cinematography analysis and queer reading under the cut
It's of course very obvious that the shapeshifter is functioning as a mirror to Dean, but I still find it fascinating how this is depicted in the cinematography. Because the director isn't using physical mirrors, despite them being such a popular trope in horror for showing the true self or the mental state or metamorphosis of a character. The only time where you sort of see one is in a foreshadowing shortly after the establishing shot with the side-view mirror (which I absolutely love):
But for the rest? Not really. I always wonder if interpret waaaay too much into certain frames, but I am kind of obsessed with how Dean and Becky are divided by the crime scene tape in this shot. Becky is the victim. Dean, well Dean? He's the monster. Kind of. I think a lot of the reflection in this episode happens through what Dean is not also, and he's are not living the lives of 'normal' people. I love how the directing of the episode shows early on that Dean does not belong to that part of society, just like the shapeshifter.
I mean I obviously am doing a queer reading of that (being queer myself), with the monstrous and othered bodies in media being those that are not conforming to various aspects of white cishet society. But I am going to say - the implication that there is a sort of inherent tragedy to Dean's life, not just a sense of not belonging because of his 'lifestyle' but also the fear of being monstrous enough to destroy other people's bodies and livelihoods? Ugh. It hurts, and it's sadly coming back in anti-queer narratives to this day. But yeah, as I said, Dean is portrayed in a way that is disconnecting him from the rest - also from Sam who is the link to this 'normal' life by knowing Becky and who has kept Dean from 'being himself' by pursuing his own dreams and conforming to the exact society that Dean is not belonging to, letting Dean behind in a position where he's neither free to be himself nor enough to be someone else -, and that is giving him a sameness to the shapeshifter.
Dean has to hide the queer part of himself, in a desperate attempt to be accepted, mirrored by the monster of the week: "So maybe this thing was born human but was different, hideous and hated...until he learned to become someone else."
I think that's why I am also obsessed with these shots. Because both the shapeshifter and the shapeshifter as Dean are getting one, revealing their true self underneath the mask that is this body, a body that is subjected to other people's ideas and is projected on and isn't their own. But also the eyes are mirrors? The body part described as the 'mirror to the soul'. It's a little cliché and on the nose, but I find it way cooler than just working with physical mirrors, you know?
And yeah, when it comes to reflections, of course, we cannot forget this scene:
Which is Dean seeing himself, but more so is actually Dean seeing how he is perceived by others. It's not a depiction of his actual self, it's a depiction of the concept of him. We know this, we know Dean is not the 'bad guy' that is televised nor is it an accurate portrayal of him. But I think that it serves to show the audience how media is a place that can shape ideas and construct norms, and it also serves as a way to remind Dean that this is how he will be reacted to if he dares to 'become' monstrous. If he dared to be like the shapeshifter, the outcast, and put his own being over his responsibility to conform. Despite his brother Sam being allowed the same egoism - but Sam's egoism is striving to conform, he's [email protected] you know, and Dean's egoism is striving to be free, to regain control over his body.
And then we have this shot.
Followed by this shot.
Dean 'killing' this reflection of himself, this part of himself in favor of serving and saving. He's a freak, but he's not just a freak like Sam in that he's currently living the hunter lifestyle and didn't really fit into Stanford. Because - well, he's different than Sam. Queer. He's isolated, alone, born hated like the shapeshifter if he ever lived his true self, yearning to be loved. The shapeshifter literally says it: "All he wants is for someone to love him. He’s like me. You know, everybody needs a little human touch now and then. It’s so hard to be different." I think this episode hits so hard for me because you can see Dean's self-hatred, especially in that last shot, Dean's internal struggles that he hides so well under his hero-esque facade. But also how he is ultimately a loving and caring person, putting everyone's happiness above himself.
I think despite this episode reading like being queer is an inherent tragedy at first glance, it walks a fine line in actually trying to convey quite the opposite. Dean is other, but the other isn't bad. Yes, he does good by suppressing himself, so does that mean he has to act according to others to be happy? I don't think that is what the episode is saying. I think it is more an example of Dean's 'monstrosity' being not the same as the shapeshifter's monstrosity in the end, that despite all the sameness they aren't one. That despite what society depicts him to be, evil and harmful to others, he isn't this mirror image projected onto him. He isn't what was shown on those televisions, or in a wider sense, the media. He isn't what is hunted down by the SWAT team, or in a wider sense, institutions in power. Dean's self IS good. Dean's self IS caring and loving, despite his fear to pursue his own dreams and be free, and it's not coming through his actions of suppressing those desires, but because he ultimately is neither those 'normal' people nor the shapeshifter, but his own truth. So yeah, while I think this episode definitely walks a dangerous path by having Dean continue to live this old life in the end, the cinematography in this episode also functions to reveal how - while horror is a love letter to the monstrous, represents counter-narratives and helps to deconstruct normativity (like in this episode!) - the monstrous is often instrumentalized to suppress and oppress and depict victims as an inherent danger to the established systems of oppression. Dean's true self isn't bad. People are just made to believe that it is.
A lot is made of the way that the Winchester boys grew up isolated. Raised to be soldiers, moved from town to town. That should lead to a particular kind of raw-edged unsocialized set of feral outsiders -- but Sam and Dean are thoroughly not that. A large part of why, I think, is that they were always enrolled in school (until Dean aged out). They actually had lots of opportunity to engage with normal people, even if the relationships they formed weren't necessarily deep. To borrow from Fight Club, they had plenty of 'single serving friends' -- good for a short time, but not for a long time. This practice is how they're both so good with people -- they don't come off as all that strange in normal interactions when they're not working, because they're just... not that strange, at least on the surface. They're good with people. They're just not good long-term.
When Sam goes to college, part of the stated goal is for there to be a normal life -- or a life at all, because he doesn't seem to include the rambling hunting existence as a valid option. A big part of that normalcy included finding a girlfriend and making friends. Makes sense, especially since he must have passed through dozens of schools with pre-established friend groups that he could see he'd never really be part of. After a while he'd know there was no point in trying to integrate, if they were only going to be in that school for a few months. Stanford gave him the opportunity to put down some roots, to really engage, and it seems from what little we see that he made a good effort. ...But.
DEAN: You’re kidding. You still keep in touch with your college buddies?
SAM: Why not?
DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell them? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doing?
SAM: I tell them I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell them I needed some time off after Jess.
DEAN: Oh, so you lie to them.
SAM: No. I just don’t tell them… everything.
DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, telling the truth is far worse.
SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?
DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.
SAM: You’re kind of anti-social, you know that?
[...]
DEAN: Dude, what kind of people are you hanging out with?
SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.
DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.
We'll learn in a later episode how well it went for Dean when he shared the family secrets with someone, so his attitude here is understandable. That said, when Rebecca finds out that something monstrous is happening with Sam, she doesn't completely flip out -- the evidence is in front of her, and she appreciates Sam's help. So, maybe Dean's wrong about this. ...But we never see Rebecca again, and there's no indication that Sam actually kept up with her or Zack after this hunt.
Sam also never told Jessica the truth about his life, and he doubles down on that choice when he tells Dean in episode one that Jessica was never going to know. He thinks there can be a partition between the hunting life (that doesn't even count as life, and is dangerous and bad and must be kept secret) and the "real" life in the daylight, and sees no issue in closing his entire past and large parts of himself away. It's safer, and better, and he'll be able to get through it and have that normal life he always said he wanted.
It doesn't work that way, though, and not only because the plot intervened. We've already had the moral structure of this universe established and it is not acceptable to ignore those things you could have done something about, with your knowledge and skills. Sam's a hunter, got trained that way for ten years, and the pretense that he can be wholly in these friendships (or romantic relationships) while partitioning away a massive part of his history and personality is a farce that was doomed to end. His friends didn't know him because he couldn't let them know him. He says himself, he never really fit in. The 'normal life' he was after wasn't ever going to be an option. He understands that, by the end of the episode; accepting it will take a little longer. At least he and Dean are freaks together.
Are hellers too stupid or stubborn to understand that in season ONE, angels/Castiel DIDN'T EXIST IN THE SHOW nor were they supposed to.
destiel is the only story ever actually
Oh really? We know that the first three seasons are considered 'filler' by hellers, but to think that a fanon ship was all the show was about, that's insane.
