#smsgfs

[shitmysleepingwifesays]

Keeping Things Going

Sleeping Girlfriend: [abruptly begins clapping] Me: What's up? SGF: I'm clapping for you. Me: For what? SGF: Keeping things going. #KeepingThingsGoing

[shitmysleepingwifesays]

Took It, Too

Me: “We forgot to get dish detergent.” SGF: “Okay, do I have that or did you take that too?” Me: “Did I wh-” SGF: “You did, you took that.” Me: “Took it where?” SGF: “I dunno.” Me: “Is that good or bad?” SGF: “Whhhaaaaaaaat?” Me: “Is that good or...” SGF: *waves me away.* Me: “What are you saying.” SGF: “Don’t push my buttons.”

[shitmysleepingwifesays]

Two of Them

Sleeping Girlfriend waves me over.

SGF: “There’s two of them.” Me: “Two of what?” SGF: “No, there can’t be two of them.” Me: “Two what?” SGF: “Three.” Me: “Three what?” SGF: “Nuh uh.” Me: “Three-” SGF: “You know the answer.” Me: “No, you know the-” SGF: “Only you know the answer stop it.” Me: “I don’t, though...” SGF: “...”