Trust: Chapter 1
Pairing(s): Negan x Reader Prompt from @smilingdrunkard: I love the idea of the reader being a badass saviour who not only has Negan's trust but they have this close relationship where they flirt and joke around and just enjoy the other's company. The reader doesn't want to be another wife so she rejects him even though they both care a lot about each other. They are very protective of each other. So do what you want with this i guess. Maybe a run or someone kidnapped the reader or problems at the sanctuary. Summary: Before the initial outbreak you were Marine, and after the outbreak, you’re a Marine at the Sanctuary. You are one of the few people that can call Negan a friend. You trust him, and he you. You have an interesting relationship with him. It’s more than friends but less than partners. You don’t want to be part of his trophy wife collection, but you still care about him. After a night of drinking with him, it leaves you to wonder can you trust him like you thought you could? Reader Gender: Female Word Count: 3675 Warnings: Sexual tension, implied rape (none described)
A/N: I really enjoyed writing this, even though it took forever, I have plans for more chapters, I have so many ideas for this one, that a simple one shot is not enough. It’s going to get angsty and dark and deal with some serious themes, but rest assured they will be dealt with. I hope you like it. There will be more to come.
Ch.2
“Do you know why you haven’t hit that target yet? Because you hold your gun like a bitch, that’s why!” you berated the Savior in front of you. You scrubbed your face in annoyance, some people took to using firearms and others didn’t, he didn’t seem like he was taking ot it at all. You adjusted his grip on the gun and the male looked a little bitter but he didn’t say anything. The Savior next to him snickered and you pivoted, “Boy, you haven’t hit that bullseye once, you went through two magazines, I don’t know what the fuck you’re laughing at, your girlfriend isn’t amused either son, If you miss her bullseye, like you’re missing this one, she’s gonna be Negan’s next wife.”
You saw his shoulders stiffen and he started to say something, you stared at him and arched an eyebrow. His mouth opened but behind you, you heard Negan’s chuckle, right before he let out a low whistle. His mouth snapped shut, but you wished he would have said whatever it was, so you could put him on his ass. It was hard for most of them to hear through the gunshots, but after a moment the gunshots slowed to a halt. You knew he was coming to check your progress.
You had been a Marine Sergeant and while you’d always been useful to Negan, you suggested training the other Saviors on PROPER firearm use. Afterall, you didn’t want someone watching your back that didn’t know how to use a gun properly. You made that suggestion to him after one of them clipped your shoulder with a bullet.
The other Saviors knelt you just pivoted to face Negan, you kept a stern look on your face even though he was grinning like a Cheshire cat, “If you’re looking for more guys, the three on the end over there are done, they’re good, that jackass over there,” you jerked your thumb to the man’s face you’d just been in, “Give me another week with him and the one next to him...might be better off as a worker,” you worked in small batches, it was easier to give them one on one attention, they’d be better for it.
“Good to know, but I was looking for you,” Negan told you.
“Sir?” you quirked an eyebrow.
The grin spread wider across his face, and he ran his tongue over his bottom lip, stepping mere inches from you,“You know I love it when you call me,Sir.”
Your eyes did briefly drop from his eyes to his mouth before you cracked and laughed shoving him playfully, “You’re fuckin’ nasty.”
“You fuckin’ love it,” he countered laughing, “That’s why you did it.”
“Maybe,” you smirked at him, before becoming a little more serious, “So what’s up?”
“Come on Darlin’, walk with me,” he gestured.
You nodded, “Anderson, take over for me,” you called out to a small yet muscular unassuming blonde haired blue eyed kid.
“Ma’am, Yes, Ma’am,” you liked him, he’d been in the Army, but nobody’s perfect. Negan told you several times in multiple colorful ways that the boy was enamored with you. You trusted him, he’d often teach them in your stead. You didn’t even have to look back as you followed Negan out.
“I think he listens to you faster than he listens to me,” Negan snorted, as you fell into step next to him “Got that boy on a leash.”
You suspected the reason he screwed with you so much about him was because he was jealous. You didn’t poke fun of him about that too much, you didn’t want him to take it out on Anderson.
“What the fuck are you talking about Negan? I got you on that same leash,” you smirked wide.
“Excuse the fuck outta me?” Negan stopped and pivoted in front of you. There was a half smile on his face and his head tilted to the side. Most people would be afraid of that look from him.
“Did I stutter?” you challenged.
“Girl, don’t make me put you over my knee,” he snorted.
You rolled your eyes, “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
“Anytime you want, all you gotta do is say so,” He grinned and as you walked out of eyeshot of the others he put arm around your shoulders, “Simon found a new settlement about ten miles Northwest of here, he said they all seemed very...accommodating...too accommodating, we’re going to pay them a visit, hand pick me a team and you and Simon are with me.”
You nodded, suppressing an annoyed eye roll. You weren’t a fan of Simon, Simon was...well...creepy to put in bluntly. Something about him just set you completely of kilter. He always had a predatory look in his eyes when he looked at you. You tolerated him because Negan trusted him. That was the only reason that and technically Simon was higher ranking than you, technically. You got away with a lot more than most people did with Negan. You knew it, Simon knew it, everyone knew it, not everyone was happy about it either, Simon included.
“Work, work work,” you said dramatically.
“Well, if you’d stop fuckin’ around and marry me you wouldn’t have to work,” he said as a matter of factly.
You rolled your eyes, time and time again he brought it up, sometimes in a light hearted way, sometimes in a very serious way, “But I do like to get my hands dirty,” you replied, “And it would be SUCH a waste for me to sit around and be useless all day,I’m not really that kinda girl Negan, you know it, and so do I.”
For a moment you saw him soften, “Naw, you’d never be useless.”
Sometimes you saw a side of him no one else did, the real him under all that arrogance and bravado. You also saw him the moment those walls went right back up when he realized he was in public. You quirked a slight smile and nudged him lightly but changed the subject, “How many people do you want on the team?”
“Ten people and we’re leaving tomorrow morning at eleven am,” he replied.
You nodded, “Let me get to work on putting together a team, and then a shower because I’m pretty gross right now,” you told him with a snort.
“Yeah, you are pretty fucking gross,” he smirked.
You shoved him and he laughed, “Shut the fuck up,” you couldn’t help but laugh too.
“What? I think it’s kinda hot,” he smirked wider, “I like my women dirty.”
“Yeah I bet you do, and I like my men without The Clap,” you shot back.
“Fuck you,” he replied immediately.
“You wish I would, but there isn’t enough antibiotics left in the world,”
He stopped dead in his tracks again, and once again he was blocking your path. This time his face looked serious, his gloved hand cupped your jaw, “One of these days you’re gonna start talkin’ to me with damned respect.”
You didn’t flinch, but you mirrored his serious look, “One of these days you’re gonna make me,” you replied.
A slow smile spread across his face, you could tell he wasn’t serious. He almost never was with you. There were times when you pushed his buttons the wrong way. It was usually when you put yourself in danger or when he was already in a shit mood and you challenged something he said, “Maybe I fuckin’ will,” the back of his hand brushed over your cheek, and he had a particular look in his eye that made your heart pound in your chest, but it also let you know you needed end this conversation.
You kept eye contact with him, only lowering your head slightly to widen your peripheral view, making sure there was no one around before you pulled his hand gently from your face and wrapped your arms around him in a hug. His arms immediately wrap tightly around you pressing your small frame against himself. You clear your throat, “Negan...I’ve got work to do, wouldn’t want the boss to get pissy.”
Negan’s arms fall away from you, recognizing the comment for what it was. A gentle indication that he’d gotten a bit too serious. You guys teased and flirted but you weren’t going to be just another trophy for his shelf, another notch in his belt, but you wanted him, and he knew it. He also knew you’d already told him no, and he respected that, whereas most women he’d feel slighted and become intolerable until they said yes. He wouldn’t be him, however, if he didn’t test his limits from time to time.
“Nah, you definitely wouldn’t want that, that guy’s a fuckin’ dick,” Negan smirked a little but the light hearted demeanor was gone for the moment. Hurt, it was the only way you could describe it. He’d told you once that he wasn’t so upset at you for rejecting him, maybe a little frustrated, but not upset, he was upset with himself for not being able to be the kind of man you wouldn’t reject.
“Only because he wants to be,” you replied seriously, it was time to step away. This change in mood was another thing that could lead to an argument with him. Once he started to get genuinely upset he could turn into a real dick, just because his feelings were hurt. You already figured out it was only because he wasn’t used to having feelings anymore, “Tomorrow morning 1100 hours,” you confirmed.
He simply nodded his jaw tightening a little, but he was quiet now. It was definitely time to go before he verbalized whatever he was mulling around in his head. You felt like you should say something, that you needed to derail whatever train of thought he was having but you didn’t know what to say. You just quickly retreated back to your room letting Anderson finish up the training.
If you weren’t grateful for anything else Negan did, (which you were of course) the hot water was worth all the praise in the world. You washed all the days muck and grime off of yourself. You ran your fingers through tangled hair, grumbling in annoyance. You let it grow because Negan wanted you too, otherwise you’d have shaved it like you had in the Military, but honestly you didn’t know what to do with it and usually just kept it pulled up and out of your face, until Negan took pity on you and brushed it for you. You suspected he did it so you wouldn’t get fed up and shave it off. You got out of the shower and dried off, stuffing a comb in your pocket planning on making him deal with the nest on your head after you gathered a team together. Moreover, after you have Anderson put one together for you. It didn’t take long for you to talk to Anderson, he was rattling off nine other names to you already and you nodded in approval.
That went quicker than expected, you knew you liked Anderson for a reason. You hoped you’d given Negan time to get over his little funky mood. You sought him out finding him walking next to Simon from what it sounded like he was going over what they were doing tomorrow. You didn’t look at Simon even though you could feel his annoyed stare as you fell in step on the opposite side of Negan silently.
“We’re busy,” Simon said immediately. Negan’s head slowly turned to look at Simon and quirk an eyebrow. He was well aware the two of you didn’t like each other. Your petty squabbles annoyed the shit out of him you knew. You decided you didn’t even need to say anything to him, considering it looked like Negan was going to handle that for you.
“Simon, I’ve already gone over it with her, Who do you think is picking out our team?” he said carefully. He had to have known that would ruffle Simon’s feathers, “Is that a problem for you?” he said very carefully in a manner that certainly indicated that Simon better say no. Simon cleared his throat and looked straight ahead grinding his teeth, “No, sir, I’ll see you in the morning, Y/N.” Negan’s gaze followed Simon as he retreated, and finally his eyes fell back on you. He took you in a moment then smirked, “Your hair?” “Yeah…I mean if it’s inconvenient for you, I could always shave it,” you shrugged.
He shot you a look, his eyes narrowing, “Don’t you fuckin’ think about it, come on you little shit.”
You smiled up at him nudging him with your shoulder as he lead you to his room, “But me and Regina could have matching haircuts, we’d be twins.”
His head swiveled to you his eyebrows raising up high, “You’d have to do a lot of Meth before you ever looked like Regina.” You choked on air as he held the door open for you, reaching out to smack his arm, “That’s fuckin’ terrible.” Negan grinned wide moving to pour a few drinks before he held out his hand. You produced the comb for him and sat down in a chair. He put a drink in your hand and set to work on your hair.
“You know if you’d stop leaving your hair pulled back in a fucking bun it wouldn’t tangle like this,” he bitched. Surprisingly though, he always gently combed through your hair like he’d done it thousands of times.
Originally it had been a joke. Negan bitched at you for keeping your hair so short, and you told him you’d only let it grow if he was the one brushing it. You didn’t expect him to agree. You couldn’t back out after that, you tried but he held you to those words. You’d like to think you didn’t know why you even took into consideration his opinions on your appearance, however, you know why you did. You valued his opinion a little too much sometimes. In the process of growing out your hair, in that awkward faze in between your hair being too short to be pulled back but just long enough to stick out awkwardly from under a hat, Negan had teased you about it. It took him a good three hours to sweet talk you out of shaving it all off again. He kept his mouth shut about that awkward faze after that. The first time he brushed the tangles out of your hair you were surprised at how deftly his hands worked. He was oddly gentle. You’d asked him why it seemed like he’d done this before and he simply answered that he had. It took you awhile to figure it out. He’d once told you about his wife Lucille, he was drunk...you thought you were probably the only one to see him absolutely shit faced nowadays. You realized though, he probably had combed out Lucille’s hair for her when she was too sick to do it herself. That was when you realized it was more intimate of an act than it would seem. You closed your eyes humming contently, it was the only thing you liked about having your hair longer. You liked your hair being played with. Before you realized it he was running his hands through your hair. You didn’t realize what he was doing until you felt the braid hit your shoulder. You tilted your head back to look up at him and he shrugged in response, you in turn also shrugged and drained the liquid in the glass. He refilled it as soon as it hit the table.
This went on for a while, you two drank and passed stories back and forth.
“Private Abrams, man, good kid, a lot of potential, I remember this, this one time we were in Afghanistan, we were just escorting some supplies and we were waiting for it to be unloaded and suddenly he turned to me and he goes, Hey, Sarge, is there something on my back? And he turns...and I swear to God, it’s the biggest Camel spider I have ever seen...have you seen those fuckers?”
Negan was leaning forward listening to you talk, the barest hint of a smile on his face. You were trashed, he wasn’t too drunk, perhaps a little tipsy. It wasn’t because you couldn’t hold your liquor, you in fact could drink a grizzly under the table. Negan didn’t often get too drunk because in his position it was dangerous, if he was drunk, you were sober. He trusted you enough to be drunk around you.
“Can’t say that I have,” Negan replied.
“Those fuckers, those...little demonic….big demonic shits...they’re these big ass spider things, and they used to tell use they’d eat us whole in our sleep, that it’s venom numbed the area so it could eat you, turns out it wasn’t true, but back then we believed that shit,” you explained your words a bit rambly and slurred, “This one was about...eight inches wide, just chilling on him, he was in the shade, it really just wanted to keep cool, but like you know then I thought it wanted to eat his face off, and I didn’t want to freak him out so I shook my head and was like ‘noooo’ there’s nothin’ on you man, Bless his heart he believed me, and I waited for a bit, because the thing wasn’t moving, I pulled out my knife and slowly reached out when he wasn’t looking and flung the fucker off his back,” you were laughing now, “I swear to God, he jumped up about five feet off the ground and clung to the back of the supply truck screaming like an elementary schooler, so it runs towards me, and he’s trying to aim his rifle at it while he’s holding onto the truck and I’m shouting at him telling him not to shoot because I know he’s going to miss and hit me, Now my Corporal Kelly, he comes over to see what all the commotion was, and all he sees Abrams with his gun aimed towards me and immediately grabs him by the ankle and yanks him hard off the side of the truck, he hits the ground and Abrams is freaking the fuck out because now he’s on the ground with that thing, Kelly is tearing into him and Abrams can’t get a word in edgewise to explain. The spider had ran towards Kelly now, trying to get into someone’s shadow, and now Abrams is pointing and I swear he was hyperventilating, and the Corporal turns sees what he’s pointing at, picks the damned thing up by one of it’s legs and drops the bitch onto the Private. He practically shit himself, and then passed out. Kelly was a bit of a dick, almost always good to me but...argued a lot, if he wasn’t such a damned fine Marine, I would have had his ass for it but...he was good at what he did.”
He fed you more liquor and as he offered you took it. He only stopped offering when you drunkenly ended up in his lap, straddling his hips. His breathing was strained, and his resolve was tested, as you nuzzled and kissed at his neck. Drunk you thought it was a marvelous idea to sleep with Negan. Much to his credit, he lifted you from his lap after a few moments and set you back on your feet.
“Now any other time, I’d take you up on that offer, Y/N you know that…” he muttered.
There were very few women he respected enough to turn down the offer. Especially when he very clearly wanted to. Drunk you however, was insulted.
“Oh suuuurreee,” you slurred out, “Talkin’ all this shit, and when it comes down to it you pussy out,” you narrowed your eyes at him.
Negan drew in a deep breath and let it out again, his jaw tightening, “Y/N, you need to go to bed.”
“All this talk about marriage you only want to get in my pants anyway, so put your money where your mouth is,” you shoved at his arm.
Had you been sober you’d have seen the mounting irritation but he held his temper, “Now you know damn well that’s not the only reason I wanna marry you,” he moved towards you, “Come on, you need to sleep it off, I’ll put you in my bed.”
You drew away from him, your eyes narrowing at him as if he’d insulted your ancestors, unable to see at the moment how respectful he was actually being, “Oh really? Why else huh? Same reason why you married all those other bitches, so you could screw them and no one else could.”
You woke up in a cold sweat feeling like you’d been hit by a Mack Truck. Your head throbbed, your stomach rolled and the room spun. You eyed your clock, it was eight am. There were a few other concerning things you noticed. You hadn’t a clue how you got back to your room, you were missing your pants but still wore the same shirt and you were sore. You felt like you’d had unnecessarily rough sex. Suddenly you were mortified, you couldn’t remember but apparently at some point you managed to break Negan’s resolve. You sighed, it certainly wasn’t how you’d have wanted it to happen if it were to.
You stumbled into the bathroom, tugging off your shirt but catching your reflection in the mirror you froze. You had bruises around your neck and along one of your right collar bone. You looked down at yourself and found bruising along your wrists and thighs. You frowned filling the tub up with hot water, you still had time for a nice soak in the bathtub to soothe your aches and pains.
