you mean, ‘everything i’ve done’?” he asks with furrowed brows.

“the album, shawn! every single song on that album, your album, taunted me like i was the one who fucked up. you fell out of love with me shawn, you can’t release an album full of old love songs and expect me to beg for your forgiveness. i never wanted to leave you, but i wanted you to be happy. why couldn’t you just let yourself move on like you so desperately wanted to?” you cry, breaking his heart even more than you already had.

“i told you, i never fell out of love with you! i never wanted to move on, i wanted to fix us!” he exclaims, the hurt turning into anger.

“well that turned out fucking great! now we’re standing here in my kitchen, brokenhearted, at 9 pm on a saturday because of it!” you yell back, trying not to be too loud for the sake of your neighbours.

“i don’t know what to tell you, y/n,” he says, the initial rage bubbling back down.

“obviously you do since you showed up here in the first place!” your tea’s abandoned on the countertop, and all of the frustration you’ve been holding in for the past six months is flying out of you. while you’re sure you’ll regret all of this in the morning, you can’t bring yourself to care.

your cheeks are flushed and your breathing’s heavy, you’re more angry than shawn’s ever seen you. he hates this too, he just hates when you’re not happy, and he hates that you’re not his anymore.

“y/n, it’s always been you, i promise. i was stupid and i made a mistake. i’m so sorry.” he wants to make you look him in the eyes and see the sincerity floating behind them, he wants you to believe him and every word that he’s saying, but he won’t, and he doesn’t.

“you made a mistake and you broke me, shawn. i’m sick and tired of being so lonely but i can’t find the will to change. i don’t want to feel like this, but i can’t go back to you,” you breathe out, your voice lowering to almost a whisper.

“i never wanted to hurt you,” his voice is almost as low, but just as full of emotion.

“i know,” you smile, and for the first time in a while, it’s almost genuine. “i don’t hate you shawn, i never could. and i don’t want you to think that this has been easy for me either, because honestly, these last few months have been some of the worst of my life. when i walked out of that apartment i walked out on my best friend, and i am sorry.”

“please don’t apologize, it’s my fault, i know,” he says sheepishly.

“you’re right, it is your fault,” you reply with a giggle.

“well, uhm, now that i know you don’t hate me, this’ll be a lot less awkward.” his eyes scan over your face, trying his best to read your emotions.

you laugh again, “it’s already awkward, shawn. what are you doing?”

“please, please just let me hold you,” he pleads, his eyes staring into yours.

“what?”

“i just- i don’t know or care what happens when i leave, but i need to be close to you. i’m not ready to lose you, y/n. i can’t lose you. this is painfully awkward, i know, but i promise i’ll shut up if you let me have you for a bit. or i’ll just leave, if you’d rather, which i can totally do-”

a small smile paints across your face at his rambling as you cut him off. “no! no, shawn, please don’t leave.”