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Happy 1 year since Paris Night 1, the birth of the Eras Tour 2.0. Not short of jaw drop moments, that’s for sure

#the eras tour #eras tour Europe #what a night that was #not Taylor’s version #the ‘tangerine’ bodysuit #the costume change skit #the archer and long live out #but I can do it with a broken heart in #so savage #it was epic

yeah, so... er... ok, i'm just going to be blunt, i need advice. when i was a kid, i went through a phase that us girls like to call the 'not like other girls phase' (search it up if you want to) and in that phase i acted really bluntly rude to a lot of people (my friends, my acquaintances, etc) and i really want to apologize to them but i just don't know how. everytime i think of saying sorry, my mind turns up blank. how i can approach them? without being rude?

I have two minds about this. One is that it is good you have become self aware, and that it is generally good to smooth over any potential lingering resentment with one's allies, and the other being that they have clearly chosen to remain your allies through this, if you refer to them as current friends. I am certain they are aware you have changed, and many would likely not be expecting an apology. Social behavior is a skill like any other - you would laugh at the idea of reaching out to your childhood professors for struggling to learn sums, no? But I do understand that social errors may be a bit more...harmful than mathematical errors - which renders the memories of how you acted as signinifcantly more cringe worthy than any low-marks exam. So perhaps it depends.

All adolescents go through a phase of trying to define themselves. They try on different identities, so to speak, through varying interests, hair styles, aesthetics, and so forth. As we age and become more comfortable with ourselves, we keep the things we find have suited us well (dueling, the dark arts, an impeccable sense of style) and losing things that no longer fit (gobstones, poetry composition, hair).

All young people also try to differentiate themselves from others as they come into their own sense as a unique individual. This can be done rather dramatically (see: emo fashion, bizarre nicknames, starting a cult, being "not like other girls"). The good news is that people, especially allies, tend to be forgiving of their companion's phases of differentiation. Indeed, groups of young people tend to take on these traits collectively - it is how trends start, and why there were a bunch of youth ironically saying "rawr" in the mid 2000's. If your friends all adopted the same mentality during these years, is likely something you all can now laugh about.

If you have truly harmed someone during this phase - started rumors, stole property, cut someone out, framed someone for a wrong doing, or otherwise betrayed them, and are looking to make amends and/or regain their favor, then an apology is indeed necessary.

If you are not in much contact with this individual, a simple message on a social media platform may do. Make it sincere and brief (no 2 pages essays). Identify what you have done wrong, do not add disclaimers "but/I only did it because/ etc," apologize, and let it be. They are not obligated to respond - do not get upset if they do not.

If you are still in great contact with this person, you can slip it into conversation. "Remember that time we all went to the seaside! Ah, that was great. That giant hot dog you got from that vendor - oh, but I was a total jerk that day, dragging you down to those caves and traumatizing you with blood magic. That was super shitty. Sorry about that. Your next hot dog is on me."

I do hope this helps, and do not feel too terribly bad about your path to self discovery. No one starts out an expert at anything, and this includes conducting oneself and ones relationships.

Best of luck,

Lord Voldemort