#snarkest

[cellphoneshooter]

|| @snarkest ||

“...you look familiar. Like someone I saw on TV once. You’re not some kind of reality show star, are you.”

[asscheeksofsteel-blog]

ツ

Send me a ツ to see a tweet my muse would post/make about yours

[cittagoldenoak]

@snarkest

Name: Noah

Age: 19

Housing: Y-6

Position: Shelf Stocker

Why would you like to work here?: What is there to say? I like books. I also need a job. Emphasis on need. You don’t understand. I think I’m the only person in my apartment who can get a job. Two of these people still play with cards. And one of them is a pony. (This part has been very heavily scratched out. You wonder why.) Needless to say, I have no one to mooch off of anymore. 

Anything else?: I’m heavily qualified for this job. I have a high school diploma and I’ve memorized the Dewey Decimal System. You’d also appreciate an employee who has opposable thumbs. By the way, if anyone mentions it, I have never been on a reality show. I just look like someone who has. I know. Weird. I’ll also buy several of your stock if I see something nice, which isn’t going to happen if you don’t hire me. Thanks.

        “I’m...not sure what a reality show is but I’ll certainly keep that in mind. But welcome to the Golden Oak bookstore and Internet Cafe, Noah! We’re glad to have you on board.”