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"Cant sleep?" (Brandon at Mike please~)

Sometimes, life was a little weird. And not just because he was a guardian angel in a relationship with an overworking demigod and had a list of ever-growing predetermined friendships he was entirely responsible for. Which, would be a lot of weirdness, to be fair. But, that wasn't what bothered him.

Mike knew that an angel's age was a complicated subject, and, it was one he tried not to think about too much. The age from when he was born til now, the age from when he was REborn til now, and then the one most angels went by. Because an angel could only age physically, when they aged mentally. The phrase "you're only as old as you feel" was a lot more literal for them. Except... Was it?

Some things about his life here, he loved. The people in his life and his relationships with them, getting to help his charges.. having a job at all was pretty cool. And he loved the cool night air on this balcony, and the warmth of the mug he wrapped his hands around to keep his fingers warm. But... Maybe some things... Were just a little.. off.

His thoughts were interrupted by the soft sound of the glass door sliding open, and he offered Brandon a little smile as he stepped out. Suddenly he wished he'd had another mug of cocoa here to offer him.. "want some?" He asked quietly, sliding the drink in his direction a little, but drawing it back when Brandon declined.

"Can't sleep?"

He half smiled and looked out at the world around them, a kind of sadness creeping in. "I had a lot to think about." He settled for.

Brandon's eyes showed a glint of concern. "Like what?"

For a moment, Mike stayed quiet, now looking down into the chocolatey drink in his hands. "Brandon? .... Do you think I'm immature?" He glanced back up at him now, no smile left on his face. "It's okay if you do, I won't be up- well. I won't be offended at least. It's just... I know some people- other guides- don't like the way that I do things. And I know I'm still new compared to them and maybe it's just an experience thing but.. They don't take me seriously either. Even my family don't really. And you know how much I love them, I would never say anything bad about it but- ... They are always calling me the baby, you know? Baby brother, baby of the family... And I get that, but, still."

He left a long pause hanging for a moment, eyes moving around but not really settling anywhere for long.

"When I died.. I wasn't actually... Old enough to be harvested. They made an exception for me, I mean, it's not something they haven't done before, but, you know, people remember that kind of thing. And they.. well, it's complicated, but, when they have to make you a new body to be in.." He laughed and leant one arm up on the railing, to rest his head in that hand. "This must all sound so weird to you, but, they make you a body and then, you spend a while learning stuff and growing your wings and whatever else. And, with me, they made me older than I was. So I could blend in or something I guess. And they said that, when I actually got older in my head, my body would follow." Now his eyebrows pulled together, and he looked back down into his mug again. "But I don't look any different." He watched the steam flow lazily upward for a moment. "I mean... I feel different, I think. I'm responsible, o do my job, I live on my own- mostly~ I'm not a kid anymore. But how could anyone else know that? They can't look at me and see that I'm older, and it seems like any angel I meet, it's just a matter of time before they realise who I am. I... I don't wanna talk badly about them but, I'm a little sick of people treating me like a kid. Yesterday, some guide in another region called me a pumped up twerp! What's what about??" Now he looked at Brandon briefly, holding that look he had when he got worked up by something. Thankfully, it quickly faded.

"I wanna believe they're wrong, I want to tell them that, right to their entitled, smug, turned out little faces. But then, I go home and the people I love act like I'm a kid too. And, I kinda like it, when it isn't dad thinking he's the boss of me. I'm no good at landings, my wings are smaller than everyone I know and I know they'll get bigger but that's not the point. I get scared at night if there's a noise in the house, and then... All I want is mom to come fix things. And she's really gentle with me, like, more than the others. Like I'm too little to treat the same way. And then at the end of it all, what do I do? What do I when I'm troubled by the whole thing? I make hot cocoa and eat marshmallows. Or- I do what I did tonight and realise I already ate all the marshmallows last night and didn't buy more, so that kinda sucks." He tilted his head towards Brandon, hoping to lighten the mood a little.

"I just... Wonder sometimes if they're right, you know? I look, I mean what, 19, 20 maybe? Older? But, I can't know for sure that's what I am. I do childish things and I get all excited at the holidays.. But it's not like I don't do grown up stuff too, I mean, I'm a mental health worker, a social worker, support worker, recon.. guy, all in one! I take my job seriously and I work hard at it, find out what people need and try to make it happen. It's just not great when this thing follows me around. As soon as someone thinks I'm challenging them or questioning them it's all "kid" this and "butt out" that and "go play with your little friends". How about Lay off, Sarah?! How bout that?"

He sighed a little and drew up his knees tighter. "I just don't know if I'll ever get them to take me seriously."

#aw no #he has a lot on his plate and now #he's made it into a sharing platter #x')#sorry brandon #you've got a sad fluffy boi to comfort #asimplerper #mike luckett