Always On Display: Female Student, Kenyon College ‘14.
I loved going to a school in which people were valued for their intelligence and talent and compassion as much as for their looks, their social connections, their clothes. But being at a place like that also created even more pressure to be seen as a good at everything, especially as a woman – it’s not enough to be smart, you have to be involved in a performance group or lead a community service organization. It’s not enough to be attractive, you have to have a distinct style and be cavalier about your appearance. Not enough to test well - you have to be vocal in class –not too vocal that you merit eye rolls from your neighbors, not too quiet that it seems like you don’t have anything to say.
The thing about going to a small, liberal arts school is that everything you do is on display – there’s so much pressure to make it seem like you have it all together, all the time—you’re never truly alone at school, and there’s little time to take stock of how you feel outside the context of your friends, your peers. When does anyone ever step back and think – who am I out of the context of this place? And do I like who I am? I think there were definitely moments during my four years that, had I asked myself that question, the answer would have been “no, not really.” I think the moments when I was my best version of myself were when I stopped caring whether or not I was the best version of myself.
