when i think about mythal as benevolence and retribution, when i think about the stories the dalish tell of her, when i think about what we see in the games...
i see, above all, a protector. in many ways, i do see a mother. but i do not see kindness, i do not see gentleness
i'm not saying that like She's Bad, Actually, rather that her approach to caring, to protecting, does not manifest as something gentle and warm and soft and kind. she is a mother, but in many ways she does not fit the motherly-goddess archetype
she is many things. an old woman. a spirit. a dragon. a warrior. a queen. a mother. a goddess. a person. blunt, coarse, mystical, mysterious, unrelenting, fanciful, sardonic, bitter, sharp, ruthless. she's angry
i think it is apt that she is depicted as a dragon. there is a conceptual brutality to dragons, profound grace mixed with unbelievable capacity for violence. she is the mother who will rend those who threaten her children apart, but she is not the mother who will gently lull those same children back to sleep after the fact
in a way, mythal's motherhood is exemplified in flemeth's motherhood of morrigan. there is, of course, a brutality to it, a cruelty, violent and destructive. but she is also clearly trying to prepare morrigan for a world that will - and does - seek to destroy her. a world that resents magic, a world that punishes women for their desires, a world that rewards love with destruction and regret. mythal - and flemeth, both separately and in the ways they are conjoined - has a great bitterness, a deep mistrust of the world, one that she tries to instill in morrigan
is it good? no! is it gentle? absolutely not! is it fucked up? it is! but all that can be true, and it can be true that she was trying to prepare morrigan. there was never any gentle motherhood to flemeth, just as there is no gentle motherhood to mythal. a strategic motherhood. a brutal, sharp, violent motherhood. a motherhood that subverts many of the conventions around the role and what type of person fulfills that role
mythal - and flemeth, and flemythal - make interesting mothers
under the cut are the ppl who want to be @'d in my meta! lmk if u ever want to be added to this list btw~
let's address the elephant in the room, shall we? i love mythal. i am fascinated by her, and i have a deeply sympathetic view of her. mythal alone, mythal as an aspect within flemeth, mythal as the watcher in the crossroads, and mythal as an aspect within morrigan, all of them
at the same time, she was undeniably abusive towards morrigan. there is no sugarcoating the ways she harmed, manipulated, controlled, and abused morrigan
but i do believe there is a context underlying flemythal's behavior towards morrigan that is interesting to explore, and that's going to be my focus here
in veilguard, watcher!mythal, the aspect that exists in the crossroads, speaks of the elves - modern and ancient alike - in a way that has some maternal elements to it. but this is not a soft, warm maternalism: she is protective, but not gentle; compassionate, but not kind. i think that is part of what the aspect carries forth
we never meet flemeth alone, so any interpretation of who she was and what exactly she brings to flemythal is uncertain, but there is smth recognizably of mythal alone in how flemythal treats morrigan
at the same time... it is a long series of misdirects. she let morrigan find her grimoire, a grimoire where she laid bare the "truth" of what she would have of morrigan...
except, that wasn't the truth. not the way it was presented
she's far too experienced, intelligent, aware, savvy, and controlling to let such vital information be found. so, no, it was a red herring. but why the red herring?
with morrigan believing that flemeth raised her only to claim her body, to erase morrigan's personhood and superimpose her own in her daughter's flesh, of course she did not return - except to (possibly) face flemeth and (supposedly) destroy her
for the why, let's consider mythal's past
mythal was murdered by those she had ruled alongside. betrayed - as she (understandably!) saw it - by solas, the person she was closest to, her love, her beloved, her oldest friend. mythal knew, intimately, the need to stand on one's own, the need to possess your own power, to not be subject to another's will or whims
flemeth knew this, too
parenthood is never simple. there are always big questions of how to raise your child. and what is most important to the parent is often reflected in some way in how they raise their child. in flemythal's case, i think she was trying to teach morrigan the risk of trust
it is a cruel, twisted lesson, especially to push onto a child. but i think that is the underlying context of it all. to teach morrigan that she cannot entirely trust even those she has been with the longest. to teach her that anyone - even the mother who has raised her - can have an ulterior motive. to teach her to doubt, and to question, and to push, and to discover for herself what truth is
and she also emphasized power. that morrigan had to hone her own power. flemythal told her how to strengthen that power in a deeply fucked up way, which was another tool she provided her daughter with
"here," flemythal says without saying, "is who to trust: no one"
"and here," she says without saying, "is how to defend yourself from everyone, even me"
"He did not want a body, but she asked him to come. He left a scar when he burned her off his face."
cole can say this during trespasser, and honestly, i suspect this is where 90% of this view comes from: the view that mythal sees solas as something inherently lesser, unimportant aside from fulfilling a function, a tool to be used and then discarded. a slave
but... isn't it just literal?
"he did not want a body" - veilguard confirms this. he did not want a body. why? he did not want to leave the fade. also reasonable to infer that he did not want to make the earth shake again (unclear if they knew at the time what they were doing/what it was doing to the titans/what the titans even were)
"but she asked him to come" - again, veilguard confirms this. it is literal. she asked him to come. and note that even cole says "asked". cole is known for not softening the edges of truth. had mythal bound solas, i see no reason that cole would phrase it this way
"oh, but he's just reading solas' memories, and solas obviously has a rose colored view of mythal"
i'll grant the rose colored part is entirely true. but we see cole being able to read past the individual on multiple occasions. he can tell dorian what his past partner thought. he can tell bull about his tamassaran
i mean, yeah, you could keep arguing that solas is too powerful (except that cole does read his mind multiple times), or that mythal is too powerful
and she is very powerful, but cole seems able to read memories - memories likely stored in the fade, according to both what solas tells the inquisitor and what we see in game. with corypheus and justinia. with the inquisitor finding their own memories in the fade
solas says mythal was the best of the evanuris. granting his rose colored glasses once more, i still think there is some element of truth to that. for one thing, solas was leading a rebellion to end slavery in arlathan. i can't see him retroactively painting mythal in such a flattering light if she genuinely, 100%, was just as bad as the rest of them
and yeah, if we continue to assume all the information presented to us thus far is wrong or a misdirect, we can continue to say that, well, he was her victim, she manipulated his thoughts and emotions, maybe even controlled them. perhaps he's been under her geas this whole time. maybe everything he did, he did because she was puppeteering him...
but like... realistically, how does a genuine analysis hold up if we discount not only everything solas has said (and yeah, he's a deeply biased account), but also everything cole says, and also everything the game itself tells us, and everything veilguard tells us...? like, at some point, it's just an au. and that's cool! but... that's what it is
"he left a scar when he burned her off his face."
so he wore mythal's vallaslin. and this from solas, who developed a technique to remove the vallaslin from the faces of slaves. i get it. i do
but there are a few terms used to describe people in relation to the evanuris.
slave
chosen
beloved
these are different terms. i think assuming they are entirely interchangeable synonyms is... odd. in veilguard, morrigan - who may or may not have drank from the well of sorrows, who may or may not be under mythal's geas - calls solas the beloved of mythal
not her slave
her beloved
solas wore mythal's vallaslin. but as what? her slave? her chosen? or her beloved? no one - not cole, not morrigan, not solas, not any version of mythal, not even elgar'nan in the murals or in person, for that matter - refers to solas as mythal's slave. the closest elgar'nan - in the mural - comes is calling solas her lap dog
the emerald knights. "knight enchanters," the original ones, fighting alongside wolves. solas, who can transform into a wolf... if he was her dog, i'm inclined to think it is more literal than not. her chosen. her wolf. perhaps even the first iteration of this dynamic. not a slave, though; more of a knight. perhaps a bodyguard. but more likely something far more complex than any of these simple titles. but whatever the relationship, it was sufficient for him to be marked for her
morrithal refuses point-blank to fight solas. what's more, she sounds absolutely miserable at the prospect. that's not coming from morrigan herself. why would it? she barely knew solas. no, that's from mythal. from her memories or her aspect still living in morrigan or however you choose to interpret it, that refusal is still more of mythal than it is of morrigan
he speaks of how the evanuris were generals, then kings, then seen as gods. it was the gods who enslaved the people. what of the stage of generals? of kings? what did vallaslin mean then?
mythal's deaths
watcher!mythal similarly refuses to fight solas. she tells rook she loves him
in arlathan, mythal - on solas' word - confronted the evanuris about using the blight. she was murdered for it
at the end of inquisition, flemythal, so much more powerful than solas, knew that he was coming. she was prepared. and she let him take of her. she let him destroy what she was, and take what she had painstakingly accumulated over millenia
in veilguard, watcher!mythal, if rook convinces her that they are right for this job, will willingly yield her essence. that word might provide a comfortable degree of separation, but for this mythal? this particular incarnation? the watcher herself? it's not some abstracted part of her power that she's yielding, but her very being. her life. her consciousness. her spirit... and this, from a spirit
if solas was nothing more than a pawn, a tool, a weapon... nothing more than her loyal dog, trained to heel at her command... if he was nothing more than an extension of her will...
why would she die for him?
the first time, in arlathan, it is unclear if she knew the threat she went towards. but afterwards? twice, she either died or risked death for him
what wielder would do this for what tool?
it's not a retcon. it's not a rewrite. it's the path that's been laid out, quite clearly
mythal was never meant to be the enemy in this story. morally complex? yes. flawed? yes. twisted, bitter, at times profoundly cruel? yes
but the enemy? solas' enemy? the "bad guy"? no
mythal is not saint. flemythal's relationship with morrigan is... fraught, to put it way too simply. but her relationship with morrigan is not reflective of her relationship with solas, nor the inverse. she is an ancient elf, from the time of arlathan. one who has, in some form or another, stayed awake and conscious from then to now. contrasted with solas' awakening one year before inquisition
given how uhhhh Morally Grey he became in that one year, why is it surprising that mythal has become morally grey? why is it so uniquely reprehensible in her case? (sighs. asking as if i don't know.)
I am so grateful to veilguard for not making mythal an enemy, antagonist, or evil
she's nuanced, and hardly innocent, but everything she's done has a context - and that context is never "she just wanted to be fucked up"
she's a protector, but she isn't gentle. she's actually pretty ruthless. she's maternal but not in a soft way. she's angry. she's proud
but it's just... nothing she's done was cruel for cruelty's sake. she did not take form to hurt the titans or to control the elvhen - afaik it's left a bit unclear, but it definitely looks like she took form either to stem elgar'nan or to address the titans as a threat to the elvhen (or both!)
and ofc the titan threat is nuanced and the evanuris are not guiltless, nor are the titans necessarily an actual threat, but war is... it's not good. and it's not actually evanuris vs. titans, it's more like elvhen vs. titans and/or dwarves
but my point for this post is that she didn't take a form using lyrium out of cruelty. she did it because she felt it was necessary. and she reached out to solas because she felt it was necessary. and she ASKED! she did not demand, she did not force, she did not coerce - unless you want to claim that "relaying the reason she's asking for his help" as coercion but imo that's such a stretch - but she asked. she explained why she needed his help, and then asked for that help
and he said yes. he! said! yes! he agreed willingly! he made a choice! and he continued making choices!
they were both just consistently doing what they thought was right. and I find it utterly fascinating that they seem to rub off on each other at a delay: mythal took bold action first, and solas was willing to watch; later, solas turned to bold action, while mythal chose a path of harm reduction more than revolution
(one could argue that at a lifelong scale, mythal has taken more ethical action than solas - she emerged first to help the elvhen, and then as an evanuris she tried to protect her people)
I just really love her so so so much... my glorious avenging angel 🥰
under the cut are the ppl who want to be @'d in my meta! lmk if u ever want to be added to this list btw~
vivenne and leliana make for radically different divines, and mythal and solas make for radically different leaders
we see in vivienne a woman who is eminently, personally aware of the injustices mages face. hers is a view deeply rooted in canon reality: mages are dangerous. mages have extraordinary power, power that — untrained — can be released accidentally in devastating ways. but while mages might be literally empowered, they are socially, culturally, and politically disempowered, oppressed and abused
we see that she is aware of the abuses and believes they need to be addressed. but her solution to the circles having problem is not dissolution of the circles, but an attempt to repair a broken system. essentially, her approach is rooted in harm reduction rather than revolution
dai explores harm reduction in a different context, too: the banter between sera and solas about the red jennies also addresses why the jennies do not seek to usurp or replace the ruling class. to do so would create new rulers, who may then become corrupted themselves. by staying as they are, they instead function as a reminder to the current rulers that they are not entirely above reprisal
and while tevinter is in many ways flawed and corrupt, it also presents an alternative: circles not as prisons but as academies. while she — wisely — does not bring tevinter into the conversation, vivienne is clearly pushing for the circles to go more in that direction. she has attended multiple circles, some of which were considerably less brutal and more academic, so she has also experienced some of the better circles and knows that they are possible to enact
she is also aware that the mage-templar conflict and the dissolution of the circles led to mass conflict. it led to deaths. it led to destruction. mages were killed, templars were killed, tranquil were killed, bystanders were killed. and knowledge itself was destroyed
i draw a comparison here between her and mythal, because i think they both embody this political ideology. granted, there is much of mythal's rule we do not know, and some that we can only reasonably infer. but solas was openly a revolutionary, a rebel, and mythal did not join him, even as she never entirely turned from him (or he from her). mythal also continued to participate as an evanuris, as an actor within the very system that solas was seeking to dismantle
acknowledging right now solas' inherent bias around mythal, we hear from him in trespasser and see through his memories in the lighthouse that she valued the elvhen people, a claim which is also supported by dalish legend and older sentiments found in-game
in arlathan, mythal sought to stop the war between the titans and the evanuris: this was a brutal protectiveness over the elvhen and/or her fellow evanuris. later, on solas' word, she went to confront the evanuris for using the blight and was killed for it
flemythal encourages the wardens to face the threat of the blight, saving them from certain death on the tower. later, she saves hawke's family, what remains of it. and during inquisition, she confronts morrigan
then we meet the aspect that has been sealed away for so long in the crossroads, an aspect ultimately willing to yield her essence — her entire, core self — to rook, a near-stranger, so long as rook can prove that they have what it takes to confront the evanuris with at least a chance of victory
through all this, we see that, yes, mythal is manipulative and cunning, occupying something of a chessmaster role throughout history. we see that she is willing to be incredibly brutal to protect her own. and we see that — like solas, in this way — she is more concerned with the end results than with a moral path to them
but we also that she tries to shift within existing systems rather than destroy and replace them. while they operate on different scales, i think it is reasonable to say that vivienne and mythal each employ this harm reduction stance. not only for the lives of people, but for knowledge itself, something which is often destroyed during massive upheavals
the point about knowledge being destroyed is not hypothetical or minor, but canonical and significant. vivienne mourns the destruction of specialized knowledge kept by the circles, priceless tomes either destroyed or in the hands of bandits. and we likely see mythal's hand in morrigan's emphasis on the preservation of knowledge. we also see how solas' method destroyed an ancient library. unintentionally, of course, but the destruction that stems from radical change is inherently unpredictable. such upheaval can damage both the present and the past even as it seeks to better the future, through destroying elements of history and knowledge
i've already touched on how solas differs from mythal, but leliana as divine differs from vivienne in a very similar way. her rule is deeply revolutionary and full of massive changes done quickly. she is focused on creating a just world, one where no one is kept out of the chantry based on their race, where circles are not rebuilt, where the chant of light is restored to once again reference shartan, an elf
leliana as divine and solas as the rebel dread wolf employ a strongly revolutionary approach. in both cases, their efforts — meant to improve the world, to make something better — put those they are trying to aid at risk. but for both of them, the opportunity to create something which is fundamentally better is worth the risk, even the death, that the change will create
now, of course, radical restructuring does not have a guaranteed outcome. we see this with solas' efforts. and of all the divines, the epilogue slides only show a tiny portion of their rule, yet even in that tiny portion we can see that leliana's leadership is provocative, to say the least
in some ways, the events of veilguard may have spared thedas the consequences of the rule of the southern divine. leliana's rule is hugely disruptive at theological, cultural, social, political, and even economic levels, and i could easily see religious splinter groups arising from the chaos
this is not to say she's incapable of navigating such complexity. i think her experience as a bard, her personal experience with the warden and the inquisitor/inquisition, and her long and storied religious past would all help guide her. but the chaos her reign would unleash is undeniable and fundamental, and in such chaos, the most oppressed can be put at the greatest risk
both solas and leliana view a bright future being worth a risky present; both mythal and vivienne view a slow and steady progression towards an improving situation being worth sustaining the harmful structures
these things are not a simple yes/no, good/bad dynamic. no one is wrong, and no one is entirely right. but the fundamental difference between solas and mythal and the fundamental difference between leliana and vivienne appears, to me, to be much the same: revolution, or harm reduction
Sections:
Female Characters and Sexual Appeal
“They’re Pajamas”
Mythal vs. Elgar’nan
But She’s a Goddess!
Practicalities, and Mythal on Worship
Conclusions
Instead of having a few piecemeal posts floating around, I’m going to dig in properly.
Mythal’s outfit in Veilguard is good, actually. I know a lot of people dislike it, and to each their own, but this is a post in favor of it; if you’re going to be shitty about it, trust me, there are other posts about her outfit that would love to have your input in agreement with them.
Accuse me of trying to create an echo chamber if you want, but it’s pretty much common decency to not go onto a post in favor of something and trash it or say someone is wrong for liking the thing they obviously like.
The New Post button is right there.
Female Characters and Sexual Appeal
So, this is a big part of the issue I have with fandom's perception of her outfit in Veilguard being “bad,” because it is notably modest. And I have to wonder how much of the opposition to her outfit boils down to “she lost her boob window and this is bad design, actually,” which is, at best, a questionable argument.
Obviously there are people who are fine with modesty, just not this outfit. Or they wanted some other aspect to her design, or whatever. This is a generalized statement, but it’s a point I think is worth making.
“They’re Pajamas”
I don’t even know what to say to this one honestly. What pajamas are y’all actually wearing because I for sure don’t wear layered cloth robes complete with soft pauldrons… I’m assuming a big part of this commentary is a joke based on the initial casual outfit Inquisitor’s wear also being called “pajamas” by the fandom (again, personally, I wouldn’t wear something like that as pajamas… but you do you!)
To be clear, I don’t really care about the joke. I’m just acknowledging that as a potential source for this commentary. But addressing it as a real, intentional comment, I truly don’t get it. They’re cloth robes. Are the Circle mage outfits also pajamas? Are Anders’ robes? Keeper robes? Everything Solas wears? Are all cloth armors pajamas…?
Mythal vs. Elgar’nan
This is a crucial piece of it, to me. I’ll be the first to admit that my creative background is in writing rather than visual art, but I know that visual art often pairs characterization with appearances, because that’s very effective.
When I’ve seen people discuss Mythal’s design, it’s often with Mythal as a stand-alone figure, unrelated to any other in-game figures, which is, I would say, a very limited perspective on it. The designs interrelate when they’re in the literal same game.
So, let’s look at Elgar’nan. His design is one of great wealth, of luxury; he wears medallions that hearken to real life military badges. Everything he wears is absolutely exquisite, a mastercraft, and it creates an imposing, regal overall effect.
Elgar’nan is someone who wants to rule. Who wants to rule. Desires it. He’s a tyrant, and his aesthetic design is that of a grand king or powerful military figure. Again, this is clearly intentional. The design elements tie in with and support his characterization.
So, Mythal. If she looked as grand as Elgar’nan, as regal, then the aesthetic design would be setting her beside him in intent. It would be drawing a comparison between the two of them. “See, they’re the same!” I wouldn’t have liked that, and I think it would do her character a disservice to have been presented that way.
“But She’s a Goddess!”
She’s a spirit. She’s an Evanuris.
You know who else is a spirit? Cole. Should Cole be dressed in extremely elegant, grand, regal clothing? No? Then why does Mythal being a spirit necessitate it?
“No, no, it’s because she’s an Evanuris!” Okay. You know who else is an Evanuris? Solas. Should Solas be dressed in extremely elegant, grand, regal clothing? No?
“No, no, it’s because she’s royalty!” Sigh. You know who else is royalty? Cassandra. Should Cassandra be– well, you get it.
“No, no, it’s because she has a huge impact on the world!” You know who else has a huge impact on the world? The Inquisitor. They have a huge effect on politics in Thedas. They’re given immense power during DAI. And while you can wear some very fancy armor, it is, ultimately, armor. You can also run around in simple leathers. Or cloth robes.
She’s literally not a goddess. She’s just not. That’s made clear time and again. She’s a spirit, she’s a woman, she’s an Evanuris. She’s a ruler. But a goddess? No. She’s never been a goddess, and never will be. She does not need to be larger than life, because she never has been.
Back to the prior section, you know who presents himself as larger than life? Elgar’nan.
Practicalities and Mythal on Worship
This is the fragment that’s been trapped for thousands of years. Why, why, why would she be worried about fashion? Especially when we see, clear as day, that Flemythal uses fashion to achieve her own ends? Her presentation in DAO differs dramatically from her presentation in DA2, which again differs dramatically from her presentation in DAVG.
Who is she performing for, trapped there by herself? Who is she convincing? Rook? Rook? She doesn’t care about Rook, she has no reason to. Rook has to convince her to care, even a little, about what they are doing; but Rook as a person? Mythal has absolutely no reason to make a show of herself, and she doesn’t.
Morrigan says that Mythal dislikes praise, worship. She desires respect, not mindless obedience. So even if she was putting on a particular show for Rook, why would she choose to emphasize her position through fashion? What would that achieve, for her?
Conclusions
I know that ultimately people just wanted to see Mythal in something epic. That’s fine, of course; and even if I disagree, it’s still fine. But these are my thoughts on the matter.
I really, really don’t think her design is a “failure” or an “accident.” It might be a disappointment to people! I get that! But me and the other people who see value in her design aren’t just making shit up for funsies, either. We’re seeing something that’s there. It’s fine to have it not to your personal taste, it’s clear that a lot of people are disappointed with aspects of Mythal’s character, but me?
I’m not.
I’m happy.
Delighted, even.
And I’m tired of the overall conversation that I’ve seen being one of disappointment. It’s been an absolute pleasure to see some people valuing her design lately and I didn’t realize at first how badly I was wanting to see that.
i've talked about this so many times and will undoubtedly talk about it so many more, but the moment that my view of mythal and solas began to really change was when i realized that she let him take her power in trespasser
she
let
him
bc literally, he was taking her power - power that she had, and he did not! she could've stopped him cold with a thought
and i don't think she knew 110% that morrigan would accept her. so this allowance... it wasn't just about letting him take her power; it was possibly about letting him take her life. that mythal, that particular aspect that had become very much its own person, influenced by and influencing countless people... that mythal might have died in that moment. and she knows that! she knew he would come, she expected it - she had time to think it through
and mythal has died. has been killed. this is not an abstraction for her: it is a recognized, familiar reality. but even if that was not the case for this aspect - if, say, she was split from the original mythal earlier on, embodied in flemeth while another mythal still lived - then she would still know death through the deaths she has seen, and potentially experienced through her hosts
and it's not just a matter of a choice made. it's a choice sustained. it's a choice - to let him take this from her - that dominates and controls the instinctual desire to live, to fight back
it is profound, and it is tragic, and it is as it always is with them, an inverse, a reversal, a shifting to the other one's view too late, never meeting at exactly the right moment... and only meeting at the right moment
to each their own ofc, but personally, i cannot correlate this moment with a view of her as a domineering force in his life. i cannot see her as the one holding his leash, thinking him less-then, exclusively using him
in trespasser, she lets him take her power
and in veilguard, another aspect of mythal lets rook - a stranger, an unknown - take her willing essence in order to, yes, stop the evanuris... and to help solas. both aspects - watcher!mythal and morrithal - refuse to fight him. they will not stand against him. and both aspects have sacrificed for him
just as solas has sacrificed for mythal. just as he sacrificed his core identity, his peace, his nature
he is shaped by his enduring love for mythal. a love that has spanned millennia and has been foundational in countless ways: some good, some bad; some healing, some wounding
but she, too, has been shaped by her enduring love for him. she has gone to her death - unwillingly and willingly alike - for him
they are immortal. they are spirit. they are flesh. they have been everything to one another: friend, lover, family, enemy
it's the end. the way solas strokes their hand. the way he begs them to stand down, to let it happen
it's the way he is so, so desperate to not kill them
and, well. most of u probably know my feelings re: the canonicity of supplementary materials (books, comics, etc.), so as with all that supplementary canon i hold this in a kinda... quantum state of true-and-false simultaneously, but... felassan
solas and felassan were so close
and solas kills him
so, rook. why does he not kill rook? it would be so easy
but there's an element of this that cannot, in my opinion, be overstated. to disregard its impact is to miss a huge amount of solas' emotional state in this game: rook means so much to solas
rook is his ONLY connection to the outside world for the entire time he's imprisoned. for a game that is about hope in so many ways, rook is notably solas' only hope - and it is a brutal kind of hope, using them, manipulating them. but it is still worth pointing out that, for solas, while he is existing in the regret prison, rook is his symbol of hope
as well as his hope, rook is his only connection to reality, his only reprieve from regret and memory. when rook is not talking to him, he's being drowned in his deepest regrets again and again and again. relentlessly. because he is brutal, when he feels he needs to be. thus, the prison would be brutal, unyielding, and exacting
now, ppl talk about solas in that prison as though it did nothing for him. but i don't think that's true at all. i think it's a factor - one of many - that allows him to set aside his long-standing goals (other crucial factors include: the inquisitor; rook; varric; mythal; and a significant change in circumstances with all the evanuris now dead)
he has always been steeped in his regrets, we know that. but he has also set them aside. whether the murals were a way to bury his regrets, to imbue them in art and apart from himself, to feel them less, is iirc implied but still uncertain, bc dragon age as a series has long been predicated on narrative uncertainty. but either way, he is able to avoid dwelling on his regrets overmuch - whether through ridding himself of them, or through focusing on action, goals, etc.
but in the prison, he cannot avoid them. and upon his escape, i think he does not want another regret. he cannot avoid the weight of them any longer, and they are heavy
he does not want to kill rook, because he does not want to regret killing rook. is this selfish? of course! a part of it IS about him wanting to spare his own feelings. but another part is that he knows that rook is a person, and he's never wanted to kill anybody...
he also does not want to regret tearing down the veil. he does not want to regret the deaths that will follow. he also does not want to cause death: both these things can exist simultaneously
but that is viewing rook in a sort of... abstract, generalized way. while that is an aspect - rook is a person; solas does not want to kill people; ergo, solas does not want to kill rook - it is more important to consider the relationship between solas and rook
solas is suffering in that prison. rook's visits are, would have to be, bright spots amidst that suffering. to me, this is just basic: repeatedly, solas' only relief comes in the form of rook's visits. they're complex in their own way, of course, but it is the only interaction he gets outside of his own worst memories being replayed endlessly
so, in the end, solas is being confronted by the inquisitor, mythal, and rook, all of whom are asking him to stop
confronted by mortality. by immortality
confronted by people he has misled, used, manipulated
and he is seen by them. all of them see him
-a shared moment of understanding; seeing completely, and being wholly seen.
Memory of a Duet (codex)
while the above is about mythal - the codex entry is shown with her tarot card, after all - it also points to a deep desire of solas'. he wants to be seen. to be known. and to be accepted
mythal knows who he was, and much of who he is
the inquisitor knows who he pretended to be, but i think there was significant truth in that pretense: it was who he wanted to be, who he could have been. it was a mask, yes, but not a complete falsehood by any means
and rook knows him from his regrets, from his actions, and from the way others speak about him. knows him from varric's accounts as they traveled together to stop solas. knows him from the inquisitor's accounts. knows what he is willing to do, how far he is willing to go, because he does so with rook
to have these three see him, know him, and accept him...? to have them ask him to stop, to tell him that everything can still be forgiven...?
it must have felt so surreal. i am sure part of his time in the regret prison was each of them calling him a monster. saying they wished they'd never met him. telling him to his face that he ruined everything, ruined them
that is the fear
and this is the reality
and i just... i cannot imagine what all is going through his mind. it's little wonder he breaks down
god i just love him so fucking much. but, to speak on the solrook of it all... he does care about rook. i don't think there's any real room for interpretation on that. if he didn't, he'd have killed them. he's killed other people who he cares for (note: i'm not necessarily arguing that he cares more about rook than he did about felassan - i don't want to compare relationships like that - but i think it is fair to say that he has changed since that time)
and rook is the one who has the final choice. the one who can choose to return the dagger to the god of lies. the one who can show such utter vulnerability and, yes, hope, their own hope, their hope for solas, in that final moment
it's hard to imagine him not falling at least a little in love right then. he may not be aware of it at the time, but seriously, that's so profound, that's so formative, that's so shaping. and he has always loved those who shape the world and who shape him
