Sicktember - You're Not Fine You're Coughing Up A Lung
Fandom - Set It Up (Netflix movie staring G/len P/owell)
Words - 2254
Author's Notes - Like many people I watched T/wisters and now have a slight crush on a certain man. As I result I watched this movie and this idea was born. For those not familiar with it, it's about two stressed out assistants trying to get their bosses to date so they'll lay off them but they end up with feelings for each other instead.
Hope you enjoy!
Harper was on her way out of the office when she decided to stop by Charlie’s desk. She wasn’t sure exactly when it had become their routine to gloat to the other about who was getting out earlier but it seemed to have stuck. It was later than she usually left, but Kirsten had a family thing all weekend, so she was looking forward to spending her time off as lazily as possible and teasing Charlie mercisly about it. She hadn’t quite made it to his desk when she heard a sneeze.
“Bless you?” she said, stepping around the corner.
“Thangs,” Charlie sniffed, rubbing his nose.
He was sitting at his desk, looking a lot more disheveled than he usually did. His hair was messy, his tie undone and there were a few scattered tissues next to him.
“Hey, you okay?” Harper asked.
In the few weeks they’d been working together Harper had never seen Charlie anything other than immaculately dressed. He always wore a suit, combed his hair, and his desk was usually so pristine that it looked like it belonged in an Ikea showroom. Unlike Harper’s, which was in a constant state of chaos.
“I’ll live,” he sniffed thickly.
“Have you got that cold all of the interns have been passing around?” she asked.
Over the past few weeks, a nasty cold has been sweeping through the building. No one could enter without hearing various coughs and sneezes. Harper was pretty sure she’d only managed to avoid it by pure luck where Charlie had been bragging about his superior immune system.
“Noh, I’m fine,” he said, though the congestion in his voice betrayed him.
“What are you still doing here anyway? It’s nearly eleven,” Harper asked.
“Rick’s at some executive party but I’ve got his apartment keys so I’ve got to wait here till he comes back for them,” Charlie replied.
“Can’t you leave the keys with someone else? Or have the doorman at his building let him in?”
Charlie shook his head, coughing roughly into his fist. “He doesn’t trust anyone else with his keys. He’d fire me on the spot if I gave them to anyone,”
“Well, that’s shit,” Harper said.
Charlie nodded, resting his head in his hands. It made Harper feel weird just looking at him. She’d never once seen him so quiet and just unlike himself. It kind of unnerved her. This wasn’t her usual Charlie, this wasn’t their routine and she felt lost without it.
He turned away from her and stifled two harsh sneezes into a tissue.
“hhuuhhHGITZHH… hhh-UHH-GITZT…Ugh.” he groaned, blowing his steadily reddening nose.
“Bless you!”
Harper remembered coming into work with a nasty cold once and Kirsten had taken one look at her and sent her home. It seemed Rick was not as nice or even observant. Harper guessed that he wouldn’t even have noticed that Charlie was sick unless he passed out at his feet.
“Come on, let’s get you somewhere more comfortable,” she said, holding out her hand.
“I just told you, I can’t leabe,” Charlie said, congestion muffing his words.
“We’re not leaving the building, now come on,”
Charlie accepted Harper’s outstretched hand and stumbled to his feet. The break room wasn’t far but Charlie looked dead on his feet from the short walk. He collapsed onto one of the couches, coughing miserably the whole time.
“You really sound terrible,” Harper said, going straight to one of the kitchen cabinets where she kept a small stash of tea bags for emergencies. And this was definitely an emergency. Harper couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen someone look so sick.
“Well, I feel great,” Charlie replied as he winced at the pain in his throat.
“Here,” Harper returned with a hot cup of tea. “This’ll make you feel better.”
“Is it poison? I think only death would help,” Charlie groaned, taking the cup.
Harper couldn’t help but laugh as she took a seat next to him. Up close she wasn’t so sure it was just a cold. None of the interns had looked quite as sickly as he did. He was far too pale with a feverish flush to his cheeks and a glassy look in his eyes.
“How much longer do you think you’ll have to stay?” she asked.
Charlie shrugged, taking a sip of tea and coughing as the hot liquid stung his throat.
“Probably a few more hours. Rick is never one to leave a party early,”
“Are you sure you’re going to survive?” Harper asked, hoping she didn’t sound as worried as she felt. Her concern for him only grew with every cough and sniffle.
“Yea…” Charlie started before his breath hitched and he sneezed harshly into his arm.
“HUSHH-TEWW… HHHuhhh.. HITISS-hEWw.,”
“Bless…”
“No.. hhHHhhH… Not..-HHTTSH-tisw.. hh..hh..Done…hhHH-HSSHH-Eww.
“God, Charlie, they sounded like they hurt.”
Charlie just nodded and shivered violently. Harper then realised he was trembling with chills, clinging onto his jacket like he was in the arctic. He was definitely sicker than she’d first thought. She went to put her hand against his forehead and he tried to bat her hand away but had to stop to cough instead.
She felt the heat on his skin as he continued to cough. The poor thing, the cough sounded like it was destroying his throat.
“I’b fine,” he rasped.
“You are not fine. You can’t get through a sentence without coughing and you are burning with a fever,” Harper said, pushing some of the sweaty hair off his clammy forehead.
Charlie sighed and coughed miserably, leaning his head back against the couch and closing his eyes.
“I don’t feel well,” he mumbled.
“I know. I’m sorry,” she said, rubbing his arm.
She could feel his fever even through his jacket, which only made anxiety bubble in her chest. He was clearly suffering from what was probably the flu and he couldn’t even go back to his own bed. She so desperately wanted to take him home, bundle him up and sit around watching terrible movies together. Instead she’d have to make him comfortable best she could.
“Okay, let's get you out of that suit.”
“You really want to undress me now?” he asked lazily, opening one eye to look at her.
“Ha ha very funny. Now do it.”
Charlie attempted to glare at her but it came off like a grumpy puppy. She laughed and rummaged through her bags until she found her oversized blue hoodie.
“Here, have this. You’ll much more comfortable,”
He took it with trembling hands, stripping off his suit jacket and pulling the soft hoodie over his head. Somehow it made him look worse without the suit, like it was the last thing holding the mask of wellness in place. Now he just looked miserable.
“Thanks,” he said quietly, “You don’t have to stay, you know. I’ll be okay.”
“I disagree. I think leaving you alone would be a crime. What if you died from that fever and I wasn’t here to save you?”
Charlie tried to laugh but it turned into a harsh cough. Harper continued to rub his back as he coughed before the fit finally let up. He pulled his knees up to his chest and curled up at the end of the couch.
“Can I get you anything?” she asked.
“Death,” he rasped.
Harper gave a small smile and gently squeezed his hand. She wasn’t sure where all the physical affection was coming from. She’d never so much as held his hand before but somehow it felt right. He squeezed her hand back and returned the weakest of smiles.
“Thank you,”
“Try to get some rest, okay? I’ll wake you when he gets back,” Harper said, running a hand through his already messed up hair.
Charlie nodded and closed his eyes, falling asleep almost instantly. Though she wouldn’t have called in a restful sleep as even unconscious he still sounded terrible. She’d managed to find him a blanket in one of the other offices and he’d curled up in the corner of the couch, snoring loudly through his blocked nose.
Harper couldn’t have slept even if she wanted to. It felt all her senses were dialled up to eleven. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go, she wasn’t supposed to care about him. They were meant to be setting up their bosses not catching feelings for each other. He was arrogant and a try hard with no ambition outside himself, yet looking at him curled on the couch, sick as hell she couldn’t stop worrying about him.
Eventually, she heard the door to the office open and Rick’s voice rang out.
“Charlie, where the hell are you?”
“Charlie, get up. He’s back.”
It took a moment for him to register what was happening before Charlie was able to pull himself up. Even in the dim light she could see he looked awful, far too pale with sweaty hair clinging to his forehead.
“Rick’s back, come on.”
Harper helped him to his feet and he slowly stumbled back toward his desk, coughing harshly into his arm.
“Come on, I don’t have all night,” Rick snapped as Charlie retrieved the keys from his desk drawer.
“Here you go,” Charlie tossed him the keys without his usual enthusiasm and they landed at Rick’s feet.
Rick picked them up, mumbled something about useless assistants and turned to leave. “I’ll see you tomorrow,”
“No, you won’t,” Charlie said.
Rick, who'd already made it halfway out the door, turned around. “I’m sorry?”
“I said I won’t be coming in tomorrow, or probably the day after,”
“And why, pray tell is that?” Rick asked, annoyed that his assistant being at death's door was nothing more than a passing inconvenience.
“Imb sick,” Charlie said before breaking off into his worst coughing fit yet. He barely managed to stay upright as he hacked up his lungs.
“Come back when you’re not doing that and if you’ve given that shit to me consider yourself fired,” Rick said before storming out the door.
Charlie was still coughing, leaning heavily against the wall as he fought for his breath back. Harper rushed to his side and rubbed his back as he struggled.
“Small breaths, you’re okay,” she reassured him as finally the fit tapered out.
“What an arsehole,” Charlie rasped.
“You can say that again, though I wouldn’t. You sound like your one cough from death,”
Charlie just groaned and lent his head against hers. “Can I go home now?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Harper hailed them a taxi, surprisingly tricky at 4am in the city and they headed back. Charlie was so out of it that it wasn’t until the taxi stopped that he realised he was, in fact, not at home.
“This isn’t my building,” he croaked.
“No, it’s mine. I don’t trust that roommate of yours not to be bonking in the living room again, and I didn’t think you’d fancy another trip up the fire escape.”
“Fair point.”
“And plus, I have the best bed in the whole world.”
Unfortunately though for Charlie Harper’s building didn’t have an elevator so the trip up to the apartment was a slow one. He kept having to stop to cough or sneeze and by the time he made it to the fourth floor he was shaking.
“This bed of yours better be worth it,” he mumbled as she unlocked the door.
The apartment was just as she’d left it, messy and cluttered. It looked exactly like a place two twenty something women called home. There were half read magazines on the table, an unwashed bowl of ramen in the sink and Becca’s bra was drying on the radiator.
“Oh it is, come on.”
Harper’s bedroom was much the same, her bed unmade, clothes on the floor and a few dirty dishes on the bedside table.
“Go take a shower, I’ll find you something to wear.”
“Won’t your roommate mind?”
“Nah, she’s not here. She’s on a big date with her man.”
Charlie nodded, coughing a little and wandered off in the direction of the bathroom. Harper managed to find a pair of sweats she thought would fit him even if they were a bit short in the leg and left them outside the bathroom. When she heard the water running Harper got to work. She grabbed all the medicine she could find, made a fresh batch of tea and put the tv in her room onto one of her favourite cheesy rom-coms.
“What’s all this?” Charlie asked.
He looked a little ridiculous in the clothes that were clearly too short but the shower seemed to have done him some good as he was smiling.
“Stuff to make you feel better,” she said.
Charlie climbed into bed and patted the spot next to him. “You coming?”
“You know,” Harper said, joining him under the duvet. “This is not how I imagined our first night in bed together,”
“You think about that?”
Harper, realising what she’d said went bright red and took a mouthful of hot tea to try to hide her flushed cheeks.
“Cause I think about it too,” Charlie said, resting his head on her shoulder.
Harper smiled and kissed the top of his head. This hadn’t been the plan. In fact, the plan was so far out the window it was probably in the next state, but that didn’t matter. They’d found something in each other, they could count on each other and maybe in a not so short amount of time, love each other.
