#snowflake-dreams

[snowflake-dreams]

Im fucking breaking apart at the seems and no one fucking notices.

I cant hardly keep myself together, tears threaten the edges of my eyes fucking constantly. I feel so worn, so empty, so exhausted. I dont want this. I dont want to be here. I dont want to live this way and theres no fucking way out.

Its all guilt, its all anger, its all worthlessness, its all static.

Im never going to go anywhere but down. Why have I kept fucking trying

[snowflake-dreams]

Ill be honest,

Im breaking apart at the seems and Idk if I can ever put it back.

I know everyone breaks, and repairs themselves through life multiple times but everytime I break the pieces get smaller. This time, each piece that hits the floors turns into such a fine dust - I dont know if ill ever be able to put myself back together again

[snowflake-dreams]

Time to get back on track for real😎 i still started this year 10 pounds less than last year, but I was 20 pounds light a few months ago.

We got this

[snowflake-dreams]

I've just started seriously trying to restrict again and it's working 😌

I'm almost back under 100. But yaaaaaalllllll I'm fcking struggling. 😭 not as easy as it was a few months ago

[snowflake-dreams]

I've been gone a few months because I ended up having a s. Attempt and have been focusing on health and recovery /healing

However I have also gained 15 pounds

And I'm 🙃 we back

[snowflake-dreams]

I have this block party thing for my bf to go to today and I am currently crying because I can't get my eyeliner to go on right and I ate yesterday so now I feel fucking fat

🙃

[snowflake-dreams]

I need to eat so bad

But I don't want to

Rather I refuse

It's only 40 hours. I'm done with work for the week, no more heavy lifting or running around. I can do it. I can do it.

I just have to do nothing.

[snowflake-dreams]

Literally ate 3 Linder candies and still puked them up

When he fights to keep another girl in his life, it's obviously because I'm not enough