|| I’m actually shook.. I had the craziest experience today and if it’s true, then it explains a lot about me and the way I’ve perceived things in the past?
I’m going to ramble a bit, so sorry if it’s confusing or won’t make sense to you at all:
I had this conversation with a colleague during lunch break today. She explained she gave a lesson about a certain theory in China (I forgot the name aahh), but anyway, it’s basically that we are all forms of energy, objects and beings alike and that we’re all connected to one another. We have this energy inside us, flowing inside us, it’s pure energy, not even emotions or thoughts, because those are ‘meanings’ we give to said energy. Sometimes a connection between people is stronger and there are those who are more sensitive towards others’ energies.
I had crazy experiences as a kid and for years I told myself: it’s just a dream, it’s not real, these are your thoughts going crazy. But here’s the thing. After this colleague explained that to me, dots began to connect.
For example, my sweet mum. She can’t sleep whenever her children can’t sleep. I always thought she meant it as a way of saying she cares and worries for us, but she actually, genuinely, wholeheartedly can’t sleep whenever one of us lies awake in bed. She’s always been highly sensitive, especially when it came to those she cares deeply for.
She also always claims to be able to see spirits. I never believed her before, but the past few years I’m actually starting to think she might be telling the truth and I just don’t want to believe it. See the difference? I’ll elaborate on this later.
But first, another example. My dad. Sometimes he has these dreams in which he sees a person, often a family member. Crazily enough, as it happened several times and not just once, we often heard a terrible message about said person in the next few days. You know these omens we don’t really think about and often pass them as coincidence? In my dad’s case it’s not a coincidence. What if he is on average more sensitive towards certain energies and because of that, he ‘feels’ that something’s going to happen to them? So not like a foreboding, or predicting the future, but an energy he ‘feels’ that’s ‘not quite right’? Am I making sense?
Now back to the spirit part. One night, when I was about... eight or nine? I don’t remember. What I do remember was that I couldn’t sleep all night. I was wide awake. There was no light from the window either, or white clothes in corner that could justify it. I wasn’t even remotely sleepy. And yet I saw this man sitting in one corner, drinking something, I don’t know what, but as a kid I always believed it to be tea. I didn’t know the man at all, but there he was, sitting there, just drinking.
I was terrified, jesus christ, I made so many prayers that night.
Fast forward about.. a year or so later? It was still light outside, it was summer, but we still had to go to bed by nine. I couldn’t sleep. Again, I wasn’t tired at all.
However, there was something floating in front of me. It was like.. barely 30 centimeters big, a white figure, I couldn’t see a head (I’m not sure about that detail, I couldn’t make out a face, but not at all in a creepy way or anything) and I remember thinking as a kid: ‘You’re an angel, aren’t you?’
I wasn’t scared, terrified or wary. I felt peaceful and eventually I actually fell asleep with that thing floating in front of me.
For years I told myself they were just fantasies and maybe it really is just that, but then the colleague told me that she could see spirits and it does have a lot to do with the energies some people are more sensitive to than others.
It sounds crazy, but I do want to believe it? Sometimes I feel certain emotions so strongly, or they hit me later on, and as that is entirely normal, sometimes I wonder if there is more to that....
Thank you for reading so far if you did <3 I hope I didn’t bore you with this and if you have thoughts about it, please do leave them! I’d like to talk more about this to make more sense of it.. c:
