Summary: Soulmates meet in their dreams from the age of 16 until they meet for the first time. Once they meet, they share their physical and emotional feelings with one another until they die. Tom Holland was just starting to learn how to take over the family business and ignore the urge to find his soulmate when everything changes and he’s found face to face with you. You’ve always wanted to meet your soulmate and spend the rest of your life with them, until you actually meet yours and life changes forever.
Warning: blood, language, violence, angst (this story is gonna be dark so prepare yourself)
part one: the encounter
Tom knew from a young age that his family’s business was dangerous. He knew that he needed to keep what his family did a secret because his family could get hurt if outsiders knew. His father engrained it into Tom’s head that the family business went ahead of everything ever since Tom was a kid. Tom vividly remembered the time he asked his father to come to Career Day at his school. Tom’s father had never hit Tom harder.
When Tom turned thirteen, his father began teaching him how to conceal his identity in dreams in preparation for meeting his soulmate. Tom knew never to argue with what his dad wanted and instead started to train with his father and experts in the field of dream manipulation. He learned from a young age that even though he wanted to meet the person he was destined to be with, he couldn’t, not unless he gave up his family’s business, but he wouldn’t turn his back on his family. It was all he had.
On Tom's sixteenth birthday, he prepared to see his soulmate. He tried to ignore the butterflies that he felt as he fell asleep, excited to see the person who he'd meet every night. Despite knowing that he could never be with his soulmate, he was still shamelessly excited for the possibility of having a friend in his dreams, no matter what he did when he was awake.
He didn't meet his soulmate that night.
In fact, Tom didn't meet his soulmate until a couple months after he turned eighteen. He figured it was due to an age difference, but he didn't care to focus on the why or the logic of dreams. All he could focus on was the excitement of meeting his soulmate even though he knew he shouldn’t feel anything.
"hello?"
Tom felt as though he was floating. He knew he was standing on the familiar pink floor he always stood on when he dreamt. His dreams were lonely, but tonight, he heard you for the first time. He knew that your voice wasn't distorted and he had to ignore the slight flutter he felt when he heard your timid voice. He focused all of his available energy into masking his voice. "Hi."
He turned around, looking for you. His dream world was always the same, but he never knew how to describe it other than being in a soft pink cloud. He stood on a flat pink surface and was surrounded by a warm pink haze. He turned, one more time, and stopped when he saw his soulmate standing in front of him.
He couldn't make out details, but he didn't care. He could see your hair cascading around your face and falling beautifully. The color of your hair was fluctuating and your face was foggy, but he could see your vague features shift into a smile. "I can't believe you're here," you whispered.
"Likewise," Tom spoke, but he didn't recognize his voice. He knew it was the voice you heard, yet it still sounded weird. He ignored the slight tinge of guilt that rang through his heart at the thought of disguising himself from you. He knew he had no choice, but it still hurt him.
"I've been waiting for this moment for years. What took you so long?"
Tom did his best to ignore the ding his heart echoed. He tried to ignore the sadness that ricocheted out of your vocal cords and into his heart. "I've been here."
A soft sigh escaped the vague lips Tom could see. "Me too."
Tom awoke the morning after first meeting you in the best mood he'd been in in what felt like years. He had to physically fight the urge he had to smile as he walked down the stairs for breakfast. He felt light, airy, and happy. Your voice was angelic and the conversation you had echoed around his heart for the rest of the day.
The two of you didn't always meet every night. Tom chalked it up to different sleep patterns or just not being able to remember every dream he had. He could tell that you wanted to meet him, but he kept brushing those hints off. Usually the two of you were only together enough to say a few sentences back and forth, but he cherished his time with you just the same.
It had successfully been almost six years since you first appeared in his dream without meeting you. Tom had officially decided that you didn't live in London. You couldn't have, he reasoned, but the nagging thought in the back of his head reminded him that your accent was exactly the same as his.
Tom eventually came clean to his family that you had met in his dreams. Tom's father was stressed, but Tom assured him that the pair would never meet, despite every part of Tom's body aching to touch you. Tom knew that his family and his business came first. It also wasn't a secret in the Holland Mansion that the reason why his father was so adamant against soulmates was because of the death of their mother, but no one talked about it.
No one talked about anything.
Tom was just starting to learn how to take over the business when everything changed. He was barely getting the hang of ignoring the pain of getting his ass beat. He was barely getting used to ignoring the guilt of killing enemies and breaking the law. He had just figured out how to ignore the thought of one day meeting you and had just stopped craving the small interactions he'd get with you every night.
But the universe was funny in that way.
"Tom," Harrison breathed, heavily. Tom looked up from the computer he was typing on and looked at his best friend. His blue eyes were burning into Tom's. "It's your dad."
Tom knew the tone was too distraught to be anything good. He knew Harrison wouldn’t barge into the study without reason. Tom ran his rough, calloused, and dry hand over his face with a sigh. He tried to prepare himself for the news he expected to get ever since he had started taking over the business. HIs body grew stiff and cold as he tried to prepare for what he knew was coming, but it wasn’t that easy. Life was never that easy.
“He’s dead.”
*
“I saw him again last night,” Jazmin hummed as she carefully stabbed the lettuce in her bowl. Her brown hair fell over her shoulders, despite her being on call for a shift at the emergency room, downstairs. Her brown eyes looked up to you as she smiled. Her eyes were always warm, but somehow always pierced through the defense layers you built. “Have you seen yours in a while?” She carefully raised one of her arched eyebrows as she waited for your response.
You rolled your eyes, not wanting to remember the fact that you hadn’t seen your soulmate in three weeks. “No,” you whispered. “I know he doesn’t want to meet me. Every time I ask for any information, he leaves.” You picked at the leftover pasta you brought for the impromptu date you and your best friend could fit in your busy schedules. The nagging voice in the back of your mind reminded you that not only did your soulmate refuse to give you information to find him, but he also was hiding his face and his voice from you. It wasn’t uncommon for soulmates to be able to hide parts of their identity, but it was difficult to master the ability to disguise both your face and your voice. When you noticed that your soulmate had disguised both features, you reciprocated by disguising your face to the best of your ability. You hadn’t told any of this to Jazmin, though, because you were embarrassed at the thought of your soulmate refusing to even show you his face or his voice.
“I know he wants to meet you, y/n. Why wouldn’t he? He’d be absolutely lucky to have you,” she spoke, matter-of-factly.
You shrugged. You had always loved the idea of having a soulmate and being meant to spend the rest of your life with someone. It was always a goal of yours to be able to meet your soulmate, but after the first few dreams with your soulmate, you could tell that this wasn’t his intention. The two of you rarely met and it was usually once a month that you would have an overlap in time and meet. “I don’t know, Jazmin. I just -“
Before you could finish, you were interrupted by the scream of an ambulance. You looked out the window you sat by and sighed. By the time you looked back at Jazmin, she was already getting called into her shift. The two of you had both started internships at the same hospital, but in different departments. You usually had a laidback schedule in the Psychiatric Ward, but Jazmin was always busy with her shifts in the Emergency Room.
“Sorry, y/n. I’ll see you later, okay?”
You nodded and began packing up your things. Your shift ended thirty minutes ago, but you stuck around to be able to spend time with your best friend. Once all of your belongings were stuffed into your purse, you stood up and began walking to your car.
Since you worked downtown, you almost always had to park a couple blocks away from the hospital. You usually welcomed the walk as it gave you time to prepare for your shift and decompress afterwards.
Tonight, the sun was setting over the horizon, painting the world a hazy pink. You smiled, softly, thinking of the dream world you always seemed to meet your soulmate in. Every place that soulmates met was unique to the couple. You were shocked when you met your soulmate in a beautiful, warm, pink world. Seeing the real world mimic your dreams caused a tug in your stomach.
As you entered the near-empty parking lot where your car sat, you noticed a tense exchange occurring. Three men stood, facing another man not too far away. You saw your car on the other side of the group of three and began making your way towards them. You pushed away any feelings of anxiety and tried to push forward to your car. It was a long enough day and it didn’t need to be longer.
“Tom, now is not the time or the place,” the man on the left spoke. He had piercing blue eyes, but you quickly looked away from the group and instead pretended to send a text.
“I don’t care,” the man named Tom snapped. You could hear the pain in his voice, causing your eyes to find him. You recognized the grief that screamed through his words. His large brown eyes were bloodshot and tears were stained on his cheeks. His hands were clenched into tight fists and you noticed the blood caked on his knuckles. Your heartbeat sped up as you slowly walked closer.
“What’s wrong, Tommy boy? You not ready for the crown? Pathetic,” an Irish accent mocked from behind you. You were close enough to the group to now be in the middle of the commotion. You tried to pick up your pace, not wanting to be in between this intense exchange.
“Shut the fuck up, Luke,” Tom growled as he took a step forward.
“What’re you going to do, Tommy boy? Shoot me? Try. I dare you,” Luke chuckled. Before you could register what was happening, rough hands gripped at your arms and you were pulled roughly against the Irish man, identified as Luke. Fear danced from the man’s fingers and up into your chest. Your heart pumped the fear through your veins and into your bloodstream. The man gripped you tighter as you felt a cold metal dance along your arm. You tried ignoring it, but the fear was bubbling up your throat and into all of your thoughts.
You closed your eyes, trying to think of the man you had met in your dreams. The man you were destined to spend the rest of your life with. The man that was your soulmate. “Let her go, Luke.” Your eyes opened and your gaze was locked with the man named Tom. His eyes were cold and calculated, but you noticed that him and his two friends took a step closer to you. Your heart was racing and you tried to say something, anything to get this man to let you go, but the fear swallowed any attempt to speak.
“Come and get her, Tom. Or are you going to let another poor innocent person die today?”
Before you could process what was said, a searing pain exploded from your chest. You looked down and saw a large and deep gash that started from the center of your chest and followed the line of your collar bone to your shoulder. Blood began pooling out of the wound as you cried out in pain. Your head began growing lighter as you shut your eyes in pain. You heard the men in front of you yell various threats and insults to the man who was holding you hostage. Your brain began to process that you were in a life-and-death situation. Without thinking, you threw your foot into the stranger’s knee and kicked as hard as you could. The man groaned as his grip loosened. You threw your elbow back into his stomach, causing his grip to completely disappear. You took a few steps away from him, but your brain was clouded with the pain of the massive gash on your chest. Blood was dripping down your arm and onto the cement, but you didn’t care. All you could think about was getting as far away from this man as fast as possible.
Despite moving as fast as you could, the man caught your right shoulder and yanked you back. You heard a pop as more pain erupted from the same shoulder he had cut. You knew it was dislocated, if not broken. Panicking at the thought of being killed, you started throwing your fists at this man, but your vision wasn’t focusing on anything as the blood was pouring out of you. You knew that it wouldn’t be long before you lost enough blood to be damaging. The man gave you sickening laugh as you felt his knife sink into your stomach. You screamed in pain, feeling his knife pierce through your skin and into your organs. You had enough training in the hospital to know that pulling the knife out would cause more damage, but your hand still groped the handle of his knife as you stumbled back. A warm feeling danced up your throat as you coughed blood on the cement.
You turned and stumbled further away from the group, but your feet were heavier than cinderblocks. You began to fall to the cement. Before your shoulders and head could hit the ground, you were caught. You looked up at the man who had stopped the impact and saw those blue eyes you had connected with earlier. You blinked a few times, growing tired and pained. “Hey, hey, look at me,” the man whispered. “It’s okay, you’re safe. Just focus on me and nothing else, okay?”
You opened your mouth to speak, but you were instead interrupted with another cough. You knew it was blood so you turned your head and spit onto the cement. Sure enough, a dark sticky substance hit the ground next to your head. You looked back at the man in front of you. Your head was spinning and you were struggling to ground yourself in reality. You lifted your hand and put it on the man’s cheek. You noticed the blood that covered your hand and your arm. You gasped at the sight and dropped your hand to your side. The man chuckled, but the sight wasn’t comforting since you had covered half his face in your blood. “It’s okay, hon. I’m Harrison, what’s your name?”
“Y/n,” you croaked. Speaking hurt, breathing hurt, everything hurt. Your eyelids slipped shut and you heard the man above you asking you to open your eyes. You forced your eyelids apart and looked back into his piercing blue eyes. “So hard. So sleepy.”
“I know, y/n, help is on the way, okay?”
You looked up at Harrison’s blue eyes and felt safe. You nodded, slowly. “I never met my soulmate,” you murmured. “I don’t want to die.”
“You won’t,” Harrison spoke with a smile. “We won’t let you.”
You slowly nodded. Before you could respond, the man referred to as Tom sat down next to you and Harrison. “EMT’s are about a minute out. Luke’s taken care of.” Tom’s voice was beautiful and strong as he spoke to Harrison. He looked at you with his bloodshot and pained eyes. “You’ll be okay.”
You sighed and slowly gave up on the fight to stay awake as your eyelids slipped shut. Maybe you would meet your soulmate. Maybe you wouldn’t.
here’s a little teaser of the soulmate!au i’ve been working on. expect it out by sunday or monday !
-
-
No one knows how it started.
Some believe the original Greek myth; that Zeus was terrified of the power the original human form had and split them in two, forced to live the rest of their lives searching the world for their other half.
Others believe whatever their chosen religion preaches; that God wants them to stay monogamous with one person and never stray to the Devil. That the Hindu Gods say that good dharma follows meeting your chosen one.
Few don’t believe anything at all. They say soulmates are a load of crap. That the words etched on our skin from the moment we’re born means nothing. That the Universe can’t decide who we love, we choose.
You, were one of these people.
At first you loved the thought of soulmates. Loved the thought that someone out there was destined for you, would always love you no matter how many times you trip over your own feet or spill a drink down the front of you. Loved to think that there was someone out there to cuddle you after a depressive episode or help you breathe through the anxiety attacks for the rest of your days. It was magical to think about.
But years passed, first meetings with numerous people came and went. And as your friends found their loves, as you watched your parents grow old and happy together, as you gave your sister the ring to go on her wife’s finger, as everyone found someone while your words remained black, you began to lose hope.
Until you met him. Him with the stormy blue eyes and caramel hair. Him with the charming smile and tan skin. Him with the nice lips and funny personality. You fell almost as soon as you met. Your words didn’t turn gold, they did burn and send a shock through your system. But your heart skipped a beat. Your hands shook and your stomach flipped, and that’s all you needed to say yes to a date. And then another, and another, and another until you were moved in with him and smiling every day from his texts.
It was great. It was nice. It was as magical as you thought being with your actual soulmate would be. You forgot about the words on your arm, about the stories of what being with your soulmate feels like, and what being with someone not can do to your body. You were in love.
summary: words not written by you appear on your skin, which leads you to your soulmate.
warnings: soulmate!au, fluff
wc: 538
masterlist
you had noticed small drawings on your forearm when you were younger, notes about homework or small reminders your soulmate would have to remember. eventually, they’d fade, but you really wish they didn’t.
it had been a few months when tom noticed small stars or hearts showing up on the inside of his wrist. he would trace over the marking with his fingers, not wanting them to fade as it was the only piece of you he’d have.
after a little while of drawing each other cute things on your skin, tom made a bold move, writing his name down on his skin, knowing it’d show up on yours. of course, you responded back with your name, which made him smile.
the two of you have left small messages for the other ever since, promising the other that you’d meet up when the time was right and when tom was back home.
so to say that the coordinates that popped up on your skin one day was a surprise would be right, the least you were expecting were coordinates, maybe an address?
meet me here - tom
after putting them into google maps, you found yourself behind the wheel, driving towards a local park. the sun was setting, casting a beautiful orange, yellow, and pink shadow on anything that was in its path.
when you pulled into the park, you got out, deciding to walk around until you could spot tom. it didn’t take you long, as when you just walked over the hill, you spotted someone near a blanket and a picnic basket.
you continued down the hill, walking towards the boy. he turned around after hearing your footsteps, the two of you freezings as you looked at each other. he was way more attractive than you had pictured him in your head.
“y/n?” he asked, shoving his phone in his jeans. you smiled, nodding.
“hi, tommy.”
his heart skipped a beat, hearing your voice say the nickname you’d always write. he smiled, moving towards you. he went for a handshake but you went for a hug, causing the both of you to blush and laugh before he pulled you into his arms.
“wow,” you mumbled,”you smell nice.”
he chuckled,”thank you, darling.”
the two of you sat on the blanket, getting to know each other as you drank wine, looking up at the stars. he smiled, looking over at you as you studied the sky. he took in all your features from the side, your nose, your lips, your cheeks. you were absolutely perfect to him.
“you’re gorgeous.” he mumbled, causing you to turn around. the two of you blushed, his ears turning red as you leaned your head on his shoulder.
“i think you’re gorgeous, too,” you looked up to meet his eyes,”i really like you.”
he smiled, eyes flicking from your lips to your eyes,”i really like you, too, darling.”
you grabbed his face in one of your hands,”can you just kiss me already?”
he smiled before dipping down and pressing his lips to yours, you smiled into the kiss, butterflies filling your stomach as his lips moved softly against yours. he pulled away, nose nudging yours,
Hey could you do the #11 dialogue with either Tom Holland or Peter Parker? I love your soulmate blurb ideas :)
“Aw, thanks so much! It’s Soulmate!AU Tuesday and the Dialogue prompt is:
11. “Are you flirting with me?”-“You finally noticed?”
I love this so much. I think this is a cute prompt day! And I decided to write for Tom since I just wrote about Peter and come on, Tom needs some love.
You knew how the world worked and you hated it.
As your friends were starting to meet their soulmates and get married, you were starting to be left in the dust.
Soulmates, as stupid as they seemed, were very much real and yours seemed to really hate you.
It was unfair, the older soulmate would get to know who their soulmate was and have to look for them as the younger of the two would have to wait for them and see when they’d be coming.
Even your younger sibling had found their sibling, leaving you as the last person you knew without a soulmate besides your coworker, Tom.
You and Tom were both working on the same movie together. It wasn’t anything to write home about, just another tragedy of soulmates that young teen girls ate up.
And you would know, since it hadn’t been that long since you were also a teen girl or wine mom watching movies about soulmates and gushing over when your prince charming, whoever he was, was going to come.
You tried talking to Tom about soulmates once, but all you got out of him was that he hadn’t met his soulmate yet and that he thinks she’s out there somewhere, but he’s not in any rush to win her over just yet.
You thought it was weird that he had brushed you off so casually, but then again, who knows? Sometimes soulmates pass away before you find them and maybe he was scared of that being a possibility.
“Y/n?” Your name in Tom’s mouth made you shiver.
“Yeah?” You turned around to look at him.
You couldn’t help but admit that the young man was something else. He was handsome and funny and so sweet to you. You couldn’t help but develop a crush on him even though you knew it would never happen and you were still waiting for your soulmate.
“You’re supposed to be on set right now.” Tom laughed. “Did you get caught up in your daydreaming again?”
You blushed. “No, no, I was just-” Your eyes scanned the area around you until they caught a glimpse of something. “I was just reading this pamphlet on workplace safety.”
“You know,” Tom began to make his way towards you until he was up against your face. “You’re a terrible liar.”
The heat from his breath on your face made your face burn bright as you pulled your lip between your teeth. You took a glance at his lips, watched the way they moved as he licked them and looked back into his eyes as silence fell between you both.
“I’m not a terrible liar...” You mumbled as Tom gave you a puzzled look and leaned back, away from you.
“What’d you say?” Tom asked. “Sorry, I got lost in your eyes.”
You furrowed your brow. “Are you flirting with me?”
“You finally noticed?” Tom chuckled. “Y/n, I’ve been flirting with you since we met.”
You paused, opening your mouth to say something before snapping it shut. You thought about it for a second; had Tom been flirting with you?
You could picture meeting Tom for the first time, how he opted out of taking your outstretched hand and hugged you and pecked you temple instead and how you thought, perhaps that was just customary where he was from.
You could picture all the times you guys would go over lines and act out your scenes together and the way Tom would laugh at your bad jokes and make odd comments that you were beautiful and that you should get drinks with him sometime.
And, it started to strike a chord with you, that maybe all the times you went out to dinner with him were not just two colleagues getting drinks and something to eat.
“I’m sorry, Tom,” You awkwardly broke the silence you held onto for far too long, “but I can’t accept your advances. I’m still waiting for my soulmate.”
“That’s just it, Y/n,” Tom moved back close to you, your faces almost touching, “I thought you were smart enough to realize that I am your soulmate.”
Description/Request: @imbentylershook: Can you do a writing on arm soulmate!au with tom? She might be a fan or something and not know its him. Or one where they have a timer that counts down to the second that they meet. 😅✌
Genre: Fluff (and a little angst?)
Warnings - one swear :)
Word Count: 1.2k
Stuff to know: f/d - favorite drink, f/f - favorite food, texts are in bold
A/N: HERE IT IS! Hahaha I hope I did it justice. Sorry it took so long, I really struggled with writing this. Oh well, let me know what you think. I’d love your feedback! I hope you enjoy! :)
00:01:14:23
That’s how long you had until you would meet your soulmate. One day, fourteen hours, and twenty three minutes. The timer had been marked on your wrist since you were born. You had been waiting for this day your entire life. Now that you had a little less than two days left, you were both ecstatic and terrified. What if he didn’t like you? What if something happened or you embarrassed yourself? But he’s your soulmate, everything will be okay. The thoughts refused to stop swirling around your head.
You keep making up scenarios in your head of every possible thing that could happen. If you would trip and make a fool of yourself or if it would be just like the movies; your eyes meet from across the room and you both instantly fall in love (so cliche right?).
You’ve been stressing to your friend and roommate Ruby (if that’s your name, sorry, you can change it) for the past few days. The two of you have been trying to figure out everything from how you should do your hair and what to wear all the way to what you should eat for breakfast that morning. Luckily tomorrow is a Saturday, so you’ll have the day free to do whatever you want until you meet your soulmate. You’re planning to spend the morning with Ruby then run some errands/shop downtown until you find him.
Finally getting home after a long day, you find Ruby in the kitchen making dinner for the both of you. “Hey hot stuff, how was your day?” She asks as you sit on the counter by her.
“Tiring. Yours?” You lean against the cabinets.
“Mine was pretty good. That cutie Liam came to my bakery again today. Boys like him make me want this damn timer to stop already! You’re lucky you meet yours tomorrow.”
Ever since you met Ruby in high school, the two of you have been best friends. It’s like the universe had given the two of you another soulmate in each others friendship. You couldn’t ask for a better friend. She had been there to help you through tough times and you were there for her. You couldn’t imagine a life where the two of you weren’t friends. Thinking about moving out and living with your soulmate instead made you feel kind of sad. At least you knew in your heart the two of you would always be there for one another.
“Dinner’s ready,” She pulls you out of your thoughts. “Can you set the table?”
You hop down from the counter and get the table ready. The two of you sit down and start eating the pasta she made.
“I’m going to miss your food. Your soulmate is going to be so lucky!” You exclaim.
“Hey, you’re not leaving me yet. Although I might not see you tomorrow night.” She wiggles her eyebrows at you suggestively. “Are you going to dinner with him or something? You’ll need to text. Or you could invite him over for dinner! I would love to meet him!”
“Oh no, I am not letting you cook for him. If he ever tastes you food he’ll want to be your soulmate instead.’”
“Very true.” Ruby jokingly agrees, “You at least need to text me to let me know what’s going on, and I will have to meet him. Just make sure you come home soon so we can talk about him and everything that happens when you meet.”
“Will do.” You say before finishing your pasta.
You wake up the next morning to the sound of your alarm and your eyes instantly find your wrist.
00:00:04:23
Jumping out of bed in excitement you rush to get ready. You put on the outfit Ruby and you had picked out last night and brush your teeth before doing your hair and head to the living room to meet with Ruby to go out of breakfast.
When you get there you find her sitting on the couch. “Morning Rubs!” You cheer.
“Good morning, y/n! You ready to meet your soulmate?” She asks standing up.
“I am so ready!” You exclaim, “But I’m also hungry, can we go eat now?”
After breakfast Ruby left so you could shop/run errands until you meet your soulmate. Now that she’s gone you are starting to feel nervous again. You look down at your timer again.
00:00:01:23
Trying to calm down you walk over to the first shop to bide your time.
00:00:00:02
You look up, glancing around the room. With only two minutes left you’re sat in a cafe. Anyone here could be your soulmate. Sipping your f/d you sit and wait the last two minutes. You text Ruby as she tries to calm you down.
Ruby: He’s your soulmate y/n! Everything will be fine.
Just as you read her text you felt something hot burn your leg. “OW!” You stand up, taking the napkin from your table and wiping your leg. As you’re wiping you notice your timer.
00:00:00:00
You look up and see him staring at you. He has beautiful brown eyes. His hair is curly chocolate brown, making you want to want to run your hands through his already messy hair.
“Hi.” His voice is sweet.
“Hi.”
“You’re mine.” He breathes out with a beautiful smile.
“And you’re mine.” You repeat again, smiling back at him. “I’m y/n.”
“I’m Tom. And I’m so sorry about spilling my coffee on you.” He looks down at your now stained pants.
“It’s okay,” You shake your head, “Do you want to get another coffee then sit down and talk?”
“I’d love to!” He beams at you, “I’ll be right back.”
He gets back and the two of you instantly click. You end up talking for hours before going out to eat dinner. Tom took you to get f/f. You were having so much fun with him. After dinner he offered to take you home and you gladly accepted.
On the drive back the two of you sang along the the music amidst you telling him directions. When you get to your house he opens the car door for you.
“Tonight was amazing, darling. I’d love to see you again tomorrow.” He holds your hand on the walk up to your house.
“It was pretty great, huh. I’ll text you tomorrow and we can set something up?” You smile at him.
“I’ll be waiting.” He smiles back at you.
You reach your door and turn to look at him. “I guess this is goodnight then.” You say looking down at your intertwined hands. He puts his hand on your cheek tilting your head up. He leans in and connects your lips. You feel fireworks erupt from the kiss. Feeling all his love for you put in to the soft kiss. The two of you finally break apart for air. Resting your foreheads together, refusing to open your eyes until you hear Tom quietly say “Goodnight, y/n.”
He then presses a soft kiss to your forehead and untangles your hands. He heads back to his car, looking back to you he waves and gets in his car, driving off.
You open the front door and step inside. Leaning on the wall you close your eyes and let out a small squeal. Tom’s wonderful.
Just as you leave to talk to Ruby you hear your phone buzz. Picking it up you see a text from tom.
Summary: The successful CEO and playboy Tom Holland does not expect to find his soulmate anymore after being betrayed too often. But what’s going to happen when they finally meet on a night out?
Word count: 2464
A/N: The first part was for @underoossss 2.4k writing challenge with the prompt “I don’t think I’m ready to be loved by you.” A lot of people asked for a part two and here it is. Hope you all enjoy it.
Part One
She was laying on her bed. Starfished out and her face pressed into her pillow. Idgaf by Dua Lipa on repeat. The nausea wave had no left her. For days now, she was feeling sick and just wanted it to stop as well as the headache. No painkiller had helped or anything else for that matter. Y/N huffed into her pillow. She just wanted everything to stop. The headache, the nauseas, and the ever growing thoughts of the man.
His brown eyes that pleaded her. The curls that had been out of order and the lavish looking suit. But worse was his face that was marked in her head. His helpless expression as he followed her out of the night club. The flashing lights of the paparazzi as she got into the cab and drove away.
Y/N could feel the bed dip under her and someone took one of the headphones out. “You can listen to that song a thousand more times, but it won’t change anything about that situation.” Parker stated, almost coldly. She groaned. Parker had been bothering her ever since they left the club.
He couldn’t understand why she choose to ran away from him and the situation. Him. Her hands pressed against her eyes. She couldn’t bare another thought of him. As soon as she tried to push him away the sickness hit her again.
“Do you feel good, Y/N?” Parker asked carefully. “Yes, I’m good.” Parker stroked her hair. “Bullshit Y/N and you know that.” He was angry. Parker was never angry with her. He stood up and her glimpse followed him. “You not only hurt yourself, you take that poor boy down the drain with you!” He said almost aggressive. Y/N tried to hide under her sheets. “I’m sorry. Okay but…” Her lips trembled, and her eyes teared a little.
Parker signed before letting himself fall on the soft carpet in front of her bed. “What are you so afraid of?” Y/N rolled her head to the other side, looking away from her best friend. “He…It’s him and… I’m…” She started and closed her eyes, pressing her hand to her mouth. Trying to get rid of lump that was building in her throat. She breathed for a few minutes, feeling that Parker was still watched her.
“This is a mistake, Parker. I can’t be his soulmate. I know that we both felt it, b-but this is not true. I-I’m just some University student and he is probably the most successful business CEO in England. Let alone all that press stuff and everything… “
While she was talking, Parker had moved closer to her. Rubbing her shoulder to get her to be a bit calmer. “First of all, you are not some kind of University student. You are beautiful and kind and smart.” Parker was trying to build her up before continuing. “And sometimes you are incredible stupid for letting the best and hottest thing in your life go.” He joked.
Y/N turned to look at him. “Thank you. For telling me what I already know.” She rolled her eyes at him. He saw that she had been crying not so long ago. “Talk to him. He will understand.” He tried to reason with Y/N now. “No, it wouldn’t change anything.” She put her blanket over her head and hid again. “Y/N.” Parker was really annoyed at this point. “The universe fucked up. That’s the tea.”
Parker left his spot and went to her door. There was no reasoning with her now. “I love you but you’re an idiot. Think about it. He could help you with all the stuff you’re afraid of. He is your soulmate, it’s his job.” He said before closing a door a bit too rough. She winced at the door and the sickness full on coming back.
Y/N stayed in bed, avoiding reality and Parkers words that still made their way into her head. While Parker had already a plan in his mind for his stupid best friend and he knew exactly where he needed to go to make it happen….
"Sorry, I don't think I'm ready to be loved by you. Not ready. To be loved by you."
The words endlessly repeated in his head. It never seemed to have an end and it makes him feel sick. He couldn't comprehend what had happened just a few days ago. She stood right in front of him and left. Why?
Not ready to be loved by YOU.
"Mate, please. You need to stop." Haz was pleading him. He was standing in front of Tom’s work desk, Hands on the table with a concerning expression. “How?” Tom barely got out.
“I know she was supposed to be your soulmate. But honestly…” He tried to reason with his best friend. “You don’t get it. Do you?” Tom stood up. His chair hiding the wall. He felt angry. And nauseous. The only feeling that had been a constant ever since that day he met her. It was following him and never stopped. Always on the edge of being able to throw up but it never happening.
“I don’t because it never happened to me. But you can’t just sit here, Tom.” Harrison stated before letting himself fall in the chair behind him. Carefully watching his mate. “You’re really shit with words, Haz.” The blue-eyed boy smiled smugly at Tom. “That’s fine. Therefor I’m good at other stuff.” Thomas rolled his eyes. “Thank you, Harrison.”
“You’re welcome. For the comment and for the work I do for you.” Tom raised his eyebrows. “I don’t see you working.” Haz, now the one rolling his eyes. “Because I finished the most important task already…” Tom signed, getting back to his work papers. Harrison watched him for a while, waiting for his friend to turn his attention back to him.
After not even ten minutes Tom threw his papers back on the desk. Letting his head fall into his hands. “I need to find her.” He mumbled. More speaking to himself at this point. “Already done.” He heard his friend say.
He looked back at Harrison, his eyes narrowed. “What did you just say?” Harrison stood from his place and making his way to the door. “You heard me.” Tom suddenly got nervous. Was she already here? “Did you think I would just let you hanging?” Harrison ask as he opened the door and signalled someone to come into the office. Tom’s eyes widened.
Parker nervously enters the office. Harrison and he made his way to Tom who looked unsure. “Mr. Holland.” Parker greeted him. Tom extended his hand to him. “Call me Tom. And you are…?” Parker smiled. “Your and my stupid best friend’s lifesaver. But you can call me Parker.” The green-eyed man joked. “Harrison…” Tom started before his mate interrupted him.
“We have a plan.” Parker and him smiled before jumping into explaining what they had exactly planned. “You and Y/N will have a dinner tonight at their apartment. You two will talk and we will see from where it takes you two.” Harrison smiled at him. “Why should she agree? She clearly is not interested.” Tom looked at Parker. “Trust me, she is. There are reasons why she acted that way she did, but you have to talk to her.” He reasoned. “Doesn’t mean she will agree.” Parker and Harrison rolled their eyes. “She won’t know. And the dinner happening at her apartment means she can’t leave and you two have privacy.”
Thankfully Y/N didn’t have any classes that day. She stayed in bed, watching Downton Abby for a while. Still suppressing every thought of what had happened and where her life seemed to gravitate towards. She was drifting in and out of sleep when Parker returned.
Y/N could hear him doing something in the kitchen. Hearing pots and a different voice. Weirdly the sickness didn’t return. She didn’t think too much about it, expecting Connor in the kitchen with Parker. She turned around in her bed, closing her eyes and, for a while, welcomed peaceful sleep.
However, it didn’t last long. Parker was shaking her frame. Trying to waken her, she stirred for a moment before opening her eyes. “Hey Sleepy. Get up.” He walked over to her closet and looking into it, trying to find something fitting for his plan. “Why?” Y/N groaned.
“Because, I said so. Get your lazy butt out of your bed. Get dressed and come out. There is dinner.” A sudden wave of excitement hit her, and she did as Parker told her. Y/N was confused, she felt all kind of different emotions and were not sure where it even came from. The excitement was a nice change for a while.
Parker put some black high waisted jeans out for her, together with a loose-fitting top in the same colour and a white thin jacket which had a little bit of see-through lace on the back. As well as lace on the sleeves which ended shortly under her elbows. She looked nice. A small nervous smile on her face as she brushed her hair.
It was the first time in days, since that day, she even bothered to get dressed. It felt nice. At least until she opened the door of her room and made the way to the kitchen. Her eyes widened, and she was in shock when she saw him leaning against the counter.
Tom looked nervous as he smiled at her. With a hand going through his hair. “Hey.” Y/N didn’t answer for a moment. Her eyes widened at him. She could feel herself shiver. “H-Hi.” She turned her head. Already trying to find a way to run. But when she turned she could see Parker staring at her and standing in front of the door, shaking his head. Showing her that there would be no way out of this.
“Hey.” His soft voice whispered. He was standing closer to her. For the first time, she had a closer look at him. He wore a dark hoodie with a jacket over it and a pair of jeans. And he was watching her. “Please don’t leave.” He nearly begged her. His brown eyes looking sincere.
She could lie to herself if she would say that there was no attraction to him. But she definitely felt something.
Tom wanted to take her hand. But he saw how scared and unsure she looked and the last thing he wanted to do is scare her away. He turned to the table when she didn’t answer him. Going through his hair again, trying to put the one curl which always got away back to it place. “W-Would you like to eat?” He asked unsure. Y/N could hear the door open and close as Parker left.
She nodded and both took a place at the table, opposite of the other person. There was food placed on it. Nothing fancy, just some pasta and salat. There was silence for a moment. Both didn’t know where to start. Picking on the food rather than actual eating it.
Y/N didn’t dare to look at him. “I-I’m sorry.” Y/N whispered. It was the only right thing to say after what happened. “I shouldn’t have left. B-But I was so scared.” After all he was here. Tom was in her home. “Why were you scared?” His eyes were glazed.
She didn’t see it as her eyes were rather focussed on the untouched food. “B-Because you are you and I-I’m just me. I don’t know how it happened but honestly… the universe f-fucked up.”
“Why would you think that? You are amazing...” Y/N looked at Tom like he was maniac. “You don’t know me.” She stated. “You’re my soulmate. I know you are and with that choice in friends you must be.” She started smiling at him. “Parker is the best.” “He is. My lifesaver as he called himself.” Tom grinned at her. She smirked and rolled her eyes over the words. “That’s Parker.”
Somehow that kind of broke the ice between them and Tom used his chance. “I have the feeling none of us will eat anything. Let’s go sit together and talk?” He asked of her. “Okay.” They made their way to the loveseat in the living room. Y/N hugging her own upper body.
Tom watched her for a while. Her Y/E/C eyes concentrating on her own hands. Her eyes were beautiful, she was beautiful, and he could feel himself falling for her. In his eyes, she was soft and introverted. He liked that, her.
“Look, I know that this is weird. It’s for me, too. But let’s try this… us. Whatever this all confusing mess is.” Tom bravely ask of her. She watched her own legs. Her lip between her teeth. Really thinking about it.
She wanted to give him the chance he deserved. Tom seemed kind and understanding and she knew there would be a lot more question she had to answer him. Explain why she acted that way. But Y/N liked Tom. And Parkers word were still branded into her mind. He will understand once you talk to him. And she hoped Parker was right.
“Okay.” She looked at him. He raised his eyebrows at her. “Okay?” She started smiling at him. “Yes. But if it doesn’t work, don’t blame me.” He shook his head over her. A smile on his face now, too. “Darlin’, it will work. Promise.”
Y/N could feel it. Like everything… was going to be fine. And Tom felt it, too.
They talked for a while. Y/N voicing her concern with everything like Toms job, the publicity, her not being good enough, apologizing for running away from him. And Tom listened, understood and forgave her. They went over a few possibilities how all of this could play out. Making hopes for the future together.
Both promising to do what it had to take to make it work. Taking little steps, getting to know each other and building trust.
Somehow Toms hands found hers during their talk. Holding her small hand and stroking it. After a while Y/N was brave enough to let his hands go. Taking his cheeks and gently pressing his forehead against hers. Caressing them. Tom’s eyes were closed, and he was trying to take her smell in. Flowery and sweet as he would describe it. She tried to get close to him. Her way of letting him in.
For the first time in days the sickness feeling was gone, and both felt strangely content with the world. They knew it would take a while to adjust to each other, the different life styles and families. But it would work out.
Because in the end, they were soulmates and if one thing in this world belonged together than soulmates.
Thank you for reading! If you liked it or found any mistakes let me know and leave a comment,please.
Tag List for Dissolve: @smexylemony @spideybitey18 @amechii @stephie-senpai @mybitchborky @underoossss @marvelismylifffe
Summary: Soulmates meet in their dreams from the age of 16 until they meet for the first time. Once they meet, they share their physical and emotional feelings with one another until they die. Tom Holland was just starting to learn how to take over the family business and ignore the urge to find his soulmate when everything changes and he’s found face to face with you. You’ve always wanted to meet your soulmate and spend the rest of your life with them until you actually meet yours and life changes forever.
Warnings: Drug use, swearing, alcohol, angst, mentions of scars/injury (not self harm)
part three: coping mechanisms
A few days after your last interaction with Tom and Harrison, you were discharged from the hospital. Jazmin had taken you home and spent the week after at your house, helping you. She didn’t ask for details about what happened, but word was quickly spreading that you were assaulted in a drug deal gone wrong. Wrong place, wrong time. And you didn’t have the heart to say otherwise.
After a week of time off, however, Jazmin had to go back to work, leaving you alone to take care of the hundreds of stitches you had that kept your chest closed. Your arm was still in a sling and wandering around the house was difficult. There was a constant dull ache in your stomach where Luke O’Malley had stabbed you. You didn’t know what happened to him and you had no idea what happened to Tom and Harrison, but you didn’t care. At least that’s what you told yourself.
Nothing was more heartbreaking, however, than to feel the hands of another woman on Tom, exploring his body and getting to know him. You’d wake up in the middle of the night, tasting cigarettes and whiskey while feeling the lips of someone on your skin. You’d try to block out the sensation of Tom sleeping with another girl, but nothing worked, not even you drinking.
Eventually, one night that Tom was getting frisky with another woman, you looked at the medication you were given to help ease the pain you were in. You took a deep, calming breath, determined to get this feeling out of your head. Without another thought, you popped two painkillers and laid down on your bed. A small smile lifted your cheeks as you could only focus on the comfort of the bed.
Maybe it wasn’t the healthiest coping mechanism, but in that moment, you were desperate to feel anything other than Tom fucking another woman. You nestled deeper into your bed while your body felt light and airy. You slowly closed your eyes and smiled. This was working. For once, you had a way to numb Tom’s feelings and the sensations he felt and for the next six hours, you’d finally pretend he wasn’t your soulmate.
*
Two weeks and some bad decisions later, you were out of pain killers and your body was screaming in pain. You groaned and crawled out of bed. The stitches had come out of your chest, but the mark was still there; angry and harsh against your soft skin. You had been kicked out of the internship program due to your incident and while the director denied it was because if that, you couldn’t hide the nagging reminder of the scar that somehow showed through any article of clothing you tried.
Tom’s feelings and sensations weren’t making things any better, either. If he wasn’t hooking up with random women, he was drinking whiskey at the worst time of day and smoking cigarettes like he would die without them. On days you tried to be productive, Tom would get into fights. His knuckles constantly ached as did his throat. Having him as your soulmate was insufferable and when you got a particularly bad cramp during your period, you couldn’t help the petty joy you felt, knowing he was also suffering.
You dragged yourself out of the house. The shirt you wore showed off the jagged edge of of the scar you had. The worst part of having the injuries you had wasn’t the pain, but the combination of a massive scar on your chest and the need to wear specific shirts to accommodate to the sling you had to wear. You sighed, trying to ignore the sense of dread seeing the injuries filled you with, but nothing worked.
You walked out of your dingy apartment and onto the streets of London. You were trying to find a way to get more pain killers, but the doctors had already refused your request. As much as you hated yourself for even entertaining the idea of illegally obtaining drugs, you couldn’t go another day with the feelings you had. Luckily for you, you lived in a sketchy part of town and happened to know where the drug deals went down.
Not even caring that your soulmate was a glorified drug dealer or that what you were about to do was definitely illegal, you approached the dealer who stood in the alley by your flat.
“Hey pretty thing,” the dealer spoke, gruffly. His face was ragged and covered with stubble. His blue eyes weren’t menacing like you always pictured a drug dealer to be. “Need something to help with that?” The dealer gestured to your injuries with a cigarette dancing between his finger tips. “Since you’re so pretty, I’ll give you a discount.”
How kind of him, you thought to yourself, sarcastically. You sighed and nodded, slowly. You ignored the spade shaped pin on his chest even though you knew it indicated who he belonged to - the Hollands. “How much?”
The dealer chuckled and told you his price. It wasn’t bad and you handed him the cash. With a sickeningly sweet smile, he handed you a bottle full of painkillers. “Don’t take them all at once, sweetheart.”
You ignored the smirk on his face as you turned and started walking away. Your heart was racing and your body was warm. You ignored every part of your instincts telling you to drop the painkillers and run, but you needed it. You tried to slow your breathing, knowing that Tom would be able to sense your anxiety. What did you care, though? He didn’t give two shits about you. He had made that perfectly clear.
*
Tom stood in his office talking with Harrison. It was the end of the day and they were waiting for the report on the sales his drug dealers had. It was a typical routine that happened almost every day. Tom filled two glasses with whiskey and grinned as he handed it to his best friend. Things were starting to look up.
Over the last three weeks since he had met his soulmate, he’d only felt the soreness in your shoulder along with a dull ache in his stomach. He shrugged off the pain, easily having worse injuries in his life. However, when your period came around, Tom struggled. While your cramps weren’t awful, Tom never had to get used to dealing with them and he simply found it way too uncomfortable.
As the days went on, Tom noticed you feeling more lightheaded and less pain came from your shoulder and stomach. Tom ignored it, assuming that you had finally healed up the wounds. He had tried to ignore any thoughts or emotions about you. It was too hard to think about the look on your face when he last saw you. Your eyes were wide with pain and a frown sat firmly on your lips. It was hard to process the fact that his soul was forever connected to another person and now he had a face to match with the sensation.
A swift knock sounded on Tom’s office door. Tom called for the person to enter and turned to see who it was. Jason, the drug dealer who was in charge of the southern part of the city, walked in. His blue eyes beamed and the stubble on his face added an extra disheveled look to the man. Tom greeted him and he nodded.
“How was the day? Did you make any sales?” Harrison asked, arms crossed. Harrison kept track of the finances in the mob. He knew that Tom was shit with numbers.
Jason chuckled and leaned back. “There was this one bird who came today. Poor thing,” he muttered with his thick cockney accent. He shook his head and lit up a cigarette. “Had her arm in a sling and a nasty scar.”
Harrison and Tom looked at each other. Without saying a word, they both were on the same page. “What arm was in a sling?”
“Where was the scar?” Harrison added, looking at Jason, intently.
Jason looked at the two of them for a brief second. Tom knew this sounded insane, but he didn’t care. Why would you be buying drugs? Jason took a deep drag off his cigarette and sighed, letting all the smoke blow out of him. “Her right arm was in the sling and the scar was right on her sternum. Looked like it went further, but the shirt covered it. What’s the big deal with her?”
Tom shook his head. “Jesus fuck,” he groaned. “Jason, if that woman buys from you ever again, call me as soon as she leaves. Got it?”
Jason furrowed his brows. “Can I ask why?”
Tom chuckled, but there was no humor in his laugh. He shook his head and threw his empty whiskey glass at the wall. It shattered right behind Jason, causing the drug dealer to jump to his feet. Most people had grown to fear Tom and despite his distaste for that power, he used it to his advantage more often than not. “No you fucking can’t,” Tom shouted. “Get the fuck out of my office.”
Jason walked out of the office without another word, leaving Tom and Harrison alone. Harrison looked at Tom in disbelief. Despite the two of them being best friends, Tom had grown distant from Harrison. “Tom,” he whispered. “What’s going on in your head?”
Tom shook his head, trying to ignore the massive amounts of guilt he was feeling. Most nights, before he went to sleep, he’d feel fear and anxiety build up in your bones. He felt you shake awake from nightmares in a cold terror. Tom could feel the ache still present in your body and worst of all, he could feel every time you took drugs. It just took you buying them illegally from one of his drug dealers to finally face the truth. Tom knew that this was a new behavior. In fact, he felt your anxiety earlier today, but assumed it was something normal, not a drug deal. The guilt was crawling into Tom’s lungs and nestling itself firmly on his chest. It was his fault that you were now breaking the law and abusing drugs. “It’s my fault,” he sighed.
“No, it’s not, Tom,” Harrison spoke, confidently. He took a step closer to Tom, but Tom shook his head.
“Don’t fucking lie to me, Harrison.” Tom looked at the open office doors and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and tried to think of his father. In moments like this, Tom could always count on his father to help him get his thoughts in order.
*
“I know you’re excited that you met your soulmate, Tom, but you cannot meet her. You know that you can’t, right?”
Tom took a bite of his cereal and nodded. Tom was getting better at focusing on the future of his mob rather than the vague-faced woman he saw in his dreams. “I know, dad.”
“Good,” he sighed. Tom’s father was always loving and encouraging to the boys, but when it came to soulmates, he wouldn’t budge. Tom knew that the distaste for soulmates was because of what happened with his mother, but Tom never dared to mention such a thing to his dad.
“Dad, what if I accidentally meet her?”
Tom avoided his dad’s cold stare from the other side of the table. It was a genuine question, on Tom’s part. He knew that meeting his soulmate wasn’t allowed, but what if she happened to be in the same store one day? Or what if she was a cop that he ran into one day? Tom’s dad finally sighed and shook his head. “Tom, you won’t meet her. And if you do, then you’ll start feeling her every thought, feeling, and emotion. That makes you weak, Tom. You can’t let yourself be weak. Not when you belong to this family and you have this job.”
Tom nodded at the bowl of cereal in front of him. His dad had been preparing him for the lifestyle that he was expected to continue, but Tom was still not ready to shut out normal emotions in the way that his father expected him to. Tom tried to ignore the nagging feeling he had in the back of his throat that meeting you in your dreams as frequently as he did was worse than actually meeting you. Tom had already grown attached to the way you laughed at his serious tone or the way you’d be able to tell when he didn’t want to talk about meaningless things. He was attached to the way you were so easily there for him, even when he was being a relentless asshole. Tom couldn’t help but feel like he was already breaking your heart despite only knowing each other for a few weeks. And even then, you didn’t even know what the other one looked like. Tom looked up at his dad who raised his eyebrows. Tom knew that his dad was expecting him to agree and to show submission to his father’s request. Tom sighed, ignoring the soul crushing guilt he felt when he slowly nodded at his father. “Okay, dad.”
*
You walked back to your flat and shut the door with a sigh. Your hands were shaking as you popped open the pill vile and took two pills. At this point, your body was so used to taking the pills that two weren’t enough for you, but you weren’t sure if there was a difference in illegal pain killers and legal pain killers. You took a deep breath, trying to ignore the overwhelming sense of guilt that you could feel coming from Tom. Your first instinct was to find him, hold him, and comfort him. After a few seconds you shook your head in disgust. If Tom gave a single shit about you, he’d come over every time you woke up with tears streaming down your face because of nightmares. If Tom cared about you, he would check up on you every time he felt you get high. If Tom cared, he wouldn’t sleep with random women nearly every day. If Tom didn’t care, why did you?
You ignored the ache in your heart that was now because of your own thoughts. Instead, you focused on the way your body felt lighter with each step you took. You focused on the soft fabric of your shirt and the way the rug under your feet felt. You sighed, drowsily, as the pain killers slowly took effect on your body. You flopped onto the couch and felt your body sink into the plush cushions. You turned on the TV, planning to watch some trashy reality while you enjoyed your high, but your phone ringing caught you off guard. The phone number wasn’t recognized, but you didn’t care enough to worry if it was something serious. You silenced the call without another thought.
The phone started ringing, again, however. You groaned and silenced it again, not wanting to talk to anyone. If it was that important, they could leave a message, you reasoned with yourself. The phone rang for a third time, and you felt anger prick at your cheeks and burn into your chest. You suddenly put the sensation with the incessant calling and realized that it was Tom calling you. Tom was calling you and you ignoring him was pissing him off. You smirked at this realization and chuckled. Before you could think of any reason why Tom would be calling you, you shut your phone off and turned the volume of the TV louder. You popped open the pill container you were given and took a third. With the smile still lazily spreading across your cheeks, you walked over to the kitchen and poured yourself a glass of wine. Without thinking, you guzzled the whole glass and poured another. “Fuck you, Tom Holland,” you muttered to yourself, as if toasting to this statement. You raised the glass to your lips and took another drink, already feeling sick.
Your stomach was flipping and lurching, but you didn’t care. All you could focus on was the fact that you were feeling a cigarette burning your throat and the warmth of Tom’s anger. You were pleased with yourself for dragging these feelings out of Tom. It was high fucking time that he was suffering because of you just as much as you were because of him. You finished the second glass, forcing the alcohol to burn every inch of your throat and stomach. You knew you were going to be sick, but the thought of making Tom feel your suffering and pain was too glorifying for you. You filled a third glass and took a drink as you stumbled into the living room with drunken giggles. Maybe you didn’t care so much about the scar you now held forever, or the fact that your future was put on hold because of Tom. Maybe you could pretend for a small minute that everything was okay.
You flopped on the couch, spilling the wine on your shirt, but all you could do was giggle. You were growing more tired and sick, but you couldn’t let yourself be bothered. All you could do was chuckle, lazily. You forced your eyes to stay as open as they could, but the alcohol mixing with the pain killers was making you so incredibly drowsy. It didn’t matter, though. You could never sleep, lately.
The last few weeks, you would wake up in a cold sweat, thinking of the man who held you against him and slashed your chest open. You hadn’t slept a full night since the assault, but the drugs were helping. You smiled at the thought of being able to sleep for a few hours without seeing or hearing that man. Maybe one day, you’d sleep through the night without the help of drugs, but for now, you were medicating yourself. What else was there to do?
Before you could stand up to fill a fourth glass of wine, your apartment door busted open. Your reflexes were slowed and your logic was out the window. You stood up and wobbled back and forth, trying to balance yourself. Ignoring the smallest rational voice in the back of your brain telling you that it was Tom, you still walked towards the door. You stumbled and peered your head around the corner to see Tom and Harrison both standing there. Anger filled your bones as you looked at their dumb faces. You could see Tom wobbling slightly, but he wasn’t nearly as affected by you. You stumbled into their view and threw the wine glass at Tom as best as you could. It missed his head, narrowly, and shattered at his feet.
Tom whipped his head to glare at you. “What the fuck are you doing?”
You chuckled. “Fuck you, Tom Holland,” you slurred. A laugh erupted out of your diaphragm, even though you knew this situation was far from funny, but this was all you could bring yourself to do in this moment. You shrugged at the boy. His brown eyes were concerned and his eyebrows were knitted, but the drugs in your system blocked his feelings from you. Tom took a step closer to you and you flinched backwards, causing you to trip over the rug behind you. Your ass hit the ground with a pathetic thud and Tom walked over to you. He knelt beside you and helped you up. “Get the fuck off me,” you whimpered as tears slipped out of your eyes. An uncontrollable sadness was washing through your veins and you knew it was yours. It was the sadness over your lost career, your lost soulmate, and the weight of the trauma that you’d experienced in your life.
Tom helped you sit on the couch as he pursed his lips. You could see the fear and the guilt dancing along his eyebrows. He shook his head as he wiped a tear from your cheek. He pushed the hair off of your face and slowly rubbed your back. The last thing you wanted right now was to be comforted by Tom, but you couldn’t ignore the ache in your soul to just be with Tom. “Why are you doing this?”
You sniffled as the world kept shifting around you. The alcohol was fully hitting you and all you could do was accept it. “I can’t sleep; I can’t eat. I have nothing. All I can think of is…is…him,” you sputtered. “All I can think of is the fear and the smell of him. I can’t sleep without seeing him and I can’t eat without feeling the knife against my chest. I can’t function with you sleeping around with other women. I can’t escape this-this anger and sadness.” You wiped your eyes, roughly and shook your head. “You’re not here because you care. You’re here to make sure I don’t fuck with your mob or the cops.” Your lips curled in a sneer as you spit on the ground. The more you talked, the more saliva filled your mouth. Or maybe it was the tears that were now uncontrollably falling from your eyes that were filling your mouth. It didn’t matter to you, not right now. “I won’t fuck with anything. I’m just trying to keep my head above water.”
Tom’s heart was breaking at the sight of you. The scar was clearly visible and tears were freely falling down your cheeks, but you were still speaking your mind. He knew that the universe made you his soulmate because you weren’t afraid to speak your mind to him. “Love, let’s get you into some pj’s and get some rest, okay?”
“What’s the point,” you spat. “I don’t sleep anyway.”
“C’mon,” he ushered, softly. He helped you stand and walked you towards the bedroom. You didn’t fight him as he wrapped his arms around you waist and you certainly didn’t fight him when he held you close to his side. He helped you with every stumble and wobble, but his grip never wavered.
Once in your bedroom, Tom held you up as you grabbed some sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. He covered his eyes as you changed, but his hand was still softly at your side. Maybe it was the drugs or the alcohol that was lowering your ability to think clearly. Two hours ago, you would’ve punched Tom so hard in his face, but in this moment, as he took care of you, you couldn’t feel the anger anymore. You could feel his guilt and his sadness, but you didn’t feel angry anymore. His brown eyes were so concerned as he helped you lay on your bed. Without asking, he took off his heavy knit sweater and climbed into bed, next to you.
“I’m so mad at you,” you whimpered as tears fell out of your eyes. “I can’t fucking stand you.”
Tom could hear the weakness in your tone and knew that you were trying so hard to come off menacing. He couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle as he heard Harrison sweep up the broken glass and tidy up the flat. “I know, princess,” he whispered. “Let me try to help you sleep, okay? You need to sleep, love.” Your eyelids slipped shut as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. “I’ll be right here. I promise.”
You couldn’t fight it anymore. You let the wave of sleep wash over your exhausted body. Tom’s arms were tightly wrapped around you, filling you with a sense of security. You listened to his steady heartbeat and felt your soul rest, finally.
And for the first time in weeks, you finally slept through the night without any nightmares.
okay. ive been binge reading a lot of soulmate!au’s and I have an idea for a Tom Holland one. I’m really thinking about writing it so like ... hmu if that’s something you’d want to see ?!?!
