#snstxt

[savage-angel-was-a-mistake]

-in bed-

Sasuke: Tell me your fantasies

Naruto: I've always wanted to be a dragon

Sasuke: No, I meant -

Naruto: But instead of fire I breathe jellybeans

[savage-angel-was-a-mistake]

Sasuke: *taking video of Naruto sleeping next to him*

Naruto: *sleeping peacefully*

Sasuke: *lightly stroking Naruto's hair*

-nice, comfortable silence-

Naruto: *snores really, REALLY loudly*

Sasuke: *stills hand*

Sasuke: *moves hand to cup Naruto's cheek*

Sasuke: *quietly hissing out* why are you like this?

[savage-angel-was-a-mistake]

AU headcannon where Naruto and Sasuke, high school teacher sweethearts, become internet famous from all of their students' posts bc of all the antics they get into

[savage-angel-was-a-mistake]

~at a bar~

Naruto: *slides up to Sasuke*

Naruto: hey babe

Sasuke: oh god, here we go

Naruto: you looking for the best sex of your life tonight?

Sasuke: no thank you

Naruto: then I'm the guy for you

~later that night~

Naruto: *laying down next to Sasuke*

Naruto: i cant believe that worked

[savage-angel-was-a-mistake]

Naruto and Sasuke: *arguing*

Sasuke: *has had enough*

Sasuke: I swear to FUCKING GOD, Naruto -

Naruto: you're swearing to fuck God?

Sasuke: what? No, I -

Naruto: that's a little weird

Sasuke: Jesus Christ, Naruto, I didn't -

Naruto: a threesome even? I don't think God is that kinky, though

Sasuke: why the fuck, Naruto. Why the fuck would you say that? What the hell is wrong with you?

Naruto: do you kiss God with that mouth?

Sasuke: We're getting a divorce

Naruto: We're not married

Sasuke: I'm marrying you and divorcing you immediately afterwards

....

~10 years of marriage latet~

Naruto: You forgot to divorce me

Sasuke: for FUCKS sake -

[savage-angel-was-a-mistake]

Ok, but consider this: Naruto always tries to make Sasuke laugh, and he does, but only a few times. But one time

This one time

Naruto catches Sasuke completely of guard and he laughs so hard he snorts and Naruto just stands there like "what the fuck? That was so cute?" And he always tries to get him to laugh that hard again and i just

Sasuke snorting when he laughs too hard is cute

[savage-angel-was-a-mistake]

The “Daddy Incident” pt.1

pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4, pt. 5, read on AO3, read on ff.net

Sasuke is the really mean English teacher. He seems almost robotic and his  unwavering eyes stare into your soul when you speak to him to the point that students just kind of slink away mid-subject.

Naruto is the very nice Calculus teacher. Everybody loves him. He’s as bright as day and his smile can warm the coldest of hearts.

Sasuke hates him (or so the students like to believe).

One day the students bring Naruto up in Sasuke’s class. Sasuke gets a little annoyed.

“Mr. Uzumaki let us get an extension on our homework because of the blackout. Maybe you should postpone tomorrow’s test.” A student, who clearly did not study for their test, complains.

“I do not care what daddy said, I-”

The room falls silent.

“I did not just say that.” Comes out as more of a “the kettle is ready” squeak than Mr. Uchiha’s normal, even toned voice.

Of course the class erupts into laughter as Sasuke covers his reddening face with his hands.

“I’m sorry Mr. Uchiha, I didn’t realize Mr. Uzumaki was your father.” A student teased.

A disgruntled sob of humiliation comes out of Sasuke as he walks to the corner of his room and hits his head on the wall.

The kids are laughing, it’s all over Snapchat, and Sasuke’s life is over.

[savage-angel-was-a-mistake]

Naruto: *to the group* meet my wife

Sasuke: they already know me

Naruto: I know. But now you're my WIFE.

Sakura: isn't he your... husband?

Naruto: *crosses his arms* no

Ino: are you trans

Sasuke: *sighs* no

Kiba: is Sasuke the girl?

Sasuke: there is no girl, it's a gay relationship. It's kind of the point.

Naruto: it doesn't matter bc he's my wife no matter what

Group, all together: WHY???

Sakura: Sasuke never struck me as the wife type

Naruto: it's a... well, it's a... a...

Sasuke: a competitive thing

Group: ....

Sasuke: I took his last name

Naruto: *very loudly* AND NOW HE IS MY WIFE! MY MISSES! MY MRS. SASUKE UZUMAKI!

Naruto: *starts sobbing*

Naruto: I've always wanted another Uzumaki

Sasuke: I know, i know *pats Naruto's back*

Naruto: *glares at Sasuke *

Naruto: wasn't expecting him to be such a dick, tho

Sasuke: what the hell do you want from me?