early seasons Supernatural is like what if you were a changeling, a false child swapped into the crib of a family that hunts your kind. still a child but deep down, somehow, you know that there’s something off in you, you always knew even if you didn’t know, but your brother never saw it, all he knew was that you were his little brother, his responsibility, his family, and so he loved you as such. but now. now he knows, he knows that you’re the thing, you’ve always been the thing that he’s been taught to hate, been taught to hunt, been taught to kill. and your very existence is breaking down his entire belief system but if he didn’t know you. he would wanna hunt you.
As a 22 year old, the “22 years ago” hits just right.
Ok, I was wrong. Dean is the older brother. Little Sammy is fetal. Their mom played NASA twister on the ceiling and died. The portal to the bottom of my toaster oven opens up behind her. Is she a demon? Oh, their dad knows something.
Sam goes to Stanford???? Casually? And has a girlfriend who says she will always be there. Now I know she is going to die (she died 38 minutes later). Someone is breaking in. There’s no way this is going to be a cliche fight.
OH MY GOD ITS JENSEN ACKLES. You’re even more beautiful than I remember. Apparently Dad is hunting and hasn’t been home in a few days. Who cares about deer anyway? Oh, it’s that kind of hunting trip. I see.
Damn, this show is dark. Literally dark. I can watch it before bed without getting flash banged every three seconds.
Oooh, moody Dean. I see, I like. Brood like a low simmering crockpot, white boy.
How the hell did they discover that there is EVP on a grainy scratched up voicemail? Mr Plot Convienence makes his first impression.
Ah, Sammy boy has a law school interview on Monday. Definitely won’t miss that. He will be a lawyer. He wants the “apple pie” life. And he promises his girlfriend it will all be ok. As for sure as it gets.
Oooooooh it’s our first ghost. She’s creepy. Wait, why is she talking like that. No lady, put the skirt back down. God damn, this stupid boy folded like a taco shell. One second he’s horned up, the next second he is a human gusher inside his car. How the turns have tabled.
Dean lies a lot. Like a lot a lot. Actually mildly stressful as someone who is stuck on truth mode as my default setting. I need to master the art of being vague.
Sam doesn’t like Metallica? Maybe this is why your mom died.
PRETTY CAR FAN SERVICE.
I totally forgot their dad was missing. It’s been 18 minutes. So much has happened in so little time.
Aw damn; they come up to a fatal accident. Surely they aren’t going to—THEY ARE FEDERAL MARSHALLS. Wait, Dean has cards for both him and Sam… big brother has been waiting to get the band back together. Dean is the talker, the charmer, the enforcer. Sam is the absorber, the prober, the infiltrator.
This is going to be a beautiful—15 SEASONS?? THERES 15 OF THEM???
At long last, the Internet of 2005: Archive Search. And nerd Sam can work it like a pro. Go Mr. Stanford. Speaking of, Dean doesn’t think Sam should live a normal life like a normal person, marry a normal girl, and eat normal pie. Because you can’t possibly listen to Metallica, drive a 67 Impala, and be normal. Scoff. Maybe this is why Sam is averse to Metallica.
Now they’re on a bridge. Now they’re arguing on a bridge. Now their empty car is chasing them on a bridge. Now they’re “swan diving” off the bridge.
Motel time. Their dad is like that one meme guy with the murder board on the wall. Different ghost types, digging up bodies, oh this is serious.
Sam wants to reconcile about saying he doesn’t want to die trying to find his mom’s killer (kinda logical if you ask me). Dean doesn’t do feelings. Instead, he does showers and leather jackets.
Don’t you just hate when you go out to get some grub and this strange old man totally rats you out to the two cops you lied to earlier and then you’re just on their hood having your Miranda rights read out? Yeah, me too, Dean. (But like, even his reflection on the car looks gorgeous 😳).
FIRST OFFICIAL SIN: Dean literally gets the book thrown at him. Or his dad’s journal that is. And it's got coordinates.
So as Dean is handcuffed to a desk (I have a feeling this isn't a first), Sam is chatting up the husband of the ghost they are chasing… and immediately brings up the possibility of him cheating and pissing him off.
These brothers, am I right?
Lucky paperclip saves the day. Misdemeanor missed. Dean finds a phone booth somewhere and calls Sam who is driving the Impala (yeah, that’s what that is. Does this car have a name?).
Apparently this journal is like the Winchester Bible.
DUDE SHE IS BEHIND SAM. And she is telepathically driving the car. I wonder if this is how Tesla got the idea for Tesla.
Ewwww now she’s crawling on him like a tick in front of an old building. Now she’s ripping his heart out. Wow that escalated quickly. The fastest way to a man heart is between the 4th and 5th intercostal space apparently.
DEAN WHY ARE YOU SHOOTING THE CAR!? NOW SAMS DRIVING IT THROUGH A BUILDING???
Oh thank god everything’s ok. Sam too.
So as the boys are having a staring contest with ghost chick, I guess she evaporated due to the power of accountability from her dead children?
Wow that CGI took me out for a hot minute, I can’t lie. It’s apparent this was 2005.
Now Dean is lecturing Sam on screwing up his car after he shot at it. Are these two always like this?
Now with Daddy Dearest’s journal and the coordinates, they could go to Colorado, but Sam has his law school interview because that is totally what he is going to do for the next 15 seasons.
All seems like it’s been wrapped up in a cute little bow. And now Jessica is being preheated and bleeding like a strawberry toaster strudel that I left in the microwave for too long.
Aaannnddd Sammy has changed his mind about the family business. I wonder how Dean feels seeing someone burn on the ceiling for the second time in his life.
