Hands you a spatula @hands-you-a-spatula - Tumblr Blog

*Hands you a spatula*

Edit why do you all keep eating the spatulas they're not even edible wtf

#spatula #spatula lore

h4nds4ndwich

@hands-you-a-spatula

Hey we’re hand buddies

hands-you-a-spatula

Indeed we are

Hands you a spatula

xalatath

You misused thou/thee in a joke post and provoked my ire.

hands-you-a-spatula

Hands thee a spatula

yokowan

dont store a knife with the point facing down, it damages the blade. no, dont do that either. when you store it with the point facing up you might accidentally hurt yourself when you try to grab it. dont store a knife at all actually. your blade must never leave your hand, always ready, ruthless and waiting. you know deep down that ever since you learned the stench of blood you will never be able to cast it aside. or just get a sheath for it i guess.

hands-you-a-spatula

Hands you a spatula

soundoftheirwings

Gotta tell you guys something wild in the Chinese fan sphere

So some fanartist drew a “sexy” (read: booby) version of a (cartoon) character who is traditionally very non-sexualised. Fans of the character got mad about it because it’s kind of groundbreaking how that character is written and portrayed and this art totally ignores the entire point of the character. They demanded the art be deleted. In response to that other people said, well what the fanartist did may be distateful but they have every right to draw what they’re into. The two sides fight for days and each starts a harassment campaign and even report their “opponents’” accounts.

So far so typical. But things eventually come to a head and they decide that this will be settled by votes - not through a poll. Through donations to a children’s education charity via each side’s portal. Whoever can get the highest amount of donation wins.

And that is how this charity received over 1 million in donations in three days lol. Oh btw the “freedom of expression” side won by a landslide (960k to 40k)

tlbodine

From now on this is how all petty fandom disputes should be settled.

flagellant

hands-you-a-spatula

Hands you a spatula

fuckyeahdavidandyonatan

HEEELP just saw a video by a tunisian guy saying "How do I explain to a white persom that this is my favourite food" and like all of the comments were like "I'm black/arab/south asian and you need to explain it to me too" except for one polish person saying it looks delicious

hands-you-a-spatula

Hands you a spatula

sea-parrot

You wake up one morning, and feel something is off. Your pillow smells strangely sweet. You’re still groggy with sleep, and try to hug your pillow closer. A piece of it simply breaks in your hand. It is made of chocolate.

You try to pull the blanket off of yourself, and you realize that, it too, is made of chocolate. You try to shake it off, and step out of bed. Your carpet feels strangely spongy. You look down, only to realize it’s actually cake. Lovingly baked, and smelling of sweet fruit. You grab a piece, and cautiously take a bite. It is one of the most delicious cakes you have ever eaten.

You get up, confused, and exit your room to see if the rest of your house is like this. The door handle melts in your hand as you hold onto it, and covers it with dark chocolate carefully painted gold. The rest of the carpet on the floor is still cake, the guardrails on the stairs leading down are tempered chocolate, the tiles on the floor are the same, the windows are sugar glass, everything is edible.

You run outside, knocking over the lovingly crafted chocolate front door in a panic.

You realize, in horror, that your house was not an exception. The bushes, the grass, the asphalt on the road, the trees, birds, the world itself, is chocolate.

Somewhere, not too far away, stands a man. Amaury fucking Guichon.

sea-parrot