#soft kylo

[refusecollectionpoint]

Hux and Kyloyster

[simp-4-kylo]

can i get a softie!kylo ren x reader? the reader got back from a dangerous mission (he couldn't go with) and almost gets killed by a saber. while at med bay kylo rushes in and crawls in bed with her. lots of fluff. softie supreme leader!!

Can’t lose you 

Warnings/tags: softie!Kylo, mentions of war/fighting, blood, injured reader, mentions of needles, fluff, uhh Kylo Ren is nice (in this one), lmaooo

Word Count: 1,264

A/N: I am slowly making my rounds to the requests, trust me they’re all in the works!!! I actually really love the idea of the reader getting hurt and Kylo being all soft. I lowkey want to make a discord server where we as star wars fans/adam fans can just vibe together. Also, I’m totally not writing this in the middle of english class #SorryNotSorry haha. (also I have def used that gif before-)

The rush of cold air from the docking bay rushed into the shuttle causing each wound to slightly burn. The smell of burnt skin and clothes filled your nose, it couldn’t quite leave. That sickening smell mixed with the smell of cleaner and oli. The docking bay was jammed packed with shuttles landing from the recent mission, people working on different tie-fighters, prisoners being brought in, crates being loaded into ships to be sent off. 

Lights flashing by as two medics rushed you down what seemed to be the longest hallway on the Finalizer. The bed that you were laying on proceeded to get soak with blood and dirt. Your eyes grew heavier by the second and you couldn’t keep them open much longer, you heard a muffled voice say “Mrs. Ren, keep your eyes open for…” Then the world went black.

Sweat dripped down Kylo’s back and soaked his training clothes. He released a muffled grunt as he drew back his saber and swung it towards his Knights. He managed to push two of his knights back, he sliced through the air doing flips and tricks, it was an art that he was still mastering. He raised his crackling red saber above his head and blocked a hit, he released a deep grunt and pushed with all his force and grazed the shoulder of his knight. 

“Excuse me Supreme Leader, I was sent to-” A younger officer had come through the doors of the training room, looking quite small and out of place. A skinny male who was visibly shaking. Kylo had cut him off and said “What? What is so important that you come into my training room and disturb me while I am training with my knights. What could possibly be that important”. He ended his sentence with a click of his saber and clipped the hilt to his side. 

“I’m sorry sir, but uh. It’s uh- the recent mission Mrs. Ren was on- well they’re back.” The young officer said, looking around the training room, he was once again cut off by Kylo. “Then get out of my way so I can go see her, you are wasting my time.” Kylo said and he brushed past the officer, but before Kylo could get all the way out the door the officer turned around and said “she’s in the medical wing, she was injured during battle.” The smaller man was staring at the floor when he said this. He was waiting for Kylo to ignite his lightsaber and cut off his head, after a few seconds of pure horror, the guard looked up and Kylo was no longer standing there. 

Kylo made his way through the halls of the Finalilzer, he knew he should have made you stay with him on board the ship. It was his damn fault that you were now in the medical wing, stars know what is going to happen to you. He tried to steer his thoughts in a good direction, it was extremely hard when he could feel life slowly drain from you. You’re ability with the force wasn’t as strong as Kylo’s, it was something the two of you had always been working at. Any storm trooper that came between you and Kylo moved to the very edge of the hall, they lowered their heads out of respect.

The sound of heavy stomping boots grew louder as you slowly opened your eyes and the feeling of anger and vulnerability washed over you. You tried to open your eyes all the way but the bright lights were too much. Laying there in the long bed, with your eyes half open and half closed you heard the door open. You tried to lift your head to see who had just entered the room but you couldn’t, you slightly moved up in the bed while doing so, releasing a grunt. 

You waited for someone to start speaking to you, but you never heard any words. The only noise that filled the room was the heart monitor attached to you and distorted breathing coming from the end of the hospital bed. Finally you were able to open your eyes all the way, you reached up to rub them a couple times when you heard the figure in front of you clear their throat, which made you remove your hands from your face. 

As your world started to become clearer, you had realized that the tall figure at the end of your bed was Kylo. You had wondered how he got here since he was in the middle of training and was he going to be mad at you? You tried your best on the mission and honestly you couldn’t let Kylo down especially on your first mission without him leading. He had put so much faith in you, trained you for weeks, told you everything that needed to happen. He even asked if you felt better if one of the knights came along, but you had declined. You knew you were strong enough to do this without any help.  

“I knew something was going to go wrong on that mission.” Kylo had said after he reached up to remove his helmet. You just stared at him, you were afraid he was going to yell and be angry. “I”m sorry Kylo, I know you trusted me to complete this mission and I tried my best. I really did. It all happened so fast, I’m not even sure wha-.” He had cut you off mid sentence and replied “Hush. I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at the storm troopers for not notifying me sooner of your injuries. They had failed to inform me on your way back.” he said as he walked around the bed and came to kneel beside you.

“Kylo I really did try. I tried and I remembered everything you had told me to do. I guess I’m just not strong enough, I know I can get better I promise you. I won’t fail again. I’ll train everyday.” You said as tears filled your eyes, all you had wanted to do was impress him but instead you had failed him and ended up in the med bay. 

“You already impress me. The fact that you had wanted to go on a mission and lead it by yourself shows your strength. Things happen and I couldn’t be more proud of you for wanting to become stronger. All I wanted is for you to be okay and you know that I will always help you train. I want you to believe in yourself and know that you are so very strong.” He had said as he leaned forward and rested his head on the bed and held your hand. 

You had just stared at him and your heart swelled with love, this was the soft side of Kylo Ren that the universe didn’t know existed. This version of him was only reserved for you. “Come here Kylo, come lay with me.” you had said. He lifted his head off the hospital bed and looked you in the eyes and smiled. He stood up and rounded the other side of the bed, he sat down and leaned down to take off his boots. 

Once he had removed his boots, he crawled into the bed with you. Him being huge, you ended up laying on him. With your head resting on his chest, you felt him trace the saber wound that was bandaged on your side. You fell asleep to the sound of his beating heart. The heart that was reserved for you.

[bottmless-pitt]

Super bloom

A/N: A little something I wrote yesterday. Definitely more me projecting all my sadness into some fluff. Don’t know if this is one-shot or what, so let me know if you want more!!

Kylo Ren x Reader (Intergalactic soulmate AU)

Summary: People come from far and wide to visit the sacred Cherry Blossom Grove, but also to get a chance at finding their soulmate. What happens when Kylo Ren finds his soulmate in the most unlikely of planets in the outer rim?

Warnings: None, just fluff. It’s a soulmate AU so, just... that lol. 

There is a story the Elders tell, that every bloom of the cherry blossom represents a new pair of soulmates connected in the galaxy. These tales have been sacred to my people for centuries and thousands of visitors come to our planet, Katto, just to see the sacred blossom grove in the capitol. They come to see the spectacle, to have their hand at possibly finding love.

No different than the other seasons of my life, the hoards of people came to see them bloom as soon as the snow that blanketed the city receded with warmth. Lovers flooded the streets to celebrate, groups put on elaborate dances and performances to celebrate the magic we held in the city, and the elders welcomed the visitors with open arms in hopes to enrich them with our lore. Windows opened, and wherever you walked in the city, sounds of people singing mixed with people making love. It was freeing, as long as you had someone to share it with.

Born to the town’s only book keep and his strong-willed wife who spent her days making dresses, I was their third daughter. Father always said he prayed for a son, and instead he received his suns, and that with every step his family lights his path and his heart. He’s very sentimental, which is shared in his first-born daughter and my eldest sister, Sennica.

Only two years after Sennica was born, my parents had Anya, their second daughter, and new joy. They had planned on stopping then, with two perfect girls they had no want for more. But, my father, always the determined man that he is, decided that if they had another, he knew it would be a boy. He was wrong. Three years after Anya, I was born to the surprise of my father, his third daughter. There had been much celebration because I had been born the day of the bloom, all the elders came to visit and bless me with the hope and luck that I may find my soulmate. As I grew in the heart of the capital, surrounded by others who thanked the gods for their person, their light, I always wondered when mine would come.

As I grew up, I watched, I waited, and when I got old enough, I even dared to hope that the elder’s blessings for true fortune in the search for my love would come true. When Sennica found her person, Petrik a boy from the outskirts of town who worked on a farm, I was only fourteen. I watched the way they loved; how complete they were. The two married almost immediately, starting a family only a year later on Petrik’s farm.

From that moment forward there was a shift in Anya. Gone were the days she spent in the library with father and I, even at seventeen, she was determined to have the joy we saw in Sennica. Then it was only me in the dusty dank shelves of the books that father was tasked with looking after. I spent my days learning and reading of far off places, dreaming of one day escaping the planet centered around love. I wanted to love, yes, but I want an adventure more.  

This blooming season was no different than the ones before, the ships stormed the atmosphere, taking refuge outside the city limits. They carried everyone from curious foreigners who seek the chance to find love, to political leaders invited by the elders as a hope they will remain at peace with our small planet. As a young child my father would tell us stories about the great Jedi wars, as he called them, and the magical force that connected everything. He gave me books to read describing the mystical energy, and its wielders. Secretly I prayed at our modest temple to be one of the great force wielding Jedi masters, but as I grew there were no such qualities.

Each year the political guests changed as the far-off wars and alliances changed, but every year father took them to the library we kept and showed them the beautiful knowledge and records we had stored there. Without fail, every single year I sat in a dusty corner of the library waiting for something to happen, for these old men to say something, to do something, and every year they would glance over me as if I were part of the building itself.

The great ships could be seen landing outside the city, and the town was buzzing everywhere. The second I stepped foot onto the cobbled streets I could hear the sounds of the festivals beginning. There were street players already bustling a tune and already a crowd began to form to dance. The distant roar of the grand ships only mixed with the delighted music to form anticipation in my stomach. My eyes, drawn to the crowd of people dancing, caught the sight of a new ship overhead, it was much smaller, a personal ship it seemed. I passively wondered who the ship was brought to my home.

As the nearby song ended, I began the short trek to the library my father worked at. The elders would be by soon with the dignitaries’ tour of the sights, and I wanted to get comfortable before they arrived. This year my father seemed much tenser, when I asked, he only murmured something about a ‘regime change’ and suggested I stay home this year. I only promised him I would stay farther on the shelves than normal.

As I made my way through the crowd, I saw two more of those bizarre ships fly overhead. I looked around to see if anyone else even noticed and no one else seemed to bat an eye. Maybe It was a new model? I told myself for reassurance, but as I said it a pit began to form in my stomach. I shoved the feeling down as far as I could and continued along.

Once in the library, I found my father doing some last-minute sweeps of the area to assure that it was not only safe but clean for the elders and guests. When he saw me a look of irritation and relief flashed over his features.

“I thought we agreed you were staying home this year?” He did not sound impressed with either my choice of fashion or my overall appearance, probably both.

“I agreed I would stay away, but never once did I say how far father,” he sighed and turned to properly greet me, “I’m getting too clever for you now.” I beamed, proud of my wit.

“You’re getting too clever for your own good,” he looked me over to see what I was wearing, “would it have killed you to wear a nice dress, the one your mother made specifically for you?” His chastisement only rolled off my skin like water. This dress was fine for last years guests, why would this be different?

“I’ll sit in the back behind most of the shelves, I promise.” He only sighed again and looked over my shoulders in worry, “I just want to see them before the festival begins.” I explained, he looked at me once again and tucked a small bit of hair behind my ear.

“I know my little bud, I know.” His term of endearment resonated in my chest filling it with a soft comforting glow. He leaned in to kiss my forehead before sending me to the back of the room. “Now, I don’t want you to come out unless you are called upon.” He commanded me, in hopes that for once I would listen. And with my father’s command, I went to the farthest, dustiest part of the library and waited.

By the time I heard any commotion it had been close to an hour, not that I had any real way to tell how much time had passed except for a small window nearby that overlooked the streets. I heard the grand doors open, and voices echoing along the halls. I could recognize the tone of an older Elder, Elder Norfin, she always jumped at the chance to show off our records no matter how old she was. Her soft lilt was contrasted by a robotic intoned voice that boomed without recognition. That must have been the new guest of honor.

Suddenly, my curiosity could no longer be quelled. I imagine if I could just peak from behind a shelf, they would be none the wiser. Even if they did know, what was the harm in looking? I stood from the corner I had sheltered myself in and slowly made my way towards the center aisle overlooking the majority of the library. I knew if I shimmied along this shelf there was a low chance of anyone catching me, and so I slowly made my way towards the voices echoing from below.

Once I got close enough to see the tail end of the party touring the records, I noticed they were very different than the usual storm troopers that usually accompanied the guest. Two people were guarding the door in dark intricate black robes. One held a long metal staff that looked like an ax I had seen on Petrik’s farm when we visited last year. The other held a long blade that looked like it curved at the tip. Both were wearing masks that could have been mutations of a stormtrooper, but still dark and much more intimidating.

I moved even farther towards the mouth of the shelf to see if I could get a better look at the person that required such intimidating guards. As I inched forward, rounding the corner to see who It was I felt it. There was a pounding in my chest that pulled me forward. An ache that had been described to me in great detail growing up. The feeling the gods give you when you’re about to meet your soulmate.

I froze, I wasn’t sure what I should do. How do you explain to your soulmate that you’ve been attempting to eavesdrop on their official political business? How could you face them when you’ve been acting like a child?

Amid my internal panic, I failed to realize the conversation had sharply ceased below me.

I heard the robotic drawl begin again, despite the fact I could not see them, “Who else is here?” He all but demanded.

“M-my daughter, Supreme Leader, is upstairs,” My blood ran cold as I listened to my father’s nerves. He was a collected man by trade and to hear his obvious unsettlement made me wish I had listened to him. “She’s still very young sir, she cannot even hear us from where I left her.” My father tried to reassure the man standing intimidatingly before him. I heard the shuffling of footsteps and the pounding ache in my chest increased.

“Bring her to me.” He said simply, whether it was to my father or the guards was a mystery to me. The idea of the guards coming near me was enough to push me to reveal myself, in hopes he would be kind once I explained I meant no harm.

The only problem is, once I popped up from where I was crouched between the safe shelves of stories that couldn’t hurt me, I zeroed in on the person who I knew I was meant to find. The world around me ceased to exist, there was movement, voices, a commotion but as soon as the masked figure faced me there was nothing but the pounding of my heart in time with his. His squared shoulders seemed sturdy, but they wavered in my gaze and the curiosity, oh the curiosity, of what lay under the mask that kept me from the man who held my fate in his gloved hands.

The only thing that broke me from my gaze was the feeling of a harsh hand grabbing my arm, surely to leave bruises by nightfall. I looked up and one of the guards from the door, the one with the ax-like blade was ushering me down the steps.

“Who are you?” The man, the Supreme Leader, asked once I was ushered in front of him.

“(Y/N),” I murmured, my voice sounding small and distant than what I expected in my head. He tilted his head in his mask, every micro-movement becoming clear to me now. “My father is the bookkeeper,” I said without breaking my gaze, I don’t think I could if I wanted.

“(Y/N),” he murmured, still disguised with the robotic lilt, “How old are you?” He seemed to expect me younger from my father’s description of me, I felt my heart bloom and the blood in my veins all but slowed.

“I will be twenty-three tomorrow, sir.” I finally broke my gaze by bowing my head in respect, and my body physically deflated without that connection.

He hummed and appraised me further, “Ap’Lek, let her go.” He commanded and his guard complied immediately. The supreme leader stepped forward; he lifted my chin affectionately lifting my gaze to his. Despite his helmet, I felt his eyes pierce mine, I could feel the world around me dissolve. “We’ll have to celebrate your birthday, join us in the grove.” He asked, well demanded, still guiding my chin to meet his gaze. I nodded shyly, and as soon as the moment passes there are cries of objection.

“I beg your pardon sir,” My father began, “She doesn’t need to impose you-“ He began, only to be cut off by another elder, Elder Fishalm.

“That’s highly unnecessary, and not to mention against the protocol for-“ before he could finish the supreme leader whipped around in anger, but before he could do anything the other elder stepped forward to diffuse the situation.

“Elder Fishalm, please,” She began softly, her voice lowering the tension in the room, “There are higher powers at play now.” Her voice alluding to the unspoken connection between us. “If the supreme leader wishes to bring her, the gods have already brought them together, there is little for them to be upset about.” She explained looking fondly over the two of us.

“If there are no further objections,” The supreme leader grits out sharply at the two men who dared challenge him, “let’s carry on.” His tone was commanding and dark but his hand grazed mine with a tenderness I had never experienced. When I looked up at him, he was already looking down at me, I felt the deepest butterflies in her chest. How was I going to make it out of this without making a fool of myself?

I accompanied the group through the rest of the tour, the supreme leader was sure to keep me by his side with a light guiding hand on the small of my back. I had kept my gaze mostly lowered to the ground out of respect not only for the Elder’s present but the supreme leader. He appraised me often, checking if was alright, which I always answered with a swift short nod.

The day didn’t become interesting until we made our way to exit the library, to go to the sacred grove. That’s when the guards took a formation around us to walk through the streets carefully. The walk there was filled with celebration in the streets. It was all so different from this side, from behind the guard I could barely see and the only thing keeping me steady and grounded was the large leather hand at the small of my back. He guided me with ease, poise, precision without ever making me feel anything less than comfortable. When I looked up at him, he was already gazing down at me.

There was a soft robotic chuckle in my ear, “Watch where you’re going little girl, what kind of soulmate would I be if I let you fall.” He murmured only loud enough for me to hear over the celebration. It was the first time I heard it out loud, he addressed me as a soulmate. Every bone in my body wanted to turn to jelly right then, and he must have felt that from me because he gave another sadistic chuckle.

There was nothing as strong as a soulmate connection, that’s what everyone I knew told me. There was nothing better than this bond formed, and given to you by the gods, by the force. I could only imagine what it would be like when we were alone. If he would still be as sturdy, if he was good looking or not, or if once we were alone It would be like the first time, I saw him.

These thoughts were only interrupted by our arrival at the temple entrance to the sacred grove. There was a big deal made as we entered the hexagonal format, there were monks lined on either side throwing petals at us in celebration and I could only think that this was our way of honor, not theirs. The man by my side stiffened, maybe in irritation, maybe in caution but either way the very act made me want to cease the existence of the very petals that could upset him.

Once the temple doors were closed behind us the energy immediately shifted. The remaining elders lined the far side of the room in a bowed stance. I had never seen them like that, they were the direct connections from our people to the god, they were the ones we looked to. To see them lay down their respect to the man at my side had my heart soar with pride. He must be a great man, I may not know much of him, but his adventures must be great.

“Leave us.” He commands the elders, who have now risen to hear his command, “I wish to enter the sacred grove with only my soulmate by my side.” He speaks evenly, commanding them with little effort and maximum efficiency.

The use of the word soulmate is not lost There is still a deep ache in my chest commanding me near him, and the sheer thought of even leaving his sight for a moment has my heart dropping through the planet’s floor. As the Elders exit, his guards take posts on either side of the grove’s entrance.  He moves forward to the entrance, the light eclipsing his large form.

The shadowed figure eclipsed the entrance, and I couldn’t help but think I would live in that shadow for the rest of my life if he asked. He suddenly let out a laugh, I was startled, I was so entranced by his form that I had no clue what was happening around me. Had he said something?

“No, little one,” he reached a hand out for me to take, and without hesitation I grabbed it, still confused. He just hummed and lead me into the sacred space filled with the enormous old Cherry Blossoms that were already beginning to bloom.

There was a small creek that split the grotto in the center, he led me with expertise, despite the fact he had never traversed this space as I had many times in reverence of the gods.

Once we escaped the sun below one of the older, and larger, trees I could no longer hold my tongue.

“Who are you?” I blurted as he sat silently, his helmet still glinting from the sunlight that peaked through the trees, “You’re the supreme leader of what exactly?” I softened my tone and looked away embarrassed that my education lacked.

He reached for my hand softly and I looked down at him as he sat, relaxed, “Everything,” He started, “The supreme leader of the galaxy.” He was smug, teasing me for my sheltered learning.

“Do you have a name?” I kneeled to meet his gaze head-on, now that I was within reach, he traced my features slowly.

“Kylo Ren.” He answered evenly. It was robotic, electronic, rehearsed even. There was hurt there, I could sense it through all the armor he wore.

“May I call you Kylo?” I asked, not wanting to make him uncomfortable with a title he didn’t prefer.

“Please,” it came out as a whisper, which must have shocked him with tenderness. He immediately changed the subject, not to cause himself pain, “I heard tales of these trees granting people with their perfect match, a soulmate for all eternity, and I didn’t believe it.” He began speaking and all I wanted to do was curl into his words and make a home in them. His voice resonated in my chest like a cat curled up in the sun. “You are the most unbelievably perfect sight to see.” His compliment made a home in my heart, my soul.

“I am nothing in comparison to the reflection of my soul before me. I am not always the most graceful, I have been sheltered most of my life, and I have spent most of my time avoiding the traits that make me a good wife.” I explained bashfully, feeling an instant comfort to say what’s on my mind and bare my soul to this man, “I am not promising to be perfect, or reasonable even, but I cannot imagine giving you anything less than everything I can give.” I let my hands trace his helmet, cementing the image in my brain lest I ever part with him.

Suddenly his hands leave my waist, they reach up to his helmet and with a hiss he removes it.

Underneath lay the most beautiful face I have ever seen. The soulful eyes that bore back into mine show the nerves he has been hiding, there were freckles dashed upon every surface of his face. A scar split the right side of his face with a violence that made me want to kiss away every fear, every trepidation, or threat from his mind until he finds himself in complete bliss. His lips were pillowed together in a small pout and his brows furrowed, waiting for my response.

“I fear you have grossly exaggerated my beauty over your own,” I speak, earning a blush dancing across his cheeks, a shy laugh even graces his demeanor. “I don’t know what I have done to please the gods to have you, but I shall thank them every waking second for it,” I spoke without even realizing I was speaking.

“May I kiss you?” He asked quietly, returning his hands to my waist. I nodded fervently and he wasted no time, pushing his lips onto my own.

The moment our lips touched it felt like I was struck by lightning. My body coursed with an invisible power that rushed through every cell of my being and bursting them. He pulled me closer so my body was tucked flush against his, he felt so solid. His hands roamed my back as his mouth opened, beckoning mine to do the same. As our kiss deepened my hands found a home in his hair.

This continued until he detached his mouth from mine and moved to my neck. I suddenly became aware of how inexperienced I was in this area. He must have sensed my discomfort because he detached himself to check my well-being.

“Are you alright?” He asked, worried he had gone too far, “Did I make you uncomfortable?”

I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder, hiding in embarrassment, “No! I, I just never…” I broke off not knowing what to say. “I’ve just always been waiting and now I don’t know what to do.” I murmured, and he wrapped around me.

“you don’t have to worry about that,” he comforted me, “We can do as much or as little as you’d like sweet girl.” He murmured the term of endearment and it set my body alight. Heat spread from my chest outwards to places I had never felt before.

“I like it when you call me that.”  I admitted to him, as he got lost in my eyes, “I’ll be your sweet girl.” He smiled at that, excited about the idea. As we lay there, under one of the sacred trees, saying nothing and everything to one another I decided there was no way I could ever be apart from this man.

“What happens now?” I asked him and suddenly there is tension again. I kick myself for making him uncomfortable, I can’t imagine how long it’s been since this man was at peace and I have ruined it.

“There is a dinner, for the festival, I would like you to join me.” He spoke slowly, waiting for my objections that he expected.

“I would love to join you but,” He tenses fully and I am quick to reassure him, “I would need to change into something nicer.” I look down at my day dress that would be inappropriate to dine in.

“you could wear any dress you like; you will still be the most beautiful person in the room.” He compliments, looking into my eyes for emphasis. His deep brown eyes were filled to the brim with adoration.

“What will we do after, after the festival, when all of the dust settles,” I asked and he got a distant smile on his face.

“Come with me,” he turned to me, his eyes young and pleading like a young boy, “I’ll show you the galaxy, keep you by my side forever, you’ll never want for anything. Come with me?” His face was open, hesitant, he was scared. He’s clearly been hurt before, he wears his feelings so blatantly, it’s a wonder he doesn’t already have someone waiting for him. My heart beats out to his, my soul intertwined forever, and my body is for the taking. I was destined for this, for him.

“Yes.” I smiled, with no doubt creeping in from my mind, “I’d follow you anywhere.”

A/N: Please be sure to reblog/like/follow if you liked this! If you want more let me know! My inbox is open for any feedback or just general friendship lol. Thanks for reading!

[hellsenthero]

An Old Song

An Old Song

Written by: Hellsenthero

Kylo X Reader oneshot

Warnings: PG+ Language. 

You've been gone on a mission for too long. Kylo deals with with it as best he can.

*****

Looking out of his bed-chamber window, Kylo’s thoughts swirled around his mind. He’d woken up in a cold sweat only an hour ago, long before dawn. His tangled sheets feeling like tight, deadly ropes that bound him up, his sleep hazed mind unable to distinguish reality from his nightmare. His breathing came heavy and fast and when his mind finally cleared enough for him to realize he was in his chambers, he’d reached across the bed in search of you. 

But you were gone. 

You’d left nearly a month ago, off for a mission that Hux had assigned to you. You weren’t supposed to be gone for this long and that had worry surging through Kylos veins at a constant rate. A week, maybe two, you’d said with a smile. I’ll be back before you know it. You told him, your hand coming up to cup his cheek. He’d pressed a firm kiss to you in goodbye before you boarded your ship. And as the doors were closing you turned around to give him one last smile and you’d said, I love you, Kylo. 

He hadn’t said it back. And it was that thought that kept swirling around in his mind as he looked out of his window, praying that at any moment he’d see you ship flying back with you safely inside of it. 

Kylo had never truly felt the need to say I love you before. He showed you instead, either by a light touch as he passed by you in the control room or by fucking you against the door of his chambers when you came back from your shift. He knew you understood, he knew you were okay with his ways of showing affection, of showing love. 

Sometimes he would contemplate saying it, for a brief moment and in those moments when you saw the gears turning in his head you’d lean in close to him and whisper, It’s okay Kylo, It’s an old song anyways. 

But now, with you gone, without having heard a single word from you for a month, he wishes he’d said I love you, just once, so you knew. 

Kylo presses his forehead against the cool window, the cold seeping into his already cooled skin, but he didn’t care. He didn’t think he’d care about much until he had you back in his arms, safe. Where no one could hurt you, no one but him could touch you and he’d be able to hear your sweet voice whisper words of affection to him. 

It was ironic really, as he’d grown up he’d come to realize that he didn’t need anyone. He didn’t need a family or friends or even a lover. Because needing someone would mean trust, it would mean trust and vulnerability and weakness. Yet here he was, breaking apart without you, because he needed you. 

It was pathetic, but again, he didn’t care. 

The sound of footsteps approaching his door had Kylo whirling around, his lightsaber fitting itself into his grip within a second. The red light filled his chambers, making it look as if it were on fire. As the door to his room slid back he raised his lightsaber--only to drop it immediately. 

Because it was you. 

He didn’t know how he hadn’t sensed it, but it was you, standing in his doorway, a small smile on your dirt-smugged face. 

It was then that he collapsed. His knees hit the floor, his head hung low as tears began to spill from his tired eyes and he lifted his arms out towards you, a silent plea for you to come into his embrace. 

“Kylo,” you whispered, as you too fell before him, your knees touching as you fit yourself into his hold. Kylo leaned into the crook of your neck, nosing and kissing your neck, cheek, jaw, ear, anything he could touch. 

“Y/N,” he whispered back. He repeated it as though a prayer. “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, you’re back, Y/N you’re back.” You nodded as you tighten your grip on him, tears of your own slipping down your dirty cheeks. 

“I’m back Kylo and I’m not going anywhere.” You told him and it was the truth. You’d never leave him, not again. Pulling away with great restraint Kylo brushed your hair out of your face as he looked into your Y/E/C eyes. 

“Y/N,” he breathed, his dark gaze not daring to look away from you for a second, “I love you.” A great, beautiful smile broke out on your face as you looked at him. 

“I know.” You say before kissing him. 

[a-dorin]

afraid | kylo ren

word count: 1,062

warnings: angst, a nightmare, followed by intense fluff

a/n: i recommend listening to afraid by the neighbourhood while reading this! it really encapsulates the tone of the imagine. 

summary: you realize that you’re trapped within a nightmare, unable to escape. however, once you are jolted awake, your fears are brought to light, leaving kylo to save the day. 

blinking open your eyes, the room was filled with bright, warm light. you rubbed your eyes, shaking your aching head slightly. the pain was in the front of your temple, just above your left brow. you inferred that it must have been from a fall somewhere. however, you weren’t quite sure where you landed. however, you realized you were sitting in a crowd, other people surrounding you, their eyes intent on a sight straight ahead. 

a quiet gasp escaped your lips when you noticed the scene unfolding before you. right before your eyes, stood you lover, kylo ren, adorned in an imperial red cape, midnight black cowl and tunic covering the rest of his upper half. his typical belt was replaced by one with a first order signet engraved on the buckle. medals decorated a red sash stretching across his chest. his raven locks, usually messy, were contained. his dark eyes were not focused on you, but rather a woman approaching him. 

a horrible, catastrophic feeling racked your being, as you realized you were sitting at a wedding ceremony. your stomach twisted into a knot, your heart almost shattering, pain radiating through your chest. tears streamed down your face uncontrollably, splattering onto your thighs. your feet itched to move, to launch you from your seat, but you were frozen in place. 

“no,” you whispered, as the woman faced kylo, her eyes shimmering with adoration, “no, no, no.” 

the woman was rey, the scavenger from jakku. a white, silky robe hugged her body, embroidered with crimson designs. her lush brown hair fell past her shoulders like a waterfall, bouncing as she moved. her pale skin glowed as she gazed at kylo, her aura warm with happiness. a large grin stretched across kylo’s face as he took her hands into his, staring at her lovingly. 

it was almost as if your deepest insecurities, buried within your self-consciousness were unearthed in a twisted, horrifying vision. the worst aspect of this was that you couldn’t establish the difference between fantasy and reality. was this real? or was this some fucked-up nightmare?  

“kylo!” your voice was filled to the brim with desperation, but you were mute as the ceremony continued, “please, kylo! stop!”

rey’s head snapped in your direction, a deviant smirk on her face, “i won, (y/n), and you lost. he’s mine now, and you’re pitiful for thinking that you even had a chance.” 

you squirmed in your seat, the movements hopeless as hot tears spilled down your cheeks. you shook your head, repeating over and over that this wasn’t real, it was just a nightmare. it was just a nightmare. it wasn’t real. 

“(y/n)?” the sound of your name filled your ears as you sat up with a jolt, clutching your chest. your sobs echoed through the quiet room, feeling arms wrap around your body.

“(y/n),” kylo attempted to soothe you, his embrace warm as he peppered gentle kisses on your forehead, “are you all right angel?”

hesitantly, you glanced up, your (e/c) eyes locking with his gaze. you didn’t have to utter a single word and kylo knew, his mocha eyes softening, “you had a nightmare, didn’t you?”

“more like a night terror,” you sighed, “it was awful.”

“do you want to talk about it?” kylo whispered, concern within his features. 

“it’s nothing,” you mumbled, averting his stare.

“you were screaming and crying,” kylo remarked, his voice soft, “i’m right here, and you’re safe, i promise.”

“it wasn’t death or anything,” new tears brimmed your eyelids as you recalled the nightmare, “it involved you.”

“you know i would never hurt you,” his words filled your ears, “i could never.”

“you married rey,” the words were so quiet kylo could barely hear them. 

he blinked, realizing that it the nightmare was a reflection of one of your insecurities. even though you were in a relationship with kylo, deeply connected to him, you were not force sensitive. whenever rey’s name was mentioned, you stiffened, as you were insecure of their force bond. no matter how many times kylo reassured you that he would never leave you, the fear still remained buried within your thoughts. 

“(y/n),” kylo began, pulling you closer to his body, “i love you more than anything in this universe. often, i despise that the force connected me with rey, as i wish it was with you instead. i cannot help that. however, i want you to know that given the choice, i would choose you over her every single time. i’m so deeply in love with you, i’m not sure if i could ever stop. you’re my soul mate, (y/n), and i want to keep loving you with everything in me. i’m right here, and i am never leaving your side. i’m yours, till my last dying breath. i can promise you that.” 

his words left you speechless, as kylo was never once to express his emotions. sure, you were well aware of his affection, but never had he exposed his true feelings like this. you swallowed the lump in your throat, squeezing his hand gently, “i love you too, kylo. i’m so happy that you’re mine. you keep me sane and give me everything. you make me whole. thank you for never abandoning me. i appreciate you and your words more than you know. i want to be yours forever.” 

kylo chuckled softly, pressing another tender kiss to your temple, “i promise you that we’re never going to split apart.” 

“will you hold me again if i have another nightmare?” a wave of drowsiness hit you, your eyelids fluttering. 

“i’ll hold you all night angel,” kylo gave you a small smile. 

you laid down, kylo wrapping his arms around your frame. it didn’t take long before you dozed off, your chest rising and falling steadily. kylo remained awake, waiting for sleep to take over you. to him, you were perfect, and no woman could ever take your place. 

“i love you,” kylo whispered, his voice low. 

“i love you too,” you mumbled, your voice thick with sleep.

“get some rest angel,” a large grin enveloped his face, “i’m not far behind you.”

at last, kylo drifted off, holding you tightly against his chest, a warm feeling seeping into his chest. 

you were going to be the death of him, and he was quite content with that.

[itsoutrageouss]

LOST MY MIND || KYLO REN

Summary: You’re working on the finalizer, suffering from cold and lonley nights- wishing for a special someone to be by your side. Maybe you’ll get one step further?

Word count: 2,2k

A.N: first imagine on here! Kinda nervous ngl. Also this is inspired by ‘lost my mind’ by FINNEAS

~

The nights were long. Too long.

Laying cold and empty in a black void, no light seeping from no windows.

No white noise.

And no body next to yours. No one to warm you. No one to make you feel whole.

At this point, you wouldn’t mind whoever was next to you. A stranger. An enemy.

Just someone to hold you when you’re scared.

And you’re often scared.

Because this is a big an cold galaxy. An unfair place where you don’t have that;. A place.

You want something more than this. Than working on a ship. You’re a nobody.

If you died, who’d know? Who’d care?

You know you can do something greater, but you have nowhere to show or prove it.

So you lay, cold and lonely every night. Crying for something to grasp and feel. Something to believe in.

This was another night like this.

But something changed. You weren’t just hoping for anyone next to you. You found yourself wishing for a special pair of arms. A special persons breath on your hair, and the slow risings of his chest.

You widened your eyes. Why him?

The sudden urge to have Kylo Ren’s arms around you, felt so exposing. Vulnerable.

You never thought of the Supreme Leader that way. But his face has flashed before your eyes before, and it was like you knew him in some way. Felt awfully comfortable with the otherwise intimidating man. This was a whole unexplored territory, and it felt so dangerous. Yet so comfortable.

The tears stopped.

The rest of the nights were harder. You saw him everyday. You needed him. You could never.

You were mad, that you couldn’t help him, because you knew. You knew he was torn, and breaking slowly. And maybe in some way, you understood him more than others. But he would never let you speak to him. How you were stuck in this awful place with the only person you needed to stay away from.

The tears started again.

~

You were walking down the long halls of the finalizer, a cold and empty eerie falling over it. That was because it was early. Earlier than early. Later than late. You didn’t know just how late or how early. But enough for the last generals to have gone to bed, and for the stormtroopers to not yet have woken up.

Your hair is disheveled, eyes bloodshot from terror. When you finally fell asleep the nightmares grasped. They seemed all to real. Kylo Ren. Snoke. He talked to you. To you. Told you that you were to be careful about Kylo. You asked him what he meant, and he just smiled a nasty smile.

He seemed all too friendly for what you’ve heard of him. But you’re sure it’s all a mask. Behind it he has a sneaky surprise. But it was just a dream right?

Yet it kept you up. Woke you sweating and anxious. So without thinking, you got dressed and left your chamber. Where you were going, you didn’t know. You needed light. Some kind of light source, brighter than the milky rays from the dim stars splattered across the galaxy. You kept walking, until you stumbled upon a room. A new kind of room. You felt something coming from inside it. Something strong. And dangerous.

Your curiosity gave in, but you immediately saw the code on the door. Dammit. You bit your lip, thinking of a way in. It was like you had to. It was urgent.

You were about to try to to randomly type, as the doors hiss open. Your eyes are met with another hall. Slick, white walls and doors on the side. You silently walk in, feet cold on the white floor. It was a contrast to the pitchblack finalizer halls, and the light was bright. Just like you needed it to be.

You felt it again. Pulling so urgently in your gut. The first door. It opened just like the first one. Your breath hitched in your throat, and you knew you were in dangerous waters. You shouldn’t be here.

A black, melted mask neatly placed on a pedestal.

“Darth Vader” you mutter with wide eyes. You were so far in this, you might as well look closer.

You glide down the few steps, and up close to the mask. The curled up material, matte yet shiny.

“Help me” you croaked, looking into the black holes.

“You were good once, weren’t you? What happened?” in hope, you place a hand on the cold mask. A force surges through your veins, shooting to your brain.

“What are you doing?” A sharp voice sounds behind you, and you jerk your hand away, turning around in a jump.

Kylo Ren.

“I-” You had no words. How could you explain how you ended up here. Had he heard what you just said? Was he gonna kill you?

“I’m not gonna kill you” No smile. Cold expression, as he walked down in the room. You stood frozen next to the mask, like another sculpture. He walked closer, yet stood far. Like a hunter observing his prey.

You better shut up your thoughts, because he could clearly hear them.

“Why are you down here?” he had many questions, but he limited himself.

“I couldn’t sleep- and- and something just lead me here” you hated how foolish it sounded, but you couldn't lie to him. His presence made your heart race rapidly, your nerves twitch and palms sweaty, like he saw right through you

“Lead you here, you say?” he made a curious grimace, pacing around the room.

“Yes” you peep, following his moves intently.

“You’re in my quarters” he stops to look at your reaction. Your eyes widen, heart jumping out of your chest. You walked into Kylo Ren's quarters like some kind of blind idiot.

“How did you get through the doors?” he was too tired to probe your mind, and he knew that you wouldn’t lie to him, somehow.

“They just opened for me. I’m sorry supreme leader, i’ll leave immediately” despite the questions burning in your throat, fear crippled over you. And respect for authority.

You look shamefully to your toes, walking with quick steps towards the door. But you take a halt in your exit, as his voice yet again seeps through your skin.

“No. Stay” his voice was low, whispering. Yet you heard it echoing in your body.

He knew why you were dragged here. He knew. But he wouldn’t tell you just yet. Not before he knew who he was talking to. Really knew. With a little intimidation game, like he was so good at.

You slowly turn your head, without moving you body. You weren’t completely sure he meant it, and you didn’t wanna be so foolish to think he didn’t want you to leave.

“You don’t think im serious?” he held the slightest of an amused tone, but not enough for you to believe it was true.

“I don’t understand is more like it’ you bit your tongue for not just staying shut.

‘What’s your name girl?’ The way he talked down to you made you feel even more petty, as you stood on the first step.

‘Harlow’ you meet his eyes, feeling a surging again, stronger than before. His lips part slightly, with a shaky jaw.

‘Harlow’ he ponders, furrowing his brows as he takes a few steps closer. You gulp, now looking anywhere other than at him.

‘Am I the reason you cry at night?’

The question took away the air in your lungs, and took you by utter surprise. How did he know?

He saw your clearly shocked reaction with slight amusement, but seriousness quickly fell over his features again, his eyes meeting yours as he awaits an answer.

You wanted to ask him what he meant- pretending dumb. But you knew he wasn’t just that.

“No” yet you couldn’t manage to utter the truth, even if you knew deep down that he knew the answer as well. He took in a breath, finally closing the gap between you deliberately.

Inches.

You looked at his feet. Black boots. Tried focusing on the black boots. Not his intense stare, or the heavy risings of his chest. Just the black boots.

“You’re afraid.” he stated with a slight head nod. It scared you how much he knew. Because you didn’t know just how much. You diverted your shameful stare to his.

Looking between each of his eyes. “I don’t know what to do.” you admitted, with the peek of a sheepish smile. How foolish you were. Idiotic even.

His face was still, but his eyes kept moving between yours. Searching them, as he looked down at you between heavy breaths.

“Am I in your head?” you asked due to the silence. And to the random boost of confidence you gained from absolutely nowhere.

You glanced over at the melted mask. Like he was watching the two of you.

“Like you’re in mine?” this moment was so intimate, and so exposing, why not make it worse already?

You could tell he was caught of guard by your sudden candid exterior, by the way his jaw trembled slightly as he shut it tight, and his head raised a little above yours, so did his eyes.

“I can hear you. At night. Your thoughts. You’re stuck in my head” he tried not to falter his confidence, but you felt the hint of vulnerability peek in his tone.

The answer was to your surprise. In some way you had felt it, but always thought it was your imagination. Because-

“-Why?” Now he was the one to avert his eyes, looking just above your head.

He pondered. Pondered if he should tell you now, or if it would all be to much. Because in some way he cared. In some way, he cared if you’d start crying again like he’d heard all those nights. And the truth was that his heart was aching at your sobs- because he understood just how you felt. Sometimes he didn’t even know if he just projected his feelings onto you- or you were just this similar.

“Come” he glanced at you, before leaving the room.

You hesitated, glancing back at the mask. You felt something so powerful radiate from it. Something so fearful and safe. And torn. It almost made you tear up.

You obeyed him finally, and followed him to the long hall again. White, clean walls.

He walked to the door at the end, slightly bigger than the others around. He waved his hand in a simple movement and the door opened. You were already in awe of his power.

You followed him into the room. Big.

Black, in contrary to the rest. A bed. Black silk sheets. A bookshelf. A dresser. Another door.

It was simple.

You wanted to ask him more questions, just like he wanted to ask you. But you both decided to hold them in- because something told you this wouldn’t be the last time you got to talk.

“You can sleep in here. I don’t want to hear you cry again” it may have sounded like a command. But his eyes told you it wasn’t. He really couldn’t stand hearing you scared or hurt anymore.

You stood in a wavering silence, as his eyes searched yours with that same look. Before he left you alone.

Your curiosity made your feet walk, and you tiptoed to the books. Sith books. None of the jedi. Your hands delicately stroked the covers, before you went to the dresser. Most of the clothes was black. Some heavy armor, some leather, some black shirts.

Closed it neatly again, and went to the door on the opposite side of the bed. It opened easily, and behind it was another white room. A refresher. Smelled clean, yet with the hint of a scent you couldn’t quite recall.

You didn’t want to seem foolish but.. did he just ask you to stay here? in his quarters? not that you mind, but why? He was a man you might never figure out. But you’d try.

Suddenly the lack of sleep wailed over you, and your legs could barely hold you. For a second you thought about just leaving. But the truth was, you really didn’t want to. He might not be beside you, but he’d be near, you knew. You felt it.

You crawled under the sheets, still in the clothes you quickly put on before leaving your chamber. They smelled like him, and you seeped into the soft mattress, the silk embracing your skin. This felt much warmer than your chamber, and a wholesomeness filled you. Safety. If you were to cry, it would be happy tears.

You finally let your shoulders ease, and the breath you’d been holding since you saw his face, out. You could feel him roaming your mind, and how close he was. Maybe just in the next room.

Thank you.

You thought. Loud and clear.

He didn’t reply, but it was almost as if you could see his face before you, a light smile forming on his lips. A soft smile.

But you might’ve lost your mind, because how much of this was real and what wasn’t?

[kylo-ren-writes]

Obsessed

Masterlist

Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader

Request: anon requested:

“Hello, can I please request a fic where Kylo is in love with the reader and a little bit obsessed with her (but not too creepy) they're good friends but she hadn't thought of him like that until one day she gets a bit beaten up in a fight, Kylo senses her pain and is already there to comfort her when she gets back to her quarters which then leads to some soft, fluffy smut?”

Warnings: love sick Kylo?, soft Kylo, No smut but a little action ;), fluff-ish, Kylo’s PoV-ish

A/N: For some reason I wrote this in Kylo’s point of view (sort of), but I hope that is alright! I’m actually quite proud of this request, so I hope you guys enjoy it! (Gif not mine!)

It wasn’t like he was obsessed with you.

Kylo watched carefully, from where he stood with General Hux, as you spoke with another high ranking officer that was not him.

No, Kylo wasn’t obsessed with you. He was just... mildly... attached. The two of you were friends. Are friends, good friends. Great friends. Kylo doesn’t have any other friends, just you. But he doesn’t mind.

You stand a medium-length distance away, far enough to where he can’t hear your conversation, but close enough to where it wouldn’t look too odd if someone were to notice him staring.

Kylo can’t help but stare.

Today your hair is down rather than up, and it is taking all the restraint (he doesn’t have much) and willpower (not much of this, either) that Kylo has to not abandon the cool toned general beside him to run his gloved fingers through your hair--No, no, he would take his gloves off for that.

Kylo would, he really would march on over to you and remove his leather gloves just so he could feel each strand of hair against his fingers. And he would do it without a single care or damn of what anyone on this command bridge thought of him. Kylo is the Supreme Leader after all, no one could say a word, verbally or mentally about it, with the fear of being punished for it.

The knowledge of that kind of power nearly curls the corner of his lips up into a smirk. Nearly. There is no helmet to hide the shift in emotion, however, and Kylo has to get used to schooling his expressions. It’s not that hard. All he has to do is copy General Hux.

But no, Kylo doesn’t abandon General Hux to go run his fingers through your, no doubtfully, soft hair because of one painful reason: You don’t reciprocate Kylo’s feelings for you.

Well, actually, Kylo has never expressed how he feels for you to you. But he doesn’t have to. As a force user, Kylo is very in tuned to the emotions of the people around him (unfortunately, most times), so he knows what people are feeling. When he is around you, he can sense that normal dose of affection that one has for a friend, but that’s all. Kylo doesn’t have to pry himself into your mind or listen to those thoughts you emit without knowing to know that you don’t feel any physical attraction for him.

The whole idea is depressing, really, but Kylo has known it for a while. He’s still holding out hope that you will someday see him differently, but he’s never been a hopeful person by nature. Besides, your friendship is still enough. Or at least that is what he tells himself.

Kylo isn’t sure how long he’s been staring at you, or rather, how long he’s been zoned out at the thought of touching your hair for, because you’re no longer where you were standing.

Panic seizes his heart, a weight pressing down on his chest as Kylo snaps out of his daze and scans over the bridge, looking for you. Searching. What has him still rooted to his spot rather than walking around the command bridge is the feel of you still here. He can sense that you haven’t left, that you’re still here somewhere, he just has to find you--

A tap on one of his broad shoulders makes Kylo flinch and whip around to see you, and suddenly his chest feels so much lighter. His lips part in exhalation of a relieved sigh as he glances down at you.

You’re here. You’re safe.

“I’m going to clock out for the day,” you say to him as you look up at him with a bright smile.

Kylo barely manages a nod. The need to touch you is nearly overwhelming him.

You furrow your brows at him, concerned for the obviously distracted man before you. He is one of your closest friends. “Kylo, are you alright?” You ask him as you bring your hand down to touch one of his clenched fists.

Your touch is what finally brings him back to the present. All of his panic leaves his mind and body, and he is left to relish in your touch, relaxed by the warmth that is seeping through the leather glove to kiss his skin. If only it were your lips. But that would be a rather strange place to kiss someone.

“Kylo?”

Kylo pulls himself out of his thoughts and nods. “Sorry, I was just... thinking,” he replies gruffly. He doesn’t mean to, it’s just his normal deep, tone.

Your eyebrows relax and a soft smile lifts up the corners of your mouth. “Yeah, you seemed pretty zoned out,” you tease him. You’re probably the only person on this entire star destroyer (and most likely the galaxy) brave enough to tease the moody man.

General Hux has gone, Kylo notices for the first time. He doesn’t know when he left, but he’s happy for Hux’s absence now.

“It was rather... important,” Kylo says vaguely. You’re important to him, very important.

“Mmhm, I’m sure it was. But anyway, I’m clocking out.” You let go of his hand. Kylo tried not to frown. ”I think I’m going to go train before dinner.”

Kylo only nodded. He was the one who encouraged you to train from the start so he could feel better about you being alone. He wanted to train with you now, but you hadn’t invited him. He had work to do anyway.

You offer Kylo one last smile before you turn to go, walking down the bridge and out. He couldn’t help but watch you as you left, sighing deeply to himself.

Kylo Ren was maybe a little bit obsessed with you.

An hour or two had passed when Kylo decided he had had enough of General Hux and every officer that he tried to deal with. For some reason, Kylo was trying not to take out his anger on people and unsuspecting control panels. He’d decided shortly after becoming Supreme Leader that it was something he should work on. He wanted to be taken more seriously rather than seen as some tantrum prone child. However, as he walked down a hallway, he was finding it hard to think of a reason as to why that was a good idea in the first place. It was so damn easy to just let go rather than hold in all of that unsuspecting anger and built up rage.

What Kylo really wanted to do was be with you. He would give anything at this moment to lie in bed with you and to just... cuddle. Kylo didn’t cuddle, or at least he’s never cuddled with anyone before, but he would cuddle with you. He would enjoy cuddling with you. He could just imagine the anger bleeding out of him slowly as you lied in his arms, your fingers running through his dark hair. His body would completely engulf yours, you so small and fragile, wrapped up in his muscular body. Kylo could imagine it.

He walked with long strides, usual clenched fists at his sides. Any and all officers, and stormtroopers, moved aside for their Supreme Leader. Kylo was powerful, and he could have nearly anything he wanted, but he couldn’t have you. The thought depressed him.

Having all the power in the galaxy meant nothing if he couldn’t have you. No matter how dramatic that seemed, it was true. As much as Kylo enjoyed being the Supreme Leader of the First Order and having power over everyone and everything, he felt empty. He felt like--

Kylo suddenly stopped, his tirade of depressing thoughts seizing. He could feel what every single person around him was feeling and he was blocking out most of their thoughts, but he always listened to you, and right now you were so loud to him...

Pain. Kylo could feel your pain. All physical and no tears, but he could feel it so, so clearly. Like the pain was his own. That was enough to get his legs moving again, his strides longer and more hurried than before. The first place he thought of were your quarters, and it took everything in him not to run there and cause a scene.

Why were you in pain? What was causing your pain? Kylo’s eyes burned with momentary fury. He would find whoever inflicted this pain upon you and hurt them. He would make them pay. He would protect you. But first he needed to find you.

Kylo knew where your quarters were, the way to them were ingrained in his mind. But even so, it felt like it was taking forever as he walked, nearly jogging, as he turned down different hallways to get where he needed to be. Everyone kept out of his way, not wanting to get in the way of Kylo’s potential, and most definite, wrath.

Finally, but not soon enough, Kylo turned down the hallway where your room was. He was nearly in a panic when he approached the blastdoor, so caught up in the thought that you were in pain that he failed to realize that you weren’t even inside. It wasn’t until he used the force to open the blastdoor, stepped inside, and looked around that he realized his mistake.

Kylo had never been inside your quarters before. It looked different than his (obviously) but were the standard regulation style rooms the First Order provided to its officers. Yours were a little nicer since you were higher ranking. But even still, yours were different because of the fact that it was you living in it.

Another panic pressed at Kylo’s chest, realizing that he was inside your room, where you lived. Uninvited. All he could do was stand still as his eyes glanced around your room. It was neat and tidy and there weren’t many personal belongings, but it was yours. Since Kylo wasn’t too creepy, he withheld from touching any of your things. He’d already crossed a line.

A sound from the doorway behind him interrupted his gawking.

Kylo turned around, stopping once his eyes fell on you standing within the doorway, staring at him. His jaw worked, trying to come up with the reason as to why he was in your room. It wouldn’t come to him, however. At least not until you opened your mouth.

“Kylo..?” You asked, dumbfounded. Your voice sounded a tad strained, and your mouth was pulled down in a defeated frown.

Kylo remembered.

Rushing towards you, Kylo engulfed you into his arms without thinking, lifting you up against his chest. “I sensed your pain. I could feel it. You’re hurt, where are you hurt?” He asked frantically, pulling back slightly so he could look at you.

You winced slightly, but the wild look on Kylo’s face made you raise your eyebrows in slight surprise. “I’m o-okay,” you stutter, “just a little beaten up from training.” You offer him a weak smile.

Beaten up was an understatement. You had gotten your ass kicked and handed to you, over and over again at training. It left you drained and exhausted, and bruised in almost every area.

Kylo frowned and shook his head, hugging you to him. He turned and carried you over to your bed. It was smaller than his, but big enough that two people could lie on it. “Getting beat up is not training,” Kylo emphasized as he carefully set you down.

Somehow that sounded strange coming from him. “Wouldn’t you push yourself that hard? Haven’t you?”

Kylo looked down at you, almost wincing at your comments, but also at the bruise on your cheek. He brought his hand down to stroke it gently, concern pulling at his features. “I’m different.”

“You certainly are,” you tease, then wince as Kylo’s fingers brush over your bruised cheek.

Kylo could smile at how you still tease him even though you are clearly in pain and uncomfortable. Instead, he kneels down onto the bed as you lie back, you trying your hardest not to wince as the mattress presses into the multitude of bruises spanning the back side of your body.

“You should be in the medbay, not here,” Kylo comments as he comes near you.

You sigh and shake your head. “Can’t do much for bruises.”

Kylo frowns. His hand is stroking at a bruise on your right arm. “But you can do something for the pain.”

This time you look at him, up at him. Kylo is so close to you, on your bed, in your room. He’s closer than he’s ever been before. Why does he care so much? You’re friends with him, close friends. But not even your closest friends on the finalizer would care this much and be this... intimate.

“Kylo.” His attention diverts from your arm, looking at your face. “Why are you here? Why are you in my room?” You ask. You aren’t upset, only curious.

But you watch as Kylo presses his lips into a line and as his eyes flicker away. “I could sense your pain... I... I had to find you, to make sure you were okay.”

It’s the answer to the questions you had asked, but yet it’s not an answer you were looking for. “Well... thank you. Having a force sensitive friend has it’s benefits, I suppose...”

You’re obviously teasing, or trying to, Kylo can hear it in your tone, but being referred to as a “friend” makes his heart ache. “The medbay has medication you can take for the pain,” he reverts back to the original topic.

You groan, the thought of trudging yourself all the way up to the medbay painful in itself. “I’d rather not...”

Kylo shifts closer to you, maneuvering his body, and placing one hand on the other side of your body near your right bicep. His eyes bore into your own and you unconsciously hold your breath. It hurts to breathe anyway.

He’s looking at you like you are his only concern. As if he doesn’t have an entire Order to take care of, to lead, resting on his strong shoulders and awaiting his return. His shoulders do look strong, they are strong, as you shift your gaze down to them. Powerful shoulders with muscled and equally as powerful arms attached. Arms, you realize, that are caging you in now, not that you would have moved anyway. And then a thought occurs to you. Finally occurs to you. That look, the way Kylo’s looking at you, is the very same way he always looks at you all the time. On the command bridge while you follow an order, or in the hallway as you walk side by side, and now, while he stares down at you and you up at him, in this intimate position on your bed, in your room.

“Kylo...” you whisper. It comes out thickly and almost choked. You can’t believe it had never occurred to you before. How could you not see? How could you be so blind?

Kylo nods slowly, so slowly, as if he had heard your thoughts, your realizations, your revelations. He probably had. But you can’t find an ounce of anger or annoyance to throw at him for the invasion of privacy.

“Kylo,” you say again, this time more strong and controlled as your eyes scan his... beautiful face. Yes, it’s beautiful, you realize. He’s beautiful. Kylo is so, so beautiful. This revelation is less shocking to you, however.

You notice he’s brought his face down closer to yours, his eyes glancing at your lips then back up at your eyes.

“Take away my pain,” you whisper, so quietly that if he weren’t so close to you now that he wouldn’t have heard it.

His lips are on yours in seconds. There isn’t an ounce of hesitation from him. He’s finally getting what he wants, what he’s wanted for forever.

Kylo’s lips are warm and soft against yours, plush even. But that’s no surprise considering the fullness of the mouth that is on yours. It takes you too long to close your eyes and kiss him back, but when you do, Kylo groans into the kiss, like this is something he’s been waiting forever for. And he has.

You stay unmoving beneath him, other than your lips working against his. It hardly occurs to you who you are kissing. The man you are kissing. You’re kissing Kylo Ren, but the rest doesn’t occur to you; Who he is, what he’s done, the fact that he holds all the power of the entire galaxy in his hands... and now you.

Kylo brings his hand to your face, cupping your cheek, the one that is not injured, and deepens the kiss. He’s so gentle for a man like him. Far more gentle than you would have imagined. But then again, you are injured.

When he slowly pulls his mouth away, you miss the warmth of it, but he’s quick to plant a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

You smile when he does. You can’t help it.

Kylo delicately kisses your bruised cheek then presses another kiss to your chin.

You open your eyes, glancing at him as his mouth moves down, lower to your chest. There are bruises on your shoulders and chest, one on your neck. He sees it, his mouth and tongue caressing your bruised skin, and you tilt your head back to allow him better access to it.

He’s so gentle and soft. You bring your hand up to his head, fingers lacing through his thick, dark hair.

Kylo groans again. This is far better than anything he could have imagined. Your fingers in his hair are divine. He’s wanted this for so, so long. He can hardly believe that you are actually giving it to him.

You bite at your bottom lip at the sounds of his groans and stroke his hair, tangling your fingers within the dark locks, and loving the sounds you are eliciting from this large man above you.

“Only you could do this to me...” he mumbles against your neck.

The sound of his voice almost startles you. You don’t offer him a reply. Instead, you bring your other hand up and wrap it around the back of his neck, pulling him to you.

“Just you... only you...” Kylo mumbles more, burying his handsome face against the side of your neck that isn’t bruised. He’s careful not to rest the full of his weight on you as you hug him.

Your hand runs over the clothed planes of his muscled back, going up, up into his hair, then down again, repeating the motion over again, and again.

“I never considered...” you trail off, not entirely sure what to say to him. You don’t want to ruin this moment. But you don’t have to worry about that.

“I know,” Kylo agrees. Knows. But of course he does.

He’s carefully holding you, trying so hard not to hurt you. But you wouldn’t have cared much if he accidentally had.

You smile and stroke his hair. “But I do now.” You glance at him. “I see you, and... I want you...”

Kylo nearly stiffens over top of you, but instead he smiles against your skin. It’s a genuine smile, something rare from him. You want to see it.

Your hands are lifting up his face, revealing a soft smile. It’s so beautiful. “You never smile,” you tease.

His eyebrows twitch inwards briefly, his smile transforming into a quirk. Amused. “I do.”

“Smirking doesn’t count.” You scoff playfully.

Kylo leans his face in closer. You can already tell what he wants. “Sure it does,” he muses, smirking to make a point. His smirk is just as beautiful, you decide, and then you’re pulling his face back down to yours, kissing him.

Never in your life would you have considered this powerful, beautiful man above you would want you. It had never been a thought, or a consideration. But you know now. Oh, do you know now. Kylo wants you, and you want him, and that thought is the most exciting and invigorating thought you have ever happened upon in your life.

Kylo Ren is completely and utterly in love with you.

[amphibiad]

"Hey Kylo, I'm feeling a bit anxious and a little bit sad, would you mind helping to cheer me up a bit? I was thinking maybe we could cuddle and watch something funny" -🎀

“I’m right here for you, baby.” he says taking your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Go pick a movie, and I’ll order us some take out. Does that sound good?”