BINHI: Privilege and Oppression
I really enjoyed my BINHI experience because it felt like I was both going into my comfort zone while stepping out of it. I say this because obviously going to a new place, especially one so far as a school in Batangas is always going to be overwhelming when coupled with meeting new people, getting to know them, and trying to make the most of what limited time we are given—yet it feels comforting because of the familiar feeling of going to a community and establishing connections with them. This is something I learned to value in all my years prior to Ateneo because my old school used to be very proactive when it came to social responsibility; they would make us do PEACE Work, have Alternative Christmases and Balls instead of traditional celebrations, immersions and essentially instill the value of involving ourselves. In my last two years, I even found myself volunteering for the optional Service on Saturdays (SOS). It was just comforting to see that Ateneo has similar roots in community engagement. It was similar to my habitus in the sense that it followed the same program flow of interacting with the kids and initiating games. I also found it very easy to relate with the kids since they were very enthusiastic about going to school and my group had similar interests in the art activity we prepared. On the other hand, it was also different from my habitus because I know I’ll never be accustomed to speaking Filipino, regardless of the number of outreach activities I join. In addition to that, one thing I couldn’t help but notice was that the kids I interacted with had internalized their socioeconomic status and took it as a mere fact in relation to meeting all of us students. I’ve certainly encountered people who expect things of my materially, but they are never as blunt and straightforward about asking or discussing their status freely. Most people I interact with choose not to discuss financials or feel shy about asking for money/help/resources, yet the kids in our group kept asking for additional mamons. Although it was a simple thing, it slightly pressured us because we had to consider the possibility that if we gave one of them extra, we would need to give the others while contending with the limited resources. It was difficult to face a request like that and continuously tell them we no longer had any mamons when it ran out, simply because we weren’t used to it and didn’t want to exacerbate the implications of not giving in—the possibility of creating a divide between ourselves and the kids.
In a similar vein, I guess I did feel privileged when examining my context in relation to theirs. The point in the whole event that solidified that feeling for me was when Ms. Mars called them into the toy library and brought in the balikbayan box with toys. The kids tore it open with pure elation and were just so excited about the prospect of getting their hands on any toy—whether new or pre-loved. It struck me that although I remember being excited about toys when I was a kid, I was incredible blasé. I never felt such a strong desire for something that partly stems from something not being readily accessible. I am incredibly grateful for that now.
In contrast to this, one experience when I felt oppressed was when I used to go on cruises with my dad’s side of the family as a kid. More often than not, there was a kid’s area where you could sign up for activities and meet new people. I was a pretty shy kid and this wasn’t helped by the fact that everyone else on the cruises were either American or European. I felt sort of excluded simply because I looked different—I wasn’t fair skinned nor did I have light, variegated hair. I looked younger than all of them and their humor was slightly different. It was difficult to get close to some of them, especially since I was a girl from an exclusive all-girls school, which is basically code for me being awkward and not knowing what to do in response to so many new people and the opposite gender. I felt like I was at a disadvantage and had to make more of an effort to get to know people. Nevertheless, I eventually formed some good friendships, probably owing to the fact that I spoke English well especially in comparison to other Asians, allowing me to easily connect with them once we broke the ice.










