Hiss Hiss Motherfucker

Tom Marvolo Riddle, aka Lord Voldemort himself is here to answer any question asked of him. Though keep in mind, he may try to kill you. (Mun/Admin is 25+) (Note: This is an askbox only blog, I do not reblog threads. Please see FAQ page for more info)

[asktheheirofslytherin]

Welcome to the Dark Lord’s Domain!

BACK IN LIMITED CAPACITY 12/14/2023

This is a short and simple pinned post for newcomers. Things in Green are subject to change. My full “about” page, which includes what content I will not post, can be found HERE. Happy Volding!

This is an askbox only blog. I find the ask format to be better for my personal style - less pressure, no threads to keep track of. 

This blog is for everyone. The LBGTQA+ community is welcomed here. We do not condone the actions and views of she who must not be named.

Getting Started: Some basic advice on how to set a scene and/or introduce an OC can be found HERE.

When Will my Ask Get Published?: Honestly, that's hard to say. The queue is currently set to post once a day, and my inbox average is 3 asks per day, so it truly depends on how active I am outside the queue.

This is a PG-13 blog. I have too many minors following me to be explicit. Innuendos, puns, and basic sex references will get a pass, but smut, very kinky questions, etc, will be deleted. (Though some of these are truly hilarious and I feel a pang of sadness I am unable to share them with the world)

Shipping: Go ahead, shoot your shot. *BUT* Voldemort will only show romantic/physical interest in those who are clearly about 20+ in age (except of course when he’s Hogwarts age Tom Riddle). Also, he’s picky. 

Tags: I tag all of my asks by the people and topics involved. Key categories include: “Shitpost” for random nonsense, “Advice” for actual real-world advice, and “OOC” for when I break character and speak to you directly. A full tag directory can be found HERE.

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[asktheheirofslytherin]

Yes I am quite aware of what you mean by "Disappear" but I am also determined to get a hug so gimme

Should I indulge this individual

No

Also no

No, but with an exasperated sigh at the end.

Absolutely not

Cut the small talk and get straight to the crucio

Voting ended onMar 22, 2025

[asktheheirofslytherin]

The people have clearly spoken. I shall give them what they desire.

Crucio!

[asktheheirofslytherin]

You wanna have my nose?

Since you are offering, it may be useful someday. I shall keep it preserved in a jar above my desk.

[asktheheirofslytherin]

You, me a sweet Seagrams Escape (Calypso Colada flavored) by the beach while listening to Lana Del Rey. We could spend our days like this while you forget about your failed career as a Dark Lord.

The beach? With this complexion?

I know you were attempting to get a rise out of me with the dig about my career, but the sheer fact that none of which you had proposed would entice me in the slightest has turned this from a credible attempt at an insult to an absurd parody I could not take seriously even if I tried.

[asktheheirofslytherin]

Hello my lord. Where do you get your clothing?

I keep a renowned tailor trapped in my basement.

[asktheheirofslytherin]

Ha ha ha ha ha! Guess who's alive and well, Riddle!!! >:D

Ah, if it isn't the infamous Floof.

I had begun to believe you had been vanquished. But of course, you have arisen and have been reborn. I admit to underestimating your powers. You were, after all, such a little Floof. Not terribly evil.

How has your journey towards...Floofdom...been? Are you any taller? I was often afraid I would step on you, before.

[asktheheirofslytherin]

Yes I am quite aware of what you mean by "Disappear" but I am also determined to get a hug so gimme

Should I indulge this individual

No

Also no

No, but with an exasperated sigh at the end.

Absolutely not

Cut the small talk and get straight to the crucio

Voting ended onMar 22, 2025

[asktheheirofslytherin]

My lord. How generous of you to finally grace me with your presence... where have you been?

Come now Bella, you speak as though abandoned. If you had truly required my aid I would have resurfaced sooner.

Where I have been is of little concern. Do just appreciate that I am returned.

[asktheheirofslytherin]

I'd like to ask if you're alright? We miss you!

Regardless, don't forget to hydrate, eat, and sleep.

I am not entirely sure what sleep is at the present time. I have pushed the boundaries of the human consciousness. I can hear colors, taste magic, see sound waves.

I am on the brink of an endeavor that sleep would only hinder.

[asktheheirofslytherin]

I LOVE YOU MY LORD. MY UNDYING LOVE FOR YOU SHALL NEVER WAVER, ALLOW ME TO SACRIFICE MYSELF IN ORDER TO BRING GLORY TO YOUR CAUSE FOR MY DEDICATION WILL NEVER BE MATCHED BY ANY OTHER, IT IS AS STURDY AS A ROCK ON THE COAST OF WHOM EVEN THE MOST TEMPESTUOUS OF STORMS COULD NEVER BUDGE, ILL PULL THE TRIGGER IF YOU LOAD THE GUN AND COCK IT MY LORD, EVER YOUR HUMBLE SERVANT,

🕷️anon🕷️

That was very loud.

Go on.

[asktheheirofslytherin]

I think it’s hilarious that you bribed your professor with sugared pineapples 😭

When looking to make a bribe, you meet the target where they are at. It is not my fault his price was a sickles worth of sweets from Hogsmeade.

[asktheheirofslytherin]

boops you

This is the rare occasion where I bring attention to my lack of nose.

[asktheheirofslytherin]

hey voldy im kinda bored and was wondering if i should attempt to imperio some students for my personal amusement

-a hufflepuff student

Are you certain you are a Hufflepuff.

[asktheheirofslytherin]

Did your killing curse backfire again, where’d you go cuh

You would think I would have learned the first time.

There is limited Wi-Fi in the forests of Albania.

[asktheheirofslytherin]

Hey Lord Voldemort, have met my father the Slenderman?

Slenderman can procreate? Is he asexual in the way of a sea sponge or is there a slender woman? Or does he breathe life into a selected progeny? A human chosen to be a successor of sorts?

I should speak with him. I have tried in the past, but he gets touchy about personal topics. Not unlike myself.

[asktheheirofslytherin]

between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson who would you think would win in a fight?

Percy Jackson. He is a demigod, correct? Potter is just a slippery nuisance with slipperier friends. If it was not for his mother's good luck charm, I would have squashed him like a bug at my earliest convenience.

As Jackson also has a few comrades in arms, and I assume a demigod would have better friends than whatever Potter is trying to be, well, it would be no contest.

[asktheheirofslytherin]

Do you have a favorite cartoon? I personally like bluey the most although I think that bluey herself is not quite as good of a main character as bingo would be.

Alas, I do not watch cartoons, not have much knowledge of them. I grew up before televisions were commonplace, not that the orphanage would have provided one even if they were. I make a point to avoid children's media.

Wait...Bluey is female?