#softtrade

[gothhabiba]

softtrade replied to your post “anyone else remember how the WHOLE entire point of fem identity was...”

I think a lot of us remember that time in our identity formation and recall how much it uhhh sucked tho. There’s only so many times you can be told yr entire social and gendered identity is based on supporting yr partner (while suffering infidelity and financial, physical, and emotional abuse) before you try to expand what that identity means.

this was largely a response to an ask that one of my mutuals got, what I’m talking about are lesbians who call themselves femme while going out of their way to denigrate butches as ugly, dirty, failed women, what have you, in an attempt to distance themselves from them

[canmom]

@softtrade replied to your post “softtrade: tbh not to be a princess abt it but I kinda dislike the...”

yeah I mean I agree w that personally. Tho I guess usually when people are talking abt these are when they are in aggregates (so like, including mastectomies w vaginoplasties) that basically is an umbrella of 'medical and medical-adjacent things trans people do to their bodies'

yeah, fair point. i forgot about the usage that includes top surgery.

[kittykat8311]

softtrade replied to your post “putting aside my colossal disdain for them and their continued...”

When I was an escort I always had the futile hope that w my cd clients I would at least be able to talk abt clothes and fashion but like... there's something abt it being a fetish that really messes w their aesthetic approach I feel like

well thats an interesting insight.. when you say talk about it, do you mean point em in a direction thats an actual outfit instead of a parody of femininity or literally they just wouldnt talk about clothes?

[baeddel]

softtrade replied to your post “This girl has been messaging me all day, I think she’s still hurt from...”

^^^ "oh wow I just happened to call someone best of both worlds tee hee i have some knowledge of porn but I had *never* considered it before" is like classic chaser approach. It's always a fluke lol

yeaaahhh, definitely. I was, fwiw, only joking about her being ‘okay’ and ‘misunderstood’ - she’s obviously a transmisogynist & likely a chaser, I just thought it was funny how she spoke to me, which was like, yknow, overly intense cis lesbian or w/e lol. It was kinda endearing yknow. But also like, she probably acted like that with me because I’m a tw, like it didn’t really matter that I was mad at her, she could just talk abt her insecurities literally in the middle of an argument & expect me to make her feel better abt it, yknow. (She also kept asking if I was trans until I answered)

This was also, I didnt mention, in the comments of my answer to a question by some dude called ‘Where can I meet cute transgender girls?’ lmfaoooo. I, ofc told him to go to hell. (And thats when she got mad at me!)

[deepfaggotry]

This is such an emotional journey. Thanks to @burnallthemaps and @softtrade for this true gem!

[ghoulchantsister]

softtrade replied to your post: If there’s one thing that academic publishing has...

I think the combination of that plus the publish or perish attitude that privileges writing nonsense over like actually being a good teacher, leads to the large amount of frankly unnecessary and unnecessarily specialized literature

Oh, absolutely. And I think that these things combined contribute to the utter stagnation of thought and innovation (esp. with regard to form) within the academy, particularly the humanities and “interdisciplinary” programs. Like, even though they’ll publish on just about any topic, they are still often afraid of certain hot button issues (unless they see any money in it) and they perpetuate the idea that the only way that anyone can really be “scholarly” is through tradition book and journal publishing. I’ve heard faculty use all of these various reasons to actively discourage grad students and each other from pursuing projects that are actually creative and ground-breaking.

[canmom]

@softtrade replied to your post “@softtrade replied to your post “i’m pretty sure i made a really...”

Ace scores are used within trauma epidemiology for the “adverse childhood experiences” series of questions. Basically there’s a positive correlation between a ton of negative health incomes (as well as IPV perpetration and other criminal behavior) and childhood trauma. Like I’m just a bit suspect of using a study from a fuckin DAs office where they threatened to use pseudoscience (polygraph is not scientifically supported) against incarcerated people as like “evidence” for a variety of reasons

thanks for filling that in! <3

the guy who writes WDHDT definitely seems to have plenty of sympathy with the ‘justice’ system as it stands and I should be conscious of that i guess

i guess the point with the polygraph anecdote is that, though polygraph is totally fake and doesn’t work at all, the threat of a ‘lie detector’ discouraged people from reporting having experienced csa. but that leaves out the context that they’re incarcerated, and knew they may face consequences for having been deemed to ‘lie’ by the polygraph.

[canmom]

@softtrade replied to your post “i’m pretty sure i made a really dangerous error in my earlier response...”

While I think it has its merits, I feel like WDHDT isn’t a systemically focused book. Like the ace score relationship to interpersonal violence perpetration is pretty clear

that i don’t know what an ace score is is probably a sign i shouldn’t talk about this subject until i know more, but i appreciate the caution re WDHDT and what conclusions to draw from it.