I'm a giant ball of stress. I'm broke, I'm facing a huge month of bills and I hate working just to pay more freaking bills. As a Mom, I feel trapped. I love my kids but to be a good Mom I need to pick them up from school and drop them off at places and it limits the time I'm available to work. Every tax, every deduction on my paycheck feels heavy right now. I've got nothing in savings and rock bottom feels just too close for comfort.
I haven't been able to pick up or afford my meds so my anxiety is sky high. I want to recover from my eating disorder, I want to find peace in my own brain, I want to live some wonderful life filled with travel, good food and strong relationships but I'm failing.
Lord, I'm just looking for help, direction and maybe some cash. If I could just get out of this paycheck to paycheck life, if I could just get 1 foot out of this hole. I want to find a way out but I feel as if I'm falling deeper.
I'm going to get some sleep now but tomorrow the sun is going to come up, I'm going to go into work early and I'm going to make an extra $15. Somehow, some day I'm going to dig out and until then I'm not going to beat myself up. I'm also going to start appreciating what I have and knowing that I don't need anything else. I guess I'm back to Tumblr as I work thru my addictions and start to heal. Maybe I can help someone along the way, maybe someone can help me, maybe just maybe we can all find a way out of our own holes.