Today, I went to the mall with my mom and she bought me a few things. I'm starting to be really attracted to shirts that flow more and have much wider necks. I'll officially be shopping/thrifting for clothes next Sunday, though, and I am very pleased.
I'm blogging right now because this morning I went back and looked at some of the old stuff in my archive, from like when I first created my Tumblr, and I saw a bunch of pretty boys and shit, and then I felt something--but it wasn't horny. I thought about it and then realized I felt like it'd be nice to be in a relationship. The only thing keeping me from that is the fact that no one is really good enough. I dunno. I see people around me in relationships, and I'm really happy for them. I guess I just wish I could be at least a bit as lucky as they are. But then I feel kind of weird trying to imagine myself in a relationship.
Yes, I am open sexually, but I don't think I could ever be with a girl. However, all of the gay boys I know--sans a few, who are my friends--are just completely lacking of any trait I would find attractive. And then I think about how a lot of people in high school just date around, tossing the word "love" like it's whatever, and they're always with someone--and I know that's not what I want, but it's just kind of crazy how the fact that I'm not that stupid is what keeps me from having a boyfriend.
I guess what I mean is that it would be really fucking nice to have someone who actually likes me (when I think about it, I don't think anyone really does in that way), is good at sex, likes video games, appreciates food, loves animals, and is just interesting and comfortable to be around.
I know that everyone wants this, but I'm typing this up because it's what I've been thinking about and I hardly ever think about this.
