Ship: Elriel from A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas
Summary: It’s been four years since Azriel ran away from Velaris and left behind everyone he ever loved — including the girl left standing at the altar. Now, he’s back home, but can he try and pick up the broken pieces of his life, or has there been too much lost time?
For my first day of Thanksvember, I would like to spotlight the very first fic I ever found on Tumblr! I honestly don’t remember how I found it, but I’m glad I did because it opened the door for me to find so many other great writers out there. I love absolutely everything Shelby and Tara have written, but this Elriel fic, while not complete, is a gem. This tears at my heartstrings in the best possible way, I can definitely read this over and over. I can’t wait for the end of this fic!
Summary: Aelin Galathynius has never really been into sports. Yes, she likes to keep in shape, and she works out, but watching people run up and down a field, trying to keep a leather ball away from each other? It’s always seemed a bit childish to her, and decidedly NOT a way for a grown adult to make a living.
Rowan Whitethorn has recently been drafted by the Terresen Staghorns, one of best teams in the EHL (Erilean Hockey League). And since he moved to Terresen from Wendlyn, it’s been hard for him to get more than 30 seconds alone from someone demanding a picture with him. Getting drafted straight out of college wasn’t exactly what he had in mind, but he’s not complaining. Until he accidentally meets a girl. More specifically, until he accidentally meets his neighbor. She seems to have no idea who he is and for some reason, that’s refreshing. But will she still want to be with him once he shows her the truth?
Light Up the Ice Masterlist
My Masterlist
Tara’s Masterlist
Co-written with @tacmc.
Warnings: language, smut - this chapter is 18+.
A/N: No tag list this week, still working on how I should tackle that bad boy. But enjoy and look for Chapter 12 later this week!
Rowan was fully aware of Aelin’s hand creeping up his thigh.
The radio was off and the two remained silent. All that could be heard was Rowan’s shuddering breaths and the intense beating of his heart inside of his chest.
At least, he was fairly sure she could hear it.
Aelin didn’t look at him, but that delicate hand kept slowly moving up and down his thigh atop his trousers. He looked over at her as he sped down the street, back to their apartment building. Her lips were slightly parted, her turquoise eyes wild.
He cursed himself for buying a manual car, that he’d let Fenrys talk him into the fancy, sports car, rather than the reasonable SUV he’d had his sights on. He couldn’t remove his hand from the gear shift, not on the city streets they currently drove on.
He wanted to tease her as they drove, wanted to feel if she was as wet as he hoped she would be. Twice now, she’d had her mouth on him, but he was yet to touch her, yet to explore what it took to make her writhe and gasp and moan.
Tonight, that would change in every way possible.
They had less than a mile to go, but it felt like far more than that. Every second that passed had Rowan nearly about to combust.
As soon as they pulled into the parking garage and Rowan brought the car to a stop, Aelin was reaching across the car and turning his face towards her, her lips crashing into his. She cupped him through his slacks, and he groaned into her mouth.
The husky chuckle that left her was enough to make Rowan growl, “We need to go upstairs.”
“You aren’t enjoying this?” She breathed, squeezing gently.
The noise that left Rowan was guttural.
“Keep on, be my guest,” he breathed, his lips brushing her ear. “But I’m taking you, one way or another. You decide whether that’s going to be in my backseat or in bed.”
She lifted a brow but made no indication of moving. Instead, her lips found his, yet again, and she was nowhere near gentle.
Aelin giggled into his mouth as he pulled her over the console and onto his lap, the horn going off as her back brushed the wheel, echoing in the concrete garage.
Rowan just pulled her tighter against him as her knees snuggly settled on both sides of his thighs.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, the kisses growing slower and deeper. Aelin’s fingers were gripping Rowan’s shoulders so tightly, he wouldn’t have been surprised to find small, crescent-shaped holes in the fabric when he took his jacket off. It didn’t help that while one hand was pressed firmly to her lower back, keeping her body tightly against his, the other was knitted into her hair, tugging on the strands.
Suddenly, Aelin’s hips jerked and she gasped quietly. She repeated the motion and the hand in her hair lowered to grip her hips, urging her to do it again and again.
Rowan felt like he was sixteen again, dropping Lyria off after a date and trying to get what time in with her he could before curfew befell them both.
But he wasn’t sixteen anymore, and the girl in his lap was not his inexperienced first girlfriend. No, Aelin was a woman, a woman who constantly filled every thought and whose face was the first thing he thought of when he woke up and the last thing before bed.
And there was not enough room in this car to do the things he wanted to do to her.
Pulling his lips from hers, he breathed, “Let’s go upstairs.” She nodded, and he could tell how frantic it was, how erratic her breathing had become. He tilted her chin up, her turquoise-and-gold eyes clouded with lust, and asked, “Are you already close, Aelin?”
Her cheeks were flushed, but he could see them darken. “It’s been…a while,” she admitted.
Rowan nodded, slowly, and said no more as they got out of the car and went up the stairs. Rowan’s car honked in the distance as it locked.
His hands cupped under her ass as he carried, he didn’t set Aelin down once.
Not wanting to wait until she dug her own key out of her bag, Rowan headed straight for his door, unlocked the lock, and crossed the threshold. The door was shut with Aelin’s back, which was quickly pressed up against it. His mouth found hers hungrily, urgently.
Her hands were under his suit jacket, pushing it over his shoulders. He shrugged it off, letting it fall to the floor. Rowan’s hips were pressing into her, holding her against the door, as he lifted the jersey off of her body. It joined his suit jacket, and Rowan’s lips found her neck.
Aelin groaned his name quietly, and something inside Rowan snapped.
Before Aelin could decipher what was happening, she was being dropped onto his couch, and Rowan was pulling her boots off one by one before roughly undoing her jeans. He tugged them off and his mouth attached to her lace-covered sex.
The moan that tore from Aelin was the single most erotic noise he’d ever heard.
She was so wet, so ready, and Rowan had to remind himself to take his time. If it had been a while for Aelin, he would make it all worth the wait.
She breathed his name and his shoulders tensed as the single word crept down his spine, leaving chills in its wake. Rowan’s lips pressed against her sex once, twice, then his teeth pulled the thin lace fabric over her panties and tugged, gently.
“Tell me what you want,” he breathed, his breath warm against her.
“Everything,” she whispered, her hands gripping his shoulders. “All of it, all of you.” There was a pause as Rowan tugged on her panties, yet again, with his teeth. “Taste me.”
He would oblige her, if for no other reason than the memory of the taste of her, off her fingers, had been on his mind for days. He could only imagine how sweet she would be straight from the source.
His fingers slipped under the waistband of her panties and Aelin lifted her hips, letting him pull the pale lace down her legs. When he pulled back, loosening his tie and tossing it to the side, he couldn’t help but run an appreciative eye over her body.
She had her bottom lip pulled between her teeth and one of her arms was above her head, clutching at the couch cushion. She still wore the soft pink, lace bra, but Rowan would make quick work of that later. Her legs were pressed together though, and with what he wanted to do, that wasn’t going to work. He tried to push her legs apart but she shook her head.
“Not until you lose that,” she breathed, reaching out and tugging on the collar of his dress shirt lightly.
Rowan chuckled, but didn’t protest. He pushed himself up on his knees and slowly unbuttoned his shirt, one button at a time. He watched Aelin’s eyes as he did so, watched how her eyes followed the slow motion of his fingers.
The second Rowan’s shirt hit the ground, Aelin’s legs spread wide.
He smirked, moving his fingers to the belt around his waist, removing it, before flicking the button of his slacks and letting them fall to the floor.
Aelin’s eyebrows rose as she took Rowan in, in all of his naked, muscular, tattooed glory. “I didn’t know you weren’t wearing underwear.”
The smirk on his face was one of distinct male pride. “Sometimes it’s just too constricting.”
Rowan dropped to his knees and settled himself between those legs, kissing the inside of her thigh, then the other.
The second his lips made contact with her sex, a quiet sigh that left Aelin. Rowan dragged his tongue between her folds and the sigh became a gasp. Her fingers tugged on the short strands of his hair, which only urged him on.
He gripped her hips, pulling her ass to the edge of the couch, spreading her legs as wide as he could. He gazed up at her as he gave her a long, flat lick, then another, and another.
Aelin swore she was going to catch on fire, was going to physically combust as Rowan devoured her. And when his tongue, at last, flicked over her all too sensitive clit, she cried out, and Rowan repeated the motion again and again, until she was muttering his name like a reverent prayer.
He didn’t bother feeling sorry for their neighbors as Aelin’s volume increased.
There was no vulgarity in her curses, no shame in her screams. She held nothing back as she writhed beneath him, was nothing but confident as her eyes rolled back and she fell into an endless void of pure and utter ecstasy.
She was completely and beautifully alive, and Rowan was lost in the image of her deep in pleasure.
It wasn’t long before her heels began to dig into his back, her screams became less intelligible and her legs began to shake slightly. Rowan looked up at her, groaning as he saw her head thrown back, her hand gripping her breast, her chest heaving.
Sensing his eyes on her, Aelin’s eyes opened and she looked down at him. Her gaze was wild, her eyes glazed and pupils blown out in her lust. Nearly none of the sparkling iris was visible. With his eyes on hers, Rowan sucked her clit between his lips.
And Aelin shattered.
Her hips bucked off the couch as her orgasm slammed into her and Rowan wrapped his arms around her legs, placing his large hand against her stomach. He held her down on the couch as he continued to worship her body, his tongue plunging in and out of her, before paying special attention to her clit again.
The noises falling from Aelin’s lips eventually became quieter and quieter and after a moment, the only only sound was her heavy breathing and the sound of Rowan’s lips kissing a path up her body. He paused at her chest, playing with the lace of her bra. Aelin’s eyes lazily opened and settled on him.
“Wow,” was all she said.
“Wow?” He repeated, quietly, licking his lips.
“Wow,” she said, one more time, softly, pulling on his face until his lips met hers. She could taste herself on his tongue.
Her body shuddered again in the aftermath, and she wrapped her arms around him with a soft, shaky laugh.
“You’re tongue has a ridiculous amount of talent,” she said.
Rowan only grinned. “And I’ve only just begun.”
“Is that so?” She whispered, rubbing her fingers through his wildly messy hair.
“Mmm.” The noise was an affirmation, but his lips had left hers and were back on her neck. He lightly sucked on the sensitive skin there. His teeth nipped lightly. “You have no idea.”
Her response was breathy. “Prove it.”
Rowan slowly pulled away, his eyes finding her hers, and the grin on his face was dangerous.
Before Aelin could react, Rowan had her over his shoulder, carrying her into his bedroom and tossed her on his bed. She giggled quietly, but didn’t have time to right herself before Rowan had flipped her over and grabbed her hips, pulling her up onto her knees.
His face was back between her legs, his tongue diving back into her sex and Rowan wrung three more orgasms from her, back to back to back.
When she was a quivering mess on the bed, her legs having given out somewhere between the third and fourth orgasm, Rowan trailed his fingers down her back before gently pushing one inside of her. Aelin moaned softly, and Rowan felt her tighten around his finger. He teased her with one more and asked, “You okay?”
She nodded, not saying anything, just enjoying the feel of his fingers filling her, working her, higher and higher again. She had never cum so much in such a short amount of time.
“Should I stop?” He asked, curving his fingers, searching for that spot he knew lay deep inside of her.
She shook her head, incapable of saying anything. To punctuate her reply, she tried to shift backwards, tried to urge him on, pushing him deeper, quicker, harder.
He pulled his fingers from her slick heat, and crawled up her body, pressing kisses along her back as he went. He leaned down, his lips against her ear. “What do you want, darlin’?”
She finally spoke, though her voice was high and breathy. “I want you to fuck me.”
“You want me to fuck you?” he asked, quietly, nipping at the back of her ear.
Aelin nodded, once, slowly, still trying to catch her breath.
“Slowly?” he whispered, gripping her hips and pulling her ass back into him.
“It seems you don’t do anything without taking your time,” she breathed, and Rowan’s grin widened as his teeth gently found the side of her neck.
“Is that a complaint?” Rowan grumbled.
Instead of replying, Aelin lifted her ass, rubbing it against his bare cock. Rowan took a harsh breath through his teeth and Aelin chuckled quietly, burying her face into his comforter.
While he looked like the picture of calm, his control was getting dangerously close to snapping. He needed her, and he needed her now. He kissed her neck one last time before sitting up and gripping Aelin’s hips. He pulled her ass up until she was on her knees again and he stroked his cock.
“I don’t have any condoms,” he admitted, placing a hand on her lower back.
“Don’t care,” she mumbled, pushing her ass back against him. “I’m on the pill. I need you. Please.”
He didn’t need to hear her say it again, didn’t need to be told twice.
“Rowan,” she pleaded, and he fell into her without another word.
She gasped as he slowly slid his cock inside of her. Rowan’s eyes fluttered shut and his head fell back as he pulled her ass into him.
The apartment was silent, save for the sound of Aelin’s gasps and Rowan’s quiet grunts as he thrusted into her again and again. He tried to keep it slow, to let her adjust to his length, to let her lead and listen to her body. His fingers kneaded her hips, and he glanced down, watching as he slid in and out of her warm, hot center.
“Fuck, Ace,” he breathed. He wanted to smack her ass, wanted to slam into her as hard as he could and hear her scream his name. There would be time for that later though. For now, he was thriving on the sounds that fell from her lips as he pulled nearly all the way out, leaving just the head of his cock inside of her, and slid all the way back in.
Aelin reached back and unclasped her bra, removing it and throwing it to the side. Rowan tracked the motion, wanting so desperately to flip her over and finally worship her breasts. He had yet to see them, but he had a pretty good imagination.
She looked over her shoulder, as if reading his thoughts before pulling up her leg and turning herself around. Rowan tracked the motion, watched as she fell onto her back and met his hungry gaze. Her wild, untamed hair was spread out against his pillow, her beautiful breasts on full display.
His eyes trailed down as he admired her body, then back up again as he thrust himself back inside.
She cried out softly, and Rowan lick his thumb before reaching down and rolling her pink, pebbled nipple between her thumb and finger. Aelin’s eyes rolled back in her head and he watched as her hand slipped between them and began to circle the sensitive nub at the apex of her sex.
The sight was almost as erotic as the sounds she began to make, her pussy clenching around him. He groaned, loving the feeling of being inside her.
And then she moaned his name.
Something concrete snapped inside of him, the tentative control he had over himself finally losing out, and he grabbed that hand she was using to play with herself. Pinning both of her hands above her head, Rowan laid over her, crashing his lips against hers, and his thrusts became harsh and quick and rough.
Aelin was groaning into his mouth and gripping his hands in her own. She bit his lip, and the sound that came from Rowan had her toes curling. Every ounce of her being was unravelling, and she suddenly lost all sense of who and where she was.
“I’m close,” she whimpered, throwing her head back. Rowan’s teeth found her throat, but his thrusts slowed, nearly stopping. He pulled almost all the way out and paused, nibbling on the skin of her neck.
She gripped his hair and tugged his face towards hers. “What are you doing?”
His lips brushed hers in a near-kiss. “You can’t cum yet.”
She tried to push her hips up into him, which only made him chuckle. She growled, “You’re a cruel, wicked man.”
Rowan didn’t respond, he only kissed the side of her neck, sucking on the most tender of spots. He palmed her breast as he teased her, slowly inching his way back inside of her.
It was only a few minutes before he picked his pace back up, his lips unable to stay off her skin, kissing, biting, licking. He rested his forehead against hers and asked, “Are you still close?”
She nodded, her eyes shut, nails digging into the hard muscles of his back.
He nipped at the tip of her nose, wanting her attention. Aelin opened her eyes and gazed up at him. “Do you want to cum?”
She nodded again, breathless.
“Say it,” he breathed, pressing a kiss to her lips.
“I need to cum,” she whispered, one hand threading through his hair, holding him where he was. “Please.”
Please.
That word falling from her lips did things to him he wasn’t expecting, and Rowan hooked one of Aelin’s legs around his waist. He pulled all the way out, before slamming back into her, repeating the motion again and again and again until she came with a breathy moan, clinging to Rowan. Her body went rigid, save for her legs, which were quivering, locked around Rowan’s waist.
His lips crashed into hers in a bruising kiss and he fucked her fast and hard until she came down from her orgasm.
Her legs were still shaking, but she had gone nearly limp against the mattress.
“Good?” Rowan asked, smirking as he gazed down at her.
She nodded, not opening her eyes. “Very good.”
He kissed her gently, sweetly, so unlike what they’d just done, and they stayed like that for a few moments.
She pulled away, and asked, “Wait, did- did you not cum yet?”
The grin on Rowan’s face was almost childish, sheepish. “No, I’ve, ah, I’ve got pretty good stamina. Can go all night. Can be ready to go again after about five minutes if I do, though.”
Aelin’s eyebrows rose. “That’s good to know.”
“Aye?” He was chuckling quietly, and began kissing her neck again.
She caught him off guard, using his surprise against him, and rolled them. He was flat on his back, while she straddled him, his cock still nestled inside of her.
“Shit, that’s…full,” she breathed, adjusting to the new angle. With a devilish smile, Rowan flexed his hips, making it twitch inside of her. Aelin gasped and bucked her hips, which had Rowan’s smiling faltering, a quiet groan tumbling from him.
Those hips moved slowly as Rowan’s hands ran up her thighs and behind her ass. Although Aelin didn’t take her eyes off him, Rowan’s eyes fell shut, his mouth having fallen open. A low noise came from the back of his throat, a noise that Aelin thrived on.
Her hands slid up his abdomen and rested, palms flat atop his chest.
He could feel her nails gently digging into his skin, and he gripped her hips, helping guide her as she picked up speed. Her head fell forward and his name was a whisper on her lips. That sound, those two syllables, had Rowan growling as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her down and roughly kissing her, and he snapped his hips up into hers.
Aelin tore her lips away from his as she cried out, and Rowan bit down on the tender skin where her neck and shoulder met. He continued to thrust up into her, as Aelin fell apart in his arms, the small cries and whimpers spurring him on.
“I’m about to cum,” she moaned, resting her forehead against his. “Please, please, please, I’m so close.”
Rowan grunted his acknowledgment and he realized he was getting close, too. The feel of her all around him, the weight of her body on top of his, her breasts pressing against his chest, had him seeing stars.
He rolled them, pinning Aelin beneath him again, letting his lips close around her nipple as his fingers found that sensitive nub at the apex of her sex.
She gasped. “Fuck, Rowan, please!”
The cry was the most erotic sound he’d ever heard and gods, he wants to hear her moan his name for the rest of his life.
He felt her shatter completely as her knees shook around his hips. He kept moving, kept pushing, until his toes began to curl and the feeling of utter ecstasy filled his core.
He breathed her name, his voice breaking into nothingness halfway through. A low groan escaped, and then another, as he pushed himself inside of her one last time. His body went rigid as he came, his face pressed into the crook of her neck.
They stayed like that for a few moments, no sound in the quiet apartment, save for their heavy breathing and the hum of the air conditioner as it kicked on.
Delicate fingers began to drag a gentle path up and down his back. Aelin chuckled as Rowan hummed softly, loving the feeling of her hands on his skin. He hadn’t pulled out, was still nestled deep inside her, and when he finally pulled back to look at her, he was once again floored by just how radiantly gorgeous she was.
Cheeks flushed, eyes bright, hair a mess. He had never seen anyone so beautiful.
Leaning up to press a featherlight kiss to her lips, Rowan whispered, “I am so in love with you, Aelin Galathynius.”
Her eyes softened and she wrapped her arms around him a little tighter as he kissed her again. She didn’t need to repeat the words back to him.
In light of both of our lives about to become very busy, @tacmc and I wanted to go ahead and let y'all know that there's a chance our posts may become very few and far between. Tara will be starting a full-time teaching position at the end of August and my baby will be here at some point in September.
We will still be posting our regularly scheduled chapters on Monday and Wednesday, and maybe even some occasional oneshots or surprise chapter updates, but please bear with us as our posts may start to slow down for a bit. We are still here, we are still reading every comment, reblog, and tag on out stories and we appreciate all of your support!
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @snelbz x @tacmc
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
Cassian awoke the next morning and snuck out of Nesta’s bed, careful not to wake her as he pulled on his jeans. He didn’t get far though, because as he took a step toward the door, his shirt tossed lazily over his shoulder, there was a sleepy, “Sneaking out without a goodbye?”
Cassian chuckled softly as he looked over his shoulder. “I wanted to let you sleep. Sun’s not up yet. I gotta get to workin’.”
The top sheet was the only cover left on the bed by the time they were through the night before. And it was currently draped low over Nesta’s back. She dropped her messy head back onto her pillow and mumbled what sounded like a goodbye.
He made his way back to the bed, pausing to brush her hair off her face, and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”
“I’m not getting up until it’s a reasonable hour,” she murmured.
He chuckled softly and he said, “Sounds good. I lo-.” The words nearly tumbled from his mouth, without even meaning to. He covered it by stuttering. “I’ll, uh, go into town later and pick up the materials we ordered for the stables.”
Nesta only nodded, already half back to sleep, not even noticing his near miss.
He watched her for another split second before hauling ass out of the little house and across the way into his own little cabin. Beau was instantly alert, staring at him with daggers in his little puppy eyes.
“Sorry, Beau,” he said, giving the pup a good rub. “I’ll come get you first next time.”
Beau quickly forgave him, jumping up to rest his paws on Cassian’s thighs.
“Let me change and let’s go check on the cattle, huh?”
Beau hopped down and followed Cassian into the bedroom as he changed, slipped on his boots, and took Beau out into the pastures.
It was over five hours later when he noticed the front door of the main house was open, as were all the windows. It was a beautiful day and he wasn’t surprised to see that Nesta had decided to let some fresh air into the house. He made his way up to the house, going around back to rinse the mud and horse shit from his boots. The storms had made the back pasture a swampy mess and he and Beau had spent most of their morning moving half the herd into the pasture closest to the house.
He opened the back door and froze, taking in the delicious smell. Nesta was at the stove, a large pan atop one of the burners. He rested his hands on her hips and pressed a kiss to her neck. “What’s for lunch?”
She leaned into him and flipped the sandwich in the pan over. “Croque monsieur.”
“I don’t know what the hell you just said, but I love the way you said it.” He kissed down her neck until he reached her bare shoulder.
She laughed and said, “It’s basically a fancy French grilled cheese, with ham.” She turned to kiss him and wrinkled her nose. She giggled and said, “You stink.”
He raised his brows before making a show of sniffing himself. “I smell fantastic.”
“You smell awful,” she countered.
“It’s called musk,” Cassian said. “The scent of a man.”
“It’s called shit,” Nesta laughed. “The smell of cow. And horses. Mixed with sweat.”
Cassian grinned. “Well, I’d shower but that would be a waste.” His work day was far from over.
“I suppose I’ll let it slide,” she said, sighing. “At least while I feed you.”
“I’m honored,” Cassian said, laughing as he sat down at the table while Beau laid by Nesta’s feet. “You painting?”
“Yes, I was hoping to get the living room, the dining room, and the downstairs bathroom done, but I’ve been working all morning on the living room and I’ve only finished half. So.”
“Want some help?” He asked, watching as she deposited the sandwich on a plate, then pulled two more out of the oven where they’d been warming.
She shook her head as she put the other two on the plate and set it in front of him. “No, thank you. You seem to have your hands full out there as it is.” She nodded her head in the direction of the back of the property and opened the fridge. She poured sweet tea into a glass and set it down in front of him.
He looked at the food in front of him. “You made me three sandwiches and you made sweet tea?”
“Is three too many?” She bit her lip as he took a drink of the tea.
He set his glass down. “God damn it, that’s good. Marry me.”
Nesta blinked, stared at him for a moment, then began to laugh, uncomfortably. “Okay, it’s good, but it’s not that good.”
“Agree to disagree,” Cassian said, mouth full of food.
She rolled her eyes. “Brute. Mind your manners.”
Cassian just grinned as he took another bite. “Seriously, thank you. It’s delicious.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, sitting across from him with a sandwich of her own. “Now stop talking with your mouth full.”
“Yes ma’am,” he muttered, still talking with his mouth full.
She smiled and ate her own sandwich. Nesta filled Cassian in on the plans she had for the upstairs rooms. He listened quietly, eating his sandwiches and nodding in approval or made suggestions occasionally, but always swallowing his food before speaking.
After they were done eating, Cassian volunteered to do the dishes, while Nesta made her way back into the living room and continued painting. He heard her phone ring from the other room and heard a one-sided conversation between Nesta and one of her sisters.
The conversation began very normally, with Nesta answering with a simple, “Hey.”
He immediately heard an elevated voice from the other end of the phone. It sounded as if she was yelling and he quickly dried his hands off on the dish towel hanging from the cupboard before rushing into the living room.
He found Nesta leaning against the stairwell, with the phone against his ear, slowly rubbing her temples. He walked closer and could hear Feyre through the phone.
Nesta finally found a break in the conversation to say, “I was going to call you tonight, but-.”
Feyre began to speak again, and Nesta tried to speak a few times before he heard his name. Her eyes flicked up to him, just as his eyebrow rose. She hung up a moment later and Cassian asked, “Everything good?”
Nesta sighed and said, “I hope you didn’t have plans tonight, because we’re expected to be at Rita’s at seven.”
Cassian blinked. “And Feyre demanded that through yelling?”
“Apparently she had a conversation with Elain...who told her we slept together then went out on a date,” Nesta explained, looking pointedly at Cassian.
He cleared his throat. “Oh, yeah, uh, my bad.”
Nesta snorted. “Well, can you come tonight?”
“Depends,” he crooned. “Does this count as a second date?”
She rolled her eyes. “No, we’re all going out.”
“Then I’m busy,” he said.
She laughed, quietly. “Fine. It’s a date.”
“Then I’ll pick you up at six-forty-five.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“Okay,” she smiled and turned to climb back up the ladder by the front door.
Cassian couldn’t resist the urge to smack her ass as he walked out.
Nesta was staring at her closet with a scowl on her face. Before moving back to the states, she’d sold most of her belongings. That included the bulk of her wardrobe. Now she was left with what would fit in two suitcases and a duffle bag, and after a month in town, she was starting to have to repeat clothes. She sighed and pulled out two potential outfits she hadn't worn.
One was a light pink dress with soft lace that framed her breasts. It was tight and short and honestly something Nesta never would have picked out for herself, had it not been given to her. The other was a black lace bodysuit, paired with jeans, but she wasn’t sure whether or not it was Velaris appropriate.
Who was she kidding, it was borderline obscene, but she looked damn good in it and she knew it.
She sent a short text to Cassian.
Don’t think, just answer. Black or pink.
The little dots appeared that showed he was typing back. Then they stopped. Then he sent Black.
Good answer, she thought, pulling it out of her closet and tossing it onto her bed. She curled her hair and did her makeup once she’d gotten out of the shower. It was weird to think she was more nervous for tonight than she was the night before, on their first date. This time, it wasn’t just the two of them. Now, they were going out with her sisters, with his friends. Tonight seemed more...official.
And it freaked her the fuck out.
She had just finished zipping her boot up when she heard a knock at her door. She checked her phone, noticing that six-forty-five had snuck up on her. She grabbed her clutch off the bed and hurried to the door, swinging it open to find Cassian, holding a dozen long stemmed roses.
Nesta stilled.
He held them out toward her, smiling upon seeing her surprised look. “For you.” Then he saw her and a curse fell from his lips. “You look...fuck. How much trouble will we be in if we just don’t show up to the bar?”
“A lot,” she chuckled, taking the flowers from him. “Thank you. They’re beautiful.”
She brought them inside and into the kitchen where she found a tall glass and filled it with water before setting the bouquet inside.
When she turned around, Cassian was right behind her, blatantly staring at her ass.
“May I help you?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest, which only made her breasts pop out more.
He slowly met her gaze as he said, “Yes, please.”
With a roll of her eyes, she was taking his hand and dragging him out the front door.
Twenty minutes later, they were walking into a packed Rita’s. Nesta’s eyebrows raised. This was much different than the last time they’d been here. This was more reminiscent of the clubs she’d avoided in the big cities.
“College night,” Cassian said, voice raised so she could hear him. “VU students get a free shot with every premium beer ordered until eight-thirty.”
“That sounds horrible.” She cringed, but was thankful that was only a little over an hour away.
Cassian shrugged. “She never has to worry about her well alcohol sitting. It’s smart, actually. Come on.”
They made their way through the crowd, bumping into bodies as they moved to the music.
“Your sisters are over at the corner table,” he said, putting his lips to her ear. “Why don’t you go deal with them and I’ll get us a drink.”
She nodded and as she turned to leave, he tugged on her hand. When she looked back at him, he gently cupped her cheek and pressed him lips to hers. Then he pulled back, winked and a smacked her ass.
She rolled her eyes and made her way over to the table.
As she scooted into the booth, Feyre and Elain paused the animated conversation they were having, both having taken advantage of Feyre’s VU ID card from the year before.
Nesta’s phone vibrated and she pulled it from her clutch, holding a finger up before one of them exploded.
I’m going to enjoy taking that off tonight.
It vibrated again.
Very, very, very slowly.
And once more.
With my teeth.
She texted back, watching him across the room as his phone was in his hand. He was leaning on the bar, casually talking to Azriel, but she saw the change on his face when he read her response.
My turn to surprise you with no panties.
She watched as he blinked and took a long, slow breath. Then he was typing away and a second later she received, Tease.
She snorted and shoved her phone into her pocket before meeting the interrogating gazed of her sisters.
Nesta waited, but when neither of them spoke, she asked, “What?”
Elain and Feyre both started talking at once.
“What the fuck?” Feyre asked, “Cassian? And you didn’t tell me?”
Just as Elain said, “He called me the other day and I got way too much info from him that I should’ve got from you.”
They stopped, and Nesta stared, and then Feyre said, “Bitch.”
“Are you two done?” Nesta asked, leaning back in the booth.
Elain nodded as Feyre grinned. “Details. Hurry. I give them less than two minutes before they’re coming this way.”
Nesta pursed her lips and gave them the condensed events, starting with their conversation in the morning, spending more time than was necessary on Emerie and limited detail on the sex itself.
Feyre groaned and said, “On the couch? Really?”
Elain looked at her, sipping her beer. “Says the one who let Rhys fuck her on the kitchen table.”
Feyre almost spit out her drink.
Nesta couldn’t help but laugh as Cassian plopped onto the booth next to her, sliding a cocktail in front of her.
Elain and Feyre’s eyes slid his direction.
He paused, bottle of beer halfway to his mouth.
“Why didn’t anyone make this big of a deal when you and I had sex for the first time?” Rhysand mumbled, practically falling on top of Feyre.
“Because you made it publicly known, starting the second after it happened,” Azriel added, pulling a chair up to the end of the table. “And it got really annoying, really fast.”
Feyre laughed, patting Rhysand on the knee, and Nesta said, “Can we please change the subject?”
The six of them all fell into conversations, flowing from one to another naturally, laughing and drinking and just enjoying spending time with each other.
“Baby,” Feyre slurred, laying her head on Rhys’ shoulder. “I wan’ dance.”
“Oooh!” Elain was already trying to pull Azriel out of the booth.
“Y’all go ahead,” Rhys said, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“Come on, Nesta,” Elain demanded, as Azriel stayed put.
Nesta hesitated, then gazed longing at her drink. “But I haven’t-“
She was pulled out of the booth, unable to stop her laughter from sputtering out of her mouth as she fell into the middle of the dance floor with her sisters.
It had been a long time since she allowed herself to let loose, to dance. When she was younger, it had never really been her thing, but as she grew older, especially being with her sisters, it was freeing.
The live band playing on the little stage was playing so loudly that she could feel the music thrumming throughout her body. She looked back at Cassian every once in a while.
He was watching her, intently, with a hungry gaze. She turned, holding onto Feyre’s hand. They laughed and Feyre spun her. Her long empty drink was raised in the air and when someone took it from her, wrapping their arms around her, she settled back into the warmth of his arms.
She moved to the music, the feeling of his arms around her intoxicating, fueling the warmth of the alcohol in her veins.
Azriel was pulling Elain towards the booth, while Rhysand dramatically dipped Feyre. Nesta couldn’t help but smile as she felt the calloused hands grip her hips and grind her into himself.
Her hair was dragged back from her neck and lips nibbled on her pulse point, smooth skin dragging along her own.
She ran her hand up the back of Cassian’s head, grabbing for his long hair that she’d known he left down for her.
Only to feel close cropped hair slide across her fingers.
She stilled, only for a second, before spinning around to meet Tomas’s humored gaze.
His hands reached for her waist, once more, as Nesta asked, “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Come on,” he said, above the music as she swatted his hands away. “Don’t act like you didn’t feel it when we ran into each other the other day, Nes. Dance with me. It’s just a dance.”
“I don’t want to,” she hissed, and went to move around him, but he stepped into her path.
“One dance,” he crooned, his hand grabbing hers.
But a hand had reached up to grab Tomas on the shoulder from behind him. Nesta’s eyes connected with Cassian's hardened hazel eyes, which were watching the back of Tomas’ head.
“I’m pretty sure the lady said no.” The words were almost impossible to distinguish from the music, the growl nearly as deep as the bass
“Fuck off, Nazari.” He shrugged, pulling Nesta’s body into his. “I wasn’t talking to you.”
She pushed him off. “No, thank you,” she said, trying to distance herself from him, stumbling into a table.
Cassian caught her, steadying her. He got in Tomas’ face. “Don’t fucking touch her. You lost your chance.””
A light sparked in Tomas’s eyes: recognition. “Ah, she's warming your bed now, is she?”
Cassian's jaw locked but Nesta’s eyes had narrowed. “Fuck off, Tom.”
But Tomas was looking at Cassian. “Out of all the people in the world, she found the trashiest bastard in town.”
“Leave,” Cassian ordered. His voice was low, quiet, but his shoulders were tensed.
The little smile remained on Tomas’s lips as he looked to Nesta. “When you get bored of him, my number is still the same.”
He walked away, but even as Tomas reached the door, Cassian didn’t move.
Nesta turned. “You know Tomas.”
Cassian didn’t say anything, didn’t look away from his retreating form. He only nodded.
Nesta felt her walls rebuilding. She felt the cold chill shoot up her spine. “How.”
Cassian’s eye trailed him as he left, then he glanced down at her, the disdain clear. “He’s the reason my roping career ended.” The music continued playing around them and he said, “I hate him. I don’t want you around him.”
Nesta blinked once. She could barely think. Could barely put two words together, much less tell him that she had no interest in speaking to or seeing Tomas Mandray ever again.
Instead, the single word that left her mouth was, “What?”
“I don’t want you around him,” Cassian repeated.
Nesta nearly wanted to laugh, but there was no hint of laughter in her voice as she asked, “And who the fuck do you think you are to tell me what to do?”
Cassian stilled, but his lips were tight.
“Fuck you,” she spat, the anger inside of her growing until her hands began shaking at her sides. “I’m not your girlfriend. You can’t tell me what to do.”
She pushed through the crowd, reaching their table and retrieving her bag and phone, unwisely tossing back the rest of her drink. She turned and found him nearly to the table as well, but was darting down the back hall, towards that glowing red sign that would mean her escape from bodies that made her feel too hot, too close, too tight.
She burst out the door and turned, leaning her back against the brick wall across from the door, eyes closed as she swallowed as much air as she could. The alley was empty mercifully as she caught her breath, as she reminded herself that no one was forcing her to stay inside.
“What the fuck are we then.”
She hadn’t even heard him come out, wondered if he’d come out when she did. If he did, he’d let her have a moment until she didn’t look like she was going to fall apart.
“Leave me alone, Cassian,” she said, face in her hands.
“No, I want you to give me an answer,” he hissed.
She didn’t bother looking at him. “Take me home,” she whispered, exhausted.
“Well which is it?” He asked, his voice rising. “Leave you alone or take you home?”
Tears sprung in the corners of her eyes, and she hated herself for it. She didn’t take her hands away from her face.
“We’re not going anywhere until you tell me-.”
“Just stop!” She yelled, her hands falling away as she turned to face him.
He froze, jaw locking.
The door opened and Elain and Azriel came out into the alley. She frantically caught Nesta’s hand and asked, “Are you okay?”
She held Cassian’s stare and blinked, looking at her sister and nodding. The silent tears that began to stream down her face rooted Cassian to where he was standing.
“Come on,” Elain said, voice soft. “Let’s go.” She began to pull Nesta away and Cassian reached out, brushing his fingers against hers.
She looked at him, and that softness he’d woken up to this morning, the light he’d gotten used to…
It was gone. And in its place was the raging storm she’d been when he’d met her.
He didn’t understand.
Wanted to, but didn’t.
Nesta walked away with Elain and Azriel, the latter looking over his shoulder apologetically.
He stayed put for a moment, mind whirling, as he watched her walk out of the alley and disappear around the corner before tumbling back to his own truck.
He felt confused.
Pissed. Frustrated. Upset. Hurt. But mostly confused.
“Cass!”
He turned and caught Rhysand’s eyes from the door. He and Feyre hurried to his truck. She demanded, “What the fuck happened?” Cassian didn't even have time to reply before she forged on. “I looked over and found the three of you in each other’s faces. And then that fucker left and she stormed away from you?”
“He was being an ass. Then I told her I didn’t want her around Tomas and she lost her shit,” Cassian mumbled. “I don’t know. I’m going home.”
Feyre reached out and grabbed his arm as he was about to pull himself into his truck. He stopped, and when he met her eyes, he was surprised to find her eyes soft.
“Don’t be too hard on her,” she whispered, even though from the look on Rhysand’s face, he knew enough about why. “She and Tomas… He… Just don’t be too hard on her.”
He didn’t bother to mention that he wasn’t sure if she’d even speak to him.
When he got home, he found her on his porch. She still wore that damn skin tight lace, showing every delicious curve he wanted to run his tongue along.
Every curve he had run his tongue along.
He got out of the truck and made his way up the stairs, his boots thudding with each step.
She sat on the top step, a lit cigarette between her fingers.
He leaned on the railing, crossing his arms, and said, “Didn’t know you smoked.”
She put it to her lips and took a drag, the end glowing in the darkness. She blew out a stream of smoke and shrugged. “I don’t. Just a nervous habit.”
He nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. He hesitated, but closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I think we need to talk.”
She nodded, taking another pull and stood, dropping the cigarette into a beer can that had been left on the small patio table he had. It went out with a sizzle.
“If I’ve…” he began, then stopped. He blew out a long breath before starting over. “If I’ve jumped to conclusions about what we are, I’m sorry.”
Nesta didn’t say anything, didn’t move for a moment. She stared at a spot on the deck for a moment before saying, “Nothing about tonight was about you.”
Cassian wanted to press her, but didn’t. He didn’t need to, though, because she continued.
“I didn’t realize you knew Tomas, it threw me off,” she said. “We used to date. For a long time. He was an ass. Made me feel….small. And then he cheated on me. That was almost ten years ago, and I haven’t been in a real, healthy relationship with anyone since. I don’t even know if I’ve ever had a healthy time relationship.”
Cassian didn’t say anything, contemplating just how much he should say. But this woman… this gods damned breath of fresh air that had blown into town, into his life and actually made him enjoy what he did again…
The woman that he’d fallen in love with… she deserved to know everything.
“I know.” She looked up from the deck and waited for him to continue. He sighed and closed his eyes, taking a moment before he went on. “You may not have remembered me from school, but Cauldron, I remembered you. I had the biggest crush on you, but when I found out you were dating Tomas Mandray, the only other header in our state that gave me a run for my money? The one thorn in my fucking side who only won because daddy bought him the fastest horse he could find?” He shook his head. “I knew that we never had a chance, regardless of the fact that you didn’t even know I existed. I could have introduced myself, I could have put myself on your radar, but what good would that have done? You were still with him.” Nesta stared at him unable to say anything. “And then I saw you in Guthrie.” He looked at her, looked into her eyes, letting her see the sincerity in them. “And I saw him make you cry. I knew it was none of my business, so I didn’t say anything. Rhys told me if I did anything to fuck up our chances at a title, he’d personally cut my balls off. We roped the first night, took the average. Roped the second, came up short by point zero four seconds. Still won the average so far, but Tomas was right behind me. Then on the third, I caught him running his mouth and bragging about how he was able to keep that side piece from you for months.”
Nesta felt like she was going to be sick. She’d never been sure, but she’d always assumed he’d been cheating on her for longer than she knew.
“So I beat the shit out of him, had my membership in the USTRC revoked and was told that I’d never rope professionally again. And I haven’t. I was turned away from every rodeo I tried to enter. So I gave up.”
Nesta stared at him, completely speechless. A thousand thoughts ran through her mind but they all sounded ridiculous. All she managed was a breathless, “You…” but nothing followed.
He looked up at her then, at her wide, misty eyes. They stared at each other for a moment, then she said, “You really did beat the shit out of him.”
Nesta remembered hearing about it the next day, feeling grateful at whoever gave Tomas what he deserved.
But never in a million years would she have thought it had been Cassian.
“You didn’t deserve to be disrespected like that, whether you knew or not.” His voice was quiet, still, cold.
She breathed, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He let his hands drop to his side and a frustrated chuckle left him. “What was I supposed to say? Oh, by the way, I assaulted your ex and had my dream ripped from me when it was within spitting distance?”
She didn’t say anything, knowing he was right. How would he have even brought it up, especially seeing her reaction to Tomas in the hardware store.
Her lips tightened but she said nothing. She should apologize, should try to tell him something comforting or reassuring, although that had never been a strength of hers.
Instead, she met him at the top of the stairs and laid her fingers against his cheek, forcing him to meet her gaze. And when he did, with eyes still half lit with anger, but dwelling with softness for her, she kissed him, softly, slowly.
He melted into the touch of her lips against his, his arms wrapping around her slender waist.
She pulled back, and he was shaking his head. “I’m sorry I got pissed tonight,” he breathed, brows furrowed. “I acted like an ass.”
“You did,” she agreed, and the chuckle that left him slid across her skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. “You were just trying to protect me, and I know that. You’ve apparently been doing that way longer than I’ve known.” She smiled softly and his lips turned up slightly in response, that anger diminishing with every second. “But… I can fight my own battles, Cassian. I’m a big girl and I promise I can handle myself on my own. Okay?”
He closed his eyes, sighed and nodded. “Okay. But only if you agree to let me step in if need be. I promise,” he began, his eyes sincere. “I won’t ever overstep my boundaries if I can help it, but if I feel like something is wrong, I’ll have to handle it.”
“You’ll have to?” She whispered, amusement lacing her tone.
He nodded, slowly, eyes bright as he cupped her face. “I care about you, Nesta.”
Words escaped her as she stared up at him, as his thumbs brushed across her cheeks.
She knew he wasn’t lying, knew he wasn’t saying it just to say it. She could see the truth of his words in his eyes, could feel it in his touch.
The thought terrified her.
But it ignited her, too, set her soul on fire, woke her up.
“Kiss me,” she breathed, pleaded, needed to taste him to know this moment, these confessions, were real.
So he did. His hand curled into her hair, the other going to her lower back, holding her against him, and his lips devoured hers in a searing kiss. It took her breath away and made her feel alive. There was so much he couldn’t say that he poured into that kiss and Nesta could feel it, could feel herself falling.
This man, this impossibly frustrating, amazing, complicated man, he had thrown her world off its axis. Had made her second guess a lot of things about her life she’d never allowed herself to.
And he cared for her, for some ridiculous reason that she was trying so hard to understand but didn’t. They were polar opposites, two people worlds apart. She didn’t care, though, didn’t care that they didn’t make sense.
Cassian lifted her up and her legs wrapped around his waist in silent acceptance. He carried her inside of the little cabin, where Beau looked up from his spot on the couch before snuggling back into the cushions.
Neither of them said a word, their lips refusing to be parted, as they entered his bedroom.
Her back gently hit the mattress as he laid her down, his body covering hers. Her hands were in his hair, framing his face, pulling at his shirt, grabbing his ass through his jeans. He was all she could feel, all she could, taste, smell, see, hear. He completely overwhelmed her senses, but gods, she loved the disorienting haze his kisses dragged her into.
She bit his bottom lip, just like she had on the football field, and he growled quietly. Pulling back, his hazel eyes found hers and they were intense and she found herself wanting to push him, to see how far she could go before he lost control.
So she leaned up, brushing her lips along his jawline. His stubble was rough, scratching against her skin in an intoxicating way, and she trailed her kisses down his throat until she found that spot where his neck met his shoulder.
The hand bracing his weight that was next to her head balled into a fist, the sheets and blankets bunching up in it. The hand on her hip tightened.
Her gentle fingers slid beneath the hem of his shirt, feeling the warm skin beneath. Those teasing kisses along the base of his throat continued, sucking softly, brushing her tongue against his skin.
His eyes closed, his lips parted.
Nesta wanted to capture that moment, paint him in that light for all eternity, hardly holding on, dwelling in her touch as she worshipped him, patiently.
Her hands slid up his back, just beneath his shoulder blades as her lips trailed down between the collar of his shirt.
A shuddering breath left him and he leaned back, pulling the shirt over his head and went to lie back atop of Nesta. Instead, she pressed a palm to his chest and took a moment to look at him.
He was a fucking Adonis in human form. Her hand trailed down between his pecs, across his abdomen, over the dusting of hair beneath his belly button, and finger followed the deep groove of muscle at his hip down into the jeans that were becoming impossibly tighter with every touch.
She looked up at him through her lashes, and dragged that finger along the waistband of his jeans, finding the button and playing with it before she popped it loose.
He watched, lips pressed together. Nesta swore he held his breath as she pulled down his zipper and pushed his jeans down past his hips. Cassian’s body finally shook with a deep breath as he pushed himself off the bed and onto the floor. Nesta rolled onto her side and silently watched as he kicked off his boots and pushed his jeans onto the wooden floorboards, but when he took a step back toward the bed she shook her head, eyes bright as they admired him.
She scooted herself to the side of the mattress before pulling herself up into sitting position, her long legs draped over the sides. She reached down to unzip one of her boots and toss it to the side, then the other, and she stood in front of him before trailing her fingers down his body, once more.
He was beautiful.
“You’re going to be the death of me.” His voice was rough. His fingers found her chin and when he grazed his thumb across her lips, she pressed the softest of kisses to it. When she heard his breath hitch, she pulled it into her mouth and sucked lightly, letting her tongue swirl around it. She looked up at Cassian, into his eyes, and she swore she was going to combust from the look he was giving her.
He removed his thumb, and though there was a ferocity in his eyes, he gently took her face in both of his hands and kissed her softly.
He pulled back and whispered, “Nesta, I-. Fuck…” His words trailed off as he kissed her again, nipping at her bottom lip. He pulled away abruptly, leaving Nesta breathless. He spoke in a rush, almost as if he knew that if he didn’t speak now, he wouldn’t speak at all. “Fuck, Nesta, I think I love you. And I know that’s insane, but you’re all that I think about. You’re the only thing I want, and I just-.” He dragged a hand down his face. “I had to tell you. I’m falling for you, harder and harder every day.”
Feeling breathless, her forehead fell against his chest. She closed her eyes, terrified of the next words to come out of her mouth. “I feel the same.” And she looked up at him, then, through her long lashes. “I love you, too.”
Four words, barely audible, even in the silence of the cabin. But the look in his eyes at those words was something so vulnerable and raw, with a hint of something almost like surprise, that Nesta could hardly breathe.
She wanted to tell him not to hurt her, not to break her heart, not to make her regret those words. But as he took that little step closer to her, closing what was left of the distance between them, she knew he wouldn’t.
He didn’t need to tell her, because he would show her.
A hand reached around and found the small zipper at the back of her neck, and he slowly pulled it down. His finger skimmed along her skin as he dragged it along her spine and a chill ran through Nesta. He undid the button of her jeans and Nesta held her breath, unsure of why she felt so nervous. Cassian began to work her jeans down, but when they wouldn’t budge past her hips, he cleared his throat. “I imagined this being much more smooth, but, uhm, I can’t get your pants off.”
Nesta laughed, quietly, as she shimmied herself out of her tight jeans. He watched as she pulled herself out of her lace bodysuit, until she was bare before him.
“Told you, no panties,” she whispered, and his answering grin had her toes curling.
“And I told you I wanted to take that off with my teeth…”
She smoothly replied, “Next time.” Cassian smirked.
With no warning, he picked her up and tossed her onto his bed, following suit and crawling up her body, pausing to taunt, tease and taste. He stopped at her breasts, unable to resist any longer as he took a peaked nipple between his lips, his fingers finding the other and rolling into slowly.
Nesta began to writhe, gripping his hair and tugging on the loose strands. The whimpers and moans falling from her lips were too much and he fisted his cock, stroking in time with the roll of his fingers.
Her legs were wrapping up around his waist, and she pulled his body into hers. She had to be closer to him, the distance seemed too great, too far, after the words they’d spoken.
“Cassian.” She whispered his name, breathed it into the night. He looked up at her, his lips falling away from her nipple, and saw the desperate beckoning look in her eyes. He climbed up her body, covering hers with his. He moved the stray hairs from her face before taking her wrists gently into his hands and moving her arms above her head, his fingers slowly intertwining into hers.
He pressed his forehead against hers, his hardened cock pressed up between her folds.
Her eyes remained locked with his as her fingers tightened in his own. “Make love to me, Cass,” she breathed.
His lips parted and a slow, shaky breath left his mouth, warming her own.
He slowly, torturously slowly, pushed into her, pausing when he was fully seated inside. The overwhelming fullness had Nesta breathing heavily, her chest heaving, and Cassian leaned down, pressing soft kisses to her lips. “Are you okay?” The question was no louder than a whisper, but Nesta nodded, eyes still closed.
She’d been with a few men since Tomas all those years ago. None more than a few times, as Nesta’s schedule was too busy for more than anything but a passing fling, but she’d never been dissatisfied with the sex she’d had, never been disappointed by the size of her partner.
She was ruined now, she realized as Cassian slowly pulled out and snapped his hips back into hers, for any other cock, because none could compare to the one currently inside of her. Or the man to whom it belonged.
He continued the slow, agonizing pace until Nesta began to squirm. He leaned down and kissed her, palming her breast, and asked, “What is it, sweetheart?” He never halted his thrusts, kept driving Nesta wild with each flex of his hips.
She was whimpering and groaning and writhing, and breathed, “Touch me, please.”
He picked up his pace, just barely, as his hand fell from her breast and slowly dragged down her side. Cassian pushed himself up on his knees, then, and pulled her ass onto his lap as that steady pace inside of her continued. His thumb found her clit and he circled it, slowly, as he thrust his cock in and out, his other hand gripping her ass as a guide.
Nesta threw her head back, her body flooding with that familiar warmth, and she didn’t try to quiet the moan that he pulled from her. One hand was fisted in the sheets by her head and the other replaced his, tweaking her nipple.
“God damn, baby,” he breathed, gazing down at her. Fuck, she was so beautiful, so perfect. Her full hips that he couldn’t get enough of grabbing onto. Those parted lips that drove him wild. But gods, those breasts.
Nesta reached out and ran a hand down his chest. He caught her fingers and sucked one into his mouth as she has before, biting down lightly. Her other hand had stilled on her stomach and she watched him with lust addled eyes. He gripped the other in his hand and pinned them above her head again, lifting his hips and roughly thrusting into her again and again.
She cried out, unable to form a sentence or even his name.
“You feel so good,” he breathed, fighting his growing orgasm. He wanted to bend her over his dresser, wanted to watch himself fuck her in the mirror, but she was so tight and he was so close.
A string of curses flooded his mind as his head fell back, his eyes closed, but only for a second. Nesta’s cries grew louder and he watched as her body tensed, her pussy clenching around him, squeezing his cock. He leaned back to get the perfect view as he grabbed her ass and pulled her into him as his pace quickened.
“I’m...close,” he grunted, voice straining. She was still riding out her orgasm, unable to speak, but acknowledging him with a nod. He kept pounding into her, watching the way her breasts bounced with her every thrust until his head fell back again and he grunted out, “I’m about to come.”
He expected her to scoot back so he could come on her stomach or her tits. He wouldn’t have even been surprised if she took him into her mouth to finish him off.
He didn’t expect her to tighten her legs around him and hold him in place. He didn’t expect the frantic nod she gave him when their eyes connected, question written clear across his face. He didn’t expect the quietly whimpered, “Please,” as he thrust into her one final time before his release barreled through him, vision going white as he came harder than he ever had before.
Cassian groaned as he came, filling her up, quick, hard thrusts continuing long after her pussy had milked him for his last drop.
He fell down against her, his cock still inside of her as his sweaty, hard body covered hers. She wrapped his arms around his neck as they tried to catch their breaths. Neither of them said a word in the silence as they clung to one another..
Cassian was about to get up when Nesta breathed, “No, just…stay here, please.”
He nodded, pressing his lips to her neck. He rolled them, so she was lying on top of him, rather than the other way around, and he dragged a lazy finger up and down her back.
“Shit,” he said, letting loose a deep breath. “That was the-.”
“Best orgasm you’ve ever had?” She finished.
He nodded, head sinking deeper into his pillow as he wrapped his arms around her tighter. “You took the words out of my mouth.”
One of his hands dipped lower, cupping her ass. They laid there in a careful silence, enjoying feeling each other’s body against the other, when Cass finally said, “Don’t you need to go…clean up?” He let his hand slip lower until he could feel their mixed essences dripping out of her.
He was still inside of her and she could have sworn that she felt him harden, just the slightest.
She shook her head, nestling into his chest. “In a minute. I can’t get pregnant.”
The hand on her back stilled. “Can’t? Or won’t?”
Nesta’s body tensed as his hand froze. She slowly leaned up to meet his gaze. “Can’t.”
She waited for Cassian to say something, anything, but he didn’t. Yet the hand on her back began to move up and down her skin once more.
She laid back on his chest and closed her eyes. “I was told years ago I won’t be able to have children.”
Her voice was quiet, and for once, she found herself afraid to say it. She hadn’t ever really wanted kids, hadn’t really ever thought about settling down and starting a family.
But when she said the words to Cassian, a little bit of a heavy feeling settled into the pit of her stomach.
Having a family hadn’t been in the cards for her before. If she was too busy to have a boyfriend, how was she supposed to figure out how to juggle a child and her restaurants? So when she found out at twenty-two that she would never be a mother, she didn’t even dwell on it, hadn’t given herself time to be sad about it, or think about what that really meant.
But for Cassian, the words were a blow. He’d grown up alone, in every sense of the word. Before his mother died, she was always working nights. She would be asleep when he left for school, and would have to be at work by five. He saw very little of her. Barely knew the woman who he’d laid in the ground before his thirteenth birthday.
He’d always dreamed of having a huge family, at least three kids, maybe even four. He’d even let himself imagine what their kids might look like, with his tanned complexion, and her striking eyes. But in a moment, that dream was gone.
“Please say something,” she whispered.
Cassian nodded, although she wasn’t looking at him. “Sorry. Just surprised.” He kept his voice quiet. “It’s okay.”
What else was he supposed to say? He loved her, still, and voicing his disappointment would just upset her, and what would erase all the progress that had just been made.
He turned her head to face him. She kept her eyes closed. “Look at me,” he whispered. She opened her eyes, and a tear slid down her cheek and landed on his chest. “I love you. Okay? It’s okay.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Why are you crying?”
She shrugged lightly and said, “I didn’t even think I wanted children. When I found out, I was in culinary school and I didn’t have time for kids, nor did I have a good relationship with my family, so I thought it was a blessing in disguise and…” She sniffled and closed her eyes again, as another tear fell. “Now, things are different and I feel...broken.”
Cassian let out a breath as he pulled her in closer, holding her tightly against him. “It’s okay,” he repeated.
She wiped at her eyes against his chest before burying her face into his skin.
They laid like that for hours, clinging to one another, Cassian telling her that he loved her over and over again, as if he couldn’t say it enough, as if he was afraid that she didn’t believe her.
Trying to get back into the groove of writing. I’m struggling hard with my creativity after having my baby, so send some prompts into my inbox to help try and jumpstart it!
