Hi Mom, you know how Bertholdt said "maybe he wanted someone to judge him" in ch99 about the man who committed suicide? I think I don't understand this emotion, why did he want someone to judge him? Is it possible that you could explain? I was also wondering if this was the same emotion Erwin felt during the crate scene. Do you think he wanted to be judged by Levi?
This is such an interesting question so I’ve been sitting on it a few days because it really made me think. What I’ve decided is that the inclusion of the hanged man story just before Reiner’s conversation with Eren in Liberio was glimpse into how all three warrior characters would eventually process the results of their actions.
Annie was the character who most wanted forgiveness so she presumes the man told the story for that reason. We see Annie express this later in chapter 127 when Jean mentions never forgiving Reiner for Marco’s death and Annie quietly replies “What about me?”.
Reiner was the one who dismissed the conversation initially as a waste of time, but later would be the one who most craved judgment. In that basement in Liberio, Reiner completely rejected any of Eren’s efforts to excuse his actions. He was at his lowest emotionally so a harsh judgement and death were the only outcomes be could see. I suspect that even as an ambassador for peace he never allowed anyone to express forgiveness towards him.
Bert would be the character who rejected both. He initially sought forgiveness during the clash arc when he tried to appeal to Connie and Jean about the helplessness of his situation, but in chapter 78, he acknowledged the futility of both forgiveness and judgement. In Bert’s view, the world demanded what the word demanded and he was powerless to fight that.
I can see how it might be interesting to look at Erwin’s confession and wonder if the desire for judgement or forgiveness was there, but I don’t see either being his motivation.
Erwin had already taken the effort to judge himself in chapter 76 when he reflected on his conversation with Zackley in the carriage. Being at his lowest point, that self reflection ended with Erwin accepting Zackley assertion that Erwin was primarily a selfish person motivated entirely by selfish desires. Erwin judgement of himself was negative. Case closed.
The crate scene was a confession of that, but remember that just prior, Levi had been looking for a loophole that would allow Erwin to survive. Erwin was explaining to Levi why he had to die, but confessing that he was unhappy with that decision for selfish reasons. Erwin already knew what he was going to do - he was going to be the noble commander - but the pain of dying without knowing the answers was acute.
In the end, Levi offered Erwin both forgiveness and judgment and I cherish Erwin’s small smile upon hearing his words. It was a classic “I didn’t know I needed this but...” situation, which results in Erwin’s sincere thank you to Levi.
So to answer your question “Did Erwin want to be judged by Levi?” I think the answer is yes, but it wasn’t conscious aim of the conversation. Erwin had already judged himself and found himself lacking. On the crate, Levi let Erwin know he rejected that judgment, that he saw value in Erwin.
Thanks for the ask, anon! It was nice to stretch my meta muscles a bit. I’d love to read other opinions on this so please feel free to comment or reblog if you want to offer a different perspective.
