#spaceaustralians

[hihoace]

Humans drink poison?

(here is part 3. I hope you will enjoy it.)

Helle laughed out loud watching the scene. Which reminded Ga'al that he's not alone with Fe'ek, so he let his friend live another day.

She was curious as to what does Ga'al still do to make him fall asleep but it seemed she'll have to wait to learn that.

"So yes... We all had our ways to stay calm... You'll be fine." Ga'al tried to save whatever left of his dignity after the previous scene.

"Sweet!" she smiled than she heard the metallic noice that ment it is soon time to sleep on this side of the ship. "Oh, that's the first nightcall, think we should eat dinner, right?"

"Oh, you are so right... Humans are not exclusively herbivorus, right?" Fe'ek asked. When Helle shook her head he nodded. "Perfect. That means I don't have to cook separatly!"

He started to pack out his cooking tools. He knew he could just use one of the fast food packages but no matter how long he stayed on the ship he couldn't get used to them. They tased like plastic to him. Ga'al was perfectly fine with them, but still preferred "real" food so he also agreed to get a few cooking tools and make a kitchen in their quarters. It took months till they got the green light to build it, but they both agreed, it worth the effort.

While Fe'ek made dinner, Ga'al and Helle started to have a conversation. They talked about their homes. Helle was amazed that on Ga'al home world, the cities were builed on trees. He talked about how Felleg, the biggest city there was taking up half of the planted and still it could not be seen from above.

And Helle told stories about Gaia's culture and how it is still devided into small local regions and all of them have different laws and a lot of the time, even different languages. Fe'ek was listening to them from the kitchen.

"So what do your species eat? Do you also like fish?"

"Yes I personally like it, but some of us hates the taste or the texture. Humans can eat almost everything. I even like coffee in the morning."

Ga'al stopped mid movement. "What?"

"Coffee!" Helle repeated.

"Oh I thought you said coffein... The poison."

"Coffee has coffein in it." Fe'ek peeked out from the kitchen. "I've been working with poisons before and learned that humans are somewhat immune to them. 400 milligrams of coffein daily is completly manageable for them."

"And we can drink more from time to time, but if we go above that every day it can cause some heart problems." Helle added.

"You mean to tell me, that the worst poison that is still legal is barely causing an inconvenience to you?" Ga'al was buffeled.

"That's the main reason it's still legal. Some scientists even suggest that it is beneficial to drink it every day, though it's still debated." Helle shrugged.

"And wait, I know something even better!" said Fe'ek as he came out from the kitchen. "Humans can digest alcohol."

Ga'al stared at Helle. "Is that true?"

The girl just nodded. "Though I hate the taste of it."

Up untill this point Ga'al has looked at Helle as someone who has a very similar physiology to him and is otherwise harmless. Now he was was looking at her with a bit more respect. Helle tilted her head to the side.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

He nodded.

"Dinner is ready by the way!" Fe'ek's hand landed on Ga'al's shoulder. "Could you two set the table, please?"

Ga'al nodded again.

He was silent troughout the dinner while Helle and Fe'ek exchanges a few gossips from the ship. Helle seemed to know a lot about what happened lately in sector no. 12 and 13 and Fe'ek knew all the local gossips in 25 and 26 where they worked.

After eating they cleaned up the table and the kitchen. Everything was done when they heard the nightcall again. It was time to sleep. The lights of sector no. 24 went out with the lights in theor room.

"Oh well... I think we should sleep..." Fe'ek yawned.

Helle started looking for her nightlight. She turned it up as soon as she found it.

Ga'al offered his bed to her, but she declined the offer, saying she's fine with sleeping on the couch and she doesn't want to be any more of an inconvenience.

After that everyone went to sleep. Helle fell asleep almost immidietly. Fe'ek noted that she probably had a long day. Ga'al agreed.

Before falling asleep Fe'ek taught Ga'al some things about humans he knew. He reassured him that even though humans are fine with alcohol and coffein they are not immune to botulinum for example. Ga'al fell asleep after a while so he could go to sleep too finally.

[randombsidk]

Muscle memory

So I've recently been sucked into the "Humans are space Australians" tags, and I thought of something. What if aliens don't have muscle memory? Like, they have a piano or something on board, and the human gets excited. They immediately start to play it, and the aliens are astounded because this particular human plays with an almost impossible amount of skill. Then the human reveals that they actually hadn't played for years, and the aliens start freaking out. I don't know, just thought that it would be cool.

[drunkenrussianrevolutionary]

World Leaders

We have spoken about the animals on this crazy planet, about funny confusing body conditions, about whatever. 

I wanna talk about TRUMP, PUTIN, KIM-JONG-UN and the like... 

How to explain an alien that our leaders are mad morons who want to kill each other and the world? It doesn´t make sense even to humans... 

[dragglemonger-blog]

Humans are weird : healed injuries aching

Okay so I'm new to this whole humans are space orcs and space Australia thing. But reading a lot of them I came up with at thought. Humans with aching injures that have been long since healed.

Like for example, let's say Diane, broke her arm roller skating, cause she landed on it the wrong way. Had surgery, cause it broke in three different places, but now it's fully healed and functional. On rainy, gloomy, or colder day the past injury starts aching.

With their technology aliens probably get things patched up quickly. With no trace of the injury left behind. So imagine them and their human companion visiting say a colder planet. As they move about and track the area. The alien's human friend starts rubbing, holding, or flexing ( opening and closing) their once injured are because of the cold.

Alien👽 ( I couldn't come up with a name sorry lol): " Human Diane, are you alright? "

Diane : " Just fine. Why? "

Alien: " You keep paying attention to your left arm. As though it is injured. "

Diane : " It was. " Simply shrugging off the comment.

Alien : " What have you not requested medical attention? " Now considerably concerned.

Diane: " Because it's already healed. " Raising her left arm showing the fading scar.

Alien : " Then why are you paying attention to it so much? "

Diane: " This planet is closer than the ship, and the cold is making it ach."

Alien: " So an injury that is completely healed is hurting you because it is cold? " It's face scrunching up in confusion.

Diane: " Yep. "

The alien just shakes it's done with the confusion that humans bring.

Sorry if my dialogue is bad. Or if the way I talked about my thoughts where confusing. I'm not entirely the best at writing but I really wanted to share my thoughts. Hope it was interesting thought.

[meowitsmerida97]

Space Orcs

Okay so yesterday I made a mistake. My family went on a hike in an area that I thought would be deserty considering I live in Southern California.

So I decided to wear one of my newer pairs of short shorts that I got for the summer months. You thinking I would get hot and I would be happy to have shorts on. As you can already tell that was not correct.

It was 37 degree Fahrenheit. That is five degrees above freezing. I have a thin ass shirt, a jacket, luckily, and I am wearing short shorts. No one knew it would be that cold but it was.

Did I stay in the car and stay warm? No I went on that fucking hike because it was three miles total and I was going to fuckingh complete it. There was some snow at the top of the mountain we got too. Snow. I have seen snow maybe two or three times in my life and I was always kitted out in snow gear. I was wearing shorts that went a quarter of the way down my thighs.

Most animals would probably die if they were in my situation. I lived, I was a little numb and cold. However after drinking hot coco and getting home, and under a blanket I was fine.

I understand why we are fucking space Orcs.

[meowitsmerida97]

House Predators

Okay back on the humans are space Orcs posts.

So last week I was babysitting a family friend’s kid. Now this family has a cattle dog of some sort named Ellie. Ellie is an intense dog. I’ve grown up with dogs all of my life and she’s the only one that I know and still get nervous around. She is a medium to small dog. She isn’t big but whenever I see her I just immediately realize ‘this thing could rip my fuckinng throat out.’

So here I was hanging out the parents had returned a little early and we were finishing up some show me and the kid were watching. Ellie had a bone that looked pristine when she first had it when the parents got home maybe ten minutes before. I look down and this fucking dog has bitten grooves into the fucking bone like deep ones. On top of that the bone had a huge head on it and like the stuff that sort of flared out was half gone. I pointed this out to the mom and she began telling me the story of how the father of Ellie was similarly intense and very territorial. So much so that the delivery guy would throw packages over the gate rather than risk being attacked. She also witnessed him attack one of these thrown packages and in one bite rip the fucking corner off of this thick cardboard box.

Space Australians indeed. Honestly early humans were just Steve Irwin. Sweet talking motherfucking wolves into hanging out around us and not murdering our children.

[meowitsmerida97]

Humans Are Wierd

Ok so yesterday I pulled an all-nighter and I honestly didn’t fell that bad. I could function ok and the only reason I couldn’t sleep was because my brain would not shut off.

So imagine how an alien would perceive that.

“Human Dee, are you alright?” Sergeant Xe’yi asks concerned. “You’re medical droid says that you have been awake for a lot longer than humans should.”

“Yeah I’m fine. I just couldn’t sleep last night. I’m surprised I’m not more tired.”

“You are okay? I was lead to believe that sleep is very important to a human’s health.”

“Well It is. And I wouldn’t keep doing this for the rest of the week. One night won’t kill me.”

“So sleep is something you need?”

“Yeah if you loose over five earth days your immune system is heavily damaged but one night while it’s not the worst you shouldn’t be doing it all of the time.”

“I see but you can survive without it?”

“Yes but it’s usually seen as torture if you deny to people.”

Xe’iy was left very confused.

[meowitsmerida97]

Space Orcs and their Offspring

I really like these posts!

Anyways so some people have like really good maternal/paternal instincts while others don’t right? I fall into the former, and I actually love children, sue me. So imagine a human baby needing to be transported back to earth. It gets put on a ship with a few humans and because of the media depicting women as having magical maternal instincts they present the child to the female human on board.

“Why are you trying to hand me a baby?” The human female seems ready to bolt from the room at the sight of the small human.

“Are human females not the primary caregivers for their offspring?”

“Well depends on the parents. I really don’t know what to do with a baby guys. I’ll probably accidentally kill it.”

“You are scared of the child?”

“I’m scared I would kill it. You might want to try the other people on board. Maybe one of them will activate their maternal instincts or something.”

“What about your maternal instincts?”

“I’m just not one of those women that have mothering instincts. I might if I actually give birth but honestly I would rather not deal with any of that.”

“Hey Captain- Is that a baby?!” Human-Ryan asks excitedly almost bouncing on his toes.

“Yes, do you know how to care for your species offspring?” Xey ask hesitantly.

Human-Ryan is a very large male, if humans had castes he would certainly be in the warrior caste. The infant was so very tiny, it could probably fit into the male’s hand. The media on Earth also portrayed males as more prone to accidentally hurting young offspring during play and just generally dealing worse with their offspring than females.

“Oh I love babies! I didn’t have any younger siblings but I had so many baby cousins. I’ve always been like a huge protector, you know? I used to take care of baby cousins all of the time.” He reached his hands out and xey hand him the child.

The infant, which had been uncomfortable before, now nuzzles into the large man’s chest. He coos at the child whispering in a high pitched voice he usually reserved for the communal human companion predator. Xey realize that the baby is in good hands and it’s time to update the human manual again.