#source:family guy

[269-million]

[Awaiting battle at Helm's Deep]

Aragorn: Gimli, you've been fiddling with that ham radio since we came here. Get in line for battle!

Gimli: I can barely get any reception on this thing! So far the only station that comes in is some Mordorian orcs reading news from places I'm not sure exist!

Spokesorc: Today, in Gorborsnoff, a peaceful demonstration was successfully reduced to blood shed as members of the Thrakadangle Tribe pillaged Lugransh Square in remembrance of the Orgrag Massacre. Also finally some good news out of neighbouring Harad city Calkilbil, as locals there have reached an uneasy alliance with the bordering Mumbumshabadil. And now with sports, here's Fragor Trachyia-Severer.

Fragor Trachyia-Severer: From the World of Sport, the Gimbat Veiny Ticklers slew the Smashing Bashing Tibia Grinders, Seventy Cesspit to Forty Fell Beast. At the tone, the time will be 26 Tower.

[Tone]

Gimli: I'm not sure about ANY of that!

[weirdkev27]

Jack: Okay here’s another riddle. A woman has two children. Now a homicidal maniac tells her she can only keep one of them. Which one does she let him kill?

Ethical Bug: That’s, that’s not a riddle. That’s…That’s just terrible!

Jack: Wrong! The Ugly One!

[whenimgoodandready]

(Kat, W&W and Raul are playing Pictionary with Raul vigorously drawing something)

Wendell:(frantically) “A jackal! Jackal! It's a jackal! It looks like a jackal! Jackal? Jackal! It's a jackal! Jackal?”

Kat:(slams a small hourglass on the table) “Time!”

(Raul slams his face on the table then raises it up to get up in Wendell’s face)

Raul:(pissed af) “It wasn't right the first time you said it, why the hell would it be right the next ten times?!”

(angrily slides his drawing pad and pencils off the table and storms off)

Raul:(throws his arm up in frustration) “God!”

[hasbrobear]

Pearl and Greg go back in time

Rose:Hello there.

[walks over to them]

Pearl:Wow, 18 year old Rose..... [to Greg] Son of a bitch.

[269-million]

[As Grishnakh tries to kidnap Merry and Pippin]

Pippin: Well, you're certainly driven. Let me ask you, doesn't it bother you to be surrounded by all these Men who want you dead just because you're an Orc? Coz from the looks of things, you're headed where the ones they've already gotten were headed.

Grishnakh: Aw, no way, Halfling! The beginning of the word "Orc" is "Or". "Or" gives you a choice, and I choose not to be an Orc!

Merry: Wow, you need a roadmap for that one!

[269-million]

Sam: Mr. Frodo? Mr. Frodo!

Gollum: Mr. Frodo! Mr. Frodo!

Sam: Is your sweetheart's name Frodo, too?

Gollum: No, but we figuresss if it's banging a fat hobbit like you, we hassss a shot! [Resumes yelling] Mr. Frodo!

Sam: Hey, what are you - [More fervently now] Mr. Frodo!?

Gollum: Mr. Frodo!

Sam: MR. FRODO!!!

[269-million]

Merry: Pippin, face it. You're a terrible liar.

[Cut to Pippin in the Mines of Moria.]

Pippin: [Knocks the skeleton into the well.]

Gandalf: [Stops reading and glares daggers at him.]

Pippin: Uhh... It was you.

[269-million]

[After the Fellowship is formed, and the Council of Elrond concludes, everyone indulges in a game for some R&R. They sit on the ground in a circle, as Pippin walks around the edges, patting each participant’s head.]

Pippin: [Walks past some, including Merry, Legolas, and Gimli.] Duck. Duck. Duck. Duck. Duck. [Comes to Aragorn.] ...Duck.

Pippin: [Continues on, past Gandalf and Elrond; everyone looks non-plussed now.]  Duck. Duck. Duck. Duck. [Comes to Boromir.] ...Duck.

Pippin: [Continues, Frodo and Sam are as peeved as everyone else.] Duck. Duck. Duck. Duck. [A creature closely related to a duck now stands before Pippin.]

Pippin: ...

Duck-like creature: ...

Pippin: ...

Pippin: [Smiles; pats the creature’s head.] Duck!

Pippin: [Internally] What is that other word?