An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Hatchetfield Series - Team StarKid
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Wiggly | Wiggog Y'rath & Original Character(s)
Characters: Wiggly | Wiggog Y'rath, Kai Drew, Paul Matthews, Emma Perkins, Linda Monroe, Wilbur Cross
Additional Tags: most of the characters are mentioned sorry, Character Study, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, in the kai drewniverse??? WHO COULDA THOUGHT, wiggly’s a dad, and i love him, SOTBAW !!! WHOOOPIE!!!, the target audience for this fic is me and my wife
Summary:
kai’s first thoughts when leaving her papa’s arms, every time she saw him again, and when she comes back to him.
she loves him.
she worried that he doesn’t.
WOAGGGGGHHHHHH PASTRII WROTE A SOTBAW FIC
WOAGGGG IT ENDS HAPPY
WOOAHHAGG ITS FOR MY WIFE @raspberrysmoon
A SOTBAW AU in which three residents of the Black and White escape from the clutches of the Lords, and try to navigate life in the tiny town of Hatchetfield. [based on what my lovely mutual @raspberrysmoon is doing with Kai in the SOTBAW au!]
EPISODE LIST:
Uncle Mac - The little Lady in Black finally gets a new playmate after years of waiting.
My Best Friend Is Dead - Another playmate enters the scene, one that Kai strongly attaches to.
Lessons In Being Human - McNamara and Max, with their combined years of experience, try to teach Kai how to be human (a concept that, apparently, Kai doesn’t believe in).
My Papas And Me - After a LOT of convincing, Kai finally gets McNamara and Max to meet her five beloved Papas.
Papa Blinky’s Playroom - Kai, with some negging from Max and convincing from McNamara, sneaks into the room of Papa Blinky’s that she isn’t allowed in.
Humanization - Kai spirals into a depression, feeling more distant from her papas than ever. McNamara and Max offer some assistance.
Escapism - Kai decides that the gap between her and her papas is finally big enough for her to jump down. She isn’t going alone.
Welcome To Hatchetfield - The escapees make it out, heading into a tiny town called Hatchetfield. Kai finds it overwhelming.
A Thousand Eyes That Can’t See - Blinky calls Kai home. That’s his job. He never expected to fail it.
The Singular Voice; An Eternal Silence - Pokey is never quiet. Yet, he can’t seem to make a sound.
Time Heals No Wounds; Space’s Void Comforts None - Toys aren’t fun when your favorite playmate isn’t there to play with you.
Rabid Hunger, Firey Rage - Wiggly isn’t the only lord who wants his wrath. With Kai gone, Nibbly’s teeth are bared.
A Monarchy, Fallen - He knew it was a terrible idea. He knew he should’ve killed her when he had the chance. Now, she’s killing him. Slowly, but surely.
A Crabby Barista And The Guy (Who Doesn’t Like Musicals) - Kai meets a duo in Hatchetfield, one that she connects to in an instant.
Bunker Brains - Revalations you can only come to when you’ve got a girl who’s been raised by five eldritch beings, a hardass general that said girl’s decided is her uncle, a dead vengeful ghost that’s her best friend, a man that’s so painfully average it’s almost shocking (who’s also been roped into being a father figure), and a crabby barista/mama bear all in one room.
The Gal Who Didn’t Like Musicals - Papa Pokey isn’t gonna hurt anyone else. Not on her watch.
Hexed - Families help eachother out. Even when they aren’t sure who you are anymore.
White Without Black - Our story isn’t over yet. Not by a long shot.
Home For The Holidays - Christmastime starts to roll around, and through the overstimulating confusion that comes with it for Kai, she starts to wish she was home.
BLACK FRIDAY - PART ONE: Uncle Tom And Toyzone - Emma decides to take her wacky found family to her brother in law’s for thanksgiving. After he decides to push babysitting duties onto Emma, she decides that he has to take Kai to the mall with him.
BLACK FRIDAY - PART TWO: The Banana And The Songbird - Hannah learns that her imaginary friend isn’t so imaginary. Kai learns that she isn’t so alone in her uniqueness.
BLACK FRIDAY - PART THREE: Papa And Baby - Kai was always a Papa’s Girl. But, seeing her favorite one now, she knows things have changed.
Nuke Me Not - It’s a race against the clock for General John McNamara to keep the town of Hatchetfield from getting nuked.
Family Bonding Time - Kai’s Uncle Bill decides to take his favorite niece to the very best (and only) amusement park in all of Hatchetfield: Watcher World! Kai, however, is not having any fun.
Camping In The Witchwood - Paul and Emma send Kai to Camp Idontwannabang to make some new friends. It was the cheapest option, okay?
The Bastard And The Baby - Tinky’s favorite toy reveals some information about his missing baby.
Resurrected, Somehow - The peace that settles over the family is soon disrupted by Max being revived. Kai and the boy are psyched, Paul and Emma, however, not so much.
The Nighthawks’ Nest - Paul and Emma decide it’s best to enroll Kai in Hatchetfield High. With some pushing, she convinces Max to (re)enroll too.
Max’s Redemption Arc - Max is happy to reclaim his throne as Hatchetfield High’s Literal Monster. But when Kai starts to mimic his attitude, Max realizes his behavior needs to change. Also, a prank at The Waylon and the movie Mean Girls is involved.
Me And My Papas - After some mayhem happens, Kai is forced to reunite with those who raised her.
A Sacrifice Through Tongues & Teeth - Kai knows what she has to do. She only wishes she had the proper time to say goodbye.
Square One - The Girl, The Ghost, and The General are back to square one. Only now, they’re painfully aware of the reality.
SOTBAW GIFT FOR @raspberrysmoon: Five Lords And A Baby
Wiggog Y’Wrath makes a decision he can’t come back from.
Humans sucked.
He knew that for certain.
Wiggog Y’Wrath had been watching the creatures for millenia, and he had seen it all.
Sure, they had their good moments!
But there was so much depravity,
violence,
degeneracy,
and the like.
He knew that the human race was doomed from the start.
And what else could he do but watch this shitshow as it went up in flames?
Well, put some gasoline on the fire, of course!
But, this tale isn’t about how Wiggly (and his brothers, on many occasions) liked to screw with humanity, no.
This has to deal with the girl he hailed as “the one good thing that those vermin had ever (and will ever) produce.”
Kai Dean- Well, Kai Drew. That’s the name she had wanted.
AUGUST 22, 2001 [9:30 PM] - UNINGTON, USA.
The Lords in Black weren’t the only all powerful beings in the multiverse.
There was other eldritch beings, other gods. They lived in their own separate domain from the Black and White, one that they titled ‘The Heavens’.
WIggly and his brothers never really cared for them.
For one, they were far too stuck up and formal. What good is power if you aren’t gonna have any fun with it?
Two, they were so insistent on not interfering in human affairs. Bo-ring! They were such interesting creatures, why simply watch when you could become the bestest of paly-wals with them?
But, they did agree:
Humans sucked.
But they had a different reason than him.
To them, humans were far too much like them.
Their forms, too similar, the tongues they spoke in rang far too familiar for their liking.
To them, humans were just a bit off.
Almost gods, but not quite.
Like Jupiter, almost a star, but never could succeed.
Failed stars.
Failed gods.
So, to them, they made good vessels.
Wiggly had heard rumors flitting about. One of the more powerful goddesses had left their domain. Became human.
He never expected them to be both right and wrong.
Kai Dean was born August 22, 2001, at 3:27 in the morning, to a mother and father who’s names now elude him. She came out quiet, to the point the doctors were worried. Then, a chuckle, then sobs. She was imaginative from day one, her little brain working overtime.
But she wasn’t a god.
At least, not the one that left.
He knew that as he stared down at the sleeping bundle in his arms.
This was supposed to be simple.
Kill the baby so she wouldn’t become a problem for him and his brothers later.
But, thanks to his form, the child started to cry. And he didn’t need her parents coming in. So he had to think quickly. He quickly fixed himself up, to look more “human” for this child. The cries, however, didn’t stop.
“Wh- I did what you wanted! Why won’t you shut up?!” Wiggly hissed at the child.
She kept crying.
He sighed. “Oh, bother…”
“It’s fine,” he whispered to himself, “you’ve been around for millennia, you’ve seen humans do this countless times, it’s simple…”
He grabbed the swaddled child out from her crib, cradling her in his arms. He bounces her, and her cries slowly quiet, morphing into sleepy babbles. He blinks.
“Well! You’re an easy little one, aren’t you?” He says, gently booping her nose.
The baby grabs his finger with a vice grip. She brings it up to her mouth, gnawing on it.
“Oh-!! Oh, no, no…that’s not for chewing, silly-billy!” He chuckles, pulling his finger away.
She whines, her big brown eyes filling with tears.
And then, he felt something he thought was impossible for him to feel:
Remorse.
He, Wiggog “Wiggly” Y’rath, THE Lord in Black, felt bad for this child.
That was confusing.
But what was even more confusing was what he did next.
“Oh! Oh, I’m sorry, little one. Here, here, you can have my finger back. I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” He cooed softly, bringing the back of his finger to her chubby little cheek and stroking it gently.
The girl giggled. His heart melted.
He didn’t want to kill her.
She was adorable.
She was his.
“So this is why humans reproduce….” He mumbled.
He looks around the nursery, seeing the carved woodblock letters on the walls. He smiles down at her, playing with a curly lock of chocolate brown hair.
“Kai, huh..? What a cute name for a cute girl.” He bounces her.
She didn’t need to die, right?
No, no. She…she could be useful.
He could…he could raise her as his own. With his brothers’ help. They’ll help her use this power to wreak havoc upon the mortals.
She doesn’t have to die, and he gets to keep her! It’s a win win! He smiles down at the bundle of joy in his arms, using a tentacle to pet her cheek.
“Well, darling, how would you like to go home with your new daddy?” He smiles at her and she giggles.
He coos. “Tickle, tickle, tickle…” She laughs.
He begins to walk back to where he came, Kai in his arms. “Hm…you need a last name. What about…Drew?” He asks, tickling her. She squeals. “Oh, yeah, you like Drew. You’re definitely a Drew.”
He turns, surveying the nursery for the last time. He looks down at her, smiling with a certain kind of love in his eyes. “Kai Drew. That’s got a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”
AUGUST 22, 2001 [???] - BLACK AND WHITE
Pokotho and his brothers had been waiting impatiently for Wiggog’s return. He had left, declaring some wild plan, one that he hadn’t really listened to.
“I see him.” Bliklotep declared.
“Where??? And does he have food???” Nibblenephilim asked, salivating. Per usual.
“Uh…here, and maybe..?” Bliklotep motioned towards their returning brother, now semi human, a bundle cradled to his chest tightly. He smiles at his siblings.
“Hello, friendy-wends!” He grinned, holding the bundle closer. They looked at him with confusion. He waves a tentacle towards them, rubbing circles on the top of the bundle with one of his hands. Eugh.
“Do you boys mind turning a bit more…well…presentable? I have something you’ll all be interested in.” Wiggog said slyly. The others groan, knowing what this meant. Wiggog, in turn, huffs. “Don’t pout. It’s necessary. Now. Do it.”
With practically a thousand eye rolls and loud protests, his brothers end up looking similar to the vermin that was mankind. Wiggog smiles, clearing his throat.
“So, as we all know, one of those other goddesses died-”
“Nobody knew that.” “I didn’t!” “Me neither.” “What are we talking about???”
Wiggog huffs. “Well, she did. And she ‘became human’. So, in order to cause less problems in the future, I decided to…take care of our little problem. Boys,”
Wiggog brings his arms in front of him, cradling the baby in his arms. “Meet Kai.”
His brothers crowd around him, staring at the child in his arms. Pokotho is the first to speak, smiling confusedly. “I mean…it’s kinda cute-”
“I WANNA EAT IT!” Nibblenephilim interrupted with a fervor only seen in a salivating, rabid animal.
“NO!” Wiggog shouted almost instantly, pressing Kai close to his chest, startling the other lords. “We aren’t going to eat her! I said it earlier, we’re going to take care of her! Nurture her! Love her! Raise her as one of us!”
The other four blink. Pokotho is once again the first to speak. “WHAT.”
Wiggog has a stern, unamused look on his face. “You heard me.” He smiles down at the infant, petting her cheek. “We’re gonna raise her as one of us, so when the time comes, we can use her to cause chaos!” He nuzzles his cheek to hers, cooing to the sleepy bundle. “Who’s daddy’s little destroyer of universes? You are! Yes, you are!”
“Ahem.” Pokotho says, clearing his throat, unamused. T’noy Karaxis, Bliklotep, and Nibblenephilim are a different story, however, the three snorting as they try to hold into their laughter. Wiggog awkwardly clears his own throat.
“This isn’t up for debate. It’s happening.” Wiggog says with a certain finality.
Bliklotep turns to T’noy. “Woah, we’re parents now.”
T’noy blinks. “Woag.”
Nibblenephilim pops between the two, raising his hand and waving it in the air. “I WANNA BE THE MAMA!”
Pokotho sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. He heads towards his eldest brother. “Wiggog, are you sure this is a good idea?”
Wiggog blinks. “Whatever do you mean?”
Pokotho motions to the way Wiggog is holding the girl. “You seem…attached. I don’t know if-”
“It’s happening. You can’t convince me otherwise.” Wiggog says flatly.
Pokotho huffs. “Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
He storms off, leaving Wiggly alone with Kai. He looks down at his child, who’s been awoken by the commotion. She yawns. He sighs and smiles, petting her cheek and cooing at her. “You won’t be any trouble, huh? Nooo, you’re just Papa’s perfect girl.”
The baby laughs. He smiles and nuzzles her cheek. “Yeah, you won’t. You’re Papa’s now. For now until forever.
A GIRL, A GHOST, AND A GENERAL - EPISODE ONE: UNCLE MAC
The little Lady in Black finally gets a new playmate after years of waiting.
General John McNamara didn’t know what to do.
It was Black Friday, and one of the Lords in Black, Wiggog Y’rath, codename Wiggly, was causing mass hysteria in the US, concentrated mostly in the city of Hatchetfield. He was saving the US President, Howard Goodman, with a sacrifice of himself.
He knew his time was up. Nobody escaped the Black.
But he didn’t fade to dust.
Instead, he was being poked and prodded by slimy tentacles, studied by watchful, bright, glowing eyes.
“You’ll do just fine.” Wiggog’s voice boomed sinisterly.
McNamara felt himself being taken somewhere. Suddenly, he was in a girl’s bedroom, maybe even a nursery, with the way it was styled. His clothes were odd, now. No longer was he in his uniform, now in a short sleeve blouse, bow tie, cartoony gloves, and suspenders. He also wore an odd headband with antennae that ended with a fluffy puff ball, he presumed that they were there to look more like one of the other beings that resided in the Black and White, codename Sniggle.
“Hey, lovely little princess! Papa Wiggly has a surprise for you!” Wiggly coos. His voice is softer, less sinister, yet the weight it held stayed. When McNamara looked, the voice didn’t come from a monstrous eldritch being, but what looked like a human male, other than the various shades of green and the tentacles.
“What is it, Papa?” A girl’s voice comes. Higher pitched, yet posh and formal. Possibly pubescent, it was hard to tell.
“Well, you know how you said you were starting to get bored?”
“Yes, but I believe the term I used was ‘restless’.”
“Ah, yes, you did. Anywho, I have the solution! Meet your new toy! Be good to him now.” Wiggly says before leaving.
John didn’t want to admit it, but he was afraid. Wiggog had a child? They didn’t know about that. How was he supposed to proceed? What-
“Hello!” He’s startled by a child. Bright, blue-teal hair, with 4 streaks of pink, yellow, green, and purple. Brown eyes, a toothy grin, pale skin, and a scar going along her cheek. She was dressed formally, yet childishly at the same time. If he had to place her age, maybe around 12-15.
He was painfully aware of the fact she was human.
“…Hello there.” John said curtly, stumbling a bit. It was hard to stand tall when you were half floating in the air.
The girl noticed. “Oh, yeah, the gravity here is wonky. You’ve sorta just gotta…trust that the floor is there. Believe that you’re standing on the ground. Here!”
She takes his hands in her smaller ones, shutting her eyes. “Close your eyes.”
He felt a need to oblige. She keeps going after a moment. “Know that the floor is there. Feel the ground beneath your feet. You’re standing on stable ground. Can’t you feel it?”
John did feel it. He felt the soles of his feet on a hard wooden floor, standing on stable ground. He opened his eyes and looked at the girl, who stared back at him with a smile. She was still floating in the air, and in the time he had closed his eyes, she had flipped herself upside down.
“What are you doing?” He asked.
She shrugged. “Eh, I enjoy floating. It’s very fun. I've done it for a majority of my life!”
“You…have?” John questioned. Just who was she?
“Yes. For as long as I can remember.” She answered.
John couldn’t lie, he was intrigued. This girl, who they had no idea existed, who had apparently been living in the black and white for practically her entire life, this girl that affectionately referred to arguably the most terrifying of the Lords in Black as ‘Papa’, she was human. He had to know. How it happened, why it happened, who she was, and why she was still here.
“Who are you?” John said after a beat.
“You first!” She replied with a giggle.
John nodded and cleared his throat. He wasn’t going to deny this girl the information she wanted. Give some to get some.
“My name is General John McNamara of the United States Military, special unit PEIP. We call it Peep.” He spoke almost reflexively.
She ‘ooh’ed at the title, clapping for him as if he put on some performance.
“Wow…My name’s Kai Drew!” She grinned toothily.
“Nice to meet you, Kai.” He said, removing the odd headband. She gasped.
“It’s fake?! Huh?! Whu- you aren’t a sniggle?!” She shouted, going over to poke and prod him.
“I am not.” He said, pushing her away. “I’m a human.”
“That doesn’t exist, General! You’re making that up!” She said accusingly. That left him with more questions.
“You…you don’t think humans are real?” He asked slowly, with the cadence used to talk to elementary school students.
“Well…not really…I don’t think. Uncle Wiley says he used to be one, but he’s lying. My papas said so. All my papas say that they aren’t real, and that we can’t talk about them.” Kai said matter of factly.
Now this confused him. What was the goal of manipulating her into thinking humans weren’t real?
“Waaait…if you’re like Uncle Wiley, does that make you my uncle too?!” She asked, a wide smile on her face.
“I-” He started. He was quickly cut off.
“Are you my Uncle General?! Ewgh. Uncle General does not sound nice. You have a weird name, General.” She stated bluntly.
He knew now that this girl didn’t know anything about the world beyond the veil. “…General isn’t my name, it’s my title. My name’s just John. John McNamara.”
Kai makes an ‘o’ shape with her mouth. “So, are you my Uncle John? No. Uncle Johnny? Nah. Uncle Mac?”
Kai immediately brightens. “Uncle Mac! That’s it! You’re my Uncle Mac!”
John begins to refuse, but the girl launches onto him, hugging him tight. He recoils.
“We’re gonna be the bestest friends ever!” She said, clinging onto him.
hey pooks i have all of them <3333 guess whos which one :] theyre in what i imagine ti be chronological order. also i have pokeys mostly done and blinky and wigglys started :]
i forgot my name again. i think thats something worth remembering - devil town by cavetown - “i still get a little scared of something new, but i feel a little safer when i’m with you.”
i truly am my parents child - family line by conan gray - “i can run, but i can’t hide, from my family line.”
deserves the same judgement - average by sushi soucy - “you’ve got the skills of an idiot, who got too much praise.”
i’m losing on their side - i bet on losing dogs by mitski - “my baby, my baby.. you’re my baby, say it to me.”
make me love myself, so that i might love you - saint bernard by lincoln - “when i am dead i won’t join their ranks, ‘cause they are both holy and free.”
you’re scaring us and all of us– some of us love you. - achilles come down by gang of youths - “soldier on achilles, achilles come down, won’t you get up off, get up off the roof?”
apathy’s a tragedy and boredom is a crime - goodbye by bo burnham - “am i right back where i started fourteen years ago?”
HELLOOOO???
Okay
1 . Wiggly taking kai in OR kai getting the idea to leav
2 . Kai first in Hatchetfield? Maybe being a dick
3 . Blinky?? Finding kai missing or telling the other lords
