#smalltonystark

[itsallavengers]

some kid in the mcu: *discovers they have superpowers* — their friends, already on twitter: @TonyStark please adopt my friend theyve got superpowers and theyre very gay and they need a dad

Tony Stark, seeing these gay superkids and then looking at the tower already filled w rooms for the superpowered youngsters he’s taken under his wing: Pepper we need to build another floor. Or maybe just a new tower

Pepper: Tony how do you expect to legally take in all these children. It’s not possible

Tony:

[lesbianbucks]

steve really shaved his depression beard and started wearing nice clothes again just for tony like im gonna scream

steve: maybe if i show a little tiddy tony will forgive me

natasha: i don’t think it works like that

steve: .......anyway how much tiddy does this sweater show?

[tinynebula]

tony took one look at steve, realized that he was the person that was supposed to be “in charge” of the avengers (as if anyone could be in charge of tony himself) and then decided that the best thing to do was seduce him so he could flount the rules without getting into too much trouble. it didnt work and now steve keeps paying attention to him and asking him on movie dates and romantic candlelit dinners and he tried to propose to tony once but he started crying and didnt finish the sentence.

LAKSJDJSJSJD im fucking crying

tony, sipping wine with natasha: so i wanted to get away with reckless shit like listening to acdc while shooting terrorists on the dick right?

nat, paining her toenails: and?

tony: so i fucked steve

nat: risky, but effective

tony: he cried when he came and told me he loved me

nat:

tony:

nat:

tony: he said he wants to "go steady"

nat:

tony: and idk how to tell him that im fucking thor now

nat:

tony: and i think i saw him buying a ring

nat:

tony: what do i do?

nat:

nat: castrate him

[wizardnuke]

steve: hey tony how’ve you been — tony, waving morgan around like he’s jake gyllenhaal with a ferret: im doing AMAZING!!! look what i helped make!!!! her name is morgan and she’s already smarter than you!!!!!

steve, crying: yes of course I'm so sorry I tried to speak

[lovelyirony]

rhodey: omg tony you really sister snapped at that stockholder’s meeting like honestly wig — tony: we’re breaking up i cant do this anymore

rhodey: aw :( guys press f for respeck 

tony: i could have the leader of AIM on speed dial right now to just automatically kill me is that what you want 

[falllpoutboy]

i HATE the fact that they named their alpaca gerald like you KNOW tony and his single brain cell looked at a baby alpaca and said "hey lets give it a name that belongs to a grown man who sells insurance for a living" and pepper was like "you know what? if this is what it takes to distract him from building morgan her own mini iron man suit so she can beat up whoever's being mean to her at preschool? then it's fine"

OH ABSOLUTELYYYY but that doesn’t stop tony himself from putting on the mark 85 and going down to the preschool and making thinly veiled threats anyways

[eitijeu]

that gif of jake gyllsbdhuwjans (i’m not gonna attempt to spell his last name because i have self-respect) waving that ferret around = tony showing off his new daughter to the avengers and all of them silently freaking the fuck out abt it

KNHKSIEORGJSKGSKSN OK YEAH! YEAH

[elcorhamletlive]

ooooo imagine tony baking all of the captain pupmericas a puppy-safe cake for their birthday today!!

He WOULD!! He’d bake human Steve a huge cake, and then a second one for the puppies. Both of them would be corgi-shaped. All the pupmericas would happily eat theirs and get frosting all over their fur (which of course would result in it getting all over Tony’s face as well when they thanked him with puppy kisses).