I was wondering if you could do a F 9th member comfort story? The 9th member losing a loved one; where she finds out over the phone during practice or an outing. And the boys comfort her and support her through her grief.
When the Music Paused - Stray Kids x Fem!Reader
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Found Family
Warning: Grief, loss of a loved one (illness), emotional breakdown, mentions of terminal illness
Summary: You've always danced with purpose to honor the person who first believed in your dream. But when the loss you've feared finally arrives, you're not alone. Your members hold you together when everything else falls apart.
Your grandmother was the first person who ever told you that your voice was meant for more than quiet living rooms and late-night karaoke.
She wasn’t loud or famous. She didn’t sing herself. But she listened, really listened like every note you sang was magic. When you were a kid, she used to say, “Promise me you’ll keep chasing that dream, even when it’s hard. Especially then.”
And you did.
Even when the world told you no.
Even when training pushed your body past its limits.
Even when you found yourself in a room with eight boys, all bursting with talent, wondering if there was still space for you.
But it was her voice gentle, steady, always proud that kept you grounded.
So when she got sick, you were the first one to call every night. When chemo made her too weak to speak, you texted long updates after practice. You sent voice notes from the studio. She always replied with little hearts and “So proud of you, my little star.”
Then… the replies slowed.
“She’s resting a lot more now,” your cousin explained on the phone two weeks ago. “But she still plays your songs when she’s awake.”
You wanted to go see her. But your comeback was around the corner, and the last thing she said before she stopped calling was:
“Don’t stop for me. You’re already making me proud.”
So you kept going.
You pushed harder. Danced sharper. Sang longer.
Because if she had limited time, you wanted to make sure she saw you shining before she left.
You never thought the moment would come when she wouldn’t be there to see it.
It was a regular practice day. Sweaty, loud, exhausting.
Han was goofing off during the cooldown stretches, Hyunjin pretending to be annoyed while hiding a grin. Minho was unusually focused probably because he had a bet going with Jeongin about who would mess up first during recording. Changbin is busy talking how he absolutely nailing his leg days. Felix handed you your water bottle like always, his smile calm and grounding.
And for a moment, things felt normal.
Your phone buzzed. You ignored it at first, expecting a delivery update or maybe a company group text. But then it buzzed again. And again.
You checked the screen.
Three missed calls from your cousin.
Then a message:
"Please call me. It’s about Halmoni."
Your stomach dropped.
Without a word, you stepped out into the hallway, fingers trembling as you pressed the call button. The ringtone barely rang once.
“Hello?”
There was a shaky breath on the other end. you keep on waiting for the words to come but it nearly 5 minutes later when-
“She’s gone.”
The world cracked.
You didn’t hear the rest, something about how peaceful it was, how she waited until everyone left the room like she didn’t want to be watched. All you could hear was your own heart pounding, and a sound you didn’t recognize at first.
A sob. Yours.
Your phone slipped from your hand, clattering to the ground. You slumped against the studio wall, curling in on yourself like maybe if you got small enough, the pain wouldn’t find you.
Inside, the boys were chatting lightly while cooling down when Seungmin looked toward the door.
“She’s been out there for a while.”
Felix was already walking toward it. “I’ll check—”
He stopped short as he opened the door.
You were sitting on the floor, unmoving, arms wrapped around yourself, your chest rising in silent heaves. Your phone lay face-down nearby.
“Hyung—!” Felix’s voice cracked as he turned back toward the others.
The rest of them rushed out.
Minho was the first to kneel next to you, slowly, not touching yet. “Y/N?” His voice was gentle.
You couldn’t answer.
Chan crouched next, eyes scanning your face. “Talk to us. What happened?”
It took every ounce of breath to speak. You barely recognized your own voice. Your hand is shaky, your eyes is blurry, you feel like you on the edge of throwing up.
“Sh...She’s gone...."
They look at you in confused before Hyunjin slowly hold onto your shoulder, letting him looking at your soaking-wet face.
"Hey, take a deep breath. Slowly. Who's gone, Y/Nnie?"
You take a deep breath even though it feels like there's a deep nails and screws inside your lungs. Your bloodshot eyes looking at him with tears falling like a flood.
"My.... grandmother.”
Silence. Thick and heavy.
Then you fell forward, and Hyunjin caught you.
You sobbed into his chest, your hands gripping the fabric of his shirt. His arms held you like he’d never let go. You felt someone kneel beside you, Changbin. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders, warm and steady, like a human anchor.
Felix was on your other side, whispering, “It’s okay, cry, we’re here,” over and over like a mantra.
Seungmin gently picked up your phone and placed it in your bag. Jeongin stood behind, biting his lip hard, eyes glassy.
Chan stayed crouched, watching it all, his face unreadable. Then he stood, clapped his hands once, and said firmly, “Practice is over. We’re going home.”
You shook your head, panic cutting through the fog. “I—I don’t want to go back to the dorm—”
“Not the dorm,” Chan said softly. “Home. My place. We’ll go together. You’re not being alone tonight.”
---
They brought you to Chan’s apartment.
It was quiet, safe. The kind of silence that didn’t demand anything of you.
Minho tucked you into the couch with a blanket before you even had to ask. Jeongin brought you a hoodie, his own when you started shivering. Felix sat on the floor in front of you, hands resting gently on your knees, grounding you.
No one rushed you. No one filled the space with empty words.
When you started crying again, you tried to apologize.
Han shook his head and hugged you tighter. “Don’t. Please don’t. You don’t have to be okay.”
If only not, it sounds like he's also in a deep sorrow like you as if he can feel the pain of losing someone. Which he did.
Bang Chan brought you warm tea, sitting nearby like a quiet guardian. His voice, when he finally spoke, was soft but firm.
“You don’t have to talk now. But we’re not going anywhere. Sleep here. Stay as long as you want. Take all the time you need.”
You didn’t respond. You couldn’t. But you nodded.
And when you finally fell asleep, it was with your head resting on someone’s shoulder, the others nearby like a wall holding you up.
The next morning, you didn’t eat much.
You tried. But the moment food touched your lips, your throat closed up. It felt wrong to be hungry. To be normal.
They didn’t force you. Minho just left a plate nearby. Seungmin sat beside you, talking softly about a cat video he’d seen. Not loud enough to demand your laughter but just enough to remind you that the world still had small, warm things.
Later that afternoon, you found a note on the table in Felix’s handwriting:
“You don’t have to shine every day. But even stars need rest to keep glowing. We’ll wait for you.”
You cried again.
But this time, it didn’t feel like shattering.
It felt like healing.
A few days later, you found yourself sitting in the corner of the practice studio.
You weren’t ready to join. But you watched.
Han flailed dramatically during warm-up. Minho rolled his eyes but smiled. Jeongin made a goofy face at you. Seungmin looked over his shoulder and nodded toward the empty spot next to him.
“Come on,” he mouthed.
You hesitated. Then Chan offered his hand.
You stood.
The music started again. You weren’t perfect, actually far from it. You missed steps. Forgot moves.
But the boys adjusted their pace to you. They laughed when you tripped. Cheered when you hit a move right.
content warning: shy y/n; gentle changbin; prom night; sex
Masterlist
Minors DNI🔞
word count: 3636
The old gymnasium was prettier than you'd ever seen it. Music filtered to each corner and lights danced across your skin. Changbin smiled sweetly at you, holding your waist from six inches away while you held his shoulders.
"This isn't middle school anymore," Changbin laughed. "We can dance closer."
You were biting your lip and looking down, focused on not stepping on his feet in your heels. One wrong move, and he could end up with a broken toe.
"Hey (Y/N)?" Changbin repeated, dragging your attention to his amused smirk. "You okay?"
You nodded and looked back down, too worried about misstepping to engage in conversation, but when a clumsy couple behind you ran into your back, all of the care in the world couldn't stop your heel from smashing his toes as you crashed into his chest.
Changbin caught you with careful hands on your back and you rushed out apologies while steadying yourself. He laughed when you tried to pull away, seemingly unbothered by what had happened.
"Will you let me hold you now?" he teased, still keeping you close.
You blushed and nodded as you ran your fingers across his broad shoulders to loop them around his neck. The music was a slow and steady ballad, and you followed his lead as he swayed and hummed. You could barely make eye contact standing so close and kept averting your gaze towards the bleachers or punch bowl.
"You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you," Changbin sang along playfully.
You smiled a little, but once again found yourself nervous when he looked at you. It was suffocating to be so close to someone so perfect.
"But if you feel like I feel," he continued in a teasing baritone. "Please let me know that it's real. You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you."
The thought had just crossed your mind to lean on his shoulder when the music picked up and Changbin suddenly twirled you away from him and spun you around. You giggled and grinned while watching him parade around like the leader of a marching band to the beat of the song, and just before the words began again, he pulled you back into his chest.
"Missed that pretty smile of yours," he complimented as his hand ran down your sides to your back. "You're being so quiet tonight"
You wished you could give a reason for it or say anything at all, but you were sure that if you spoke even a single word, all your feelings would come bursting out. So, instead of speaking, you rested your cheek against his shoulder and hummed contentedly. You'd always felt comfortable around Changbin and didn't want these weird confusing flutters in your heart to mess that up.
He sighed happily and rested his cheek against your forehead. "It's nice holding you like this," he murmured.
You agreed but didn't know how to tell him, so you stayed still, letting him slow dance with you even when faster songs began playing. You felt heated wherever his body touched yours. Your chest ached for every breath that his pecs would brush your breasts. You tried to urge his hands to explore using the power of your mind, but realized quickly that it was fruitless. Changbin respected you...of course, he wouldn't squeeze your bum in public.
You raised your head a little, wondering if he was feeling the same things you were.
"What is it?" he asked with a crease in his brow. You'd just opened your mouth to speak when the music was cut and the principal stepped on stage.
"How is everyone doing tonight?" he began as people clapped and hollered. Changbin separated from you to face the stage, but you noticed his hand lingered on your side. "One of the most anticipated parts of prom is the recognition of a Prom King and Queen."
You could feel your heart race beneath your chest. You knew what name you'd selected and glanced at Changbin who smiled back at you.
"These students have been chosen by their peers for their kindness, their humility, and their representation of their school in and out of the halls. At this time, it is my honor to announce your prom King and Queen as..." he pauses to allow the students to create a drum roll in anticipation. "Seo Changbin and Lee Ji-eun!"
Changbin hugged you as everyone cheered, and you squeezed him back proudly before releasing him to receive his crown. He looked so excited that you found yourself crying happily for him.
"And now the royal dance," the principal announced.
You'd forgotten about this when you voted for him and Changbin bowed jokingly to Ji-eun before taking her hand and guiding her to the dance floor.
Some cheesy John Legend song began playing, and you bit your cheek to hold back your tears at the sight of them. He whispered something to her and she smiled before replying with something else that made him laugh.
When the song ended he kissed her hand as a real king would and stepped through the crowd to walk back to you. You smiled in pain and reached for him.
"Congratulations," you sniffed.
"Those aren't happy tears?" he questioned as he wiped your cheeks with a frown.
"They are," you lied through a voice crack.
Changbin pouted and cupped your face, bringing you close. "(Y/N), I know all of your looks, all your laughs, all your smiles, and all your cries. These are not happy tears. What's wrong?"
You felt selfish for ruining his moment with sobs that could amount to nothing more than heartbreak. Even so, your mouth was moving before your brain could stop it. "I was jealous."
Changbin looked behind him at Ji-eun and back to you. "Jealous? Did you want to win, too?" he pondered.
"No," you croaked out. The last thing you'd ever want is to stand on a stage in front of hundreds of people to be judged and assessed by all of their stares.
Changbin's eyes softened and his head tilted curiously. "Were you jealous of our dance?"
You felt sick to your stomach at the thought of admitting something so stupid. You stared at the ground and nodded, unable to speak the confirmation into the world. His finger came out to lift your chin, demanding you look at him.
"You have nothing to be jealous of," he promised, his voice low and lips close. The words danced across your skin, and you closed your eyes to savor the lingering feeling, assuming it was all you deserved. "You're all I want."
His lips pressed to yours before you could reply...before you could let the words and their meaning sink in to give you that warm and fuzzy feeling you always felt around Changbin. All of the heat you felt for him before was amplified. You pressed your hands to his chest, gripping the lapel of his tux as he threaded his fingers through your hair. You were desperate to stay close and moaned while sinking closer, unknowingly pushing him back against a wall. Changbin hummed and yanked you in by your waist, pinching your hips in his stronger grasp.
When you came up for air, you were acutely aware of the fact that you were still in the school gym. As you turned around, you noticed more than a few chaperones seemed to be on their way to scold you for the public display of affection and a few students snickered behind glasses of punch at your lack of self-control.
Changbin's hands held you from behind and he kissed your neck before whispering, "Let's go."
He held his hand out for you, and you took it, feeling a sense of pride in being held by him.
"Mr. Seo..." one of the teachers called, but you were already out the door.
"It's only 11," you realized when you settled into the familiarity of his car.
"What's your curfew?" he asked, knowing that you always had one thanks to strict parents who obsessed over true crime.
"1 am," you answered.
Changbin raised his brows as he started up the car. "How hard did you have to beg for that?"
You laughed and kissed his cheek simply because you could. "I didn't have to try that hard to have them raise it. It's prom, and they knew I was going with you. They trust you."
Changbin grinned at that fact and sped out of the parking lot. You had no idea where he was going but it didn't matter. If you were with him, you'd be safe.
It wasn't a surprise when he pulled up to his house. You'd been there hundreds of times and always loved how adoring and trusting his parents were. He parked and rounded the car to open the door for you, offering his hand to help you navigate the stone walkway.
Once the door opened, you realized right away how quiet it was. His parents who usually stayed up late to watch reruns of Friends were nowhere in sight.
"It's just us," you realized, swearing you could hear your voice echo in the entryway.
"My dad is gone on a work trip...my mom went with him," Changbin explained as he reached for you and pulled you close just as you'd been at the prom.
It was so new to be touched by him like this, and yet it felt surprisingly familiar. You flattened his suit and pressed your hands to his chest, thinking to yourself how handsome he looked. He'd always been handsome but you'd never seen him in a suit before. You could feel yourself blush as you considered what it would be like to see him without a suit.
He exhaled and drew your attention to his pursed lips. "It's a shame we didn't start kissing sooner," he sighed as he pressed a soft peck to your lips. "It's so nice."
Your cheeks flushed pink in agreement, and Changbin brushed his thumbs over your rosy skin. "I love that I always know what you're thinking," he murmured. "Even if you say nothing."
You felt naked. You always knew Changbin could read you clearer than anyone, but hearing him confess it was like being stripped bare and laid out for all to see.
"Like right now," he hummed as he brushed his fingers through your hair, pulling out a clip that had been digging into your scalp. You sighed in relief when your hair fell, moaned when his fingers massaged your hair, melting into his touch. "You've always been beautiful," he breathed. "But I especially like you like this."
"Dressed up?" you asked, fearing he'd wake up in the morning regretting kissing you when he saw you in your plain clothes again.
"No," he smirked with another kiss. "I like how comfortable you are with me. You're so guarded around everyone else...even your parents."
"Nobody else cares to try to get to know me," you admitted, watching the way his gaze turned pitiful.
"It's their loss," he whispered before his kisses became feverish. His hands became weights that held you against him, and you tugged him closer unwilling to separate even for air. You'd die without breath if it meant keeping his eager lips against yours.
The first slip of your hand landed your palm against his shirt, and you realized a shirt was so much nicer a thing to hold than a jacket. You shoved the tux from his shoulders, urging it to the ground so you could feel more of him. He let it fall behind him and gathered your hair to one shoulder. "Turn around," he whispered.
You listened, always trusting him, always knowing that whatever happened you'd be safe. Your dress had a slight open back and you felt his knuckles brush down your spine, making you arch in surprise.
His lips pressed a kiss to your shoulder. "We can always stop," he informed you as he pulled the zipper down. "We can redress and go get junk food or watch a movie like we usually do," he offered as he unclasped the halter neck sending your dress to the floor. "Or maybe we can try something new," he breathed as his arms wrapped around your waist before driving up to your chest.
He cupped your bare breasts for the first time, lingering only briefly before playfully squeezing you and lifting you out of your heels.
You squealed as he carried you to his room, giggling in shock when you felt the soft fur of his favorite blanket. You wrapped it around yourself, suddenly very aware you were nearly naked and he was not.
Changbin stepped out of his shoes and began unbuttoning his shirt. "You don't know how many times I've wished you were here...sitting just like that."
You could feel your eyes shining in admiration of him, but the idea of speaking your mind as transparently as he did left you thoughtless. You bit your lip and tightened the blanket around your shoulders.
He pulled off his shirt and then the undershirt. You eyed him hungrily with a fresh blush in your cheeks as he began undoing his belt. "I've never done this before," he warned you. "So I might not be very good at it."
"Me neither," you confessed just as his pants fell to the floor, making him your equal in clothes left. You each had just underwear waiting to be removed.
"I want to be good for you," Changbin answered while crawling to your side. "I've heard girls don't always cum their first time. But I want it to be as good for you as it is for me."
Your entire body burned at the thought...at the embarrassment of it all. Changbin would touch you...he'd be inside you, and you could possibly disappoint him by not finishing.
He urged the blanket out of your hands, draping it behind you so that you were once again exposed to him. "You're so soft," he praised before running his fingers over your nipples and watching them pebble.
You whined and moved closer, desperate for more gentle touches that left you tingling for him.
"I also heard it can hurt for girls," he frowned, his hand moving lower across your stomach. "I don't want it to hurt," he said in a low voice and he pressed his hand into your underwear.
"Bin," you whimpered, hips grinding his palm that cupped your center. He was the very first boy to touch you there, and it felt so different from what you thought. Changbin ran two fingers through your slick—two digits that felt as thick as four of yours.
You shamefully covered your face when he pushed them in, fighting the moans that threatened to spill by kissing and nibbling on his neck. As usual, Changbin was louder. He whimpered when you sucked his skin, when your cunt squeezed around his fingers as the pleasure built.
"Your body is even louder than the blush on your cheeks," he groaned, noticing (as always) your silent tells. "You seem to like it most when I..." he trailed off as he curled his fingers that were sunk deep inside you.
It was impossible to hide your whines now. They came as freely as thoughts appear in your head or clouds appear in the sky. You held Changbin's face, urging him closer, eyes pleading for his lips. Your lips moved slowly if not lazily together. He kissed you through desperate pants and continued when your waist began to grind against his hand.
He kissed you even as you released onto him, drowning his digits in the proof of your high before pulling them out and dragging your panties down your legs before settling his cock against your heat.
"Tell me if it hurts," he muttered as you ran your fingers through his hair and spread your legs a little wider.
You nodded and kissed his nose, feeling so perfectly euphoric after your first orgasm that nothing sounded better than a second.
"You're glowing, baby," he smirked when he realized how dazed you were.
"I'm happy," you confessed with uncharacteristically playful kisses to his cheeks.
"I'm happy too," he breathed as he sank in, stretching and filling you as the air filled with your moans.
You glanced between your bodies in surprise, curious as to what it would look like with him inside you. It was strange seeing your bodies so connected.
He pulled his hips back and thrust in again, this one feeling even better than the last. Your head fell back to the pillow and Changbin caged you in where you lay. You gazed up at him with loving, drunken eyes and twirled a piece of his hair around your finger when he stilled deep inside you.
"I've never seen you so out of your own mind before," he commented.
"I don't have to think in here with you," you confessed. "You do that for me."
Changbin's lips were soft against yours...they were patient but powerful. "That's right, baby. Just feel. I can take care of everything else," he vowed as his hips rolled forward and back, the closeness enough to have his name spilling from your lips as a second orgasm closed in. You felt his cock twitch against your walls and knew he was nearing his end too.
His eyes almost seemed to cross as he took in all of you...from your lips parting in needy sighs to your breasts shaking with every thrust...all the way up to your hands holding his biceps to ground yourself. It was a mental image he never wanted to forget and one he knew he'd be returning to every night until he died.
"I'm close," you squeaked out, eyes pinched shut as your brain took over and tried to close out the pleasure. Hold off it said. You look pathetic when you cum...grasping at his shoulders and making weird sounds.
"Finish for me, baby," Changbin urged, his voice hoarse and deep against your ear. "Look at me," he pleaded, the demand enough to pull you from your thoughts. "Cum with me," he begged as his pace became erratic. "I need you to..."
You pulled him in for a kiss as you gasped and came around his cock. You throbbed around him and clutched his shoulders as your body spasmed beneath his. Changbin pulled out and spilled onto your stomach and chest, his moans breathy and ticklish on your neck.
He collapsed on top of you, kissing your neck and shoulder and cheek before rolling to lay beside you where he eyed the mess proudly.
He looked dizzied and smiley when he met your euphoric, droopy eyes. "I have to get home," you yawned as you scooted closer, cuddling into his body like a blanket.
"I'll take care of that," he promised. "Why don't you go shower, and I'll take care of your parents?"
Normally, you'd never agree to such terms as your parents were so overprotective that they'd never let you have even an extra hour of curfew, but Changbin seemed confident that whatever he wanted to happen would happen.
You nodded sleepily and kissed him again. "Love you."
He smiled and kissed you back. "Love you too."
The words were common but meant something more now even if neither of you cared to have that conversation. You'd said them often as friends but knew you were beyond that title now.
You headed off to shower and heard Changbin reaching for his phone. You'd only just begun to shampoo your hair when he joined you and massaged your scalp while kissing your shoulder.
"You can stay with me tonight if you want."
You turned around in shock, almost slipping on the tile. "How?"
"I told them you fell asleep when we came back here to watch a movie. Apparently, they trust me more than we thought," he grinned as he stole some of the shampoo from your hair to wash his own.
Once your body was bathed, your hair brushed, and your mouth minty fresh, you dug through his drawers to find a t-shirt to wear and a pair of boxers to steal.
You looked so much different from the way you had when the evening began. The gown was gone and your hair was tangled. Your makeup had been removed, and you looked even plainer than you did on a normal day because at least on a normal day you had a little concealer to hide your faults.
Changbin had a side smile as he reached for you to bring you back to the bed and back to his arms. You snuggled against his chest, intent to hide in it when he once again tilted you to look at him. "I think this is my favorite version of you."
"Because I look so bad nobody else will try to steal me?" you frowned.
Changbin kissed your forehead. "No, you look beautiful just like you always do. But instead of just feeling comfortable with me, now you look like you're comfortable with yourself...even if your brain won't let you believe it yet."
You grew warm at the realization that what he'd said was true. With his love flooding through you, you felt more confident. You knew you were capable of allowing yourself to be held like that now when the girl earlier this evening couldn't even move closer for a dance.
summary: it was the way that changbin never imagined what the world would be like without you by his side.
a/n: i’ve had this idea in my head for a bit, i apologize in advance for being in my feels. please join me there and enjoy ♡
Silence filled the too small room as Changbin stared unseeing at the wall behind his computer. It had been a stupid idea to come to the studio, but he needed a new outlet besides the gym or watching endless dramas. At this point he didn’t know what day of the week it was or what was on their schedule, and he was solely relying on Chan to tell him where he was supposed to be and what type of mood he was to be in. Maybe it was for the better to not have to think, to not have to put in effort to do anything but just exist, or maybe he was avoiding thinking because he knew that no matter what he thought, you were wrapped into everything he did.
The pounding at the gates started as soon as he entered the studio. It had been a week, or maybe more, since he had even ventured into the space, instead claiming a permanent spot in Chan’s room. However, due to his weekly schedule, Chan gave him the option to join his live stream or get out. Home wasn’t an option since most nights he found sleeping at the other dorm on the couch. No matter how many times he ran his sheets through the washer, there was still the lingering scent of your perfume. Every place he wanted to be, there were traces of you left behind.
All the memories he was collecting found themselves haunted and shoved into the closet.
Grounding himself back to reality, he forced himself to focus on the little task he assigned himself when he came into the room. Work on music. Create something. Create anything, even if it’s only five seconds. Maybe he would get used to this feeling, a hazy numbness doing activities that he used to do with you. A feeling that he wanted to drown out making music, throwing his everything into something that he knew he was good at. Fingers slowly opened the laptop, while a breath caught in his throat at the background. The photo captured you on his back while he was running down the beach, aiming to toss the both of you into the ocean as the sun shined down on the perfect day. It was the few days he got off and all the members agreed to take a weekend off and enjoy the beach, he immediately invited you to join and have some much-needed time together.
Cursing under his breath, he quickly adverted his eyes to anything else in his sight, catching on a mug that was half tucked behind a few other items on this desk. Slowly, he reached across everything, tugging gently on the handle wondering which member had left it there. Turning it in his hands, he noted the lipstick stain that was gradually fading as time went on. It was a shade he knew all too well, as it usually covered the lips that he used to call home. Memory after memory filled his head as he remembered all the late nights the two of you would be curled up in this room, giggling at the makeshift guide he had you do because he was too tired to do it himself. The nights when you’d sit with your legs tucked under you sipping tea or coffee as he wrote lyric after lyric about you and all the ways that he loved you.
Not once did he imagine that loving you would be the happiest he’d ever been.
The weight of the world came crashing into his chest, removing the remaining air from his lungs as the tears finally welled in his eyes, threatening to open the gates that he had spent time continuously reinforcing. If the gate he crafted broke open, he honestly didn’t think that he would be able to survive everything that would come rushing out. Shaky hands reached for him phone, knowing that he would need not only his hyungs but the rest of his members as well.
Countless thoughts continued to come and go as his mind shuffled tirelessly through the memories and moments of you. Stirring up events he hadn’t thought about in a year, because he didn’t think they would be anything more than a passing memory. What if he had taken a different road? Would things have ended the same? Would his heart still feel like it no amount of time would heal it? Never once did a life without you cross his mind when he held you in his arms falling asleep on the couch of the dorm after watching your favorite movie for some unknown time. No, instead he laid there thinking about how the two of you could grow old together, still as in love as he had been in that instant. His love for you had consumed him, his work, his heart because you were his everything.
Quietly, he pulled up the last session he had worked on with you, allowing it to be the only sound that filled the room. You had brought so much light and joy to his life that listening to this now, truly broke down the last piece of the door he used to box up the heartbreak he didn’t want to accept. A sob overpowered the music as he realized that you lingered in everything he did. Mixed emotions bubbled to the surface as rage quickly took over as he threw that stained mug at the wall before the air that filled his lungs was released as a scream. Maybe the ghost of you would eventually fade with time or maybe he’d always have this piece of you trailing after him, reminding him of what true happiness was.
Silence again filled the room as he paused the track, settling into staring at the new mark on the wall, waiting for his brothers to come and rescue him from the despair he felt himself falling into.
♡ ── thank you for reading! let me know your thoughts & requests are open.
*taps mic* ladies, gentlemen and non-binary people, i know noone asked, but streetlight by changbin (ft. chan) is what i'll be listening to for the rest of the month. have a nice evening
[18:57] you slowed your breathing as you creeped around the furniture, not wanting to be heard or seen, even in the dim lighting.
“You won’t be able to hide forever, y/n,” Changbin sang, “I always find you.”
You pursed your lips as you tried to figure out where he was, and judging from the volume of his voice, he wasn’t far.
You risked sneaking a peak at the top of the couch, eyes darting to scan the room, but you couldn’t tell where he was. You ducked back down, I always win these, I’ll be fine, I’ll find him and win again.
“Hi, princess,” his voice chirped beside you, “told you I’d find you.”
You emitted a sound of surprise as you backed away from him. “Let’s talk this out, yeah?”
He chuckled, his smile seeming to glow in the dark— pretty creepy, actually.
“No can do,” he said and soon, you felt something jab your stomach, “I won.”
You pouted as you aimed the gun at him and shot at his chest. “Have you been holding out on me?”
“Maybe,” he shrugged as he stood up, walked to the other side of the room and turned on the lights, “or maybe I just got better with every loss.”
“No fair! One more round, please?” You stood up from your crouched position and focused on him. “One more, just one more.”
Changbin tilted his head to the side, smiling at the way you weren’t accepting the fact that you lost for the first time. “Okay,” he nodded as he raised the gun, “one more round,” he turned the lights off, “loser pays for dinner.”
