#somethingawful

[sodaski]

` ` You look quite divine tonight

Here among these vibrant lights. ` `

[slenderzalgogoonerr]

Slenderman is the ONLY creepypasta character that is allowed to be twinkified.

It's in the name. Slender. Man. Draw that man with a tiny waist and long legs and a fat ass IMMEDIATELY.

[som3thingawful]

At the request of @machinev1 and @slenderzalgogoonerr I have turned Zalgo into a marketable plushie!

...

AND HE’S NOT ALONE!!!

|

Make sure to buy him an (ex) lover to keep him company!!!

Don’t want an agent of chaos in your room?

Get him in human form too!

[evilfishguy]

Happy Valentine’s Day to the stinklings

I’m a little late but it’s okay

(Also ignore the bad quality idk why it’s like that 💔)

[crescent-canine]

Zalender Headcanons

Probably part 1 because I have so many headcanons for them oh my god- (not even just them as a couple but them on their own as well) Buckle in gang, this is gonna be Long. Somebody sedate me, they're so---😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

SFW Headcanons

⦻ THE royal power couple. Zalgo being the King of Hell, and the primordial God of Chaos, Madness, and Insanity, is already powerful enough on his own. Add in his husband (or 'mate' in demon culture), a powerful Eldritch being and the God of Order? They're practically unstoppable.

⦻ Really, the universe should be grateful they're so in love. I mean, they kinda already have to work together to keep reality running (because purely Order or purely Chaos would be a shitshow). Basically, they're like yin and yang. Can't have one without the other.

⦻ Slenderman is Zalgo's order, his peace, usually the voice of reason, able to cut through his ever-chaotic thoughts and make him settle for a little while. Zalgo is Slenderman's chaos, ever unpredictable, pulling him away from work to take a break, to let loose and have some fun.

⦻ Also THE yapper x listener couple. Usually it's Zalgo who is yapping about anything and everything and Slenderman just listens, occasionally chiming in. But sometimes, Zalgo can get Slenderman to talk for hours, and it's the highlight of his week.

⦻ They both adore the sound of each other's voice. Zalgo's voice is deep and warm, like a comforting fire, tinted with a hint of mania. Slenderman's voice is slightly less deep, more static-y, and there's a rasp that reminds Zalgo of the turning of pages in an old book.

⦻ Zalgo talks more casually (something his parents hated and tried to 'fix', since they found it unbecoming for a demon of his status. It didn't work), while Slenderman talks in a more archaic way.

⦻ (For example, where Zalgo would say 'don't', Slenderman would say 'do not'; or 'gonna' and 'going to').

⦻ Slenderman's petnames for Zalgo are (my) love, darling, beloved, (my) dear, and my Chaos, and Zal.

⦻ Zalgo's petnames for Slenderman are dearest, my flame, my spark, (my) love, my Order, (my) mate, Slender and Slen.

⦻ Zalgo's love languages are physical touch, quality time, and gift-giving.

⦻ Slenderman's love languages are acts of service, quality time and words of affirmation.

⦻ Zalgo can usually be found touching Slenderman in some way. Either leaning on his shoulder, draped over his back, lacing their hands, or his tail wrapped around his waist.

⦻ Slenderman pretends to begrudgingly accept this. Deep down, he loves it - it makes him feel wanted, since it's a very instinctual thing for Zalgo to do.

⦻ Slenderman reciprocates by wrapping a tendril around Zalgo - arm, hip, waist, or leg, depending on how 'proper' he's feeling and who else is around.

⦻ Zalgo adores it when Slenderman brings him tea and little snacks while he works - he know his mate worries about him overworking himself and that this is his quiet way of making sure Zalgo takes care of himself.

⦻ Zalgo LOVES to shower Slenderman in gifts. He scours the worlds for rare books, tomes, and scrolls to give to his beloved. And jewellery, too - gold with precious gemstones (relevant to my au hehehe). He knows Slenderman isn't big on wearing jewellery (besides their wedding band and for formal events) but it soothes his instincts.

⦻ After a long day at work, they love to retreat to the peace and quiet of their at-home (castle, really) library.

⦻ Adding onto that, I am adopting @slenderzalgogoonerr 's headcanon that Zalgo is dyslexic and has dyscalculia. Because, you know, God of Chaos and all. And if there's one thing that has rules and order, it's words and math. Ew.

⦻ Meaning that during those quiet evenings, Zalgo likes to put his head on Slenderman's lap while Slenderman reads to him. A bonus is when Slenderman runs his hand through his hair.

⦻ Occasionally, Zalgo will give Slenderman a shoulder massage. Slenderman melts every time.

⦻ While Zalgo loves to listen to Slenderman talk, Slenderman loves it when Zalgo hums or even sings. Zalgo usually hums beneath his breath when he's focussing, but he occasionally sings to Slenderman. Often when it's just the two of them in the ballroom or in a clearing in the forest and they're slow dancing.

⦻ They've been going strong for millennia! Top notch communication skills (although they're not without their petty moments).

⦻ This is, in part, due to Slenderman having his own mansion, in the middle of the forest, to retreat to when all the royal stuff (or Zalgo) gets too insane. He needs his peace and quiet!! Or he'll just murder the Court one day lol. He has no idea how Zalgo can stand the lot.

⦻ (A lot of dissociation, usually. Or selective hearing. Or both.)

⦻ Zalgo knows his mate is more introverted than he is, and tries to give him space whenever he needs it.

⦻ Another part of it is them accepting each other's little quirks, having known each other for so long that it's almost expected. And going on regular date nights!

⦻ Ruling a kingdom is stressful, so they usually help each other with stress relief. With the quiet evenings in the library, for example. Or by sparring, taking a nice, long bath, walking in a forest, or cuddles in bed.

NSFW Headcanons (18+)

⦻ Or some other kind of 'stress relief' ;)

⦻ Yeah, with Zalgo's libido being incredibly high, those cuddles often turn into something else.

⦻ They're both switches, but Zalgo bottoms and subs more.

⦻ It's something about relinquishing power and not having to be in control for once that draws him in.

⦻ Slenderman revels in that. He's so incredibly honoured and proud that his Chaos God trusts him so much with that part of him. He knows Zalgo acts all high and mighty and dominant in front of his subjects, and he lets him have that. But behind closed doors, he's not afraid to help Zalgo remember his place.

⦻ Which he usually needs to do when Zalgo is super agitated from a day of interacting with the Court. It's like a reset of sorts. It doesn't happen often, but it is intense.

⦻ Because when Zalgo is in a Mood from the Court's bullshit? He's tense, agitated, practically buzzing with his powers acting up from his emotions. Like that, Slenderman usually can't coax him into submission.

⦻ So Slenderman teleports them to a secluded area to fight (because Zalgo threw a fit the one time they forgot and subsequently destroyed half the castle with their fighting and fucking). It's brutal, dirty, and they don't hold back. Then, when it's all out of Zalgo's system... that's when the arousal slams in full-force. Because seeing Slenderman like that, all wild and feral? Yeah, Zalgo is gone.

⦻ On rare occasions, Slenderman will bottom. It doesn't automatically means he subs, though.

⦻ He's quiet, both when he tops and bottoms. Just some heavy breathing and the occasional moan, grunt or growl. When Slenderman bottoms, Zalgo loves to draw more sounds out of him, coaxing him to let loose.

⦻ Zalgo, meanwhile, is very vocal and needy. He'll moan, whine, growl, purr, and ramble. He'll even whimper if he's needy enough and Slenderman isn't touching him.

⦻ Slenderman doesn't beg. Ever. Zalgo had tried to get him to do so at the beginning of their relationship, but it was awkward at best and uncomfortable at worst. Slenderman's version of begging is giving Zalgo some nudges (gentle or not) into the direction he wants him to go.

⦻ Onto the more kinky stuff!

⦻ Zalgo is a masochist, and Slenderman is a sadist.

⦻ Zalgo can be a real brat, and Slenderman is not afraid to set him straight. Either by spanking, degradation, edging, or any combination of the three.

⦻ Even better if he cries, in Slenderman's opinion. He gets so turned on from seeing Zalgo cry during sex.

⦻ Zalgo loves to be restrained by Slenderman's tendrils. Slenderman loves it, too - it makes him feel closer to his beloved.

⦻ They both love marking each other up. Leaving scratches, hickeys and even bites. It's as much of a claim as it is out of love. They're very possessive.

⦻ Zalgo has a breeding kink. Both for himself, and towards Slenderman. I have no reason for it other than 'demon instincts'.

⦻ When he's in the mood for it, Zalgo loves being degraded. Just a mean look and a derisive 'Your Majesty' from Slenderman has his knees buckling.

⦻ Slenderman, when he bottoms, loves it when Zalgo puts him in a headlock and chokes him. Something about feeling his husband's muscles, knowing and feeling how strong Zalgo is, turns him pliant and needy.

And that's it! For now at least. I'm sure I'm forgetting a ton of headcanons, or some that don't make sense without the worldbuilding for my au. But for now, enjoy these!

[machinev1]

Shitposting is so much fun

yea i genuinely do not take this seriously, i love this. (drew most of these with my finger) enjoy, use any of them as you please !

[widelymellowzone]

[slenderzalgolover]

Hi! It's me!

You may remember me if you've ever followed any SlenderZalgo tag in existence.

It's me Madam! Or, according to @/h0ll0wt0wn, simply just 'Gooner'...I guess now I'm 'Lover'? Nah, Gooner's just more my brand. My accounts randomly got terminated and I'm waiting for them to come back. If Tumblr responds and I get my accounts back, THIS WILL BECOME AN ARCHIVE / ALT!

Currently, @grandconspiracycomic is unable to be accessed right now due to side blog issues. I'm working on that too! If it doesn't come back, then I'll have to make a whole other account. Yay!

I'm your spokesperson for this rarepair and my job is not only to recruit you BUT to spread the gospel of this wonderful, over hated rarepair.

SPREAD THE WORD! IT'S ME AND I'M BACK BABY! With a less inappropriate username because yeah there's a chance that's the reason I got terminated.

SlenderZalgo headcanon:

THEYRE GAY AND IT'S CANON BABY!