summary: bucky deserves a break, reader is there to hold him together through the breaking process.
word count: 1754
note: this is for my queen @killmongerdreams‘s song roulette writing challenge that she made like 8 months ago and im generally a shitty writer so here’s my submission mid-august. title obviously inspired by the song. angst galore i think so if you feel deeply about one james barnes then proceed with caution. tysm to @eightiesbucky and @prettyyoungtragedy for beta’ing.
prompt: (song) Cellophane by Sia
masterlist
Lugging several heavy paper bags of grocery, she locked her car and began to make her way up the steps to her porch, when she stopped cold in her tracks. A silhouette sat on the steps, blocking the light from the overhead porchlight and casting a bulky and - if she didn’t know any better - very scary shadow on the ground below. If he noticed her presence in the darkness of the night, then he made no indication of it.
Look at me, I’m such a basket case
Delivered to you wrapped in cellophane
Waiting on your doorstep everyday
Deliver, a basket filled with pain
She took a moment to take in the mental state he could be in, judging by his seemingly defeated body language. His head was hanging so low it was almost below his shoulders, dark hair covering his beautiful azure eyes and probably bitten-red lips. His whole body looked like a live wire just about ready to explode - that’s how she knows he’s staying with her for the night.
Bucky always ends up at her doorstep on the worst nights. It would usually begin with him going out for a walk to distract his mind by people-watching, but would more often than not end with him in all his cracked glory, inches away from completely falling apart. Bucky always fought the exact same internal war within himself when he reached Y/N’s porch, blaming himself for bringing her his own pain and sorrow and becoming a burden on her otherwise very mundane and safe life.
Patience is your virtue, saint o’mine
I’d have fallen through the cracks without your love tonight
I’m your groundhog and I’m skating on thin ice
Y/N, on the other hand, invited him in. She coddled him and took care of him, fed him and gave him a lap to lay his head on and hands that run through his hair, every single time and without fail. Her patience with him was endless, Bucky was more than sure that he’d have lost his mind ages ago and would’ve had to be put back in cryo if it weren’t for her presence. He was always a hairline fracture away from breaking, but when he was with her he forgot about all the cracks inside him and could focus on her actions thoughts and feelings, instead of drowning in what’s inside of himself.
Tonight, she knew is worse than most nights, so she rushed to unlock the door to her house, managing to deliberately brush against the side of his bionic arm on her way- in order not to startle him with any skin-on-skin contact, and to silently tell him that I’m here for you, anything you need.
Through that one simple action, she felt the tremors making their way through his body, felt how close he is to losing himself, just how afraid he was of it, and how much effort it was taking him to keep himself together. Just long enough until he could be surrounded by her warmth and feel her hands run through his hair. That’s what it usually took to keep him tethered to the points of contact between them so that he can prevent himself from falling into the terrifying oblivion he thought he would never be able to come back from. Just long enough until she could come and hold him together while he falls apart.
He looked up with glazed over eyes, showing a mind that is barely hanging onto the thread keeping him present in this reality. His lips trembled when he made the effort to get his throat working and croaked out, “I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N. I don’t mean or want to be your basket case. I-”
The grim look on Y/N’s face, the stern glint in her eyes and the firm, “No,” she gave him told him that she wasn’t going to take any of what he was saying.
But you see me at your feet and carry me inside
She dropped the grocery bags on the kitchen counter at record speed and rushed back out on the porch to put a grounding hand on his leather-covered metal hand so as to usher him inside to the warmth of her modest house. She didn’t bother peeling her coat or his jacket off of either of them, she knew that every second she wasted was a second closer to some very-hard-to-repair mental damage.
Can’t you see I’m wrapped in cellophane
Watch the blood pump through my veins
Electricity floods my brain
Can’t hide the pain, can’t hide the pain
When you’re wrapped in cellophane
She heard the first choked sound just as she maneuvered Bucky’s head into her lap while she sat cross-legged above him. The suddenness of the sound made Y/N feel her own heart fracturing.
A head massage isn’t gonna do it.
She swiftly hooked her arms under his and somehow lifted him enough so that his back was to her chest. She wraped her arms across his torso and pulled him to her as tight as she could. Her hands framed his face softly from behind, feeling more than seeing and tracing his features from memory.
The tape that had been wrapping Bucky together so far was falling apart quicker than he thought it should, resulting in him being in his current state. All he saw when he looked at his own hands side by side were the veins pumping blood in his flesh hand and the phantom veins that should exist why aren’t they there on his bionic one. All he remembered when he closed his eyes was the feeling of the mouthguard filling his mouth and the phantom ache in his teeth from biting into it so hard, hearing the buzz of the electricity from The Chair and the sickening dread that pours from his stomach throughout his whole being whenever he was forced to sit in it. If he stayed still long enough, he could still remember the feeling of the electricity flooding his head and jumbling it so bad that his brain has no choice but to turn into unusable mush.
When cellophane is the only thing holding you together, no matter how hard you try to hide it, your pain and brokenness doesn't disappear. Nothing can hide it. Even if you think you’ve gotten good enough in pretending otherwise, there’s always some people who always know what you’re going through.
Look at me, I’m such a basket case
While I fall apart, you’ll hide all my pills again
And all the things I need to hear you say
You’ll watch as all my thoughts get right back on the train
Bucky had lost control of his limbs, or maybe he was too inside his own head to know what his body was doing to itself. Because his flesh hand started scratching over his layers of clothes covering his left shoulder, while his left hand pressed so hard into his right hip it looks like it fucking hurt. But he didn’t stop.There was a hysterical and terrified look on his face when Y/N climbed off of the couch they were sat on to take his face firmly into her hands to try and tether him back to the ground through her own touch.
She was almost shaken off by Bucky’s vigorous quivering and she distantly registered that there were tears streaming down her own face too but she didn’t care because this innocent man sitting right in front of her is breaking and he doest deserve all this pain. And yet, all she could do was pull his face into the crook of her neck and place firm close-lipped kisses on his head while he sobbed and trembled and she just felt so weak and useless goddamnit.
“It’s all over, Buck. They’re never getting to you again, I promise. I’ll move the forces of heaven and earth and go to hell before I let any of them even get the chance to lay a hand on you. You’re right here with me and I’m never letting you go. None of what you’re remembering and thinking of right now is ever going to repeat. Please come back to me Bucky, please. I need you to be here with me, can you do that? Can you look at me and give me a nod if all of you is here?”
After another few minutes of trying to coax him back to her, he managed to look back at her with drained, defeated eyes- present eyes nonetheless. Bucky nodded at her, letting her know that a part of him heard her request and he wasn’t actively falling apart anymore.
She sighed out a deep sigh of relief, brought her forehead to rest on his. Y/N closed her eyes and began rambling out of pure relief, "You’re okay, always gonna be when you’re with me. You don’t deserve any of the pain you go through, I wish I could take it all away from you. You deserve a better life and the universe is just fucking cruel for putting you through what it has.”
Somewhere throughout her ramble, she felt his hands on her cheeks, wiping her own actively streaming tears. Y/N cut her rant off and opened her eyes, looking directly his own sad ones. “I’m so sorry this world broke you this much. You deserve so much better and I don’t know how to give it to you. Please tell me what I can do for you to right at least a fraction of what shitty fate has done to you. Just- just tell me what I can do for you Bucky,” she sagged into him from her position on the floor in front of where he sat on the couch.
Bucky just kept caressing her cheeks with his thumbs, neither of them knowing if their tears have stopped or not. He closed his eyes, slowly and innocently leaning forward.
Two pairs of lips touch, not out of want or need, but out of a much deeper drive that neither of them could deny. Maybe it’s the universe trying to fix the mistakes it had made with Bucky, bringing him the first good thing when he needed her most, properly sealing the bond that is currently searing ineradicable marks of each other on their hearts.
i hope y’all don’t mind that i added some of y’all who haven’t exactly asked to be on my taglist, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do for some publicity :) if you don’t wanna be there just shoot me a text pls n ty <3
Words: 2.4K (Y'all know I have absolutely no chill with songfics)
Pairing: Steve x Reader
Summary: Steve watches your relationship fall apart after questioning your loyalty.
Warnings: Bad Language, mentions of injuries, violence and SMUT if you are under 18 I kindly ask you to leave this page.
A/N: This is my entry to @killmongerdreams song roulette challenge! This was based on Cherry Wine by Hozier. Also the Gif is not mine but gawd, I wish Steve Rogers was.
MASTERLIST
12:45 P.M.
"This is the third mission I'm out. Is there a reason why?" - Your tone of voice sounded harsh as you felt the air getting knocked out of your lungs.
Her eyes and words are so icy
Oh but she burns
Like rum on the fire
Steve avoided your gaze, placing a couple pieces of paper black on top of the desk. The room went completely silent - simply because no one in their right mind would ever contradict a direct order of Captain fucking America.
"Not here, Agent [Y/L/N]" Steve murmured.
That was the last drop. You stood up from your chair, placing both hands in the desk to balance your shaken body. Agent. You've loved him since you've remembered, you cared for him, fought by his side and left everything behind to follow his lead to Wakanda... To be sheltered from everything that Steve considered danger.
"Now. Captain Rogers, I'm demanding an explanation, Steve..." Your enunciated, as your body fell into agony. To truly love someone, you need to respect them - his lack of consideration for your own feelings was nothing but painful. “NOW!”
Hot and fast and angry as she can be
I walk my days on a wire.
"I believe you are not qualified enough to go underground, Agent [Y/L/N]. As an fellow Avenger I've seen you consider the accords before. I need to make sure where your loyalty stands. " Steve's eyes finally met yours as he elaborated that complete bullshit.
"I'm out because I cared? What type of-" But the words never came out of your mouth. Steve raised a hand as your mouth opened in a perfect O. Sam and Natasha exchanged looks as Nat stood up and walked towards you, placing an encouraging hand on your shoulder.
"Steve you should rethink-" Natasha stared, but Steve simply stood up crossing his arms in front of his body as the room went silent again.
"Agent Romanoff, I've made my decision very clear. Again, [Y/N], you are out of this mission because I believe you to be unqualif-" You refused to listen to whatever harsh lies came out of his mouth. Pinching the bridge of your nose and closing your eyes.
It looks ugly, but it's clean,
Oh momma, don't fuss over me.
You felt your love slowly dying, as anger took its place.
With one simple movement you took the tactical knife from inside your black combat boots and threw it gracefully at the man you loved. The knife hit Steve right above his left ear, causing it to bleed - risky move, worth it.
However. Not fucking enough.
Taking a pistol from Natasha's holster you emptied an entire magazine in seconds. The bullets painted a close outline around Steve's body. You tossed the gun across the table towards him.
“I’m gearing up. We are leaving for this mission together." You shouted. "And next time you ever consider questioning where my loyalty fucking stands remember I’m the one you’ve shared a bed for the past year.”
You turned around, leaving the room with a shaky breath. "Your things will be packed and out the door by morning light.”
The realization of his mistake painted his face.
It was too late now.
"[Y/N] wait..."
Turning around you saw as Natasha positioned herself between the door and Steve. His eyes carried nothing but sadness - and at that moment somehow, it didn't mattered.
You’ve put your heart and soul into fighting for what was right. Doing the right thing. Saving the ones who needed saving.This life... This job... You’ve known pain, you’ve know loss. Loyalty was something you took serious.
And watching as the man you loved questioned it in front of the ones you considered family caused your heart to break in ways you've never felt before.
The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine
Open hand or closed fist would be fine
The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.
-
8:15 P.M.
"You are hurt" His voice was nothing but a whisper, you walked towards the Medical Center bathroom silently as Steve closed the door. Walking towards the full body mirror you unzipped your black catsuit, revealing a black sports bra and shorts. “Can we- talk, about- can we talk about us?”
You ignored. Analyzing your own reflection you came to the conclusion: you looked like a fucking mess. The small cut above your eyebrow caused dry blood to stain part of your forehead and eyelids - the blood, matched your right black eye... that matched your split bottom lip.
There was a bullet hole on your right shoulder and an explosion of colors on the side of your right ribcage. Every single part of your body was aching. But none of that could ever compare to the feeling you had inside your chest.
You felt your anger slowly dying, as sadness took its place.
“There’s no us. Not anymore.”
Calls of guilty thrown at me
All while she stains
The sheets of some other
Thrown at me so powerfully
Just like she throws with the arm of her brother.
From the reflection you saw as Steve's eyes traveled to every single inch of your body. Inspecting. Ensuring. You saw the guilt in his gaze but stood your ground in silence. Steve approached your body with caution, his fingerprint brushed against your lower back and you couldn't deny it - his touched would always feel warm and welcoming. He closed the distance in between, pulling you closer as your back collided against his chest.
Steve rested his forehead on your-not-so-fucked-up shoulder and for a minute you felt it. That familiar warmth...
Your sadness slowly dying, as a delightful feeling invaded your body.
Not love.
Not... love?
"Agent [Y/L/N]" You heard a soft knock, followed by the voice of what you guessed to be one of the nurses. "I'm here to care for your injuries."
You walked past Steve, swinging the door open in silence.
"Oh Captain Roger's I wasn't aware of your pre-" She spoke
"Captain Rogers was on his way out." You hissed, avoiding his eyes once again. “My report will be at your desk in the morning. If theres nothing else you need I kindly suggest you to get the fuck out.”
And the pain that consumed your body was nothing compared to the one lacerating pain filling your soul and chest, as you watched a small tear fall from his beautiful blue eyes.
But I want it
It's a crime
That she's not around most of the time.
1:55 A.M.
You walked towards the kitchen late at night. The rain poured endlessly outside. You stopped, turning towards the one of the full body windows in the living room. There was always some type peace that thunderstorms bought you.
There was an uncertain explanation to how it made you feel present. The heavy rain, the lightening, the dark skies... It always made your worries fade away.
That and Steve.
“You look exhausted” His voice made your stomach drop.
You think about the devil and apparently, he comes running.
"Don’t remember asking.” You spoke under your breath, making your way towards the kitchen again.
Steve leaned against the kitchen counter, rolling up the sleeves of his navy blue long sleeve. You took a second to actually watch him, taking a step closer. His suffering was as evident as yours.
His blonde hair was messy, like he was probably running his fingers thought it frequently - something he always did when uncomfortable. There was heavy bags under his eyes. Steve was pale - and if he wasn't a super soldier, you could swear the man was ill.
You cupped his face gently. Something that caught both of you by surprise.
“Falling for a man who doesn't trust me is exhausting” You raised yourself on your tippy toes, placing a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose followed by one in each side of his face and finally bringing your lips against his for a small and sweet kiss. “I can’t let you in again.”
“Baby... [Y/N].. Please just listen-” He leaned forward, touching your forehead with his lips.
The way she shows me I'm hers and she is mine
Open hand or closed fist would be fine
Blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.
“I can’t.” The tears came crashing down your face, heavy like the rain as you softly spoke. “Not until you trust me... And maybe not even after that."
It took all the courage you've had left to turn around and leave.
But when you did, this time, you made sure not to look back.
Her fight and fury is fiery
2:05 A.M.
He didn't knock, causing you to jump in surprise as he invaded the room. Steve kicked the door closed, and as your body collided against his you felt with urgency how much your body craved his touch.
“I did it because I’m scared of losing you.” He spoke and you simply watched. You could see everything. The frustration, the sadness and the love. “I did it because I fucking love you enough to bring the entire world to ashes if anything ever happens to you.”
“I’m so fucking sorry, [Y/N]... But I did it out of love. I’m sorry for the words I’ve said but I don’t regret trying to protect you.”
And with that confession, a heavy weight got lifted from your shoulders. You might have never forgiven Steve if he indeed had question your loyalty... But you also understood a couple things about loving someone to the point of madness.
“I will never be able to understand how your mind works Captain Rogers.” You sighed. “But I’m sorry too... For a lot of things, actually. Except kinda shooting you. You deserved it.”
The tension that filled the room became inexistent in seconds. And you couldn't feel more grateful as you felt after seeing Steve smile again.
“Kinda shooting me? [Y/L], Love... You emptied Romanoff’s entire magazine in seconds.” He chuckled. “Even Sam was holding his breath, speechless.”
“Well shit. That’s good news.” You laughed.
Oh but she loves
Like sleep to the freezing
“Don’t ever do that again.” You whispered in a serious tone. “Don’t ever question how loyal I am to you. To them... Steve, I only didn't pack my bags that night because Nat talked some sense into me but fuck, I was ready to leave.”
Steve watched you in silence. His fingertips traveled from your hands towards your neck slowly and painfully. Until finally his lips crashed against yours once more.
“I want you.” You cried, while your hands traveled down until finally meeting his erection. “Take me, Steve.”
Sweet and right and merciful
I'm all but washed
In the tide of her breathing.
He moaned against your lips, exploring your mouth with urgency. Clawing his back with your nails, leaving small red lines with blood as you opened up his jeans and freed his erection.
He pushed you against the bed like so many times before, taking off your long t-shirt with one move and underwear with other. Opening your eyes you saw his impatience matching yours.
Two dumb fools, madly in love with each other - and almost running out of time to make things right.
His kisses alternated in between your chest while teasing your nipples. His hands - everywhere. Only getting away for a split second, time enough for him to get rid of his own clothes. Placing one of your legs around his hips, Steve pushed himself inside with only one movement.
And hearing his luscious moan against your ear could have made you cum right there.
His thrust were precise, slowly burning your insides - you felt overwhelmed with bliss. Your gripped his hair, forcing him to look at you in the eye and for all heavens. His face was almost too angelical.
Crimson cheeks, semi-open mouth and lustful, lustful eyes.
You forced your hips matching his rhythm as Steve played with you clit, and when you kissed him, something within him changed.
Steve placed one hand above the headboard, getting enough leverage to fuck you harder and stronger. The entire bed moved as you and Steve did so, crashing against the wall over and over as you wrapped your legs around his waist in an attempt to keep yourself in place.
You felt your body burning, like a low fever. Sweat was dripping from both your bodies. Your orgasm hit you once as without being able to breath Steve took everything you've offered him.
“I love you” He whispered “I fucking love you.”
Twice as he spilled himself inside of you violently. Filling you completely, your high matching him in an endless moment.
Because nothing made you feel more complete than Steve.
And it's worth it, it's divine
I have this some of the time.
Now by your side, he pulled you closer. You back against his chest while both of you struggled to breath.
“I’m scared [Y/N]." He whispered, placing a slow and gentle kiss against your neck. “I’m fucking terrified.”
“Falling in love is supposed to be scary, Steve.” You murmured, bringing his hands to your lips.
“Aren’t you scared?” He questioned.
The way she shows me I'm hers and she is mine
A million thoughts went trough your head for a second.
“No.” You answered. “I have Steve Rogers to watch my six. He’s a great fella, you know. Kinda of an asshat sometimes but aren't we all?”
“Is that so?” He chuckled, nuzzling against your skin. “You like the guy?”
“Oh, darling... I fucking love him.” You whispered, saying those words for the very first time after everything felt refreshing.
“[Y/N]?” -Steve called, with a serious voice. Forcing you to turn around and face him. You stared at him in complete silence for a second, overthinking the power your words might have had. He smiled, touching the side of your face delicately and bringing your lips dangerously close before speaking with amusement “Language”
Open hand or closed fist would be fine
The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.
Warnings: some fairly heavy smut but nothing you’ll need to bleach your brain for, revenge, mentions of violence, blood,
Notes: I took the smut from a chapter of one of my novels which I’ll link down below. I mean, if you squint, there’s plot in here somewhere. Also, the girl main character, whom I chose to remain ambiguous so you can put yourself in her place if you’d like, is bisexual!
*********
“I'm just a sucker
For a cold-hearted lover
You make me suffer.”
She came home late for the third time that week.
She snuck in the front door of the secure Avengers building, tiptoeing over to the elevator and trying not to sound some sort of alarm. The last thing she wanted to do was wake up any of the other Avengers because they’d never let her forget it. The elevator doors opened for her and she stepped in, pressing and illuminating the light for her floor. Her body ached; her muscles told her exactly how they felt, but her heart was harder to interpret. Nothing could satiate it, she tried so hard to understand what it wanted but even after she tried everything it still felt unsatisfied. Her death created a hole that could never be filled because it was meant just for her.
She stepped off the elevator and immediately saw a light on in the living room area. It was none other than Steve Rogers laying on the couch and reading a book. She swallowed hard, cursing to herself, he was a witness to her late arrival and would certainly ask more questions than she felt comfortable answering. Her silhouette was still hidden in the darkness of the rest of the room, but the elevator ding was sure to give her away. Silently, she slipped her stilettos off her feet, trying not to make a sound as she stared at Steve’s shadow cast against the far wall. She was waiting for a sign that he knew she was there, and it didn’t take her very long to get it.
Steve flipped the page in his book and didn’t look up at her.
“Late again, huh?” He asked. She didn’t respond. Instead, she held her breath, though hiding her presence at this point was a useless cause.
“Don’t be shy, I know you’re there. It’s just me, you know. Everyone else is asleep. Quit hiding, what do you think I’m gonna do? I mean, I know you have a secret but I don’t know it, so you don’t have anything to be afraid of.”
She stepped further into the room, her bare feet against the cold hard wood floor. She placed her shoes down by a chair and walked over to the counter and the sink. She propped her leg up on the chair and raised up the right side of her dress to reveal a lace thigh holster where she removed a knife from. The metal clanked on the counter and she went over to the sink and washed her hands. She scrubbed at the dried blood from underneath her fingernails and washed the red flow down the drain. She wasn’t proud of her actions, but she did what had to be done.
"Hope I wasn't interrupting anything." She apologized. “You seemed busy,” She continued, trying to divert the conversation away from his questions and prying eyes, but that was hard when she was emptying out the remaining bullets in her revolver she pulled from her other thigh holster.
“Me? I was just reading. You, on the other hand, seemed to be much busier.”
“Steve, I did what I needed to, okay?!” She harshly answered.
“I believe you. I just don’t know if it was the right choice.”
“Well, I have news for you, Steve- that’s not your decision to make.”
“I know, but you’re not going to get the answers you’re looking for this way.”
Steve closed his book and took off his glasses, putting both on the table next to him. The dim glow of the lamp made him look gorgeous, the shadows settling into his cheekbones and the light reflecting just enough off his eyes. He was wearing a black v-neck shirt, gray sweatpants and a green and black flannel, not realizing how attractive he looked in the moment.
“I just want to know that you’re doing this for the right reasons.”
“I thought you said you didn’t know my secrets.”
“I don’t. I just know that something is torturing you and you’re trying everything in your power to fix it. I just don’t want you to hurt yourself or anyone else, but I think I’m just a little too late.”
“Steve, I don’t need this right now, especially not from you-” She said, frustrated at how close he was to finding out her truth, trying to exit the room by sidestepping him.
“Did you kill someone tonight?” He asked, standing in her way of leaving. Steve swallowed hard, knowing that she had every capability in the world of killing, especially when someone got on her bad side. Steve’s eyes glanced over at the counter and he counted the bullets that she emptied out of her six shot revolver. There were only five.
“Don’t lie to me,” he began. “That’s all I ask of you.”
“No, I didn’t kill anyone, but I don’t feel better either.”
“That’s okay. You’re still grieving, we all understand that. I want you to know that we’re all here for you and want to help in any way we can, only if you want our help. But if you take our help or not, nothing is going to bring her back. She’s gone and you can kill the people that killed her, but it’s not going to change what happened. I know you loved her, but she wouldn’t want you to be spilling more blood in exchange for hers. That was never her, and she didn’t want the same for you.” Steve said, trying to rationalize with her. He brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear and wiped a drop of blood off her face.
“I’ll help you do whatever you need to do to get through this. I just wished you’d talk to me. I know I can’t replace her, but you don’t need to sneak in through the window minutes before the sun rises to sneak back into bed with me. I want to help, and I wish you could see how much I care about you.” He admitted to her, his hands on her waist and his tired eyes locked on hers.
“Why do you think I don’t see that?” She responded, only a little irritated.
“You make me suffer every day because I know you don’t look at me the same way as her. I know I can’t compare myself to her, but I know how cold you can be and sometimes I think you’re just ice when you’re around me no matter how much I try and show you my love.”
“Well, let me show you how warm I can be, Steve.”
So here we go, go again
It's like I'm caught under your spell
You're wearing black, black magic
Well baby, don't wear nothing else
Before he could get another word out, she pushed herself up on the counter and straddled his legs, cupping his face in her hands and kissing him. He sunk into the kiss right away, taken aback at first but falling into her. He relaxed his shoulders and his hands migrated to her waist. He indulged in the soft blue velvet of her dress, admiring how it flattered her curves. Admittedly, it would look great on her and on the floor.
She flung her jacket across the room, letting her hair fall in front of her breasts and her lacy bralette. He exhaled heavily, completely in awe by her body.
"This was a surprise." He said into her neck. "I wasn't expecting this."
His hands slid from her waist down to her butt, lifting her from the countertop and he held on as if it were his only lifeline. He sat back on the couch while she pushed his flannel off his shoulders and grabbed onto the hem of his shirt and pulled it upwards off his body. She kissed down his neck and chest, teasing him as she moved further down. She stopped at his bellybutton and slowly grinded against his thigh as she moved to meet his lips again. He breathed in slowly, his body completely tensed up in response to her actions. She pushed his sweatpants further down on his hips to reveal his boxers and as she continued moving her hips against his leg she could feel him growing.
She pressed her lips against his once more and he responded with fervor. He slid her dress up her hips and revealed her lacy underwear and got adventurous with his hands, but teasing her just as she did to him. She gasped at the feeling of his fingertips trailing up the inside of her thighs, surpassing her lacy thigh holsters all the way up to her most-guarded area. He bit his lip with a smirk and kissed her neck, leaving a trail of love bites down to her breasts.
At that point he grabbed her waist and flipped her over, her blonde hair sprawling out all over the throw pillow. She was quite a sight to see in the gentle lighting underneath him, and that visual, her position, made nasty thoughts he hadn't had in decades cross his mind. She did something to him that he couldn't quite explain, but he was under the complete control of her mind, body and spirit. He knew that for sure.
He held her wrists down above her head with one of his hands and he cupped her breast with the other, feeling the soft and delicate skin that was hidden away. She pressed her hips up to meet his, his presence more prevalent than known before. Steve wanted nothing more than to watch her fall apart underneath him, and that's exactly what she wanted from him.
Oh stop tempting me
You know what I want
I wanna make, wanna make love

“Steve, we should go to your room.” She mentioned breathlessly.
“That’s a good idea.” Steve agreed, and they took a few seconds to clear up the evidence anything ever went on on the couch.
She swiftly pulled him inside his room, closing the door behind her. His body fell against the door, his hands sinking to her waist as he pulled her close and their lips met with fervor, her hands getting lost in his fluffy hair. They felt like they were in the movies. They kissed smoothly but quickly, the intensity between them rising even more. His skin was hot against hers as she pulled him over to her bed where she pushed him down and then straddled on his lap, connecting back in their glorious kiss.
She was kissing his neck and driving him absolutely crazy, making him crave her lips against his once more. His hands ran up her side, brushing her breasts as he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her closer, if that was at all possible.
He pushed her back just enough that she would release his neck and have her head fall back perfectly so her chin was tilted up towards the ceiling. He trailed his tongue up from the top of her cleavage slowly up her throat, under the soft skin of her chin and letting his teeth gently grab on to the sensitive skin just under her jaw where he would start his artwork. He created at least four hickeys of varying degrees of size and shades of purple before he nipped at her earlobe before rejoining their lips together.
At this point, they were both ready and Steve gripped around the back of her thighs so his fingertips rested on the inside. She was sure that she would have the outline of his fingers bruised there, since he put pressure there as he made her straddle a little wider as he flipped her over, falling back against the pillows. She pulled off his last layer of clothing and he did the same for her, leaving them completely exposed with one another.
The transition was easy for both of them and all their attention was focused on the main act of the show. Steve didn’t always understand her or what she wanted, but in that moment it was crystal clear. He could see it on her face. Steve was wrapped up in every inch of her, he was absolutely infatuated with her danger, with her incredible ability to make him forget who he was and how much she made him suffer in the best kind of way. She got him hooked up on the feeling of being with her, but he knew that he was sometimes just a distraction for her so she wouldn't have to think about her girlfriend’s death. It was a lot for one man, but it was a weight he chose to bear and was happy to help her.
They laid in bed together after they had fully devoured each other, and Steve was utterly fascinated by how much he still didn’t know about her. He, daresay, was in love with a complete stranger. They had been working together for over two years, but he doesn’t know her hopes, her dreams, her aspirations. He knows the version of herself she wants the world to see, but not the parts of herself she keeps hidden and locked away, not even visible to those she gets close to. It was tearing him apart, not knowing who he was so head-over-heels for, but it was her choice not to let him know. So he would suffer, one more day at a time, as he fell deeper in love with a mystery.
“Steve, do you want to know what happened tonight?” She asked him, breaking their silence.
“I’m only curious if you want to tell.”
“I went to her killer’s house tonight. I found the address, and I had this plan in my head that I would go in, guns blazing with revenge for her. But do you know what I did? When I got there, I choked. I stood in the trees, in the bushes, watching him and all his friends play poker on the deck. They didn’t care about what they had done, and I’m the only one that loses sleep at night over her death. That hit me really hard, because they didn’t know her and they don’t care what they did. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, just another casualty. In their eyes, she was collateral damage, but in my eyes she was everything. Nothing I could ever say or do to these people would make them understand that or make them care. My anger would be for nothing. So I turned around, wanting to come right back home, but I set off a silent alarm at the edge of their property. I couldn’t make it to my car before his security caught up to me. I shot each of them in the leg so they couldn’t run after me but I still had to fight them off with my hands and my little baby knife, and now they know my face, what kind of car I drive and they know I know where they live.”
“That would explain the pine needles that fell out of your hair.” He said, making a connection and trying to lighten the mood.
“So I’m asking for your help, since I think I’m in a lot more trouble now than when this first started.”
“You’ve got it, and your secret is safe with me. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” He stated, knowing that he would protect her until the very end.
But more importantly, she came to him willingly. She told him what had happened that night, and that was a big step for her. He felt like he knew her a little better, he got a look inside her head that he was desperate for a glimpse of for the longest time.
She wasn’t as cold as he initially thought. She cared about everything, and she cared a lot. She was just like him. Even though he couldn’t replace her soulmate and he would never dare try to, he was a sucker for her love. He was one bit closer to understanding her and he would suffer the worst of battles just to piece together the whole picture. Whatever it would take to reach her would be worth it a thousand times over, and he would wait forever if he had to to reach that point.
Yes, he would suffer. And he would do it all for her.
**********
@bookybuns
I had so much fun writing this!! I’m used to writing full novels about characters and their backstory but this was a good change of pace. Let me know what you think!!
