virginity is a social construct
I did not lose my virginity until I was sixteen, within the first two weeks of dating my boyfriend. I was terrified as to enable someone to be let in into a part of me that was so sensitive, so susceptive of loss, so unriddled with the mystique of highschool and the pain of… well, everything. I had one piece of innocence left. A blamelessless, irrreproachability of a untouched vagina.
When I did allow for my boyfriend to leisurely enter himself into me, I tried to not let my breaths hasten upon the impact of the dreadful truth of me and my vaginal canal—it was my first time. However much that it did frighten me, I had already lost my innocence in every other status. Whether that be from the realm of possibility of having sucked dick, or having been doing narcotics, my life had been whiplash of my innocence slowly leaking through the small, covered hole(s) in between my thighs. I felt like it was the final piece of a puzzle that practically drove me off a cliff, I was not a child anymore, therefore I needed to pay the tax that came with it.
I’m-an-adult, And-I’m-fucking-scared.
The idea of losing your virginity, spectrually, isn’t a extensive deal. Logically, as a woman, for all intents and purposes, you mainly do not want to fuck every girl you see after your balls drop. Men struggle with the societal climate of masculinity at the hands of sex. Men believe that it will up their testosterone and make them very, very handsome. It’s an insecurity that has furthermore, ruined the human race. Penis in vagina, penis in mouth, and penis in ass, are three thoughts the human male has often. The other thoughts usually can be conjectured with a Pinegrove song, the bottomless pit of puberty, and the deep, unbridled sensation, that as a man, you cannot cry.
He becomes a chronically online, misogynistic asshole who feigns that being on forums makes him fathomlessly fervent then the average, not bigoted man. He makes up for his stunning personality with the dick pics he sends to girls he barely knows. If this doesnt change, in ten years, the poor sixteen year old boy will most likely lose all sense in his penis because he hates women so much and has practically jostled his frontal lobe with loathing, detestation, and abhorrence with everyone.
Socially, a man having sex is not as outlandish and atrocious as a woman spreading her legs and letting a loosely condomed Trojan enter her vagina. (...but, on the other hand, the male masturbation versus the women masturbation could be nuanced as a double standard, as well.)
But realistically, all a woman needs to do, for acceptable sex, is unfasten her belt and let a mediocre man shove his mediocre penis into her. She doesn’t need to do this:
Shave her entire body sleek that when he runs his unthinking hands down her body, he doesn’t feel a glimpse of Christmas past (hair)
Use an entire bottle of Tree Hut sugar scrub and Nair
Use her expensive perfume and coat herself in Bath and Body Works
Take a bath with 20 candles lit, reciting passages of the Bible for de règle innocence
Make spells with wax and herbs, making him feel attached to her like she’s attached to him
Give everything to a man she doesn’t knows
Watch porn with a slightly unhinged jaw to figure out how to moan and wail as to not make him pull out and kill her with a sword he has wielded on the wall, saying in Japanese “In battle, if you make your opponent flinch, you have already won!”
Sex is not something that you need to perfect on the first try. You don’t need to wear a pale pink satin dress in your sublimely pink bedroom and gradually bring your hand down to your perfectly flushed pussy and allow for him to enter. If it was up to me, I would’ve jumped upon him and shrieked my insecurities in his face, cry, and then drink soup with him in a hermit mentality, then left. However, sex is fantasized about for many reasons. The men see virginity as something to conquer, and the women see virginity as a way to birth a specimen of greed with his Lost-Mary-hitting-dad’s eyes.
But they also see it as an end. It isn’t. You are innocent, because you are naive. No, you do not need to sit on the bottom of your tiled shower, sobbing. Because you do still have innocence. As a human, you do.
You don’t disappear after having sex. Perhaps you bleed and are chafed for a few days afterwards, but a mysterious gust of wind, with all the other shameful adult men and women who decided to act on the animalistic urge to have sex, does not sweep you up and carry you to scary land.
You’ve just had sex. Thats it.
You didn’t lose a part of your adolescence that enjoyed frolicing in fields. You just had sex.
You didn’t fail your ancestors with your shitty taste in men. You just had sex.
You didn’t eviscerate your small, babbling self with lighter fluid and a ice pick. You just had sex.
Most of all, you didn’t ruin yourself. You didn’t do anything, in fact. You just had sex.
Virginity is a social construct. (the hymen isn’t a reference, look it up.)
And, it was created so long ago for patriarchal reasons and male lineage—why are you still listening to idiots who wrote idiotic books from hundreds of years ago?
you aren’t ruined. you just had sex.
