#spatula lore

[hands-you-a-spatula]

*Hands you a spatula*

Edit why do you all keep eating the spatulas they're not even edible wtf

[hands-you-a-spatula]

who is tula and why are they in a spa

spa tula

Tula is my bicycle

It likes self care

It is made of spatulas

[hands-you-a-spatula]

The spatula uses it/its pronouns

The hand holding the spatula uses it/its pronouns

The ??? attached to the hand uses it/its pronouns

[hands-you-a-spatula]

I have a lot of spatulas.

Some of them are strange colors or shapes.

Some of them have things written on them.

I keep most of them in a large vault labeled "spatulas".

The rest are hidden in many places.

I have several hidden on my person like knives on a rogue.

At least three have been swallowed by the unknowable void before I could hand them to anyone.

About two dozen were involved in a time traveling accident and don't exist yet.

One was stolen by Schrodinger's cat and is now both a spatula and not a spatula simultaneously. I don't know which because I haven't found it yet.

One was reanimated (by the soul of another spatula) and is now my pet spatula.

One of them contains a hidden coded message that will unlock all the secrets of the universe.

One of them has my main blog url written on it.

I love my spatulas.

I love handing them to people.

*Hands you a spatula*