Feb 17, 2021
Ned: You break up with people for the dumbest reasons. Like that last girl you broke up with just because she listened to audio books.
MJ: You can't listen to a book and then call it reading.
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Ned: You break up with people for the dumbest reasons. Like that last girl you broke up with just because she listened to audio books.
MJ: You can't listen to a book and then call it reading.
Oliver: [calmly.] There's no excuse for this kind of outburst... for the kind that Kono's killer perpetrated upon our safe, nurturing workplace, okay? From now, on-
Oliver: [SLAMS HAND ON TABLE.]
Oliver: -NO MORE DRAMATIC EXITS!
Oliver: [GLARES AROUND THE ROOM.]
Oliver: [Whips around towards the door.]
Oliver: [Flips over the nearest chair as he walks past it.]
Character A: I want to write about what happened, and the other night was so chaotic, so I need to actually interview you.
Character B: [Stage whispering.] NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
Character B: That would ruin me!
Character A: Why?
Character B: [All in one breath.] Because that'll ruin me, you can't interview me, if you try I'll ruin you!
Character A: I mean, it's my first day on the job, and day one is the foundation of everything.
Character A: I'm like, BUZZING right now.
Character B: -Wait. Let me feel. [Carefully puts hands on their shoulders.]
Character B: [Squinting.] Oh, you're right.
Character B: It's like bees in there.
Character A: Listen, <Character B.>
Character A: [Walks into room, eating some sort of vegetable with a container of unidentifiable dip. Potentially pudding.]
Character A: When you're young, you take risks! And do crazy crap.
Character A: [Pauses. Raises brows.]
Character A: [Gestures with vegetable.] Once, on a dare, I kissed a dead dog on the road.
Character A: Look at me now!
[Frantic beeping from the kitchen. Smoke wafting out of the doorway.]
Character A: [Turns to the kitchen.] Grub's on!
Character B: Oh, jeez. [Follows.]
Character C: [SPRINTS FOR THE TOASTER OVEN.]
Character C: What?! [Carefully taking horrendously burnt dishes out.]
Character C: Did you put the boxes in at 500 degrees!?
Character B: [couGHING]
Character D: [DYING NOISES, WAVING THINGS IN THE AIR FRANTICALLY TO DISPERSE SMOKE]
Character A: [Sudden hearty giggling. Fanning away smoke.] I am NOT a chef! [Continued giggling. Shakes head.]
Character A: [calmly.] There's no excuse for this kind of outburst... for the kind that <Character B> perpetrated upon our safe, nurturing workplace, okay? From now, on-
Character A: [SLAMS HAND ON TABLE.]
Character A: -NO MORE DRAMATIC EXITS!
Character A: [GLARES AROUND THE ROOM.]
Character A: [Whips around towards the door.]
Character A: [Flips over the nearest chair as they walk past it.]