#source: dogma

[fmajorenthusiast]

Janet: Human sex is a joke in Transylvania?

Riff Raff: The way I understand it it's basically a joke over here

[incorrectrashofthecountsfamily]

Choi Han: So what do we do now?

Bud: Well, I say we get drunk, because I’m all out of ideas.

[incorrectlooneytunesquotes]

Friar Porky: H-however, if you should decide to stop being selfish and accept your responsi-responsi-acceept what you have do, you won't be alone. Y-you'll have s-support.

Robin Hood Daffy: What, more angels?

Friar Porky: P-p-p-prophets. T-t-two of them. The one who speaks - and he will, at g-g-g-great lengths, whether you want him to or not - will make mention of himself as a prophet. The other one...w-w-well, he's the quiet type, but he'll be h-h-helpful just the same.

[fade-and-loathing-in-thedas]

Flemeth: You know, here's what I don't get about you. You know for a fact that there is an Elven Patheon. You've been in their presence. They've spoken to you personally. Yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist.

Solas: I just like to fuck with the Dalish. I just love it, I love to keep those guys on their toes.

[incorrecthockey]

Brad Marchand: Oh, I'm Brad, and this is my hetero-lifemate Patrice. 

[selphiahaven]

[incorrectgotgquotes]

Silver Surfer: You masturbate more than anyone in the galaxy.

Rocket: Shit, everybody knows that, tell me something nobody knows.

Silver Surfer: When you do it you think about guys!

[Groot stares at him.]

Rocket: Dude, not all the time!

[bat-titans]

Nun: Let me get this straight: you don't believe in God because of "Alice in Wonderland"?

Jason: No, "Through the Looking Glass". That poem, "The Walrus and the Carpenter," that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and his good nature, he obviously represents either Buddha, or, or with his tusks, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha. That takes care of your Eastern religions. Now the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the Western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do? What do they do? They, they dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensures the destruction of one's inner being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions, by inhibiting our decisions out of, out of fear of some, some intangible parent figure who, who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says, and says, "Do it... do it and I'll fuckin' spank you."

[Damian is listening from a nearby seat]

[quietly]

Damian: Oh, geez...

Nun: The way you put it... I never really thought about it like that before. What have I been doing with my life? What am I...

Jason: Yeah, I know. Listen, my advice to you: you take this money that you've been collecting for your parish, go get yourself a nice dress, you know? Fix yourself up. Find some man, find some woman, that you can connect with, even for a moment, 'cause that's really all that life is, Sister. It's a series of moments. Why don't you seize yours?

[the nun hesitates, then smiles, nods, and leaves]

Jason: That-a girl. Ah.

[he turns around and sits next to Damian with a grin on his face]

Damian: You know, here's what I don't get about you. You know for a fact that there is a God. You've been in His presence. He's spoken to you personally. Yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist.

Jason: I just like to fuck with the clergy, man. I just love it, I love to keep those guys on their toes.