Not even the warmth in Victoria's cheeks could combat the Mesagoza winter chill tonight.
The girls had fled the ball to a secluded little plaza off the eastern outskirts of the city. Looking above a lower section of the town, the fenced overlook provided a nice view of the city and everything beyond. Off into the distance, the eastern waterfall ceaselessly roared from afar, nothing more than a whisper from where they sat. Small outdoor tables and chairs adorned the outer edges of the courtyard, and a ring of lanterns illuminated the stone pathway around the miniature park, bathing the circular plaza in an unobtrusive orange glow.
Victoria crossed her arms and shivered in her seat. She'd offered Esper her jacket earlier— it was the chivalrous thing to do, after all— but she couldn't help but wish she had something better to face the January breeze than a white undershirt. But it is better for her to suffer the chill than Esper in her beautiful gown. And yes, "beautiful" was not a word that Victoria often used to describe anything, but she felt there was no better sense of the word than the girl seated across from her. She hadn't even needed to cast so much as a glance in her direction to know that the sparkling gold of her dress captured the lanterns' underglow perfectly, radiating a warmth like the sun even in the dark of night. She didn't need to check to see how her hair glistened in the moonlight like brilliant diamonds or how her eyes sparkled like iridescent pearls. She already knew.
And yet she looked anyway. Because Victoria never grew tired of the sight.
Esper pulled the jacket tighter around her, her cheeks a rosy pink. She caught Victoria's eye and nervously glanced away with a small smile.
The girl couldn't help but smile back at her. The moon and the stars above were the only company to witness their presence. Victoria couldn't help but wonder if her celestial friends felt a sense of deja vu at the scene. "The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" she asked.
Her friend turned her gaze towards the sky with a hum. "It is, ya. I quite like waning gibbous... it's nice." Tori kind of reminds me of a waning gibbous.
The moon reminded her of...? Victoria snorted to herself in amusement. Of course Esp would think that. Some of her wanted to pry for her reasoning, but would it be too intrusive to respond to her thoughts rather than her spoken words? With careful consideration for wordplay, she decided to respond to both. "Any particular reason why?"
"Mmmm, no reason, really. I just think it's nice," Esper gently rocked her foot back and forth, giving no indication that she heard Victoria's snort. The bright part is Tori's face, the craters her freckles, and the shadow is like her bang, Esper thought to herself as she mentally traced the moon in her mind.
The girl gazed up at the sky, twirling the long bang of her hair around her finger as her cheeks grew warmer. She'd never considered that before, but now that Esper had mentally pointed it out… she couldn't see anything but. There truly was never a dull moment with her, was there? Esper always made her consider the world from a different perspective. With each and every thought in her mind, Victoria saw the world anew. She'd gladly discover it all again from Esper's eyes.
Her friend turned to her with a playful twinkle in her eye, "Well, since you now know my favorite moon phase, do you have a favorite?"
Victoria pondered it for a moment. She hadn't thought of having a favorite moon phase until this point. It'd never been a concern of hers. With a thoughtful hum, she mulled over the options, weighing the pros and cons of each phase. But she knew that trying to come up with an answer based on objective reasoning was futile— what Esper was looking for was heart. And in her heart, Victoria felt... "The new moon," she said, meeting her gaze. "A new moon symbolizes rebirth and renewal. It is the end of a cycle and the beginning of a new one. And in the absence of its light—" Victoria gestured to the sky, "—the stars dominate the night."
Esper nodded along, her eyes following Victoria's hand to look up at the stars. "The new moon is good. And it is nice that the stars get to shine brighter. It's like they're letting their friend rest and letting the moon know that they'll light up the night sky while it does so," the girl smiled warmly. The end and the beginning are always easier with help from those you love."
"So it is," the fool nodded. "So it is."
"And the sun helps the moon during all the other nights too..." Her friend sighed wistfully. "I like to think the moon is well loved... I hope it knows that too."
"I like to think it does," Victoria breathed. Looking up at her celestial mirror in the sky, she added, "Does the sun know it loves it back?"
Esper hummed in response, her hands absentmindedly drifting to pull Victoria's jacket tighter around her shoulders, "I'd like to think it does... during the quiet moments of dawn and dusk where they get to see each other for a few moments before the other dips beneath the earth... I think it does. Or at the very least it likes to think so."
Victoria's gaze fell back to her friend, and her breath caught in her throat. A quiet warmth seemed to hum in her chest, and her spirit rose like a song. The feeling danced in her heart and soul, and the thought dawned upon her: this was the Moment, wasn't it? When the time was right? Nothing had fundamentally changed, but she knew nonetheless. Her heart was filled with a mix of nervousness, anticipation, and a deep longing to express her feelings.
With the moon and the stars as her witness, Victoria would tell her Everything.
She took a deep breath, swallowing back the dread trying to claw her voice back into her throat. "Esper," she nearly croaked out, her heart pounding in her chest. "There's something that— that I'd like to confess." The air was thick with anticipation, and the moon and stars seemed to hold their breath, waiting for her words.
The girl in question turned her gaze to Victoria, her eyes full of curiosity, "Oh? What is it?"
"It's— It's about..." A sudden tightness seized the air in her lungs. "It's about you."
Esper blinked, her head tilting as she spoke, "Go on...?"
"Well, it's—" A growing sense of fear crept into Victoria's chest. The words tried to claw their way past her throat, but her teeth tried to silence her tongue. "It's more about me, but—" Her mouth felt dry and her jaw tense. "But it— It is in relation to you."
"It's okay," Esper tried to reassure her with a warm smile. Take your time." What could possibly have made her so nervous, the girl wondered to herself.
Everything, Victoria internally surmised. She shook her head, struggling to find the courage to speak. With a deep breath, she closed her eyes and tried to start with, "These past few weeks I—" but her lips sealed shut and a chill ran up her spine— a deep, primal instinct to retreat.
Her friend tilted her head at her sudden silence, patiently waiting for her to continue.
Swallowing back the nerves in her chest, Victoria tried to pry herself open once again. But every fiber of her being screamed for her to pull back. The individual ribs that guarded her heart threatened to snap shut like the fangs of a scared animal. Every muscle in her body shivered and tensed, desperate to flee. To fight. To freeze.
Her body refused to let itself bleed.
Esper furrowed her brows in worry, her voice soft as she spoke, "Hey, hey, if it's too much for you right now then you can try telling me another time...? Would that help....?"
Victoria shot out of her chair and slammed her hands on the table, shaking her head violently. No! It has to be today! She tried to open her mouth and force the words from her throat, but silence was the only thing to escape from her tongue. The corners of her eyes stung as she tried desperately to claw her way through the walls she had so carefully built around her heart. She had constructed them too well.
Frustrated, she gripped her hands into her hair and lowered her head. How was she supposed to say the words when they felt like knives in her throat? When she couldn't even bring herself to utter them in the confines of her own mind? When she felt as if she were taking talons to the flesh of her torso to expose the bleeding, beating heart within?
"Tori…?"
The girl peeked a pathetic glance at her friend from between the gap in her fingers. Esper deserved to hear the words. She deserved to know the full extent of her feelings. She deserved to know the Everything in her heart as much as words could describe.
Victoria didn't have the words for Everything.
But perhaps... she didn't need them.
Victoria slowly raised her head with a deep, long breath, finally gazing at Esper again. She wordlessly beckoned her friend to stand with her, holding out her hands to ask for hers.
And her friend listened, standing as she took Victoria's bare hands into her own with a confused smile.
A calm warmth flowed through her hands as skin met skin— there was Something on the other side. Something tranquil and familiar like sitting by the hearth on a cold winter night. Something fierce and powerful like a passionately raging wildfire. Something bittersweet like a nostalgic sepia memory, faded and burnt around the edges yet cherished all the same. Something impossibly bright like the sun in the sky, beaming down its heavenly divine light upon a land of white snow. Something beautifully paradoxical yet natural in its existence. There was a taste of Something.
Victoria's eyes met Esper's, a silent question behind them.
Esper simply nodded, her words quiet as she reassured Victoria, "Go on. I'm ready."
Victoria leaned her head forwards, pressed her forehead into hers....
When Victoria pulled back, the first thing she noticed was that tears were in Esper's eyes, threatening to spill down her crimson-red cheeks. Her friend was silent. Fear immediately gripped her heart. She ruined it. It was too much. Her vision began to blur, and she started to back away. She ruined everything. She was too much.
A tear rolled down Esper's face as a lopsided grin forced its way onto her lips. With breathless words, she said, "I love you."
Oh.
All Victoria could do was choke on a sob and nod. Even now, the words refused to escape her. So, instead, she gave Esper's hands three small squeezes.
Her friend's grin grew wider as she spoke, her voice shaking with something akin to warmth, "And you love me too..."
Swallowing her heart back into her throat, Victoria drew their hands closer to her and squeezed them again, giving her a slight, tentative nod.
"Can I... can I give you a hug?"
Victoria finally found enough of her voice to respond, "You— You may."
Esper wrapped her arms around Victoria, holding onto her tightly as she let out a giddy giggle. She then moved back and resumed holding Victoria's hands, a small nervous smile on her face, "Um– Well, uh, now what...?"
"I..." The girl looked down at their hands for a moment, then back up to look at Esper. "I don't... know..."
"Oh! Well! Uh– We... we could..." Esper glanced away from Victoria, her face growing impossibly red as she stuttered out, "We could try... being together... like... like dating..... maybe...... if you want.........."
Victoria couldn't stop the corners of her lips from turning upwards, nor the way her heart soared in her chest. "I'd— I wouldn't mind that."
"I wouldn't mind that either..." The other girl looked at Victoria sheepishly as she swayed back and forth, "I wouldn't mind being your girlfriend one bit..."
"So..." Victoria glanced off to the side and then back at Esper. "Perhaps... girlfriends?"
"Then I think that settles it," her girlfriend giggled. "Perhaps girlfriends."
sometimes being a wingman is like guiding someone whose never driven on how to parallel park and it took a little while but they managed to squeeze themselves into the space just right.
and then they suddenly slam into the gas and rear end the car in front of them
