Pairing: Spike x Reader, sort of Spike x Buffy
Warnings: none really, kinda angsty ig??
AN: takes place in 4x09, also I’m in love with spike and proud of it
“Summers what did you do with my boyfriend?” You yell as you make your way to the living room of Giles’s home.
She looks up with an eyebrow raised, clearly un phased by your anger.
“Aren’t you supposed to only come out in the dark?” She asks boredly.
You groan, anger seething through you.
“Slayer, I mean it. Where is he?” You ask again, looking her dead in the eyes.
She sighs, standing up and walking over to you.
“He’s not here. Why would he come over here at all? We all want him dead, remember?” She explains again with a sigh.
“I don’t know! Where is he? I haven’t seen him in days. I thought... I thought maybe he’d come here to take something but I just... I don’t know!” You whine, your bottom lip jutting out in a pout.
“He probably ran off to hunt some sorority girls or something.” She responds with a smirk.
You roll your eyes, looking back at her with daggers of a stare. “You’re cruel, you know that? You think I don’t believe that he’d jump some whores bones behind my back? Or go back to Drusilla in a heartbeat? Not that the two are any different...” You mutter with a bitter tone. “But I do. I fear that every damn day I’m with him but that doesn’t stop me from staying with him always, which brings me back to my initial question: where is he?” You repeat, looking to her desperately.
“I don’t know. I tend not to keep tabs on the non threatening enemies.” She responds.
You huff a sigh, rubbing your eyes tiredly. “Fine I’ll just find him myself.” You mutter, storming out the door and into the warmth of the setting sun.
You walk your way home, laying defeatedly in your bed, patting at the side where Spike would usually be.
After a lot of worrisome hours, you finally fall into a less than peaceful sleep.
———————————————————————————
The next day is spent wandering around, hunting for Spike. You’re restless and you know you probably look crazed, wandering around the town of Sunnydale in your sweats and tank top, your hair a frizzy mess and your eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep.
You wander mindlessly towards Buffy and Willow’s dorm, stopping outside as you see her familiar curly head of hair. Your breath hitches as you see the familiar white head of hair suddenly appear next to her, racing across the lawn, not caring in the slightest how he ended up there. Just that he was there was enough.
You notice the conversation the two of them had started since he appeared but don’t care, jumping onto his back, your arms wrapped securely around him as you nuzzle your head into the crook of his neck desperately.
He lets out a grunt in surprise, chuckling a bit as you place a kiss on his cheek, ignoring the rest of whatever crazy conversation he’d started with Buffy.
“Hello pet.” He hums, smirking as he helps you off his back, pulling you into his side.
“I was so worried.” You whisper as he breaths in the scent of your hair.
“I’m fine, I promise.” He responds, nipping at your ear playfully and making you giggle.
Buffy rolls her eyes, moving to push you out of the way. You whimper as she shoves you to the ground, watching as Spike fills with anger, going forward and punching her in the nose, only to cry out in pain and hold his head.
Buffy punches back, making him wince.
“As touching as this moment was, I have business with you.” She growls, grabbing Spike and tying him up easily.
You try to protest but every time she manages to fight you off, threatening to knock you out the next time you tried anything.
You trail after them, not wanting to lose his whereabouts again no matter what it took.
You follow her all the way into Giles’s house again, watching in horror as she tosses him to the ground.
Spike lets out a grunt. “Hey! Watch it!” He growls, glaring up at her.
“One more word out of you, and I swear...” She threatens, pointing at him with a dangerous look in her eye.
“Back off Buffy!” You warn but she gives you the same look, somehow making you back down.
You feel weak and helpless but she manages to scare you. You can’t put your finger on why, more than likely the aggression but she’s a force to be reckoned with and you know you fighting her would only end in your death.
Spike rolls his eyes again, looking bored.
“Swear, what? You're not gonna do anything to me. You don't got the stones.” He says with a small grin, making you feel slightly better yourself.
Buffy scoffs, looking at him in disbelief. “Oh, I got the stones. I got a whole bunch of .. stones.” She responds defensively.
Spike laughs, grinning to her tauntingly. “Yeah? You're all talk.” He challenges fearlessly, his tone almost bored. You giggle a bit yourself, glad he’s not completely miserable.
“GILES! I accidentally killed Spike. That's okay, right?” Buffy shouts, glaring daggers in his direction.
“Lay another hand on him and I’ll kill you myself!” You threaten, jumping in front of your boyfriend quickly.
She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. He on the other hand, looks at you, a look of pride strong in his eyes, making you grin and blush a bit.
“Uh um just a minute...” Giles calls back, sounding confused.
The two bicker back and forth while you wait, uttering threat after threat.
She grabs him, shoving him into a chair harshly. You glare in protest, making your way to her to stop her rough movements but Spike makes eye contact with you, tilting his head in a way that tells you not to try anything.
He sneers at her with anger in his face. “I get this spell reversed, they'll be finding your body for weeks.” He growls, making your face twist in confusion.
“Spell?” You ask, ignoring the heat of the moment.
“Long story babe. You’ll hear all about it when we blow this popsicle stand.” He says with a smirk, glancing at Buffy menacingly.
“Oh please, make a move. I’m dying for a good slay.” Buffy glowers back, stepping closer to him angrily.
Suddenly, the tension dissipates between them and Buffy is untying him, as he stands he allows her the seat, barely giving you a second glance.
“Spike?” You ask, confused.
He ignores you, getting down on his knees.
“Giles!” You cry out in alarm, watching with wide eyes at the scene before you.
As Giles enters the room, you watch the moment continue, frozen in your spot against your better judgement.
“If the two of you could just remain civil long enough for-“ He starts but then he gets a picture of what’s happening.
“It’s just so sudden!” Buffy says with a small, gleeful smile. “I don’t know what to say.” She adds.
“Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth.” Spike urges, smiling at her with her hand held in his.
You feel tears brimming your eyes, blurring your vision slightly.
“But- but I thought I made you the happiest man on earth...” You mumble, looking to him longingly. Again, he’s too enthralled with Buffy to give you the time of day.
“Oh Spike! Of course it’s a yes!” Buffy squeals, embracing him in her arms.
A second later, their lips are pressed together, moving in sync and you feel your heart shatter inside your chest.
The feeling of emptiness sinks in as you feel the tears running down your face.
Finally, spike looks at you, a frown taking over his face.
“Oh y/n, it’s nothing personal. I did love you but Buffy and I are just meant to be. We’ve got so much history, it’s only right that something comes from it.” He explains, Buffy draped over his lap.
He reaches to give your hand a sympathetic squeeze but you jerk away, cradling your hand defensively as more tears form.
“D-do not touch me.” You growl, backing away from them and hiccuping between sobs.
“Come anywhere near me again and I’ll stake you myself.” You whisper, looking to him in a haunted daze.
The happy couple quickly gets too involved in each other to care, shrugging and distracting themselves with wedding details as you back out the door, your mind whirling with the memory of seeing them together like that.
You always doubted yourself, knowing Spike could probably find someone much better than you. But you’d never dreamed that of all the women he could get with, the one he’d want would be Buffy the slayer. He’d always hated her and her friends with a passion so strong, you never imagined that passion would go into something other than hatred.
You make your way back to your place like a zombie, your head too heavy with sorrow to think of anything else.
You let your tears roll down your face as you enter, grabbing your things as quickly as possible and shoving them all into a duffel bag, ignoring anything you see that belongs to Spike. You sniffle as you make a small accidental glance at the Polaroid you’d taken of the two of you together not long ago.
It usually made you laugh when you looked at it, seeing as it was you kissing the air considering the whole no pictures thing. Spike had hated taking it but you’d insisted and when you laughed at it you always saw a small, hesitant grin come to his face.
You collapse to the floor in tears, clutching the picture to you desperately. You longed for his touch, the cool fingertips that would send goosebumps over your entire body and warmth all at the same time.
You sit there feeling useless for what feels like hours, the ripe vision of Spike and Buffy sucking face fresh in your mind, taunting you.
Composing yourself, you rise to your feet, dragging yourself back outside.
“I will not let him unravel me like this.” You promise yourself, taking a deep breath.
You pull a hoodie on over your tank top, walking out into the cool night air and off towards the graveyard, needing to clear your head. For some reason the graveyard was oddly calming to you in a sense, the constant quiet and sense of aloneness comforting for you.
Suddenly, you see the scoobies fighting demons out of a crypt. You roll your eyes, turning to walk away but letting out a sigh as you decide to be a bigger person and help.
You run over, grabbing one of Buffy’s weapons and throwing your anger at her and Spike into fighting off one of the demons in front of you. You stab it, making it shrivel to the ground and die. You feel oddly liberated and refreshed, which makes you go after another, then another, then another. Next thing you know, you’ve killed all the demons in sight.
“Woah! Can someone say rage, party of one?” Xander jokes. No one laughs and you remain sulking, crossing your arms and ignoring the couple kissing in the corner.
The gang continues fighting demons as they come. You’re having fun for a while but then you watch as Spike gets attacked by one of them and you jump, surprised by what’s happened.
“Spike!” Buffy and you shout at the same time, both running to him. But Buffy’s faster, grabbing him in her hands and making you feel green with envy.
A second later you’re absolutely seething, watching her kiss him in a moment of worry and passion again. You bite your lip, trying to prevent yourself from saying or doing anything.
A few moments and many excruciating kisses later, a bolt of lightning crashes across the sky. You don’t think anything of it at first, but then Spike and Buffy jump apart as though they couldn’t possibly be anywhere near each other ever again.
“Oh ugh.” Buffy groans, looking at Spike as if he had bit her.
“Oh bloody hell!” Spike cries, his lips curling up in a show of absolute disgust.
The both of them wipe their lips, rubbing at their tongues like they’re on fire. Spike gags and Buffy pretends to tremble in disgust.
“Spike lips! Lips of Spike!” She bellows, shuddering.
“I happen to think you’d be lucky to kiss those lips.” You murmur hoarsely with a sad smile. Spike looks to you in shock, clearly knowing what all had happened.
“Y/n baby...” He says but you turn away, starting to walk away while rubbing your arms for warmth.
“Go away.” You sigh, making your way out of the graveyard quickly.
“Y/n!” He calls after you, running to catch up.
“I don’t want to talk to you Spike.” You say weakly, not even convincing yourself that it’s true.
He runs a little faster and gets in front of you, grabbing you gently by the shoulders to keep you where you are.
“C’mon pet... I would never do that to you, you know that.” He promises. You sigh, looking at him for the first time in the past few days.
“That’s just the thing Spike; I don’t know that. You still pine after Drusilla so I know you’d leave me for her in the blink of an eye. You still chase around college girls, even if you can’t feed off them. And now you’ve gone for Buffy. The slayer. The girl you’ve hated since day one.” You ramble, needing to get everything out in the open. “I’ve always been here for you but you will always put them first Spike and that kills me, it breaks me. But I live with it because I love you. But even with that, I’ve had enough of this whole focus on what you want all the time. It’s... I can’t do it anymore Spike. I’m tired, I’m so tired.” You cry, tears flowing out of you like a river once again.
Spike holds you in his arms, rubbing a hand over your back unsurely. “There there...” he says hesitantly, clearly unsure what to do in this situation.
With his minimal efforts of help, you recompose yourself and dab your eyes, waiting for him to start talking.
“Listen to me alright? That thing with the slayer was not real. Drusilla hates me and I want nothing to do with her either. The sorority girls? Just entertaining and good to take out my aggressions. You’re nothing like any of them. You’re better. You’re better because you’re you and you’re mine and because I love you damn it!” He exclaims, his tone one of desperation and desire as he’s meeting your eyes through his entire speech.
Your eyes open wider as you look up at him, sucking in your bottom lip.
“Y-you love me?” You ask quietly with a soft smile.
He nods, smirking and taking in a sigh. “Yes, I bloody love you with every piece of me.” He promises, running his hand over your hip while the other cups your face.
You stay stunned for a second. He’d never said the L word with you before. It was implied, it was shown through actions and gestures but never actually spoken. The words being directed at you from his lips though, that was the sweetest sound you could ever hear.
“I love you too Spike.” You say with a smile, closing the tense gap between you with an electrifying kiss. You both feel it all through your bodies, the connection binding itself once and for all.
He growls into your lips, making you smile.
“That slayer had nothing on you pet.” He promises, holding you close to him in an almost possessive way.
“Really?” You murmur doubtfully.
“Without a doubt.” He confirms roughly, digging his fingers into your hair.
You let out a moan and without hesitation, he hoists you up, your legs wrapped around his waist. The two of you stay glued to each others lips as he carries you back to the cavern you live in where he shows you just how much he loves you and only you.
