#softie rambles

[thesoftieanon]

My thoughts on the new update

[thesoftieanon]

Hi there, Softie

I'm not sure if you request at this time

((You're free to ignore or delete this))

Can I request a headcanon of hesper & time?

If Time and Hesper ever got into an Orpheus situation, Time wouldn't have to look back.

Because Hesper would be scolding him and cursing him out loudly the entire walk from the Underworld.

"You left our children to risk your life trying to get me back?! Several Greek expletives are thrown at him Did you even leave anyone to watch them, you know what happens when the twins are left in charge!"

"No, darling, I did not leave the twins in charge. Softie and the Fierce Diety are watching them."

"That's even worse!!"

Oh, and he's responding at normal volume. She can't actually hear it. But she knows him so well she just knows what he's saying and responds accordingly.

"How did you even get past my mother?!"

"Don't worry about it."

"Link."

"Agapi."

"... Don't you Agapi me!"

And before you think she's actually mad at him, as soon as they're out, she turns him around so she can kiss him.

She loves her stupid old man.

[thesoftieanon]

I have a question for you if your okay with it.

What type of wedding dresses would be perfect for Hesper and telepath ?

Hesper would wear her armor to her own fricking wedding but luckily she has an adopted niece to convince her otherwise so Time is in for a very lovely surprise

Her dress has very heavy Greek inspo, naturally

Telepath has no money or fancy clothes to speak of, but neither Wars nor Artemis are going to let that slide (and they admittedly are very excited about the diadem to go with the matching suit with Wars)

But I would be remiss to not mention the Soldier! Telepath AU, where Telepath married Wars in their uniform because they used their powers to shove Cia out of his head out of pure spite

Naturally, Wars found the nearest chaplain and married them on the spot

[thesoftieanon]

Oh btw @cafecourage has a book here's the website

No one expects to die. No one also expects to be reincarnated into the body of a ten year old, who was the villain of your favorite video ga

[thesoftieanon]

@luimagines

Time always kneels when giving Reader flowers because Warriors taught him to.

[thesoftieanon]

Man idk how many of y'all play Dreamlight Valley but imagine bringing THAT logic into LU

Like they need to make something and you're like

"Okay so with my magic, I can do that with some flowers, a gem, and a chili pepper."

"..."

"... Idk how it works either."

But at the same time

Road is blocked by a tree stump

And you just- shovel it out of existence

You can't tell me they wouldn't lose it because THEY NEED POWER BRACELETS MEANWHILE YOU GOT A SHOVEL?? THATS IT??

AND WHAT IS FEEDING THE INFINITE WATER INTO YOUR CAN-

I'll do a Dreamlight Valley! Reader, someone stop me-

[thesoftieanon]

Alright so Dreamlight Valley Reader! I’m gonna try not to spoil too much because I know not everyone has finished the game or has the DLC, plus I want non-players to be able to follow along!

The Basics!

So Dreamlight Valley is Disney and Gameloft’s take on a farming simulator. There are Disney characters you can unlock as friends and neighbors, and they range from Mickey Mouse to Ursula. Yes you can befriend villains, don’t worry about how they’re alive now, it’s Disney

Because it’s a farming simulator, you can obviously grow and farm things, but you can also fish, mine, craft, cook, landscape, play dress-up- there’s a lot okay XD Lemme focus on the important things

Reader has something called Royal Tools that allow them to do things. These tools consist of a watering can, a pickaxe, a shovel, a fishing rod, and a phone (yes you heard me). These need to be upgraded to max potential during the game, but even at base mode they are unbreakable. The watering can never runs out of water, and the phone never runs out of battery. For simplicity’s sake Reader is just gonna have them maxed out already.

The big problem of Dreamlight Valley is Night Thorns; magic purple thorns that cause Reader and the villagers to forget things. They can only be cleared by Dreamlight Magic; magic only Reader has. The magic has a recharge bar like Hyrule’s, but it can be replenished with food, having a seat, or instant refilled by going home. Obviously Reader will not have home access so options are food and rest. Better quality food = more energy

Reader also has a shadow problem. They cause the Thorns. I can’t delve into that because major spoilers. If you wanna know go play the game :3

Dreamlight Valley is a kingdom, they used to have a Ruler but they disappeared. I don’t think it’s spoilers to say who the Ruler is (the tools are literally called Royal Tools), but it is spoilers to say how exactly we got here. Also Reader doesn’t remember.

More on the Dreamlight Magic! It also helps Reader complete tasks for the villagers, but as one can guess by the name, it’s dream magic and doesn’t function on logic. Reader could need something as simple as three flowers or as convoluted and specific as a picture of an animal that only shows up every third Friday night (the game functions on irl time and no, you can’t pull an Animal Crossing and time travel).

Okay so I think that covers all the baseline things you need to know, feel free to tell me if you think I missed something! Specifics!

What the actual frick is Reader’s magic. Legend has been in dream worlds before and not even he can make sense of this. Hyrule is also extremely confused. How does an iron bar and two flowers make a microphone??

They’re gonna need to teach Reader how to fight because despite the high population of villains where they’re from, they don’t really encounter physical fights. Not to say they aren’t fit, they’re literally a farmer, fisherman, miner, constantly running around the valley dealing with everything-

I repeat, a log falls in the path and Reader simply digs up and it turns into a bunch of wood they later use at camp. Legend didn’t even have time to grab his bracelets and he is losing it

Because Reader can do all of these things with their tools the Chain thinks they're actually really strong. But they have absolutely no way of proving it because there isn't a time Reader isn't using their tools for something

Warriors wants to know how they do their hair so fast. Like- it’s always perfect?? And they can just change the color and style whenever they want?? THE CLOTHES TOO?? He has hair and fit envy.

Four would like to know how the Tools were crafted. Maybe he can replicate the process and Wild will finally have a sword he can’t break.

Wild enjoys cooking with them. They share recipes.

Oh my goodness Reader introduces them all to cake because that doesn’t exist in canon-

Wild also relates to the gaps in memory because. Y’know. Amnesia.

Introducing the Chain to Disney characters would be very interesting

Don’t let Wild or Wind near Stitch

Idk what else to add so that’ll be it for now but please share thoughts!

[thesoftieanon]

Is it alright to do a request on a headcanon on mafia four and the colors like to platonic to crushing to dating?

The colors don't really exist in the Mafia AU but OH BOY LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT FOUR-

He met you in a flower shop (yes I am flower shop au'ing the mafia au)

It all went downhill from there

You just clicked so nicely, and it took him a hot second to realize he was in love

By then it was too late

He should tell you

He should REALLY tell you

Both about his crush AND his job

But you say/do something and he just- forgets

Legend keeps getting after him for it

You think he works at a gun shop

And, well... you're not wrong, per se

Worst excuses for why he's coming to you with bruises and cuts

"I uhhh slammed my hand in a door"

If you like him back, he doesn't notice

He's so dense, help him

He keeps chickening out of confessing and it's been happening for literal months now

Chances are you both blurt it out one day and realize you're both horribly dense

Or worse

You date his rival, Vaati

And while the man will treat you right at first, he has a temper problem

Four will have to come rescue you

So don't date Vaati, alright?

Literally will not tell you he's mafia until he has no choice, even while you are dating-

Like you have to either be in danger or figure it out and confront him

He would've told you sooner but your kisses make his mind go blank

... You're not allowed to be with him at work