#source:blackadder

[hakukai-says]

Hakuba (checking notes on KID and murmuring): Hmm. Interesting.

Kaito (walking past): Ah. Our resident Holmes. Started talking to yourself, I see.

Hakuba: Yes, it's the only way I can be assured of intelligent conversation.

[weirdkev27]

King of Demons: Don't worry, Eda. I have a last and I think you'll find decisive witness. Call Luz the Human.

Eda: (whispers into Luz’s ears) Deny everything, Luz.

Luz: (nods in understanding and heads to the stand)

King: Are you Luz the Human?

Luz: NO! (winks at Eda)

King: Um, but you are Eda the Owl Lady's student?

Luz: NO! (Gives Eda two thumbs up)

Eda: (Slams her head on the table)

King: Come on, Luz. Be a bit more helpful, it's me!

Luz: No it isn't!  

[hakukai-says]

Hakuba: Am I jumping the gun, Kuroba, or are the words "I have a cunning plan" marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?

[weirdkev27]

Black Heron: Steelbeak, your brain is like the four-headed, man-eating haddock fish-beast of Aberdeen.

Steelbeak: In what way?

Heron: It doesn’t exist.

[weirdkev27]

King Snugglemagne: Last night I was having a bit of a snack at the Naughty Hellfire Club, and some fellow said I had the wit and sophistication of a donkey! Quinton: Oh, an absurd suggestion, sir. King Snugglemagne: You're right. It is absurd. Quinton: Unless of course, it was a particularly stupid donkey. King Snugglemagne: If only I'd thought of saying that.

[weirdkev27]

Ma Beagle: Am I jumping the gun, Bigtime, or are the words "I have a cunning plan" marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?

Bigtime: They certainly are, Ma!

Ma: Well, forgive me if I don't do a cartwheel of joy. Your reputation in this department is hardly one-hundred percent. So, what is it?

Bigtime: We do... nothing.

Ma: (pause) Yep. That's another world-beater.

Bigtime: No, wait. We do nothing... until our heads have actually been cut off.

Ma: And then we... spring into action?

Bigtime: Yeah! You know how when you cut a chicken's head off, it runs round and round the farmyard and then out the farm gate?

Ma: (pause) Yeeeeees?

Bigtime: Well, we wait until our heads have been cut off, then we run round and round the farmyard, out the gate and we escape. What do you think?

Ma: (long pause) My opinion's rather hard to sum up in words. So I'll just put it this way. (twists his nose)

[tasha-vick]

Eve: (looks at map for their next mission) God, it’s a barren, featureless desert out there, isn’t it?

Villanelle: (nodding, terrified)

Carolyn, suppressing an eye-roll: The other side, ladies.

[weirdkev27]

Mr Rogers:Get the door, Amelia Bedelia.

[There is a crash. Amelia Bedelia enters, carrying a door.]

Mr. Rogers: Bedelia, I would advise you to make the explanation you are about to give... phenomenally good.

Amelia Bedelia: You said "Get the door."

Rogers: Not good enough. You're fired.

Amelia Bedelia: But my lord, I've been in your family since 1963!

Rogers: So has syphilis! Now get out!