#source: incorrect-quote-generator

[thenameissnix]

Ellie: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes... Ellie: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps. Joel: ...That took an unexpected turn. Dina: So did their neck.

[potterandpromises]

Lorena: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you angry. 

Flynn: Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid. 

Lorena: You have to teach Iris how to drive. 

Flynn: ...put the band-aid back on.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Theodorus: Le Comte isn’t answering his phone

MC: I’ll call

Arthur: Theo and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Saint Germain: Hello?

[potterandpromises]

Flynn: If you want my advice—

Rufus: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. Multiple times.

Flynn: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, she’s also tried to kill me. 

Lucy: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder.

[potterandpromises]

Wyatt: I sleep with a gun under my pillow. 

Dave: I sleep with a knife. 

Lucy: Both of you are pathetic. 

Wyatt: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with? 

Lucy: Flynn.

[potterandpromises]

Lucy, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs? 

Iris: It means like in hand-to-hand combat. 

Lucy: Ohhhh- 

Flynn: Both of you get out of this kitchen.

[potterandpromises]

Rufus: Lucy, I’m afraid. 

Lucy: Just stay close to Flynn. 

Rufus: That's why I’m afraid.

[potterandpromises]

Lorena: The printer broke while printing out Lucy's birthday invitations. 

Flynn: Well, what are they supposed to say? 

Lorena: ‘Lucy's birthday’

Flynn: So, what do they say instead? 

Lorena: ‘Lucy’s bi’

Flynn: 

Flynn: Works out either way.