I want to update and add to the warning post i made last summer.
I had originally planned on keeping this blog hush hush, or only referencing it on my main. I’ve deleted that account for personal reasons, so I’m expanding on the issue here, where it belongs. It’s irresponsible of me to warn others, but attempt and hide what I’m saying at the same time. I’m fixing that now.
Hannawolfcross / spareusallanotheryear / caseclosededogawa, otherwise known as Erin or Hanna, had a long distance romantic and sexual relationship with a seventeen year old when she was just a few years from turning thirty. I was that seventeen year old. I won’t go into detail because my story is in the original warning post, but I want to touch up on a few things I didn’t mention in that post.
In her home state, what she was doing was illegal. Even if it wasn’t, and the age of consent was valid for both of us, that’s not what the age of consent laws are meant to do. They’re meant to protect minors in relationships, not married adults chasing teenagers.
I wasn’t aware what we were doing was wrong, or illegal in her state. I was a traumatized, dysfunctional, and desperate high school kid. She gave me attention I craved, and made me feel special and important. I felt blessed that someone with life experiences like hers felt romantic or physical desire for me. I’ll take the blame for being a toxic mess, and unhealthy to be in a relationship with at that point in my life. I’ve already apologized for that and I’ll do it again. But I’m done blaming myself for not realizing we weren’t supposed to be doing this. She was an adult, she had enough relationship experience to know better. She knew I was a kid, she referenced it many times (her advice was always centered around how it’s okay for me to be moody and scared, I’m a teenager, it’s normal.)
I’m still struggling to call her a predator or malicious. As far as I know, I was the only teenager she pursued. She might have actually loved me, and had nothing but good intentions. I’m slowly accepting that even if that was the case, it doesn’t cancel out the fact she knew I was a minor. It doesn’t change the circumstances or her choices. She needs to take responsibility, her friends and roleplay partners deserve to know.
Good or loving intentions also don’t cancel out the fact one of her main supporters, her close friend back when we split up, and even now, was roleplaying graphic sex and violence with another minor. They were playing an adult caretaker for a child Hanna, while they were an adult, and the child was played by a teenager. This is the same person I mentioned in the original post, who to this day, reblogs things like this, ironically.
it doesn’t change the fact Erin still continues to play out sex with high school boys, on the caseclosededogawa blog. That she can look at a teenager character, think of sex, and act that out. on it’s own that’s sketchy, but combined with our history, I have a hard time letting it go without a mention.
I don’t want people to believe Erin is an irredeemable horrible person. As far as I know, she’s still a good and giving individual. A person can be decent while still capable of hurting others, I know that well enough. She chased a vulnerable autistic teenager, messed up their idea of how relationships work, and refuses to show remorse. She stays in contact with people who did similar things, and defends those things strongly. If she learned anything from what happened, it’s not obvious. I’m not even sure she considers relationships between adults and teens to be immoral. That’s alarming, for someone well in her thirties.
Whether or not anyone chooses to forgive and continue interaction is up to them, I’m not interested in going around trying to police that. I’m also not interested in anon harassment or a bullying campaign. My only purpose with this is letting unaware people know, and drawing attention to what went wrong, so other young people don’t make the same mistakes. I’m working on healing, on letting go of that shame and dirty bad feeling I get whenever I remember what happened. It’s a process, and I’m proud of that. Bringing attention to this after years of shameful silence is important, and one step closer to closure for myself.
