"He did not want a body, but she asked him to come. He left a scar when he burned her off his face."
cole can say this during trespasser, and honestly, i suspect this is where 90% of this view comes from: the view that mythal sees solas as something inherently lesser, unimportant aside from fulfilling a function, a tool to be used and then discarded. a slave
but... isn't it just literal?
"he did not want a body" - veilguard confirms this. he did not want a body. why? he did not want to leave the fade. also reasonable to infer that he did not want to make the earth shake again (unclear if they knew at the time what they were doing/what it was doing to the titans/what the titans even were)
"but she asked him to come" - again, veilguard confirms this. it is literal. she asked him to come. and note that even cole says "asked". cole is known for not softening the edges of truth. had mythal bound solas, i see no reason that cole would phrase it this way
"oh, but he's just reading solas' memories, and solas obviously has a rose colored view of mythal"
i'll grant the rose colored part is entirely true. but we see cole being able to read past the individual on multiple occasions. he can tell dorian what his past partner thought. he can tell bull about his tamassaran
i mean, yeah, you could keep arguing that solas is too powerful (except that cole does read his mind multiple times), or that mythal is too powerful
and she is very powerful, but cole seems able to read memories - memories likely stored in the fade, according to both what solas tells the inquisitor and what we see in game. with corypheus and justinia. with the inquisitor finding their own memories in the fade
solas says mythal was the best of the evanuris. granting his rose colored glasses once more, i still think there is some element of truth to that. for one thing, solas was leading a rebellion to end slavery in arlathan. i can't see him retroactively painting mythal in such a flattering light if she genuinely, 100%, was just as bad as the rest of them
and yeah, if we continue to assume all the information presented to us thus far is wrong or a misdirect, we can continue to say that, well, he was her victim, she manipulated his thoughts and emotions, maybe even controlled them. perhaps he's been under her geas this whole time. maybe everything he did, he did because she was puppeteering him...
but like... realistically, how does a genuine analysis hold up if we discount not only everything solas has said (and yeah, he's a deeply biased account), but also everything cole says, and also everything the game itself tells us, and everything veilguard tells us...? like, at some point, it's just an au. and that's cool! but... that's what it is
"he left a scar when he burned her off his face."
so he wore mythal's vallaslin. and this from solas, who developed a technique to remove the vallaslin from the faces of slaves. i get it. i do
but there are a few terms used to describe people in relation to the evanuris.
slave
chosen
beloved
these are different terms. i think assuming they are entirely interchangeable synonyms is... odd. in veilguard, morrigan - who may or may not have drank from the well of sorrows, who may or may not be under mythal's geas - calls solas the beloved of mythal
not her slave
her beloved
solas wore mythal's vallaslin. but as what? her slave? her chosen? or her beloved? no one - not cole, not morrigan, not solas, not any version of mythal, not even elgar'nan in the murals or in person, for that matter - refers to solas as mythal's slave. the closest elgar'nan - in the mural - comes is calling solas her lap dog
the emerald knights. "knight enchanters," the original ones, fighting alongside wolves. solas, who can transform into a wolf... if he was her dog, i'm inclined to think it is more literal than not. her chosen. her wolf. perhaps even the first iteration of this dynamic. not a slave, though; more of a knight. perhaps a bodyguard. but more likely something far more complex than any of these simple titles. but whatever the relationship, it was sufficient for him to be marked for her
morrithal refuses point-blank to fight solas. what's more, she sounds absolutely miserable at the prospect. that's not coming from morrigan herself. why would it? she barely knew solas. no, that's from mythal. from her memories or her aspect still living in morrigan or however you choose to interpret it, that refusal is still more of mythal than it is of morrigan
he speaks of how the evanuris were generals, then kings, then seen as gods. it was the gods who enslaved the people. what of the stage of generals? of kings? what did vallaslin mean then?
mythal's deaths
watcher!mythal similarly refuses to fight solas. she tells rook she loves him
in arlathan, mythal - on solas' word - confronted the evanuris about using the blight. she was murdered for it
at the end of inquisition, flemythal, so much more powerful than solas, knew that he was coming. she was prepared. and she let him take of her. she let him destroy what she was, and take what she had painstakingly accumulated over millenia
in veilguard, watcher!mythal, if rook convinces her that they are right for this job, will willingly yield her essence. that word might provide a comfortable degree of separation, but for this mythal? this particular incarnation? the watcher herself? it's not some abstracted part of her power that she's yielding, but her very being. her life. her consciousness. her spirit... and this, from a spirit
if solas was nothing more than a pawn, a tool, a weapon... nothing more than her loyal dog, trained to heel at her command... if he was nothing more than an extension of her will...
why would she die for him?
the first time, in arlathan, it is unclear if she knew the threat she went towards. but afterwards? twice, she either died or risked death for him
what wielder would do this for what tool?
it's not a retcon. it's not a rewrite. it's the path that's been laid out, quite clearly
mythal was never meant to be the enemy in this story. morally complex? yes. flawed? yes. twisted, bitter, at times profoundly cruel? yes
but the enemy? solas' enemy? the "bad guy"? no
mythal is not saint. flemythal's relationship with morrigan is... fraught, to put it way too simply. but her relationship with morrigan is not reflective of her relationship with solas, nor the inverse. she is an ancient elf, from the time of arlathan. one who has, in some form or another, stayed awake and conscious from then to now. contrasted with solas' awakening one year before inquisition
given how uhhhh Morally Grey he became in that one year, why is it surprising that mythal has become morally grey? why is it so uniquely reprehensible in her case? (sighs. asking as if i don't know.)
i've talked about this so many times and will undoubtedly talk about it so many more, but the moment that my view of mythal and solas began to really change was when i realized that she let him take her power in trespasser
she
let
him
bc literally, he was taking her power - power that she had, and he did not! she could've stopped him cold with a thought
and i don't think she knew 110% that morrigan would accept her. so this allowance... it wasn't just about letting him take her power; it was possibly about letting him take her life. that mythal, that particular aspect that had become very much its own person, influenced by and influencing countless people... that mythal might have died in that moment. and she knows that! she knew he would come, she expected it - she had time to think it through
and mythal has died. has been killed. this is not an abstraction for her: it is a recognized, familiar reality. but even if that was not the case for this aspect - if, say, she was split from the original mythal earlier on, embodied in flemeth while another mythal still lived - then she would still know death through the deaths she has seen, and potentially experienced through her hosts
and it's not just a matter of a choice made. it's a choice sustained. it's a choice - to let him take this from her - that dominates and controls the instinctual desire to live, to fight back
it is profound, and it is tragic, and it is as it always is with them, an inverse, a reversal, a shifting to the other one's view too late, never meeting at exactly the right moment... and only meeting at the right moment
to each their own ofc, but personally, i cannot correlate this moment with a view of her as a domineering force in his life. i cannot see her as the one holding his leash, thinking him less-then, exclusively using him
in trespasser, she lets him take her power
and in veilguard, another aspect of mythal lets rook - a stranger, an unknown - take her willing essence in order to, yes, stop the evanuris... and to help solas. both aspects - watcher!mythal and morrithal - refuse to fight him. they will not stand against him. and both aspects have sacrificed for him
just as solas has sacrificed for mythal. just as he sacrificed his core identity, his peace, his nature
he is shaped by his enduring love for mythal. a love that has spanned millennia and has been foundational in countless ways: some good, some bad; some healing, some wounding
but she, too, has been shaped by her enduring love for him. she has gone to her death - unwillingly and willingly alike - for him
they are immortal. they are spirit. they are flesh. they have been everything to one another: friend, lover, family, enemy
going to say right away that this is not a horny post (although i make plenty of those too). this is genuine meta about the culture around sex in arlathan and solas' personal perceptions around sex and how they change and develop, especially with a relationship with the inquisitor
who i will be calling "inquisitor/inky" and using they/them pronouns for in this post! much love to all solasmancers
i am absolutely of the opinion that during arlathan era, sex was just normal. it was not exclusive to romantic relationships and it could have any number of meanings, or be largely without meaning
(could easily go down a rabbit hole here but i'll avoid it - maybe some other time!)
the evanuris were not always viewed as gods. that developed. and i think prior to its development, solas likely participated willingly and with enjoyment in the sexual aspects of the evanuris, as well as all else they did. but i think as time went on his participation changed... i don't think it necessarily stopped, but the meaning underlying it was different
if andruil pursued him, and he let himself be caught, it was not to experience her body, to take pleasure in her touch. if it was enjoyable, that was a side benefit, but not the goal. the goal was to see what she might say with her guard lowered. how she might behave in the bliss of afterglow. even to observe how she tried to use and manipulate him, and infer things from that
he was manipulative with it, and cunning, and strategic. and he was not alone in this. i think over time the meaning would have changed for all of them. sex as control. as changing a context. as disobedience. as subversion. as upheaval. as plot and ploy. as distraction. as coercion. as claim. as possession. as worship. as punishment. as reward.
sex does not exist in a vacuum, and it would not there, either. all of these goals are pursued in countless ways, and sex is just one tool among many, but it is a tool
none of this is to say that sex for pleasure or sex for intimacy did not exist in arlathan, even during the height of politicking. i think solas and mythal had more of that dynamic. i think andruil and ghilan'nain did as well. and while we know so little about them, i think it is fair to assume sylaise and june had that too
to me, that's pretty much solas' background with sex. it developed from something purely physical and exploratory into one of many tools in the "game" arlathan played, and his perception of it developed with it
the way solas returns the inqusitor's early flirtations... this, to me, is in line with the game of arlathan. it is so smooth, so eloquent, and so quick. someone approaches him with interest and he knows how to respond to that interest immediately
this isn't to say there's no truth in it at all, either. just that it's a learned behavior. and he gets a bit of a kick out of totally turning the tables and flustering them. but it's not anything super serious at that point
i think the fade kiss is one of the bigger, realer moments for him, but at the same time, he's still leaning on learned behavior. i truly think he wants them at this point and that there is an element of the intuitive, the reactive, the instinctual in the way he slots their legs together, in the way he deepens the kiss into something very intense, but it's also leaning a bit on what he's learned to do. it's hard to do otherwise! countless centuries of participation in these activities in arlathan, so much of this is deeply internalized
but the way he approaches them afterwards, wanting to talk... i think that's him trying to draw a veil (heh) between them, yes, and to minimize the pursuit he fell into, yes, but it's also because he doesn't want to play the game with them. he wants to know them. he's full of conflict, and is at his best, in a way, when any one behavior can have multiple benefits. in this case, he's distancing himself from the kiss, quickly steering the conversation away from physical intimacy and his own true and performed desperation, and into a much safer territory... while also being able to indulge in his own developing interest
and, lbr, this man likes to converse. i know the fandom jokes about how he talks so much, and he does, to a degree... but it's conversation that he enjoys, not monologuing. he relishes the chance to have a deep discussion with someone. he does not share his stories with the inky randomly, only when asked, and he approves of them asking him to tell him these things, but also asking questions afterwards, about keeping an open mind
but the absolute turning point in the romantic relationship is not in haven. it's not in the fade. it's on the balcony. it's after wisdom.
the inky can show solas that they understand that a spirit is his friend. that he cares about it. they can try and help him free it. (note: i haven't done alternative playthroughs of this particular quest because I Don't Fucking Wanna)
and that is the big shift. for many reasons! one of which is, of course, the fact that solas himself is a spirit. or was, but truly, i think he still is in many fundamental ways. but it is also about the inky being open-minded, not just in words, but in actions. because when they arrive, there is no gentle spirit waiting for them... there is a demon
the inky can choose to trust solas, to trust that even though it is a demon in front of them, that there may still be something they can do. that is the turning point for solas. that is why he approaches them on the balcony. that is why he brings up the kiss again. that is when he first tells them he loves them
because he does. he does
now, this is a meta about sex, and i haven't forgotten! things are left up for interpretation on whether or not solas and the inquisitor had sex. but setting that aside, i think it's worth considering what sex with someone he has fallen in love with would mean to him
now, i write him as demisexual. to be clear, this wasn't something i set out to do intentionally, but the more i wrote him the more clearly his demisexuality manifested. so he's had sex. he's also had sex with mythal, a woman he genuinely loves and is loved by (at least in my view), so intimate sex with a physical desire for the other person is not entirely unknown... but it was not something he thought to ever have again
and i think arlathan ruined sex for him for a long time. instead of a form of intimacy, it became a tool. a weapon. i suspect he and mythal's sexual relationship slowed until it was all but nonexistent, because it just felt fraught and complex
so to find his way back to it again...
i think he's fighting with himself. boldly leading, his body a tool... and he has to stop himself, because he doesn't want that. not with them. if it's during inq, he probably allows a certain amount of that. because he still has to manipulate them. he doesn't want to, but they still can't know who he is
but after... or even after veilguard, in the fade... confident hands on their arms turn to clutching ones, trembling, and his breathing sharpens. he's trying to bury the learned behavior. he wants to be here, to feel this. i can see it going many ways.... starting only to stop, maybe a bunch of times... or letting his partner lead, try to ease him into just reacting instead of guiding, to soften his learned behaviors until they eventually fade away and let something more sincere emerge
they could talk it out. they could feel it out. he could force himself to perform until the performance drops away (i doubt any partner would want that, but it could be solas' choice to do that anyway without consulting them)
and i think this is why being dommed is easier for him, in my view. and why especially being pushed all the way into subspace is easier for him. because suddenly the barriers drop and he's a raw nerve and he's all reaction. there's no performance left. and the fact that he's safe, that he's held afterwards, that as he shakes he's comforted, it makes all the difference
(because i like to explore him being in subspace in arlathan... and it being a vulnerability. whether it's used against him or not i tend to keep intentionally vague, but he knows it is a vulnerability, and any vulnerability can be exploited)
but i also think him finding his way towards his own desires - and particularly any desires around domination or sadism - would be very, very important and cathartic for him as well. anything he does with his lover is going to be completely consensual, but if they want to be dommed by him, if they are a masochist, then he can explore those desires in himself, too, in a safe way
because i do think solas probably has... a lot of kinks. ppl can have kinks for any reason, but ppl can also develop kinks based around their own traumas. so i think he'd have some where that is the origin. and that doesn't make them bad! but it's something i think he'd struggle with, and struggle with the morality of them
sex as a tool is easy. you use it to meet your own ends. you know how far you are willing to go, and that's how far you go. you're in control, even when you're play-acting at vulnerability, unless you're not in control because someone's using the tool on you instead...
but that's the complexity of it all for him. and i think being able to explore these things in a safe, affirming way would actually ease a tremendous weight that he has carried for a long time
I've touched on many of these things before, but naturally my feelings change over time. The process of writing this out also made me realize certain things that feel accurate! But, as usual, this is based on my interpretation. It's all subjective, because that's the nature of stories. Also, me saying I don’t agree with a view is not bashing that view or people who hold it; I am just expressing my thoughts and my interpretations. Also to be clear for those who don’t follow me and don’t know me: I love Mythal, I love Solas, and this is an analysis but not a critique of either of them.
I do not believe that Mythal was abusive to Solas, nor controlling him. I also don't think her dynamic with him is, in any way, that of a mother to her child. And I think she is, at her core, a good person – which I wrote about in some detail here!
Benevolence and Retribution lived alongside Wisdom and Pride. And the way I see it, they had a deeply interwoven relationship, the nature of which is unique to spirits and not directly translatable. I like to think of it as the idea of home being forever the other. Almost like being two pieces of the same whole, except that each of them is, of course, a whole being on their own… but like two things that have been together so long and become so perfectly curved that they slot together seamlessly. That is the sort of intrinsic relationship I see them having had in the Fade.
Mythal appears to have taken form in order to limit Elgar’nan. Given both what we learn from Solas – a famously unreliable narrator, I know – and what we can piece together from Dalish legends – which have developed over time so they are no longer a 1:1 recounting of events, but likely still contain elements of truth – I think it is justified to say that she was the protector. I’m not going to pivot into Elgar’nan meta, but suffice to say I do think he has his own complexity; however, it is clear that Mythal thought him a threat to the Elvhen, and this appears to be accurate.
This is more interpretative, but I think the reason she saw him as a threat – and took form in order to limit what damage he could do – is both because of her nature (Benevolence/Retribution) and because of her experience. I’ve come to view her as a spirit who would leave the Fade in order to tend to people, like Cole (Compassion) did. Namely, helping victims, and enacting her retribution upon their assailants.
I don’t think Solas did anything comparable while they were both spirits. Wisdom/Pride would be, by its nature, more content to sit on the sidelines and observe. Quick note that while I do think their embodied concepts are integral to their natures, I also think that each spirit is an entirely unique and individual being; no other Wisdom/Pride is Solas, and Solas is like no other Wisdom/Pride. Same with Mythal. Same with every spirit! But the concepts that are attributed to them still go a long way towards defining their nature.
Because of this, Mythal has direct – not distant and academic – experience with suffering, of sitting with the victims, of seeing firsthand how consuming that pain is. And I think it is this experience which is part of why she took form in order to quell Elgar’nan, and why Solas originally did not.
The way I see it, she asked Solas to take form either to 1) help her with the Evanuris and with Elgar’nan, finding it difficult to stem his developing Tyranny on her own, or 2) to help her prevent the war with the Titans on the horizon, whether to develop the dagger that she already knew how to create but could not alone, or to work with her to develop the idea for a solution – the dagger – and then carry it out. It could also have been both!
Solas was important to her. He still is. And he worked with her for a time – how long is unclear, but given their immortality, I suspect a very long period of time – before eventually beginning his revolution. And the revolution is why I brought up Mythal’s firsthand experience with seeing suffering versus Solas’ more academic, dispassionate understanding of it.
Her feelings about the enslavement of the Elvhen are unclear. But even if it had developed around her in such a way that she never questioned the morality of it, it is clear that Solas found it immoral and very, very likely they argued about it. Which contextualizes his approach to the subject with Dorian in Inquisition – he’s not only been anti-slavery for so long, but he’s specifically had these kinds of conversations before and has experience with navigating them. But I think the biggest difference in their goals was not that Mythal was secretly super corrupted (although I do think she became a certain amount of corrupted! Absolute power and all) or evil or careless or whatever else; I think it is that her underlying goal was to reduce suffering, and his underlying goal was to change a system.
Revolution and rebellion take an immense toll. People are wounded, killed, brutalized, made examples of. Certainly what we learn of the practice of slavery in Arlathan was fucked up; slaves were “spent” in the creation of “marvels”. They died in that situation, too. But Mythal’s approach – limiting Elgar’nan’s brutality, softening the edges of things, trying to make things better from the inside – was an approach that had less upheaval. At its simplest level, I see her approach as harm reduction, and Solas’ approach as a mass restructuring. Her approach is flawed because the harm won’t stop; the most she can do is limit its severity, and she cannot be everywhere at once. His approach is flawed because he is sitting there academically assessing the spending of lives in pursuit of an ultimate freedom and a sort of utopia. And this is a situation in which there is genuinely no good answer. Any approach will have flaws. But they struggled to tolerate the other’s point of view, and seemed to think that the other would eventually join them, which didn’t happen in either case.
Also, as much as I believe she was initially driven to leave the Fade in order to limit suffering – taking a very active approach in order to protect the Elvhen – while Solas was content to have a far more passive position, I think that, by the time he took form, she had become immersed in the situation. So she was now taking a more passive approach, trying to hold things together, while he was angry and rash and seething at the injustice, wanting to tear it all down and start again, a very active role.
It’s a fundamental issue of methodology. Mythal was now in a role of working within to limit damage, while Solas was working from the outside to abruptly change the whole system.
But on top of that dissonance is the very human – so to speak – way that a complex relationship and complex history can influence people, often without them being consciously aware of it. Because I think that Solas was one of Mythal’s regrets, even then. She is not as bound to her regrets as he is to his, granted, but she would still be impacted by them, and I think it is not only that she asked him to take form and how that changed the spirit she knew into this man, but also what it reminded her of.
Solas is her connection to her past. An unburdened past, one free of these life-and-death, fate-of-the-world decisions that now plague her. She still associates him with the spirit he was and, by extension, the spirit she was, and I think being with him is like looking back on that past. A complex mixture of regret, despair, guilt, and yearning for a simpler time. And I think a lot – perhaps all – of this is occurring subconsciously, making their relationship with each other even more complex. Solas would have a different point of view, but this is more about Mythal and solythal than it is about Solas, so I’ll leave that for another time. Despite this yearning for a past that can never be again – because they are different now, yes, but also because they have responsibilities outside of themselves now, roles to play that will no longer permit the self-contained peace they once knew – I think that Mythal is less inclined towards reminiscence and nostalgia than Solas is, and is very fixed in the moment and looking towards the future.
She does love him. She calls him “love” in the mural memory, but notably she also says that she loves him to Rook in the Crossroads. And that fragment is, I believe, the closest to Arlathan-era Mythal, although she has, of course, been changed by her individual experiences and her isolation. At Solas’ hands, at that… so she’s angry! The fragment is angry, and bitterness seeps through, but the love is still there and she admits as much to Rook. The nature of that love is never strictly defined, but I gravitate towards viewing it as an intense and spanning love, one that is romantic and platonic while still retaining much of their spirit dynamic. In my mind, they remain each other's home, and will always be. And you can leave home. Sometimes you have to! But it is still home, and I think that is the fundamental nature between them.
While this is in response to some views I have seen, it’s not meant to be targeted or mean or critical; just me sharing my view on the matter.
Solas and Mythal and their relationship:
I think that Solas and Mythal were friends, first. Close friends, the kind that mean everything to each other. I think with both of them having taken flesh, they eventually ended up pursuing a romance–I don’t see this as cheating, either. That’s subjective of course, but we know that Elvhen culture during the time of Arlathan or preceding it is not the same as any other culture in Thedas. And the Evanuris are unique even among the Elvhen, their culture likely stemming as much from how they interacted as spirits to how they interact as physical entities.
The relationship would have petered out over time, but the friendship, the way they deeply valued each other, would have remained.
I do not and truly cannot see Mythal manipulating or forcing Solas to take form. She asked. He agreed. He knew what he was agreeing to, and it always feels a bit like saying otherwise is stripping some of his autonomy and responsibility away.
And, sure, maybe it’s all because it’s through Solas’ rose-tinted perspective. Except. Even after he rebelled against the Evanuris–rebelled against her–she listened to him when he reached out about the Blight. She sought the truth on his word, even though she didn’t believe there was a problem.
Is that really the action of a cunning master manipulator who has been doing nothing but binding and using him?
So, yes, he regrets what he did with her, he regrets the choices he made, he regrets the choices they made and the actions they took… but regretting a relationship does not mean it was abusive or evil or manipulative. They were working against a ridiculously challenging set of circumstances, and for a long time, it seems that they only had each other to depend upon.
I do think that Mythal became more corrupt the longer she was an Evanuris. Like she’s not guiltless here, no more than Solas is. But his commitment, his loyalty to her, is reflected by her loyalty to him. Because she is loyal to him. She was deeply wounded when he turned from her, but she–the lyrium dagger fragment–listens when Rook points out that maybe she was wrong, then. That the man who followed her everywhere saying no should have made her stop.
Like, they’re people. That’s a huge part of the story here; they aren’t some mystical force of pure precision and flawless intent. They were spirits, and they’re now people in some manner or other, and they’re a bit of both, and they’re flawed and corruptible and can make mistakes or not see things clearly because they’re hurting. Not talking about justifying what either of them did, just that Mythal being hurt by Solas turning from her and maybe not seeing the situation with perfect clarity is beyond natural.
I fully understand why people wouldn’t like Mythal. We first see her as Flemeth, and see the very, very complex and at times very harmful relationship she has with Morrigan. It’s natural to carry that perspective of her forward, but… she wasn’t always Flemythal. She was someone else before that, and it’s that someone else who features in Solas’ murals. Whether she was “better” or “worse” then is both subjective and debatable, but she was definitely different.
But also, at the core, their relationship is one of mutual trust, mutual respect, and mutual affection. And one of the most obvious examples of this–particularly the trust and respect–to me is the last mural. After the end of the base game Inquisition, Flemythal lets Solas take her power. He literally cannot force the issue, he’s too weak; and she has power near what she had so long ago. It would have taken the slightest effort for her to stop him.
But she doesn’t.
She trusted him when he told her about the Blight, even though she didn’t believe him. But she went to check for herself based on his word, and was killed for it. And this was after he rebelled, after she likely felt betrayed by him. And then so, so long after, she lets him take her power, that which she has built up piecemeal over all this time, even though she doesn’t fully agree with his goals. She even protests taking down the veil.
Their relationship is mutual. Sometimes he does stuff he does not want to do for her, and sometimes she does stuff she does not want to do for him. They aren’t good or easy choices, but they’re made for each other. They trust and value each other. The mistakes they made, they made together. So it mattered when she released him, not as a puppetmaster finally cutting his strings, but as the person he is closest to saying it's okay; you don't have to do this for me. You can let it go. You can live your life. Our time is past.
i'm still on about solas and mythal being immortal together while those they care about - and hosts, in mythal's case - are not
i'm especially thinking about it with nessa/daw/solas, where nessa/solas have a daughter, revas
nessa will die, eventually. as will daw. as will revas, for that matter. but he gets to see them through their lives, all of them. he gets to watch his daughter grow up, and possibly have children of her own, who he might get to watch grow up, and so on
or perhaps revas does not have children. it isn't important that she does
but what is important is that after every single death, solas seeks out mythal. and they sit, and they talk. about life. about the changes in the world. about death. after nessa's death, mythal encourages him to talk about her. to tell her everything, exactly the way he wants to say it; to tell her of their meeting, their rocky beginnings, the way she pursued him. of the ways she frustrated and challenged him
she is not, in this moment, his counsel, but his confidante. she listens and she hears. and he recounts it in full; at times he cries, at times he's angry, at times he's laughing, they're both laughing, deeply charmed by some aspect of nessa and solas' history together
mythal is his friend. she is there for him when he needs her
when daw dies, the same thing. when revas dies... that's probably the hardest for him, but that's also what mythal understands best, in a way. through flemeth
and he discusses all his important connections with her, not just lovers and child/children. friends that he has made, and friends he will make. because... he's going to live. he will meet new people, and he will come to care for them. he will be with them until they are gone, and he will endure after, as he always has and always will
but when he endures, he seeks out mythal
he has other children. it does not happen with everyone, but it does happen. perhaps he has a whole lineage he can watch grow, perhaps not. he meets new people. finds new friends. new loves. life continues, and he continues with it
and he is there for mythal in exactly the same way. when morrigan ages, when mythal seeks another host, and when mythal - the woman who was held in flemeth, who was flemythal, and then who was morrithal, hosted by morrigan - mourns her daughter-host, he will be there for her. in the same way she helps him mourn each of his losses, he helps her mourn hers. and he helps her new host acclimate to the weight of her; and, very likely, to the loss of her previous host, as it seems to be unusual that the new host has no relationship to the prior host
perhaps kieran will be next. perhaps someone else entirely, someone else morrigan/morrithal meets. whoever it is, solas will be there to help mythal and the new host mourn the old
and when someone who is not the host but in their life passes, solas will be there for them just the same. when leliana dies, they will each mourn her
their relationship is one strewn throughout the centuries, the millennia. they ebb and flow, but always draw together in their grief, an anchor... and the only one who truly, truly understands what it is to live with these myriad, endless losses. what it means to choose to care for people knowing they are fleeting, compared to you. what it means to leave yourself vulnerable, horribly vulnerable, to endless grief... but also to such joys, such beauty, such wonder. to value that which frightens you
they understand. they understand perfectly. and so, they are endless. persistent. they comfort, they counsel, they confide. they meet in times of need, whatever form the need takes. they are immortal in a world of mortality
