I Will Spend My Whole Life Loving You (Spock x Fem!Reader) [Request!]
“Fic Request: Spock x Fem!Reader (Vulcan/Human hybrid) go on a romantic date!”
”Headcanon or Fic Request: fem!Reader being married to Spock!”
“Request: Spock x Human-Vulcan Fem!Reader get married on the Enterprise. Preferably TOS Spock please.”
- @sovereignoblivious
Hi there! Thank you for requesting :) I decided to mash these all into one since they are all kind of similar. I hope you don’t mind! Also, I write for mainly AOS but nothing really distinguishes it from TOS so you can imagine it taking place in TOS if you would like! I also totally forgot about the vulcan/human hybrid until I was about 1k words in, so if it’s not as well represented I’m so sorry!! I tried to fit it in as best I could :(
I wrote this like a recap of your relationship with Spock, so there’s not much dialogue. I tried to be as detailed as possible!
Also, sorry for the lack of updates... the school year just ended and I went on vacation for two weeks to visit my family in Hawai’i! I had no wifi for nearly 10 days and let me tell you it was AWFUL. Haha. I’m so glad to be home. The rest of this summer will hopefully be full of updates! Keep the requests coming!
ALSO, THANK YOU GUYS FOR THE FOLLOWS!!!!! I gained 20 more followers while I was away! I love you all so much :D!!!
Word Count: 2377 Warnings: fluff, swearing, mentions of self-harm/self-loathing
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You had absolutely hated Spock at first. Boiling, raw, pure hatred for him, even though your reasons were unfair and you knew it.
Your initial thought was to just avoid him as much as possible, but that plan was eventually foiled when you realized how difficult that was going to be when he was in almost all of your classes, his dorm was literally directly across the street (like you could look out your window and see right through his window, how you both happened to be on the 17th floor in separate buildings and the same room number was beyond you) and you saw him probably more than ten times a day.
He was there on the walk to class in the morning, there during class, there during lunch hour, even there sometimes on the walk home after class. Once you thought it couldn’t get any worse, your professors started pairing the two of you for group projects. When you asked why, all of their answers ran along the same lines: ‘You both need to learn to get along’ or ‘You could learn a lot from each other’ and other shit like that. You started getting suspicious when you suddenly had four projects assigned with him as your partner. You asked your friends about it when you were getting frustrated and all they did was share a look between each other and shrug. When you and Spock set a date to finally start working on all of your projects, you started dreading it. You found yourself lingering around, whether it be to ask a professor a question that you already knew the answer to after class was over or staying late at the library so that you wouldn't have to go to bed and wake up the next morning, a whole day closer to doomsday. You tried to tell yourself that the reason you were doing that was because you hated him and didn’t want to be around him for any amount of time, but when the familiar burning sensation you always felt when thinking of him started morphing into something else you got scared. The change startled you, suddenly feeling self-conscious and unsure as opposed to your typically confident nature. It was all so new and it was especially frightening when you didn’t have enough time to unpack it before your workday with Spock, so, instead of dealing with it, you tried to push it all down.
When the day finally came, it took every ounce of willpower you had to roll out of bed and get dressed. It was a Saturday so you didn’t need to be dressed in uniform, so you went with some black sweats that had ‘STARFLEET’ written down one side and a [f/c] tank top. It was a little chilly outside, so you threw your favorite hoodie on as you walked out the door. You tied your hair back in the elevator, careful to leave enough down to cover your ears, put your keycard into the side pocket of your backpack and you started the walk to the campus library.
If there was one thing you were most self-conscious about it was your Vulcan ears. You didn’t like your Vulcan side as much because of your father. He was half-Vulcan half-human, while you were three-quarters human and only one-fourth Vulcan. You were glad you only inherited the ears, not the eyebrows. You and your father didn’t have the best relationship, or any relationship at all, really, and you never knew why. He was often strict and unfeeling, never exercising his human side in front of you. He left when you were eight years old for a Vulcan science mission and never came back. Your mother still loved him, though you never saw him show any sign of affection back. You always believed your mother deserved better, and that was when your hatred for Vulcans started to manifest. Starting with yourself.
A few years after he left you fell into a dark place, although you were exceptional at hiding it. You would often stare at your sharply pointed ears in the mirror and pull on them, hoping that if you pulled hard enough from the bottom they would even out. You would wear earmuffs year-round so that nobody would see. When you were fifteen, you snuck out and got them pierced several times so that they would appear more human. They also compelled you to become more emotional to appear less like your father.
You shook yourself out of your reverie as you walked out of the front entrance of your building.
Luckily for you, Spock was not walking down the opposite sidewalk so you slid your headphones under your hood over your ears and shuffled your playlist. The walk was much shorter than you would’ve preferred and you sauntered up the steps into the vast hall. Since everybody was off, the library was used more as a hangout area than a quiet study hall, save for the actual study hall in the back, so it was a bit louder than usual.
You spotted Spock sitting at one of the smaller open tables next to one of the windows overlooking the grounds. The fluttery-anxious feeling was back again, causing you to swallow hard as you approached him.
“Hey,” you called as he looked up from the window.
“Hey,” he greeted, somewhat awkwardly. Setting your backpack down, you sat down across from him. He was wearing casual clothes too; a plain green sweater and some jeans, though you thought it was cute how he still wore his badge. You shut your eyes tightly and cursed yourself.
I don’t think he looks cute, I don’t think he looks cute, I don’t think he looks cute-
“[y/n], are you feeling alright?” he asked.
You opened your eyes and glared at him.
“Fine, just mentally preparing,” you snapped.
He did what you could only assume was his version of an eye roll, but what surprised you was the flicker of a smile that passed over his features. It was only there for a fraction of a second, but your cheeks reddened as your heart raced.
What is happening to me?
“Would you like to begin?” he started pulling out papers and you gulped.
This was going to be a long day.
Surprisingly, that wasn’t the case. You had never really sat down and talked with Spock before, and to your astonishment, he was a really cool person. You both talked for hours, barely getting any work done, and before you knew it the library was empty and it was almost nine pm. You packed up your things and headed back towards your dorms you continued to talk and he continued to make you laugh and once you made it to the front entrance of your building you couldn’t even remember why you had hated him in the first place.
You smiled and told him goodnight, feeling the heat creep up on your cheeks. You swore that you saw his own cheeks tint green. You both stared back at each other for a moment, feeling yourself gravitate towards each other for a brief second before you realized what you were doing and leaned back a little. He bid you goodnight and with the tiniest little smile you had ever seen, he turned away and crossed the street. You shook yourself out of your daze and hurried inside, texting your friends to meet you asap in your dorm. Even though it was late, you knew your friends and their Saturday night habits.
You asked them about Spock again, this time a little less aggressively. They looked shocked at your calm, almost lovestruck expression settled over your features, glancing worriedly between themselves.
Your friends were there for hours talking with you about your feelings and how you were to deal with them until you all fell asleep. They told you that this was just a case of misinterpretation of feelings, so when you felt so strongly towards Spock you mistook it for hatred when it was really admiration and infatuation. The confirmed that the same thing had happened to Spock, though he had realized much sooner. When you asked them what that meant, they dropped the bombshell on you.
“[y/n],” [friend’s name] said gently. “Spock has been smitten with you since midterms. Almost everyone knows, except for you apparently.”
You sat and stared for a minute, unsure how to react. Giddiness rose above all the other emotions you were feeling, forcing a smile to form on your lips. You felt all choked up, excitement raising your heartrate and slowly taking away your ability to breathe.
“So, even the teachers know?” you managed to force out. Your friends chuckled.
The teachers assumed something was going on, but didn’t know for sure since you acted so hostile towards him all the time so they went out of their way to pair you and Spock together.
You thanked your friends and invited them to stay the night.
The next day you had planned to work with Spock again, so you left your friends a note and told them they could stay as long as they liked as long as they locked the door before they left.
You met Spock at the library again but this time you actually did get some work done, and quickly. When you both finished, you packed your things and took a walk around the grounds. You talked all day about random things, interests, favorites, childhood (you tried your best to leave out the part about your father) and a little bit about your hopes for the future. You did most of the talking, though Spock did contribute on occasion, like he talked a bit about his love (or as he put it, ‘subtle interest’ but you knew better) for music and his passion for science.
Hours passed quickly and the sunset came quickly. You and Spock were sat on a grassy slope overlooking the San Fransisco Bay, watching the sunset.
“[y/n], I have something to confess,” he broke the silence. You turned to him.
“Go ahead.”
“The truth of the matter is that I harbor no malice or hatred towards you,” he started, looking away from you. Even in the dim golden light from the descending sun, you could tell he was uncomfortable. “My... feelings towards you are quite the opposite.”
You stared blankly at him for a moment. Even though you had already known, hearing it come from his was a totally different story. You scooted a little closer to him and placed your head down on his shoulder. He relaxed beneath you, accepting the action as one of reciprocation. You felt his hand brush over yours and the spark that followed after confirmed a Vulcan kiss. You raised your head up to meet his eyes, which flickered between your lips and back up. You leaned in slowly to give him time to back out if he wasn’t comfortable, but to your surprise, he was the one to close the distance.
This kiss was sweet and only lasted a few seconds. When you pulled away, you could see the tiniest hint of a smile on his lips. Your smile faded, though, when you remembered your lie.
“I have to tell you something,” you said softly. He nodded slowly, letting you remove your hand from his light hold.
You pulled your hood back and tucked your hair behind your now exposed ear. You couldn’t look him in the eye as he stared at your earring-ridden ear that mirrored his.
“You’re... Vulcan?”
“A quarter,” you replied softly, wringing your hands in your lap. Spock reached out to grasp them in his own, forcing you to look back up into his eyes.
“Why did you feel the need to hide this from me?” he asked you gently. “It would not and does not change the effect that you have on me.”
So, you explained in the waning sunlight what actually happened in your childhood and the issues with your father, why you ended up hating all Vulcans and that’s why you hated him too in the beginning.
“You don’t need to be ashamed of your heritage because of him,” he told you when you finished. “You don’t need to hide part of who you are because of his mistakes. I can assist you in exploring our culture to help change your views if you would like.”
You threw your arms around his neck in a tight hug.
“Thank you,” you murmured.
_____________
You and Spock stayed together for the remaining years at the academy. You brought him home to meet your mother (who instantly approved) and you did almost everything together. Date night was your favorite time of the week, which ranged from movie nights or fancy dinners. Your favorite one was when he took you out of the city to go stargazing and set up the cutest little picnic complete with lanterns and fairy lights. It was romantic and beautiful being there with him and listening to the wildlife as the stars made themselves known. He showed you all the constellations he knew of.
Before you knew it you were both assigned on missions. At first, you were separated; you on the USS Bradbury and him on the USS Enterprise, but with some convincing, you were reassigned to the Enterprise.
After your first run-in with danger when Nero attacked and your near-death experience, Spock decided it was time to pop the question. You were married not long after by Jim, who you had gotten very close to because of Spock. You had asked Nyota to be your maid of honor and Spock chose Leonard (who agreed despite his recurring annoyance with the Vulcan). You were awarded a larger, shared quarters and time off duty to spend time together.
Married life was much more normal than you had originally thought it was going to be. Everything just started to slow down around you, and you always had a sense of calm whenever Spock was near you. The butterflies you always felt when he was around died down and instead you felt an overwhelming amount of safety and comfort.
He was all you had ever wanted, and he was forever yours.