I have an idea for a one shot, Elucien, Nessian, and Feysand cutest couple contest and Elucien wins but then Eris and Arina walk in and actually win 😂
Okay anon, I'm sorry I sat on this for so long but it took me a hot minute to figure out how to write this.
I think you wanted fluff? Anyway you get unhinged insanity. This is the mating game (like the newly wed game) and if ANYONE says I got any of these couples besides Elucien wrong, it's because this is my first time writing them in earnest.
This is SFW though there are impolite sexual references so exercise good judgement. References to HENrietta the chicken (no apologies).
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“What is this, again?” Nesta groused, crossing one leg over the other.
“It’s the mating game,” Gwyn, ever cheerful, replied. Beside her, Azriel helped organize a stack of cards, offering them to Gwyn without a word. The red-haired priestess perched on a stool to survey the group of people sitting in Rhys and Feyre’s drawing room. Though the game ought to be fun on its own, there were bottles of liquor just out of reach on a nearby table surrounded by cups and snacks.
“Why doesn’t he have to play?” Rhysand demanded, jerking his head towards the spymaster. All heads turned to look at Gwyn and Az, the two newest mates in Rhysand’s inner circle.
“Because he doesn’t want people knowing his personal business,” Gwyn offered. Azriel’s cheeks flushed as Lucien, Rhysand, and Cassian all glanced anywhere but at the females across from them. Twin black, leather couches had been rearranged for the game, with males on one side and females on the other. Behind the males, a roaring fire kept the howling wind outside from leeching cold into the softly lit room.
“Can we start or—”
“Not so fast,” Eris Vanserra stated, bursting through the twin glass, French doors theatrically. Behind him Arina, bundled in a puffy red coat, rolled her eyes and shook out long, blonde hair.
“I invited them,” Elain murmured quickly before Cassian or Rhysand could protest. “Arina is my best friend.”
“Hurtful, baby sister,” Eris intoned, joining the other males across the room. Arina plopped between Nesta and Elain, squeezing her friend tight. Azriel offered Arina a large stack of white cards and a black marker while Gwyn offered the same to Eris. It was impossible not to notice how Azriel’s eyes avoided Eris despite how desperately Eris was clearly trying to provoke him.
“The rules of this are simple,” Gwyn, perhaps sensing a squabble brewing, began explaining the rules of the game. “I ask questions about your mate, and you answer. The team with the most right answers wins that knife in the corner, generously donated by my mate, not to be used on anyone in this room.” Her eyes slid to Eris as she said that last part. Behind Azriel sat a gleaming silver hunting knife with a black, leather wrapped hilt placed just beside a matching leather sheath.
“Males first,” Rhysand decided and though Gwyn rolled her eyes, she didn’t contradict him.
“Want to take bets on who wins?” Cassian whispered.
“Shush,” Feyre shot back.
“The first question: What would your mate liked you to have served them when you accepted the bond?” Gwyn asked. All four females immediately turned to their cards. Elain began scribbling immediately, her lips upturned in a smile that very much said her and Lucien had discussed this before. Arina, too, was writing though her shoulders shook with laughter.
Nesta frowned, looking over at a furiously scrawling Cassian. “Did I not give him exactly what he wanted?” She whispered.
“No cheating!” Feyre elbowed Nesta though she hadn’t written anything either.
“Ten seconds,” Azriel warned. Everyone turned back to their cards, the only sound the squeaking of markers on slippery paper.
“Time.”
“Okay, we’ll start with Feyre. What would your mate likedyou to have served them when you accepted the bond?” Gwyn asked, teal eyes twinkling.
Feyre glanced towards Rhys, who was grinning openly. Azriel narrowed his eyes.
“No mind sharing,” the spymaster warned the pair of them.
“We’re not,” Feyre replied earnestly though the glitter in Rhysand’s violet eyes told the room he had definitely tried. “I wrote exactly what I gave him.”
“Turn your card, Rhys!” Gwyn replied excitedly. Rhys’ grin only widened.
“Oh for fucks sake,” Nesta snapped when Rhys revealed Feyre herself.
Beside Rhys, Lucien began shaking with silent laughter.
“Nesta?”
“I wrote what Feyre wrote,” Nesta replied, turning a card that read a biscuit.
“Oh…babe…we are going to lose,” Cassian said sadly, turning a card that read A nice roast.
“Ungrateful, is what you are,” Nesta grumbled.
“Elain?” Gwyn asked hopefully.
“Lucien said he would have been fine with dirt,” Elain replied, her card written neatly to reflect exactly what she said. Lucien turned his own card excitedly to reveal the word dirt written in impossibly nice calligraphy.
“The bar is so low,” Gwyn mumbled. “Okay, Arina, give us what you’ve got.”
“Eris wanted an apple pie,” she replied, flipping her card with a wink. Eris grinned, revealing his own card that had a drawing of an apple pie, followed with a little arrow pointing to his description that read apple pie.
“We cannot lose to Vanserra’s,” Cassian told Nesta.
“Then do better,” she hissed.
“Next question,” Gwyn interrupted, her teal eyes bright with amusement. “What is your mate afraid of?”
Everyone collectively groaned as they wrote. “This feels like political subterfuge,” Eris grumbled.
“Like anyone cares about your fears,” Azriel mumbled as a reply.
The responses were only a little better. Feyre and Rhysand both guessed my mate dying as their response. Nesta wrote endless warwhile Cassian responded with nothing, causing a booming laugh to escape Azriel’s mouth. Elain and Lucien also wrote my mate dying, and Eris, grinning at Arina, clapped his hands when she wrote falling into a pit trap. He’d done another drawing of a stick figure falling into a hidden hole causing the room to burst into speculation as to whether it had happened or not. The twinkle in Arina’s eyes suggested it very much had.
“Next question. What was the first thing your mate thought when they saw you for the first time?” Gwyn’s enthusiasm was unmatched and Azriel scooted just a little closer to Gwyn, his own hazel eyes bright with affection.
“Don’t get this one wrong, darling,” Rhys told Feyre as he wrote.
“I just know you two are cheating somehow,” Cassian complained.
“If we were cheating, we wouldn’t be losing to the Vanserra brothers,” Feyre shot back. “No offense, Lucien.”
“Some offense taken,” Lucien joked.
“Turn over your cards,” Azriel demanded.
Feyre went first. “I wrote, my mate is a human.” Rhys groaned, flipping over a card that read, “most beautiful female I’d ever seen.”
“That’s what I thought!” Feyre replied, outraged. Rhys merely shrugged. “We were thinking the same thing.”
Nesta, smirking, turned her card over next. My mate is terrifying.
Cassian cackled, revealing a card that read Nesta scared me.
“I know that’s romantic but…wow, Cas,” Azriel teased. Cassian merely shrugged.
“I always knew my perfect female would terrify me.”
“Same,” Nesta agreed with a smile.
Elain flipped over her card which read, oh no.
“You two sure are romantic,” Gwyn joked when Lucien’s card said the same.
“How do we know they’re not cheating?” Rhys demanded; eyes narrowed. Lucien sighed, exasperated.
“Perhaps we spend more time talking than the rest of you,” he suggested. Rhys considered that.
“Maybe. But only because my mouth is occupied—”
“C’mon!” The room complained. Even Gwyn narrowed her eyes at the High Lord, who displayed not one ounce of shame. Arina went last.
“Eris thought about how to get me naked,” Arina replied, revealing her card. True to form, Eris had drawn a rather crude image that caused Lucien to take the card from his elder brother and rip it in half.
At the end of the first round both Lucien and Elain and Arina and Eris were winning, with Feyre and Rhys coming in second and Nesta and Cassian in last place. They were given some time to talk with one another while Gwyn flipped through her cards, but the males were only interested in a rare bottle of whiskey Rhysand had recently acquired.
“This is why we’re losing,” Nesta complained when Cassian did two shots consecutively with Lucien.
“Hardly,” Elain teased as Azriel chuckled in agreement. Cassian narrowed his eyes towards his brother and Azriel shrugged.
“I heard enough up at that house.”
“Okay, okay, let’s do round two so we can all drink,” Gwyn insisted, urging everyone back to their spots. Elain winked at Lucien as Eris called, “We can’t let Lucien and Elain win.”
“Hey!” Elain cried.
“Full offense, Elain,” Eris added, earning a sharp elbow to the ribs from his younger brother.
“First question,” Gwyn called over the chatter. “What is your mates perfect day?”
The males all immediately began scribbling responses while the females watched suspiciously. Feyre went first. “In my art studio.”
Rhys groaned as he flipped his card. “In my bed.”
“You had to know I wasn’t going to write that,” Feyre chided.
“Ah but you were thinking it,” Rhys crooned.
Cassian, too, flipped over a card revealing a wholly inappropriate answer. Nesta sighed as she flipped hers over.
“Seriously? With my girls eating cake?”Cassian asked with disbelief while Gwyn rose from her stool to high-five Nesta.
“Hell yes, Cass. You know I love you.”
“Do I?”
Lucien was quick to flip over his card. “In the garden.”
Elain beamed, her own card reflecting his answer.
“That’s a euphemism, by the way,” Lucien informed the group, his cheeks-tinged pink from the alcohol. Elain spluttered, clearly embarrassed for all Lucien noticed. Cassian high-fived him with what he clearly thought was some covertness.
Eris was the last to flip his card which, true to form, depicted a rather crude drawing. Beneath it he’d written, getting absolutely wrecked.
Arina laughed. “You know me so well.” Her overturned card read Non-stop fucking.
“More information than I ever needed,” Azriel grumbled.
“Jealous?” Eris taunted. Azriel leveled an unyielding stare.
“In your fucking dreams.”
“I do dream of you,” Eris replied with a mocking grin.
“Who doesn’t?” Gwyn asked, defusing the situation with a smile. Next question, gentleman.”
“Don’t be gross this time,” Elain murmured, sending Lucien the sweetest death glare to ever exist.
“What are your mates biggest pet peeve?” Gwyn asked. All four males hesitated, glancing towards their mates as they wrote.
As usual, Rhys and Feyre went first. He wrote Tamlin which earned a round of laughter though did not match Feyre’s response (unlabeled paint tins). Cassian guessed Nesta’s answer right (being told what to do) and for the first time, Lucien guessed Elain’s answer wrong.
“Weeds?” Elain asked with an eye roll as she flipped a card to reveal mismatched patterns.
“Ah I almost wrote that,” Lucien said with a sheepish grin, reaching for the bottle of whiskey in Cassian’s hands.
“Are we going to let Eris win?” Nesta asked incredulously as he flipped over his card. It was a drawing of his face with big x’sfor eyes.
Arina laughed, her card reflecting his answer.
“I’m so afraid to go to Autumn Court,” Cassian mock whispered to Rhys. The High Lord nodded as he poured out more shots.
“Last question!” Gwyn told the room. “What is the best gift your mate ever gave you?”
All four men immediately began writing.
“Cassian I know what you’re thinking—”
“You don’t,” Cassian interrupted with a grin that told everyoneexactly what he was thinking.
“That’s my sister,” Elain reminded Cassian, who merely laughed.
Feyre got a little weepy when Rhys flipped over his card to reveal Nyx written in elegant script. She went and plopped into his lap, twining her arms around his neck. “Is that what you wrote, darling?” She showed him her card which did, indeed, have Nyx written on it.
“Ugh,” Nesta and Elain complained at the same time when the two began kissing. Cassian interrupted their moment with more crudeness.
“What?!” He asked with a laugh when she tossed her card at him. “We were losing anyway and these two—” He jerked his thumbs towards Rhys and Lucien –“Are being gross and sentimental. Is that what you want? Open, public displays of affection?”
“Were you not already?” Azriel asked with one arched brow. Nesta’s cheeks immediately reddened.
“What did you write?” Cassian demanded, picking up his card. His face softened at what he saw. “Oh Nes.”
“Oh no,” Azriel muttered when Nesta attacked Cassian’s mouth with her own. “Someone stop them.”
“Hey,” Lucien snapped next to Cassian’s ear. “Save that for later.”
“What did the card say?” Gwyn asked curiously. Nesta showed the red head her card, displaying my freedom to the room.
Lucien flipped his card quickly. “See, this is what I meant,” Cassian grumbled when Lucien revealed the word you to which Elain, beaming, revealed a second wrong answer.
“Did you really write Lucien’s best gift was the chicken you two share?” Arina asked with disbelief, looking at Elain’s card.
“Henrietta is our baby,” Elain protested. Lucien chuckled but did nothing to contradict her assertion.
“Alright Eris. What did Arina write?” Gwyn asked.
Eris had drawn a picture of what was clearly Arina in a crown. “My High Lady,” he crooned, his russet eyes filled with affection. Arina smiled, her card the same.
“It was a nice surprise,” she admitted.
“I can’t believe you two let Eris win,” Rhys chided Lucien and Elain, now sitting on the same side of the couch holding hands.
“You know, while all of you were fucking instead of getting to know each other, Arina and I spent vast amounts of time separated. We wrote letters,” Eris informed the room with just a touch of defense. Arina perched herself on the arm of the sofa Eris sat on, her hand resting on his shoulder. “I could tell you her whole routine since the moment she was bornuntil this morning.”
“I’d rather have done the fucking,” Cassian announced. Lucien choked on his whiskey as Rhys nodded in agreement. “We’ve got forever, I’m in no rush.”
“I’m boring, anyway,” Rhys added. Feyre elbowed him hard.
“This is not how I thought this was going to go,” Gwyn admitted. Azriel, his hands on her shoulders, was walking her to the half empty bottle of whiskey.
“At least we have alcohol to numb the pain,” Feyre joked. There were giggles in response.
At least they had each other.