[ Anonymous request: Happy Lowman / ‘I won’t take no for an answer.’ & You don’t know what love is.]
WARNINGS: NSFW. (Not smut.)
A/N: Anon didn’t want this to be smut, but for it to develop into NSFW, so I’m hoping I captured that alright. Anyway, You and Happy had been fooling around for a good while now, and when you try to take things a step further, he’s not too sure.
The water ran cold as you washed your hands in the sink of the en suite of one of the dorm rooms in the clubhouse. The other toilets were not fit for use, so Gemma had advised you to use the one you were now in. This was usually Jax’s haunt when he was away from home, but it had laid empty for a few weeks now, as things where good, for now, between Tara and him.
Drying your hands, you left the toilet and scanned the room quickly just taking in your surroundings before you left and pulled the door shut behind you.
“You in there with someone?” A voice asked, and you turned to see Happy walking towards you.
“No, Gemma said the other toilets were jacked, so I used this one. Why?”
“I was looking for you,” Happy began, looking you over as his voice became slightly hushed. He ran his hand up your bare arm before, placing his other hand on your waist and pushing you back slightly against the door from which you had just come.
“Well, you found me,” you acknowledged with a smile, as he grinned back, his hand now under your chin as he guided your lips to his. Slowly, and with an aching tease, he dragged his lips across yours in a kiss, as his hands found their way all over your body, squeezing and grabbing areas and making you whimper and jump slightly as he did so.
With his free hand, he opened the door to the dorm you had just come from and motioned towards it with his head. “Shall we?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Hap,” you sighed, and he kissed you again before drawing back but pressing his forehead against yours.
“I won’t take no for an answer,” he whispered, his voice tickling your lips before you practically grabbed him into the room, and over to the bed.
Lying in bed next to one another, Happy had your hand in his as he drew patterns on the back of it, kissing it every now and then. Your naked legs were tangled together as you both laid there in the darkness, caught up in each other. It all seemed perfect.
For a while now, you had been contemplating Happy and your relationship. Nothing had been set in stone, but everyone in the club pretty much knew you as Happy’s ol’ lady. He was the one who hadn’t made it official. And so you decided to take things into your own hands.
“Babe,” you began, turning on your side to face him.
“Mm?” He hummed, his attention still on your hand.
“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and, well, I l-“ Happy interrupted you by hopping on top of you and pressing his lips to yours again. Frantically, he kissed you, his excitement growing as he did so. You had a feeling he knew what was about to come from your mouth, and had done this in an attempt to stop you from doing so – but you weren’t letting him away that easy. “Hap!” You whined, pushing him back as he leaned up, staring down at you now. “I love you,” you said, plain and pure. Happy gave a look of defeat before falling down onto the bed next to you.
“I wish you wouldn’t,” he mumbled, placing his forearm over his eyes as he sighed.
“What? Why would you say that?” You asked, feeling a chill come over you from the rejection in his voice.
“I don’t do love, (Y/N),” he replied, his eyes still covered as he spoke.
“From me?” You asked, lying there with your arms now folded across your chest.
“From anyone, (Y/N). Can we just forget this happened?” He asked, resting his arm next to him and finally turning to look at you, but you weren’t done.
“So, I’ve just to forget that I love you, is that it?” You asked, and he sighed, rolling his eyes.
“Just forget that you said it so we can move on, and go back to the way it was before you decided to say it,” he argued, looking up at the ceiling.
“I loved you before I said it out loud, Hap, it won’t change anything.”
“Feeling it, and saying it are two different things, (Y/N). So, let’s just drop-“
“Do you even know what love is, Hap?” You asked, sitting up on the bed, and spinning to face him fully. He went silent for a moment, before looking at you.
“Love is putting your full trust in someone who can turn around and betray you as easily as the next person.”
For a moment, you sat there staring at him. He wasn’t wrong, so you couldn’t argue it, but you almost felt sad that he viewed falling in love with someone in such a way that it always ended in betrayal.
“Love is taking the chance, Hap,” you told him, looking at your hands as they clasped together. “And it goes hand in hand with trusting someone enough to lend them your heart.”
Turning away from him, you slid your legs off of the bed, and pulled your jeans on, before hopping off the bed all together and grabbing your shirt.
“Don’t go,” Happy begged, sitting up on the bed. You pulled your top on and headed for the door.
Bounding across the room, Happy, linked his arms around your waist, standing behind you as he rested his head on your back.
“Love isn’t a word that comes easy to me with women, mostly because it gets thrown back in my face,” he began, his voice a low grumble. “And it’s not fair, because if there is any woman who deserves to hear the L word from me, then it’s you.” You faced him and he smiled. “Just give me some time, ok baby?”
“Ok,” you replied and he kissed you softly, pulling at your top again.
“Come back to bed?” He asked, yanking your top off before you could give an answer.
“I’d love to,” you winked and he chuckled, before lifting you into his arms and returning to the bed in a much better mood than before.
[Anonymous request: Jax Teller / You Don’t Know What Love Is. & I Just Hate To Be The Bad Guy.]
WARNINGS: None.
A/N: Fluff, I suppose. Reader is a little bit afraid of commitment.
Standing in the doorway to the garage you watched as Jax and Opie joked and simultaneously worked on the motorbike in front of them. Looking to the pair you almost felt jealous of how close a relationship they had – one you had never experienced.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” Jax announced, finally noticing you. A smile appeared on your face as you wandered over, collected into his arms as he clasped his hands around your waist, taking a long look at you.
“You busy?” You asked, brushing your pelvis against his crotch in a way that no one else would’ve noticed. Jax chuckled and pulled back slightly, planting a kiss on your lops as he did so.
“I am, unfortunately, darlin’,” he replied, eyeing the bike and Opie for a second before his gaze returned to you. “You’re coming tonight though, right?”
“Tonight?” You repeated and Jax sighed.
“Gemma’s doing dinner. Remember? Whole gang will be there?”
“Oh! I, uh,” you stumbled, attempting to think up an excuse to get out of having to go.
Most of the girls that surrounded the club would jump at the chance of being anything more than an ‘outlet’ to Jax Teller, and it’s not that you weren’t appreciative of how ‘in demand’ he was to the crow eater that hung around, but you were happy being a free woman and wanted to keep it that way. However, you weren’t in denial of your feelings for Jax either, if anything they were what kept you coming back to him rather than seeking out anyone else. But you just weren’t at that ‘meet and become one of the family’ stage – oh no, at least not when previous experience and knowledge had taught you otherwise.
“Forget it,” Jax surmised, obviously picking up on your reluctance to attend.
“Jax-“
“Look, I’ve done this before, and yeah the chase if usually great, but we’ve been doing this for months now – and if a meal with a bunch of people you already know is enough to make you go running, then maybe it’s time I stopped chasing,” he sighed, looking both fed up and slightly irritated.
“Please don’t make me be the bad guy here,” you begged, already feeling guilty as well as feeling slightly afraid that this would be the last time you would see him.
“I’m not, darlin’. I just can’t understand why you don’t want to take things to the next level. We’ve done the hard bit, the rest should be easy, but you seem to want to make it more difficult than it needs to be – JUST A SEC, OPE!” He called, and Opie nodded.
“I’m…not used to guys wanting to take things to another level, so I usually finish things before they let me down.”
“So why am I different?” Jax asked, placing his hands on your arms.
“What do you mean?” You replied, already knowing what he meant but trying to buy time for an answer.
“Why have you stuck around with me for so long?” He asked, and you thought for a second. It didn’t take long to find the answer, it was there but you had brushed it aside for so long because you had a stronger voice that always reassured you that ‘alone was better.’ “I gotta go help Ope,” he interjected, snapping you out of your inner turmoil for a second. “Come to dinner, see all of us as a family and you will realise why it was worth sticking around with me for so long.” Jax planted a kiss on your forehead before he wandered back off to join Opie.
You left the garage in a daze and while at home, your mind constantly ran over the pros and cons of going against what you had been practicing for so long. Jax definitely had a point, and it had thrown you slightly. All of the other guys had been involved with you for only a little over 2 weeks, or so, but Jax and you had been going on months now – but it had been suiting you both to continue like that for so long, so why change it now?
As confused as you were, you turned up at Gemma’s on time for dinner and hastily rang the doorbell. Tig answered the door and smiled.
“Hiya, Sweetheart,” he said, holding the door open as you entered. “JAX! I OWE YA $20!”
Jax appeared seconds later with a smile on his face, before he stepped up to you, grabbed your face in his hands and kissed you softly for a second, while you relaxed a little into him.
“Don’t worry,” he began, talking low as he stared into your eyes. “I’m not gonna pull out an engagement ring, or anything. It’s just dinner.”
“I mean, if the rock was big enough I could be convinced,” you joked and both of you instantly relaxed before walking to the dining table to join the others.
Gemma greeted you with a kiss and instantly had you helping out to sort out the drinks – a distraction which you gladly accepted.
Standing away from everyone, you looked around the room and saw something familiar from what you had witnessed earlier in the day. The relationship that Jax and Opie had, was one that was shared across all of the people in the room. Everyone genuinely loved each other and cared for each other – something, again, you had been missing your whole life. But that was about to change.
One look at Jax across the room told him that you were ready to take you and him to the next level. You were finally ready to go all in.
[Anon requested: Happy Lowman / You’re no good for me darling.]
WARNINGS: Death, Murder, Mention of Corpses & disposal of a body, Mentions of blood.
A/N: It’s been a while. I hope you all enjoy this. My writing is a little off lately because I haven’t been doing it as much. This is pretty tense this one. The reader can’t face what she’s done and comes to several realisations.
The barrel of the gun was still smoking in your hand as you stood staring blankly at the scene before you. Your mind was flooded white with shock as you considered what you had just done. Happy’s hand on your shoulder shook you from the white and made you focus a little more on the situation in front of you. The situation that you had created. Feeling a little more grounded, the white faded from your mind and was instead replaced with the red that had begun to seep out of the dead man before you, covering the dry sand in a new crimson shade. Suddenly there was so much you wanted to say, but your mouth was still paralysed from the shock of it all.
“You did good,” Happy reassured, as he stood behind you, his voice soft and low as he leaned in close to your ear. “I’m proud of you.”
You mouth fell open slightly as you tried for a sound, but the body lying in front of you seemed to freeze all normal functioning again and had you freeze on the spot. You mind was awhirl with all sorts of thoughts; eternal damnation, the family of this man mourning him, the sleepless nights you were sure were about to come for you. That life; you had taken it.
“Y/N?” Happy stepped in front of you, finally taking the gun from your hand and lowering your arm which was now almost numb, and shaking due to the straining muscles. “Baby, you good?”
“He’s dead,” you began, finding your voice at last and staring into Happy’s eyes. The initial shock had faded slightly and allowed you to at least focus on something other than the corpse in front of you. “Hap, I-“ you began, crumbling as you fell against him, taking deep, jagged breaths in a panic. “I-I-“
“Shh,” he cooed, the gun falling from his hand as he pulled you close to him, pressing your head against his chest. “Breathe, Y/N. Breathe for me, baby.”
Happy pressed his lips onto the top of your head in a reassuring kiss. It was a hard kiss, as if he couldn’t put enough pressure into it to ensure that you knew he had your back, no matter what. But Happy always had it. No matter what. This thought calmed you a little as you closed your eyes tight and focused on the way his chest calmly ebbed against you, and soon enough your breathing matched his.
“I’m sorry,” you breathed, shakily, pulling back to meet his gaze. “I promised I wouldn’t be like this. Shit.”
“Some people are made for killing, others aren’t. This is a first for you, I had a feeling it would hit you the way it did,” Happy replied, bending down and picking up the gun. He dusted it off and placed it back in his holster before shooting a look at the corpse still laying on the ground in front of you both.
Suddenly your rational mind kicked in and wanted nothing more than to move on and get rid of the evidence quickly and efficiently. You were almost too rational – too rational for normality. Like your mind had turned on some sort of coping mechanism, and deep down you knew that these supressed feelings would come back to haunt you later.
“So, what’s next?” You asked, shaking your arms in an attempt to get the blood to flow better into them. Happy looked surprised, eyeing you for a moment before sniffing a little and looking past you to assess the situation.
“Get the tarp from the truck,” he ordered, and you quickly followed. Dashing to the truck, you fetched the tarp from the back and returned to his side as he knelt down next to the body.
“Here,” you offered, holding out the tarp and trying you best to keep your eyes from the body. Happy stood up and swiped the sand from his hands.
“Lay it out flat right next to him, then stand back.”
With one swift shake, the tarp opened out to its full size before you spread it out over the coarse sandy ground, keeping your back to both Happy and the man you had killed. Pulling it taught, you backed up to the body til your heels hit his leg. This caused you to quickly move out of the way, stopping to watch what Happy did next.
With a grunt, Happy pushed the body over before allowing it to fall onto the tarp – face down. The thud sent a shudder through you as you watched the body be manoeuvred like some inanimate, worthless object. You swallowed hard as Happy dragged the body into the middle of the tarp, before wrapping him up like some morbid roulade.
“Go back the truck up,” Happy called, and you simply stood there staring in a daze, realising that you weren’t quite back to your ‘rational’ self yet. “Y/N!”
“Sorry,” you apologised, shaking yourself from the thought while breaking off into a run towards the truck.
Jumping into the driver’s seat and slowly backing the truck up enough, you remained in your seat for a moment as Happy loaded the body into the back, pulling another larger tarp over the body to hide it.
“Move over,” Happy said, appearing at the window next to you. Obligingly, you moved over to the passenger seat as Happy hopped in, taking hold of the steering wheel and driving off to begin the journey of disposing of the body.
Remaining silent, you kept your eyes forward trying to focus on anything other than the rising nausea that was gathering in your stomach. You weren’t really in the mood to talk either, and Happy picked up on this leaving you to wallow in your own silence for most of the journey as you mulled everything over.
“Hap?” You eventually piped, Happy’s attention now divided between the road and you. “Does he just disappear now?”
“For now,” he replied, an honest truth that you really didn’t want to hear. The idea that this could come back to haunt you had been on your mind from the moment you set the bullet free from the gun. With one hand still on the wheel, he reached over and placed his other hand onto yours. “This will never come back on you, Y/N. I promise you.”
“How can you be sure of that?” You asked, swallowing hard as you, once more, mulled over the consequences you would face if this whole incident ever came out. “I’d take the rap before I ever let you go down,” he said, his voice now more serious than before. “This was my idea, Y/N.”
“The club wouldn’t be happy if I let you take the rap for something I did,” you replied, swiping your hands over your face in an attempt to both comfort yourself and wipe away the dewy sweat that was building up. “They’d hang me if I did.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time someone took the blame for someone they love,” Happy informed you, his eyes steady on the road as he took an unexpected turn in the road, to somewhere more secluded.
In what could be described as a swamp area, Happy parked the car and switched the engine off, allowing a calming silence to fall over the car. Your mind had started to focus on something that Happy had only just said. Something you didn’t mean to dwell on, but something that your mind hadn’t really considered before he had mentioned it. This murder you had committed; it was all Happy’s idea.
“You stay here. I need to tie the body up in the tarp, before I take it out,” Happy informed you and you gave him a nod before watching him leave the car – slamming the door behind him.
Hearing him hop up onto the bed of the truck, your mind drifted back to your previous thoughts. The man you had put a bullet in had been causing both you and the club trouble for a while. Before Happy had saved you from the dive you were working in, this guy had been one of the more troublesome patrons of said dive. He had laid claim to you in a way, and when he found out you were involved with SAMCRO, he decided to make himself known in more ways than one; beating up a prospect, setting fire to the truck they owned and sending pictures he had taken of you in various places around charming to the club to let them know that he would always be watching you. Clay had told Happy to deal with it, and in turn, Happy had told you to kill him. Why you? You deserved the kill, you deserved to be the one to take down a man who had terrorised you for months now. The way Happy sold it appealed to you in a way you never knew existed. Revenge had never appeared so sweet to you before – but he hadn’t given you both sides of the story. He never told you about the guilt you would feel, the horror of seeing a dead body, the fear of the consequences of taking a life. No, Happy had left all of that out.
“Hey,” Happy called, banging on the window from the rear of the truck. “I’m gonna drag him off the bed, you come get these cinder blocks for me.”
Clearing your throat, you left the truck and wandered around the back of it, attempting to avoid the wetter patches of mud that surrounded the truck. Once Happy had successfully dragged the man off the vehicle, you hopped up and grabbed a couple cinderblocks, taking them over to him and stopping to watch him tie them to the ropes on the corpses feet, and one more for the head. To your surprise, Happy fully walked into the swamp water, dragging the body behind him before using his his strength to push the corpse in before he left the murky water all together. In morbid fascination, you watched the body sink below the surface as a few stray bubbles popped at the top before the sludge settled again, looking like nothing had disturbed It at all.
Happy wandered past you and reached into the back of the truck, pulling a gym bag from it. Looking to him, you raised an eyebrow as he fetched a plastic bag from it and proceeded to undress his lower half, removing all the mud soaked clothing from his body and placing it inside before he tied the back up and placed it in the back. Another dip into the gym bag produced a clean set of jeans and boots, which he quickly placed on, again appearing like he hadn’t been wandering, unlawfully, in the swamp.
“That’s it,” Happy said, placing everything back in its place as he closed the tailgate and motioned for you to join him. “Ol’ buddy won’t be annoying us anymore.”
“So, we just go back and hope no one ever finds him?” You asked, folding your arms across your body.
“Believe me, Y/N. No one is finding him anytime soon,” he cooed, crossing the gap and placing his hands on your shoulders. Leaning down he planted a kiss on your head before snaking his arm across your back to guide you back to the truck. “Let’s go home.”
Back at the clubhouse, you watched Happy celebrate with the others as you sat at the bar, nursing a double whisky. As hard as you tried, you couldn’t help but push the thought from your mind that you had been almost cheated into taking a life. Looking over your shoulder, you watched Happy and the rest of the guys mock Ol’ Buddy as they mimicked the way he spoke before pretending to shoot him down again. Laughter then followed. Turning back to your drink, you swallowed it down, relishing the burn of the alcohol as it passed your throat.
“That’s my girl,” Happy cooed, and you turned to look at him as he raised his glass. “One shot and the bastard went down like a lead balloon.”
The other members of the club raised their glasses too, smiles on their faces like the pack of proud murderers that they really were. Turning back to your now empty glass, you stifled that rising nausea that had begun to creep upon you again.
“You good, baby?” Happy asked, appearing at your side and making you jump slightly as you hadn’t even heard his footsteps. You nodded and reached over the bar to pour another, smaller, drink for yourself. “I meant to say something earlier. I think you might’ve missed it, but I told you something real important.”
“Hmm?” You hummed, downing the alcohol again and bringing yourself to look at the man who had convinced you to kill someone.
“It begins with an L? Rhymes with dove-“
“Please, Hap,” you begged, not wanting to hear of his love for you. Now when you had sat there since you got back, trying to convince yourself that what Happy had done was to benefit you, and not just for his own sick pleasure. “I can’t.”
“You can’t? What?” He asked, confused as he placed his glass on the bar.
“I can’t do this now – or anymore,” you admitted, sliding your glass away from you. “You talked me into this, Hap.”
“Babe, you need to get over this. The guy was a freak – he deserved to die.”
“No one deserves to die!” You yelled, and the attention of the others was on you too. Happy stared at you, his eyes cold as he remained silent. “You-you’re no good for me. And, I’m no good for you either. I can’t do this killing thing. I feel like everything from today is bubbling under the surface and I’m going to go crazy if I don’t just get it out.”
“What are you saying?” Happy asked, the room still focused on the pair of you.
“Everytime I look into your eyes, I see him lying there. Dead. I can’t do this, Happy. I’m sorry,” you cried, hopping down off the stool and running out of the clubhouse, heading for your car and a little bit of space away from the club and everyone.
“Your girl seems a little unhinged, Hap,” Clay warned, sipping on a beer. “Might wanna sort that shit out before she get’s us all in the shit.”
“Yeah,” Happy sighed, cracking his head to the side, the consequences of a guilt ridden girlfriend now preying on his mind.
