#sorry i exist

[eighth--wonder]

no thoughts just the strong urge to apologize for existing

[buildyourcastleinthe-sky]

I’m so tired of never being enough

[outline-in-chalk]

.

[iamanartichoke]

Taika Waititi negativity, kind of, under the cut. 

My problem with Taika Waititi has nothing to do with his person or his work ethic or his preferred style of movie-making; my problem is that I could give his over-the-top humor a pass if he was capable of any kind of emotional intelligence or depth at all. He really doesn’t seem to be, though. Everyone is a caricature for the lulz, and with Ragnarok, he failed to strike a balance between the humor he wanted and the depth the characters deserved.

So I don’t think it’s malice, necessarily, that makes him disdainful of Loki’s issues and Loki’s character; I think he just literally is incapable of the emotional intelligence it takes to understand someone like that, and so he just brushes it off and makes some jokes. And that’s ... really not okay. 

And it makes him a terrible fit for something like the Loki tv series, because whereas in Ragnarok Loki was a side character, here Loki will be the protagonist and that alone requires that the narrative take an accurate, respectful, genuine look at his issues and his problems and his mindset and portray that on the screen. Because the audience who’s going to be watching the show isn’t going to be distracted/satisfied with jokes and big explosions and shiny CGI. We’re going to expect to finally get a look at things from Loki’s point of view, to see the world through Loki’s eyes. We want to empathize with our protagonist. We want to dig deep into his psyche and get more insight on what makes him tick. We want to know when he’s lying and when he’s not, and why. We want to see him make friends who care for him. We want to see his full potential of abilities and magic. We want all the gaps to be filled in. 

And I’m sorry, but, Taika is just not the person for that job. 

[solar-cr0ss]

I feel wierd all the time. Sometimes nostalgia, sometimes something else, and when I am happy I'm not like super happy. It was happening before I moved, just feeling wierd. Now that ive moved it's kinda worse. I walk around the school and I don't know people, I can't just turn to someone in class and tell them a joke, I can't even eat lunch in the lunchroom because everyday I walk into the and I look around and I don't really know everyone in there enough to ask if I can sit with them and I just get overwhelmed and I feel wierd and I'm not comfortable and I can't just turn to someone in class and ask for help on the problem because they'll think I'm stupid and I'm not in advanced classes anymore what is my grandma going to think when I tell her I dropped advanced classes and I just feel so bad all the time and without my friends here I don't have people reminding me that I'm not terrible and so much shit is going down in my family and I feel like shit all the time and honestly no one is reading this because why would you care Im a piece of shit anyway. I don't even make good grades and I'm lazy and I can't even get my chores done honestly I'm a fucking idiot and I don't even know why I'm feeling this way I just am and I don't want to talk to someone about it because then they'll just tell me that there is something wrong with me and I don't want anything to be wrong I just want to be okay and normal and what the fuck am I going to do when I have to come out to my family as trans. I can't stay the closet for ever now that I've told someone and I just want to be loved and to be okay but I feel like I can't even talk to my s/o about this. I'll just be bothering them and no one should care about me Im sorry I'm wasting your time.

[paleperfectiondinosaur]

id rather drown in water than in my own thoughts

me, sitting in the shower

[iamanartichoke]

I love how so many post-IW fics have Loki alive and well without explanation and they’re not really tagged for AU - it’s just, like, a given that Loki is alive. That whole death thing was just part of the Russos’ fanfic and has no bearing on Loki’s status in canon. 

It just really warms my heart. 

[iamanartichoke]

I’ve lost several followers in the past few days and I think it’s that I am just not expressing myself well right now bc I’m stressed with life, so, this is kind of a general statement to say sorry, I hope I’ll be back to normal soon.