Author’s Note♡:Hi! Thank you for giving this story a chance. This fic is inspired by the emotional atmosphere of one of my favorite songs, but it isn’t based on the lyrics word for word.This story explores trust, vulnerability, healing, and what it feels like to finally be seen after years of carrying pain alone. Please be kind in the comments, and as always, take care of yourselves while reading.🖤
TW: This story contains themes of trauma, bullying, emotional distress, unhealthy past experiences, panic responses, and references to past abuse.Please read with care,love🖤
Listen to these while reading 🖤
Oscar Diaz wasn’t known for being nice.Everyone in Freeridge knew that.If Spooky looked your way,you looked away first.If he spoke,you listened.If he was angry,you left.You’d heard enough stories to know better.
Unfortunately,you had a habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
You pushed open the door to the corner store,a paper bag tucked against your chest.Your headphones rested over your ears,the music just loud enough to drown out the world.
You weren’t paying attention.
Neither was he.
Your shoulder slammed into someone’s chest.The force sent the bag slipping from your hands,groceries rolling across the sidewalk.
Your heart stopped.
“Oh my God…I’m so sorry.”
You dropped to your knees,frantically gathering everything before even looking up.
A pair of black boots stopped in front of you.
“…Seriously?”
Your hands froze.
That voice.
Slowly,you looked up.
Oscar Diaz.
His expression was unreadable.
“You blind or something?”
“I…I’m sorry.”
“You already said that.”
You quickly grabbed the last can from the pavement.
“I wasn’t looking.”
“No shit.”
Heat crawled up your neck.
“I’m sorry.”
Again.
Oscar stared at you.
“You apologize a lot.”
You lowered your head.
“…Sorry.”
He scoffed.
“Whatever.”
He stepped around you without another glance.
You stayed crouched on the sidewalk until he disappeared.
Your hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
It wasn’t because of him.
It never was.
He just reminded you of people who used to look at you the same way.
•••
A few days later,it happened again.
You were leaving Ruby’s house after dropping off a notebook he’d forgotten for school when you accidentally walked past the Santos’ corner.
Oscar leaned against the wall,cigarette resting between his fingers.
You immediately looked down.
Wrong place.
Again.
You tried slipping past unnoticed.
Your shoulder brushed his.
Barely.
“…Sorry.”
Oscar looked at you.
“You even know what you’re apologizing for?”
You blinked.
“I…”
“You bumped into me?”
“I guess.”
“You guess?”
Your fingers tightened around your backpack strap.
“…I’m sorry.”
Oscar frowned.
Something wasn’t right.
You weren’t scared of him.
You were scared of…everyone.
Before he could say anything,Cesar walked outside.
He looked between the two of you.
“Oh…”
Oscar glanced at him.
“You know her?”
Cesar nodded.
“Yeah.”
“What’s with all the apologizing!?!?”
Cesar’s expression immediately changed.
“Damn…”
“What?”
“You don’t know?”
Oscar crossed his arms.
“Know what?”
Cesar looked over at you as you hurried away,head down,walking faster than before.
“Leave it.”
“I’m asking.”
Cesar sighed.
“Back in high school…”
Oscar waited.
“They made her life hell.”
His jaw tightened.
“What happened?”
“They bullied her for years.”
Silence.
“They’d shove her into lockers.”
Oscar looked toward the street where you’d disappeared.
“They’d lock her in classrooms after everyone left.”
Another silence.
“They cut her hair once.”
Oscar’s eyes narrowed.
“They’d throw food at her.”
“They’d tell everybody she was crazy.”
“They’d laugh whenever she cried.”
Cesar looked down.
“Eventually she just…started apologizing for existing.”
Oscar didn’t say a word.
He lit another cigarette instead.
The lighter clicked shut.
Smoke filled the air.
“…Shit.”
It was the only word he managed.
From that day on…
He started noticing.
You apologized when someone held the door open.
You apologized when the cashier handed you your change.
You apologized when somebody stepped on your shoe.
Even when none of it was your fault.
And for some reason…
Oscar couldn’t stop thinking about you.
—
Oscar couldn’t get you out of his head.
For days he’d catch himself looking for you without meaning to.
Outside the corner store.
Walking home from work.
Crossing the street with your head down and your backpack clutched tightly against your shoulder.
Every time…
You looked like you were waiting for someone to yell at you.
It pissed him off.
One evening,the Santos garage was quieter than usual.Most of the guys had already left.Cesar sat on an old couch,scrolling through his phone while Oscar leaned against the workbench,absently spinning a wrench between his fingers.
“There she goes.”
Oscar looked up.
You walked past the open garage,eyes fixed on the sidewalk.
“C’mere.”
You stopped immediately.
Your shoulders tensed.
Slowly,you turned around.
“…Me?”
“Yeah.You.”
You hesitated before taking a few careful steps toward the garage,stopping just outside.
“You ain’t gotta stand all the way over there.”
You glanced around nervously.
“I don’t wanna bother you.”
“You ain’t.”
Silence.
“You always listen this good?”
A tiny shrug.
“I guess.”
Oscar motioned toward an old folding chair.
“Sit.”
You looked at it,then back at him.
“You sure?”
He sighed.
“There you go again.”
“…Sorry.”
Oscar rubbed a hand over his face.
“I wasn’t telling you off.”
“I know.”
“No,you don’t.”
You looked down.
He grabbed a bottle of water from the mini fridge and held it out.
You stared at it like he was handing you something expensive.
“…For me?”
Oscar almost laughed.
“Yeah.For you.”
You accepted it carefully.
“Thank you.”
He leaned back against the workbench.
“So…”
“So?”
“What’s your name?”
You blinked.
“You…don’t know?”
“If I did,I wouldn’t be asking.”
You quietly told him.He repeated your name once,testing it.
“It suits you.”
Your cheeks warmed.Nobody had ever said that before.
“So…”
He crossed his arms.
“You always walk around looking like somebody’s about to yell at you?”
You looked down at the unopened water bottle.
“…Sometimes they do.”
Oscar’s jaw tightened.
“And today?”
“…Habit.”
Silence settled between you.
He noticed how you kept picking at the label on the bottle.
How your foot bounced against the concrete.
How you jumped when someone laughed outside.
“You don’t gotta be nervous here.”
Your eyes slowly lifted to meet his.
“I know who you are.”
“So?”
“You’ve got a reputation.”
A corner of his mouth lifted.
“That scare you?”
You thought about it.
“…It did.”
“And now?”
You looked at him for a long moment.
“…Not as much.”
Something about that answer made him smile.A real one.Small,but real.
“There she is.”
You laughed before you could stop yourself.The sound echoed through the garage.Oscar noticed the way you immediately covered your mouth.
“…Sorry.”
His smile disappeared.
He stepped closer,stopping in front of you.
“I’m gonna tell you something.”
You nodded.
“I don’t wanna hear you apologize unless you actually did something wrong.”
Your fingers tightened around the bottle “I…”
“You laughed.”
He shrugged.
“That’s allowed.”
You felt tears sting your eyes.Nobody had ever said something so simple…And made it sound so believable.Oscar noticed.He didn’t ask why.He just reached into the mini fridge again.
Summary: You’re Rubys older sister and have always been close with Oscar growing up, but over the years you can’t deny how you’ve fallen for him, even though he’s a gang leader now you can’t help but crave him
This will be a series! If you wanna be tagged lmk!
“Come on Ruby mom wants me to walk you to school” he comes out of his room groaning
“I’m in highschool now I don’t need you to escort me anymore”
“I know but you know how she worries, especially with the prophets ramping up now” we walk outside and the morning California sun beams down on us and I’ll never get sick of it, I always knew this was my home, where I’m suppose to be
As we walk down the street Monse catch’s up with us and they both get to talking, lots of people hated these streets but I never really had to worry, from a young age I was always around Oscar or Spooky how most people know him by
He got into the Santos gang but that never bothered me much, I knew it would happen and he never treated me differently once he was initiated, and my god he was easy on the eyes but I’d never tell anyone that because he definitely doesn’t see me like that after all these years
I shake my head trying to rid those feelings when we finally get to Caesars house, he comes walking out of the house with his backpack slung over one shoulder
“Hey kid, how’re you doing?” I ask, since Oscar’s been locked up I worried about him, he’s just a kid still and wanted to be there for him when I can, or when he’d let me, he was very strong willed like his brother
“Good now that Oscar’s back” my heart dropped and exploded at the same time, and in that moment the guy who’s had my knees weak for years came out of the house, grey tee, his signature gold cross necklace and black short, and of course that scowl that made me wanna drop my panties
“Hola Chiquita, ya miss me?” He smirks
Everything around me doesn’t matter in this moment, I run to him and jump in his arms squeezing him tight, of course I visited him in prison but it doesn’t compare to having him out
“Imma take that as a yes” he laughs
“When did you get out?! Why didn’t you call” I say excited as I pull back placing my hands on his cheeks not believing he’s really here, tracing over his teardrop tattoo
His expression softens almost unnoticeably but not to me as his hands squeeze my hips
“Well believe it chica, I’m your day one, told ya when they were locking me up I’d be back” I squeak like a little kid excited seeing candy
Meanwhile I hear the little chatter of the kids behind us
“Uuhhhh are they together or something? Oscar doesn’t let anyone get that close without glaring them down like a bull dog” monse asks
“Nah they’ve just been really close since they were young and with him being in jail I could tell she really missed him” Ruby adds
“Well I gotta get these kids to school before heading to the diner for my shift” I say taking one step back suddenly getting flustered at how touchy I was being all over him
“Mom still got ya looking out for them?”
“Yeah she’s worried and I don’t have the heart to say no, but if something did happens it’s not like there’s much I could do anyways” I huff never understanding why mom put so much faith in me protecting Ruby from the dangers of the streets
“I got you mamacita, hey we’re having a party tonight here with the gang, would love to see ya there” my cheeks flush red and he smirks more I know that bastard loves working me up
“Yeah I’ll be there, I’ll see you later Oscar” he places his hand on my waist and places a kiss on my cheek, god was he trying to kill me?!
“Bye chica” I walk back to the kids and start down the sidewalk towards the school
“Holy shit girl you’re down bad for him” Monse laughs
“WHAT? No im not he’s my closest friend that would never happen”
“Yeahhhhh sure” Caesar chimes in and for the rest of the walk they talk amongst themselves while all I can think about is the feeling of his touch on my waist
My shift at the diner ended and I couldn’t get home fast enough to start getting ready
I freshened up my makeup and added some more touches like lipgloss and some blush, putting in some hoop earrings and straightening my hair to get that more sleek look
But once that was done it was like hell trying to find the right outfit, I huffed pulling out every piece of clothing from my closet throwing them on the bed
“Chica was is with all the racket in here?” Mom asks as she opens the door to see the messy state of my room
“Mom I can’t find an outfit good enough for this party” I sigh flopping down on my bed
“Oh come on you have more than enough clothes, is this really not finding anything or about impressing someone?” I sit up fast
“What’re you trying to imply”
“Oh come on I’m your mom you don’t think I see the way you act and talk about spooky” I look away, could everyone read my feelings like an open book? Was it painfully embarrassingly obvious to Oscar?
Mom starts rummaging through my clothes trying to help pick an outfit and she finally settles on a pair of cuffed dark blue jean shorts that were pretty short and a long sleeve baby blue shirt
“It’s pretty plain” I say as I put them on even though they really accentuated all the right spots
“Yes but it’s all about accessorizing, here these gold earrings are better than those hoops” she handed me smaller thicker hoops, then going through my jewelry box she gave me my dainty gold cross necklace that Oscar gave me last year for my birthday, then some cute rings
“See you look like a pretty flower, and for the last step…..perfume!” She took my signature perfume from my vanity and sprayed it all over me till I was going to basically turn everyone’s head the second I stepped into the party, hopefully in a good way with how much she sprayed
“You’re all set!” She smiled behind me as I looked at myself in the mirror
“Okay im ready” I pull on my low top white converse that were basically worn down to the bone with how often I wear them
“Have fun chica, BUT NOT TOO MUCH” mom states while abuela winks at me from the couch making me laugh
I stood infront of the house that was basically my second home at this point but why was I so nervous, I’ve never been this nervous before to see him
I took a deep breath and walked into the backyard where the music was booming and the drinks were flowing, the gang always knowing how to have a good time
I didn’t even know where to go, I didn’t wanna just jump into someone’s convo I really wasn’t overly close with a lot of the gang, sure we knew eachother but more as acquaintances and not friends
Before I could stand around awkwardly any longer I feel his presence behind me, smell that familiar cologne I’ve grown fond of
“You’re finally here angel” he whispers in my ear, his deep voice sending shivers through my body
“Yeah had some wardrobe problems” he looks me up and down
“Ya look like a fine ass hyna to me”
“Oh yeah? And who’s hyna would I be Spooky”
“Hmmmm maybe we’ll see by the end of the night” I didn’t wanna take his words too seriously incase they weren’t real and more just playful flirting
“Come on let’s get you a drink and me a smoke” I say dragging him to the liquor table, I pour him a whiskey and then we go and sit on the couch that’s not as destroyed as some of the other seats out here
He lit me a cigarette and I curled up next to him, it’s become our usual position when we’re next to eachother
I took a drag and and sighed missing this
“I really did miss you you know, life just wasn’t the same without you here” his hand on my thigh rubs up and down soothingly
“Missed you too y/n….just don’t tell the gang, can’t have them think I’m going soft” I look at him and seeing that usual smirk
“Promise, as long as I get my time with you like before then your soft side stays between us”
“Oh trust me if it’s us there is no soft on my side” my jaw drops and I swat at his chest
“What are you still getting flustered over the things I say after all this time” I teases
“Ugh shut up you know I am that’s why you like doing it” I say blowing smoke in his face
God I missed him
The party died down only a few straggler gang members left talking in the back yard, I helped clean up some of the mess before Oscar took me inside so it was just the two of us
“You gonna stay tonight?” He asks as he strips out of his plaid
“Do you want me to?” He didn’t have to say anything and just gave me that look and I knew that was a yes
I shake my head smiling as I walk up stairs giggling as he smacks my ass chasing me up, I throw myself on the bed and he throws me one of his plain shirts I strip out of my shirt and shorts and pull on his shirt that came to my mid thigh, way bigger on me than him
He pulls on baggy shorts and gets into bed and I’m quick to cover up next to him
“Sooooo got your eyes on any hynas now that you’re out?” I ask as I face him
“Don’t know, why you asking?” He asks his voice extra gravelly
“I don’t know it’s just…..just wanna know how you’re doing I guess” I lie, I wish I could tell him the real reason why I asked, wanting to know he didn’t have anyone in his horizon because that would crush me
“What ‘bout you mami? Got yerself a man yet?” I roll my eyes at that
“You know I don’t papi, these guys around here ain’t got eyes for me, they want someone who’s gonna give it up easily” I groan, all the guys here have tried hitting on me but once I realized that all they wanted was my body then I shut it down, sure it might be fun but I’m just not that kind of girl
“Hmm that is rare round here, tell me though have you ever been touched, anyone ever made you feel good mami?” His eyes grew darker and my heart was pounding, we’ve flirted but nothing this intimate feeling
“I…..no” I say embarrassed, I know Oscar had been with girls before I mean they all basically wanted him
“You saving yourself or something?” His hands comes back to my hip pushing up the shirt so he’s tracing my lace panties making my breath hitch
“Maybe, but I don’t know if he’d really want me like I’ve been craving him for years” I don’t know what came over me but all this tension from the years of wanting him is building up to this very moment
My fingers come to the cross tattoo on his neck as I move closer
“Who is it?” His hand grips me tight and I could see his scowl growing like I was talking about sad eyes or something
“It’s you”
Part.2
First part done!! How’re we feeling about it this is my first story about Oscar so lmk!! More to come;)
Summary: In order to be kept safe from prophets you move in with Spooky. Adult themes, Smut 18+
Word Count: 6.3K
p.s: Don't take this too serious; I just love on my block and I'm trying to get back into writing.
“You’re probably gonna think that she’s a little annoying… and she is. There’s nothing you can do about it, in the fifteen years that I’ve known her she hasn’t stopped being annoying. Growing up I’d always told her she needed to be more mellow. More like me but it just isn’t how she is.” Spooky squinted as Jamal took another deep breath to continue on talking about how annoying his sister was. He could only hope that the two were nothing alike considering you were supposed to be under his protection now.
Spooky couldn’t believe he kept getting himself in situations with these little kids his brother ran around with. “I know we made a deal, Mijo but it didn’t include all this talking.” Jamal took a step back looking visibly offended, getting ready to make a big deal.
“I was just making sure you understood the plan.” And because he couldn’t help himself, he added on. “So just make sure you watch over her, so the prophets can’t get to her. They need to think she’s claimed BUT in her presence don’t use that term because she is annoyingly feminist.”
“Where is she?” Spooky interrupts, not wanting to give him a reason to continue on. “She’s at home right now. I sortaaa …locked her in the closet so you might want to get a move on that she’s gonna be seriously cranky.”
Spooky pinches the bridge of his nose aggravation taking over his senses.
****
Quiet. That’s what you had been from the moment you’d been fetched from the closet and forced to pack a bag to stay at Spooky’s. He heard you mumbling to yourself in irritation as you packed, only being able to make out tidbits here and there. “A fucking college student…. Sent off to live with a fucking gang because that’s safe. “ Multiple eyerolls as you threw your things into your bag.
Spooky didn’t see many similarities between you Jamal, he just wondered how that squirrelly kid could be related to you. You were fine.Like real fine. Glossy lips, manicured hands and an attitude. Spooky didn’t mix business with pleasure though, and apparently you had a skillset he could use while he had you.
The room he showed you was nothing like the pink frilly room he’d just taken you away from, but despite the pout making its way onto your face you said nothing about it. “I’m gonna lay down some ground rules. Don’t leave without me or another Santo. Don’t post your location, let me know anything critical that happens. Comprende?”
“ ‘kay anything else?”
“Yeah. Lose the attitude.” The look you give him could kill all his men. “Excuse me if I’m slightly discombobulated from being locked in a closet then forced to go to some random gang member's house. Just because some random ass prophets decided they didn’t like my brothers little friend and wanted to fucking sex traffic or rape or I don’t fucking know what to me.” You take a deep breath afterwards trying to rein in your frustration. “Sorry for my outburst.”
Spooky couldn’t stop himself from laughing a little, which made you quirk your eyebrow at him. “Now I see how you and Jamal are related.”
****
You hadn’t snuck out since you were in high school, you had no reason to but now that you were under Spooky’s ‘care’ you could barely do anything you wanted. You missed your friends and you didn’t even think he’d notice you were gone. You spent most of your time in Spooky’s house in that room with a Santo posted outside your door.
The pool was supposed to be a beef free zone so you thought you’d be safe. Spooky found you way sooner than you were hoping. Displeased was the only way to describe the look on his face. “Let’s go.” Your friends side eyed you as the man you told them nothing about made you leave with nothing but a stern look and two words. He didn’t say anything as you gathered your things and said your goodbyes. Not even when your friend insinuated that you were smashing him because you didn’t really feel like explaining that your life was actually in grave danger that you made worse to meet them at the pool.
The entire ride back was silent with you sitting in the back seat and sad eyes and him in the front. Well it was silent until he parked in front of his house. “Do you want to die?” When you took too long to answer he asked again. “Huh?” His tone, rough.
“Well, no.” He’s only looking at you through the rearview mirror even though he’s not driving and he is fully capable of turning around.
“You must want to. Or at least for something bad to happen. You’re so worried about the Prophets but you’re running around fully visible at the pool in a tiny fucking bathing suit.” The pout is back and he has to look away.
“Stop yelling at me.” Spooky laughs but it’s obvious he doesn’t find anything funny. “I spent all day looking for your little ass and you…” He trails off pinching the bridge of his nose. Sad eyes gives him a look only they both seem to understand.
“Go in the house.” He only has to tell you once before you get out, slamming the door in the process. You were a grown ass woman, you could leave the house whenever you damn well please. You didn’t deserve to get yelled at by some man you barely know or stalked by fucking Prophets over shit your bad ass little brother was doing.
Multiple Santos gathered around the door as you threw your things into your bag. You knew they were Spooky’s most trusted but that’s all you knew about them. Besides Sad eyes and occasionally Spooky you didn’t really talk to anyone while you were there.
“You’re making my guys antsy.” You hear after a few footsteps and the click of the door closing. You shrug. “I’ll be out the way soon.”
‘Where you gonna go?” You’re irritated with his returned calm demeanor, making you look crazy and irrational.
“Home.”
“You can’t go home.” You never respond, you just continue to pack your bag. He comes closer removing the bag from your hands and when you still don’t look at him he tilts your chin so that you meet his eyes. “I’m sorry, I yelled.” You huff irritated that he’s winning at being the bigger person.
“Sorry I left.” You mumble. You miss the way he smirks a little,and how pleased with making you give up.
“Let’s have better days, okay?” He tells you as he swaggers out the room.
*******
“Your brother said you have a skillset that I can use.” You look at the crusty ass computer he set in front of you in disgust. “Not on that I don’t.” He and five of his guys are watching you grab a bag you were keeping under the bed.
They continued watching you with intrigue as you pulled out a very expensive looking computer set up. “If you try to hack something on that you’ll be caught immediately.” You pause to slide your glasses on your face. “You probably wouldn’t even get through.”
“We aren’t trying to learn, just do it for us.” One random guy who you’ve seen around but haven’t bothered to learn his name says. “Rude.” You roll your eyes.
“Well what am I doing, exactly?” You look at Spooky who’d just been watching you quietly. “I need you to get into the police database and erase the serial numbers connected to this.” Unzipping the bag you watch as stacks of cash are revealed.Confusion sits on your features. “They cleaned that money though.”
“No questions, bitch.” Your head snapped around at the same time Spooky’s did. “Outside.” Was all he said to the asshole you got to know as joker. And yeah he was a fucking joke. You take a deep breath as the other men follow behind him Sad eyes patting your shoulder as they go. He stays with you and Spooky.
“I hate your fucking friends. Or family whatever.” You mumble. As you type away on your computer. Spooky ignores you, leaning over as you type. You take a deep breath but you’re immediately met with his cologne and the smell of smoke. Panic washes over you when you realize how good he smells. You wish you had grabbed your freaking vibrator and it wasn’t exactly something you could tell your brother to bring you.
“You’re crowding me. I need space to work.” You shooed him away. “High maintenance like your hermano.” He says backing up, but his hand grazes your back and you know you’re cooked then. You wonder if you’re ovulating to be this hypersensitive to everything he does. It’s no secret he’s fine, but pursuing that wouldn’t be the smartest thing to do.
You try not to think about it and remind yourself that despite being fine, he’s a gang member. He’s bossy, and you’re pretty sure he’s a whore just because he’s fine. Though that goes out the window when he’s leaning back over you. “What’s taking so long?”
“Are you in a rush?” And then because you can’t help yourself. “It’s not like I need your help.”
Sad eyes intervened quickly, when he saw how Spooky looked at you. “Don’t start. Be nice.” Pleased to get a reaction out of him, you didn’t say much else.
“Sorry. All done though.” You gasp in audacity as you watch Spooky look over your computer, still leaning crazy close to you. “There’s no way you’re checking my work right now.”
“Just making sure you know what you’re doing.” You watched as he clicked on meaningless things on your screen.
“Well you obviously don’t.” You pop his hand when he continues to click icons on the screen. “Did you just pop me?” Sad eyes laughs behind you, as the two of you make eye contact.
The door slams before you can say anything. “The prophets just rolled up asking about her, what you wanna do?” Joker says, panic flurries in you, the smokescreen in your head no longer allowing you your false sense of security.
****
“What did we talk about?” Spooky says low in your ear. The rumble of his voice is like a car engine. “I’ve stayed close to you.” You’re lying a little considering every time you see one of your friends you wander off and you know Spooky is losing his patience with you. But the block party is the first time you’ve been able to actually socialize since the pool.
‘Closer. The whole point of us being out here is for it to look like you’re my hyna. The prophets aren’t going to end the truce over you.” You nod until a friend of yours is walking up to you and after a few moments of talking she says come look at something and you’re moments away from running off again, until you’re faced with that stern look he’s giving you. When she’s off after whatever lame ass excuse you give her, you turn back to Spooky.
“People are going to think I’m in a abusive relationship if I can only stay in this spot and I’m not allowed to socialize.”
He pulls you closer to him, by your waist and you have to remind yourself he doesn’t mean it. “No, they're going to think you’re a good girlfriend, sitting pretty for her man while he’s on the grill.” The timbre of his deep voice sends a flush through your entire body. “Right?”
“Yeah everyone’s totally going to think you’re in the bone zone, so you just want to stick near him. No one will question it.” You jump away from him at the sound of Ruby’s voice. He was accompanied of course by your little brother and the rest of their crew.
“Yes, now big spooky, not to be confused with the little one. Keep your paws off my sister.” You watch as he takes a breath and you already know he’s about to tell you something he’s done.
“What did you do, shithead?” Jamal puts his hand over his heart acting scandalized for a moment. “I’m actually touched you know me so well. I actually entered the two of you into a cutest couples contest so I need you to make your best pose….” He points his phone camera at the two of you like an older mom. “Okay Spooky stop looking so intensely at the camera. It’s not really giving in love.” He frowned as he looked at the picture he took of the two of you looking very disgruntled.
“That’s okay I took one of them when we were walking up. You know I keep the receipts boo.” Jasmine tells him, showing all of you a picture with Spooky's arm wrapped around your waist. It looked surprisingly intimate. Maybe how it felt,, in the moment but not what you were expecting.
“That’s creepy.” You tell her, but it’s no use. It goes in one ear and out the other and you know their planning to go cause more trouble as they walk away.
“Your brother and his friends are weird.”
“You mean like your brother and his friends.” You remind him.
“Cesar isn’t that weird.” You look over to where he’s motioning to Jamal. “No one is that weird.” You smile but it’s fond. You love your weirdo little brother.
****
You’d gotten to the point of the night where you’d had too many drinks and not enough food. It was hard to keep eyes off of you because by the end of the night you’d made so many friends. “Mami come here.” Spooky called, he scooped you into his open lap easily, sad eyes handing him a plate.
“Open.” You look at the assortment of food on his plate. “Are you trying to sober me up?” Your head finds his shoulder as you suddenly feel sleepy. “Mhm. Open.”
“I don’t like that.” You say pushing the fork away.
“I made it, you'll like it. Now open.” Too sleepy to fight with him you did as he said watching everyone dance. You make a content little sigh as you chew.
“Good?” You hum in agreement.
‘You sleepy now? After causing me trouble all day.” He knows you are because you do what Cesar used to do back in the day when he was about to fall asleep, rubbing his arm for comfort.
“I did not cause you any trouble.” You disagree and Spooky laughs. “We had a good day.”
“Yeah we did.” The two of you sit in silence while you let him feed you and force you to drink water. For a while you’re in the crook of his neck falling asleep until you feel yourself being lifted. “We’re out.” Is all you hear.
When you wake up again it’s morning. The sun cascades across you as you feel the aftershocks of the night you had. Your head was absolutely pounding. You find yourself going through the motions of the morning like a zombie.
You knew you had a bunch of schoolwork waiting for you.Spooky’s house was finally empty, so you found yourself in the living room. He emerged from his room much later than you, surprised to see you in the living room instead of hiding away. You had papers spread out all around you, with your glasses on and the tiniest fucking shorts to ever exist. Spooky could admit he looked for a while before finally turned his head. He knew you didn’t hear him come out. You had a habit of turning your music up way too loud in your ears, you would be deaf by the time you were thirty.
Tapping your leg, to get your attention and watching you jump made him laugh a little. ‘Did you eat?”
You shook your head thinking about how queasy you would feel if you ate after the drinking you did. “I’m not hungry.”
“Don’t make me force feed you again.” He raised his eyebrow at you waiting for you to challenge him. “I’ll eat later, I swear.” He leaves you alone after that, letting you continue to study while watching tv beside you, after he cooked and made it clear the plate in the microwave was for you.
After a few hours of comfortable silence there was a sturdy knock at his door. Spooky answers it on guard, obviously not expecting anyone. Your spine straightens in panic but you try not to give way to your nervousness. When Spooky visibility relaxes you do as well. You try to strain your ears as you listen to the hushed conversation Spooky is having but it’s no use.
When he comes back in you try not to look as nosy as you were being. “I gotta go handle something. Sad eyes is gonna stay here with you.” He looked like he meant business so you didn’t question him, not that you ever really did. “Put on some pants, princesa.” You roll your eyes at that, but you find yourself going to do so anyway.
***
“Do you need a lesson on what not to do when the block is hot?” Spooky was yelling, this time not at you but instead at his little brother. “You can’t run around Prophet territories when you know we have something they want.”
“Someone.” You mutter, under your breath. Spooky ignores you to continue staring his brother down.
“Aren’t we in a truce?” Cesar asks, which was obviously the wrong question.
“Carnalito don’t be so naive. That truce is on the edge of breaking. I don’t need you running around making things worse.” It was news to you that the truce was on the verge of breaking. For the rest of the day you were in a panic, every noise frightening you.
It was no surprise that when you finally fell asleep you awoke in the middle of the night in a panic. Well maybe Spooky was surprised when you opened his door considering he woke up out of his sleep to point a gun at you. It was back down the moment he saw it was you though. You didn’t have the energy to say much as you climbed on his bed. He’s half asleep but you can tell he’s amused .He’s surprised when you cuddle into him making yourself comfortable.
“You good?” You nod, already moments away from sleep again, but before you pass out you feel him press a kiss to your forehead.
****
It was no secret that you and Spooky were falling into domestic patterns. He cooked, you would clean. Sit too close together even though there were a million open seats. Also you liked to make Spooky laugh, you learned quickly that he found humor in almost everything so it was easy to do.
You had become friends. Except maybe you were more considering he’d place little kisses on you whenever he got the chance. On your shoulder blade while you were washing dishes. On your forehead, your arm. You wondered if he was trying to confuse you or if you were just acting confused.
“Hey baby.” You hear from across the aisle. Your stomach drops at the sight of your ex boyfriend. You’re floundered in surprise at the sight of him in all green. “Terell, you banging now?” Disappointment flies out of your tone, when you think of the bright future he had ahead of him.
“I’ve been hearing that’s what you like these days. Where your mans at?” LIke he was summoned Spooky was standing behind you.
“I’m right here.’ There a problem?” Spooky’s presence seemed to knock him back some but not enough. “Nah ain’t no problem. Just wanting to see if she was ready to roll with a real one again.” Spooky’s emerging forward and you quickly pull his shirt back, not wanting to be in the middle of a fight in the grocery store.
“Spooky, let’s go.” You’ll pull him back while Terell laughs and he lets you. “We’ll handle this in the streets homie.” Spooky warns him. Your heart sank, that officially ends the truce.
“Why would you do that?” You ask panicked, when the two of you finally got in the car.
“You know why.” The two of you lock eyes and another moment of unspoken tension passes between the two of you before he pulls off.
*****
“What the hell is this shit.” Spooky, Sad eyes, and Cesar were the only Santos left in Spookys house after they had a ‘meeting’ about the grocery incident. You were unsure of what conclusion they came to since Spooky was keeping it from you but at the moment you didn’t really want to know anyway.
“It’s a face mask, duh.” Sad eyes had let you do him first and Cesar gladly participated, Spooky was not as into it. “I’m not putting that shit on my face.”
“Yes you are, it's good for you. Your skin will glow.” You’re getting closer to him trying to be slick.
“My skin doesn’t already glow?” Spooky can barely fake being offended.
“Please, Oscar.” It’s the first time he’s ever heard you say his name, and you look so cute pouting when you don’t get your way that he just sighs. “Fine.” He sips his beer, pulling you in between his legs with his other hand.
“Yayy.” You try to ignore the sudden butterflies as you apply it to his face, his hand resting on your hip for support as he looks up at you. The entire time he’s staring at you, you start to get more and more nervous.
“What?” Spooky has really pretty eyes and it was really unnerving to watch him look at you with such….admiration
“I can’t look at you?” Unbeknownst to the two of you, Sad eyes and Cesar were exchanging looks. The entirety of the will they won’t they game had the entire Santos making bets behind Spooky’s back.
“Nope.” You step away abruptly when you’re done trying to bring yourself back to reality even though you allowed yourself to linger too long on something that didn’t take very much time. He just laughs which aggravates you a little.
You’re surprised when they all sit the full fifteen minutes with the mask on their face. “Get this off my face princesa.” Sad eyes and Cesar peeled their masks on their own but after watching them be dramatic about how much it hurt Spooky wanted you to for it for him. You walk in the bathroom to find him with just a corner peeled.
“Your name's Spooky but you’re too scared to peel a face mask.” The pointed look he gives you makes you leave him alone going forward to help as he leaned against the bathroom counter so that you could get a better angle.
He grunts as you peel the first corner up. “Stop being a baby.” You finish in less than a minute running your hand over his slightly red face. “You’re never doing that shit again.” He’s nearly pouting about it. He let you run a warm washcloth over his face, and unable to help yourself you kissed him. You don’t know what comes over you but it’s quick, your lips barely touch his, still he smirks like he’s planning something.
“But now you’re glowing.” You try to act casual but he’s not having it. “I’ve been waiting on you to do something.”
“You’ve been waiting on me to make the first move?” You question not resisting as he starts to lean over you. “Not very macho of you.”
“Your brother said you were a feminist or some shit.” His hand at the base of your throat as he backed you against the open door. He kisses you leaning his whole body against yours. Your nerves were on fire as he overwhelmed your senses.
“You know what a fucking feminist is.” You roll your eyes despite the flush feeling in your cheeks and the fact that your head was swimming. Dizzying was the only way to describe the way he kissed you. Like he’d been waiting, like he was trying to swallow you whole.
****
“Stop being weird.” Spooky watches as you look around wondering who he was talking to.
“I’m being weird?” You knew you were being weird. He walks up behind you standing over your shoulder as you work on whatever on your computer.
“Yeah you keep running from me.” You purse your lips looking up at him. “I’m not running from you.”You stand up from your chair, admittedly you were planning on trying to get away from him. You’d thought about the situation and it was just not smart. It didn’t change the fact you wanted him though. He doesn’t let you get anywhere though, easily turning and sitting you on the table in front of him.
“Totally not sanitary to have my ass on your kitchen table.” You know he doesn’t care when his hands circle your hips and he steps between your legs. Jamal would absolutely have a fit about this. “Why’re you being weird?”
“I’m not…. You smell really good right now.” You bring your nose to his shirt. “No cigarettes.” He laughed as you pulled him closer, making his dimples peek out. “Yeah I didn’t feel like hearing your mouth about it.”
“Well they could kill you,and you smell really really good without them. Also you love hearing my mouth.” You pause for a moment wondering if that sounded dirty, but you didn’t think he was listening anyway.
“Give me a kiss, weirdo.” You place a peck on his lips. “A real kiss, princessa. If I can’t have my smokes I need you on my lips.” You smile despite yourself, pulling him into a deep kiss. He takes over five seconds in his hand finding your throat as he pulls you closer to him. He pulls away from your lips place a kiss on your neck. A soft gasp spills from your lips as his hand slips in your shorts.
“Oscar…” You’re embarrassed a little because you know you’re dripping, and you know he feels it with his smirking face placing a kiss in the crook of your neck. “Yeah?” He pulls back to look at your face as he slips a finger into you. “You’re tight, princessa. Gonna take me a while to stretch you open.”
You look back at the door worried. “No one is coming through that door, bebita.” He pulls your head to him, kissing you once more before making work of pulling your shorts down. “This is cute.”Kissing the bow on your panties. He sits in the chair that you had once been sitting in. Your underwear are shoved to the side before he’s licking up the center of you. The shuttering moan you let out makes Spooky shiver. He wouldn’t admit that though.
“Lay back.” You shake your head no at his demand. “I wanna see.” He has the damn smirk on his face again, but he doesn’t say anything. It’s not very long of watching him that your back does finally hit the table and you know he’s gonna tease you for that. You try to muffle your moans but he’s not having it. The rumble of his voice sending a vibration through your entire body. “I wanna hear you princesa.” You get lost in the sensations that you don’t even hear the door open.
“What the fuck?!” Your brother’s voice snaps you out of the trance you were in, immediately pulling you back to reality. You hop off the table pulling your shorts back on. “You never heard of knocking.” Spooky is the picture of calm as your brother stands there flabbergasted.
He says your full name in shock. “I did not raise you to be such a …” Spooky interrupts before he can finish. “Ay watch your mouth.” He tells him at the same time Jamal says. “Hussy.” You want to laugh but you know that will further aid his dramatics. “I’m worrying about you day and night and you’re in here getting thug love. Andddd… you would have heard me knocking if it wasn’t for your head in between her legs.”
“Jamal, calm down.” You say, even though you know better. Cesar is standing behind him in awkward silence but you both know that he’s going to drag it even more if he can’t be dramatic right now.
“Don’t tell me to calm down.” You look back at Oscar with a deadpan look. “No one is coming through the door,huh?” You have to turn away quickly when you see him lick his lips, a flush feeling coming over you.
“Is there a reason you barged in?” You ask wanting this humiliation ritual to be over. “I came here to tell you there’s been a development in your situation. I know that Spooky, the big one not the little one, is planning on fighting Terrell tonight which is so crazy considering he used to come to dinner but-“
“You’re doing what?” Your head whips around to find Spooky giving your brother a death glare, before he turns to look at you.
“We have to settle up, one way or another.”
“He’s going to fight dirty. And what does this even settle in the end?” The long look he gives you makes the out in your stomach take a deep dive.
“No you can’t do that.” You say shaking your head. “Find another way.”’
“It’s not your choice.” He’s being too nonchalant again, the finality in his tone put there to piss you off and you both know it. It becomes bigger when he starts to light up a cigarette which he never does inside the house. You snatch it before he can even inhale. You hear your brother gasp loudly behind you.
He watches as you put the cigarette out on the ashtray and due to the look on his face you know you have him just as fucked up as he does you. He stands up coming close to you, you wonder if it’s meant to intimidate you but it doesn’t matter because you really don’t give a shit.
“Give us a minute.” He tells Jamal and Cesar. “Don’t you put your hands on my sister-“ Cesar’s already pulling him away looking embarrassed to have both Spooky as a brother and Jamal as a friend
Once the door clicks it’s like the both of you are having a staring contest.”You’re going to let them mess up your pretty face for a stupid fight?” Irritation rolls of each word.
“If I were you I would be more grateful. This stupid fight might save your life.” He rasps.
“And put yours in harm's way. Why can’t you understand why I wouldn’t want that?” His eyes soften a bit. “And it’s obvious you didn’t tell me because you knew that.”
“Well, I’m doing it. That’s already settled. What I need to know before I come back here tonight all bruised up is if you want me.” He pauses when you look at him in genuine confusion. “I don’t want to come back all banged up and you feel bad so you take pity-“ You squint at him confused.
“Obviously, I do. What the fuck are you even talking about?” He’s shaking his head before you can finish talking.
“How is that obvious?” You furrow your eyebrows together looking over at the table he just had you on. “Dude. Be serious.”
“That doesn’t make anything obvious, Princesa.” Genuinely aggravated is the only way to describe how you feel at the moment. “Words.”
“…Yeah I want you. Which is why I don’t want you to go out there and get yourself killed tonight or possibly paralyzed or lose a finger or something. You know fights are the number one leading cause of amputations… no it’s not I’m making that up- but still, I don’t want you to get badly hurt. Especially because again your face is really pretty so-“ He cuts off your rambling with a kiss.
“Not that many words. You sound like your hermano.” Jamal pops around the corner scaring the both of you. Cesar looked apologetic saying something about how he insisted. “Which is how you should know she’s right.”
“Give me one before I go.” Your heart drops at how quickly this was happening, but still you try for a peck with your brother standing there. He pulls you back in for a longer kiss, uncaring about your audience.
“Enough of that, Oscar.” Your brother says, which is when Oscar finally releases you.
“Please come back in one piece. With minimal damage and no wounds that will leave permanent scars. Do not die. Do not go to jail. Do not get stabbed or-”
“I get it, princesa.” His interruption doesn’t make you any less worried but you know you have to stop.
“Please be safe.” He looks into your eyes seeing the worry all over your face. “I’m coming back to you.” He promises.
*****
More Santos than you’d ever seen in one place were guardian Oscar’s house, but no one was inside except you and Cesar. He’d watch you nearly pace a hole in the floor while he tried to reassure you, but really he was worried too. Spooky had never done anything this reckless before, he knew there was no use in trying to talk him out of it when he saw how pissed he was talking about with the Santos and he knew it was because he possibly had very serious feelings for you.
He hooked up with girls all the time Cesar heard the other Santos talking about who Oscar was hooking up with all the time, but it was different with you. When the other Santos mentioned you Oscar didn’t find shit funny. He wouldn’t even let them speculate that the two had been messing around which considering what Cesar had walked in on with Jamal earlier you were messing around so it meant whatever Oscar was feeling, is very serious.
Cesar was insanely worried about what Oscar might turn into if something happened to you. Most of the Santos loved you and while Cesar knew Spooky could handle himself in a fight, he was so sure when he knew Spooky’s head might be elsewhere.
Panic swarms Cesar when he sees a tear drop from your eyes. “It’s been four hours.” You check your phone for the fiftieth time. “I’m sure he’s gonna walk through the door any minute.” Like he’d been summoned he walked through the door seemingly with enough strength to catch you after you jumped into his arms.
“Easy, easy.” You get off him quickly worried he might be injured and taking a moment to survey him for any serious injuries. “These tears for me, princesa?” His thumb swipes under your eyes once you see that he’s okay you can’t help but roll your eyes, and back away from him all that worrying for nothing.
“No one was even crying.” You say while he daps up his brother. “Why didn’t you text me back if you’re okay?” Spooky sees through the tough act immediately because even though he didn’t text back he definitely saw your texts and the multiple ones his brother sent about you losing your mind worrying about him.
“I just had to tie some shit up before I came back.” The vague nonresponse irritates you further as you fight to regulate your emotions. The relief hits you all at once when you realize everything is going to be okay and you’re blinking back more tears than you can hold.
You mock him silently as you wipe your eyes, getting more aggravated with yourself when the tears kept coming. “You mad at me for real?" Cesar got out of there as soon as Oscar started walking up close to you, he’d seen enough for one day.
You shake your head no and pull him close for a hug. “Sorry I’m all over the place.” Spooky’s heart warms at the idea that you were this worried for him that you can’t control your emotions, especially with him seeming to be the one to be showing all his cards.
“Thank you.” He’s met with your glossy eyes and soft voice. “Thank you for handling all that, you didn’t have to and I really appreciate it.” The kiss he places on your lips can’t express all the things he’s feeling st your words of appreciation but he’s better with that than saying it sometimes.
******
“I have to leave.” You say packing your last items into your bag. “I need to get back to my life.” Spooky feels like a little kid getting his favorite toy taken from him. “Also I don’t think it's healthy for us to start out a relationship with me living with you, we have to try to do things in some sort of order.”
“Maybe the usual order isn’t what we’re supposed to do.” He intercedes. You roll your eyes lifting up the handle on your suitcase. “I wanna be taken on dates first, not move right in and cosplay husband and wife of five years.” You rebuttal.
Spooky sighs. “Is this our first fight?” You squint your eyes at him. ‘Did you forget all the other ones..?”
“I mean as a couple.” He’s reaching for you, but you tsk blocking him. “To be a couple you have to ask me out, which you will do on our first date.” You hear him smack his lips but you could care less. Your friend honks her horn again waiting for you to exit the house. “Okay I have to go.” You kiss him three times but he’s not satisfied. He never is unless it’s slow and deep and leaves you a wreck but you don't have time for that.
“Hurry up and plan our date so I can have guilt free sex with you.” He laughs at that even though it goes right back into a pout when you walk out the door, even though he wouldn’t admit it.
maybe “this was probably a mistake” with spooky from on my blockomb please??
title; was it? (Oscar ‘Spooky’ Diaz x fem!reader)
prompts; “this was probably a mistake” — from morning after starters
warnings; fwb that’s ending?, they both lowk have feelings, morning after, but that’s it? (502 words)
one year masterlist | main masterlist
— thank you for celebrating my one year!!! | submissions are now closed
his back was against the wall while he smoked, exhaling the smoke upwards while he watched you move around his room, grabbing your clothes.
the air between you was tense, holding a glimpse of the passion you shared last night.
Oscar continued to watch you, smirking to himself as you pulled on your jeans, hiding away any evidence of your connection together.
as you were pulling on your shirt, there was a knock at his door, Cesar’s voice sounding from the other side of it.
“hey man, need you out here”
Oscar sighed, stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray on the bedside table.
instead of answering Cesar, he directed his attention back to you, a knowing look in his eyes as you spoke.
“this was probably a mistake”
his eyebrows raised, a mix of surprise and disbelief as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, his boxers hanging low on his hips.
“that what you think?”
you nodded, refusing to meet his eyes, even as everything told you to look at him again.
he took another drag from his cigarette, exhaling the smoke with a sigh, shaking his head.
“you always say that”
Oscar added, his voice almost a mutter under his breath.
“because it’s always true”
he laughed, shaking his head again, in disbelief this time.
his eyes are on the ceiling like it might have answers, like the cracks might spell out some kind of solution for whatever the hell this is between you.
“then why do you keep coming back?”
that made you sigh.
you turned to him, a frown firmly etched onto your face as you eyed him.
“why do you keep letting me?”
he laughed, bitter and low,
“you think i got control over that shit? you show up, and i forget how to say no?”
it was supposed to be casual, the whole no strings and don’t catch feelings thing. it had been that way for months.
nights filled with warmth and fire, while mornings were filled with awkward coffee and small goodbyes.
but lately, he’d started lingering. making breakfast. asking how your day was.
little cracks in the walls you both promised to keep up.
“this isn’t what we agreed on”
he nodded.
“no, it’s not”
the room fell silent after he spoke, stretching long and heavy with the weight of whaf you both wouldn’t say.
his hands reached for your hips, pulling you to stand between his legs, while you sighed.
“i can’t keep doing this Oscar”
he didn’t say anything, instead pulling you closer to him, soothing his hands across your sides.
his eyes stay firm on your face, a softness in them. too soft, too real.
“then don’t...”
Oscar whispers, the rest of his words dying on his tongue.
you wait for him to continue, to say something else, anything else.
but that’s all he gives you, and it hurts.
because for the first time, you’re not sure if he’s letting you go or asking you to stay.
𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 — summary; being fwb before he goes to jail, and it continues on after he gets out, but you have a heart to heart talk after visiting him (Oscar ‘Spooky’ Diaz x fem!reader)
𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 — warnings; aftermath of sex, talk of being naked, typical ‘what are we?’ scenario kinda, friends with benefits relationship, uh that’s it i think
𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 — word count; 1.2k
𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 — a/n; i’m so in love with this man
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since Oscar got out of jail, you’d been at his place a lot more. your arrangement taking a more serious turn than you had expected, but you weren’t entirely complaining.
now, you were both laying in his bed. his arm around your waist to hold you tight against his side while your head lay on his shoulder, hand trailing across his chest absentmindedly.
the remnants of your encounter still lingered in the air, bodies still sweat-slicked and warm. but the unresolved tension between you both lingered too, the unspoken words and the what ifs plaguing both of your thoughts.
the steady beat of his heart was like a fleeting moment of peace, away from the troubles of everything— but Oscar couldn’t help but wonder how long it would last.
the scent of your perfume lingered, filling his senses as he rested his chin on the top of your head. a soft sigh leaving him as your fingers traced across the crucifix around his neck, the gold pendant glimmering in the light.
he couldn’t remember when you first started to toy with the chain, but he’d never stop you. it was almost ritualistic now, and he found it endearing. maybe it was the way you would look up at him when you did it, eyes soft, gentle and unburdened. a stark contrast to him.
after a beat, your voice broke the silence, low and slightly hesitant.
“you ever think about making things serious?”
you asked, almost absentmindedly as if the question had slipped out without you fully realising it.
Oscar stiffened, his fingers twitching where they rested on your hip. he hadn’t expected you to go there, not now and especially not after everything.
his mind raced, a thousand thoughts spinning all at once.
serious? with you? with anyone?
he was no stranger to complicated relationships, hell he was the king of complicated. but something about you, the way you smiled at him like you understood the things he didn’t say, the way you made him feel lighter even on his darkest days — it made the idea of ‘serious’ seem less like a burden and more like a choice.
but all of that didn’t mean he was ready to talk about it, not yet.
his thumb brushed over your shoulder, a soft and casual movement that didn’t match the weight of the conversation.
he kept his gaze trained on the ceiling, trying to collect himself.
“serious, huh?”
he muttered, his voice gruff though there was no anger in it, just uncertainty.
he never got angry with you, never let himself. you didn’t deserve to see him like that, even if this was only sex with a little extras.
you nodded slowly, still playing with his crucifix. tilting the pendant and letting it catch in the light, before letting it lay against his chest again.
“i know you’re not really all about that, but i like being around you Oscar. i like this”
you gestured between you both, the intimacy of your closeness and the silence that settled between you when words couldn’t express what you both meant.
he let out a breath, trying to sound indifferent but it was hard to mask the edge of vulnerability in his voice.
especially with the fact you called him Oscar, instead of Spooky. it was only you and his brother that called him Oscar, meaning he’d let you in more than he’d already thought.
“you don’t have to worry about that, we’re good. just.. keep it chil, yeah?”
your hand lay just below his chain, sighing and laying your head on his chest again.
“i don’t know if i can keep it chill, Oscar. not when i feel like this”
absentmindedly, your fingers twisted the crucifix again. he let out another breath, pulling his gaze from the ceiling as you spoke again. voice softer this time.
“i want more, not just.. what we’ve got”
Oscar swallowed, his chest tightening. the room felt smaller now, the air heavier.
he should’ve been glad you were finally saying what he didn’t know how to ask for, but the fear of getting too close was a long standing habit.
relationships were messy. and he didn’t have the kind of patience that came with putting in the work.
but if he’d be damned, there was something in your tone that made him question everything he thought he knew.
“more?”
he asked, voice hoarse as he balanced on the line of uncertainty on navigating the conversation.
“what does that even mean to you? like.. what are you asking for exactly?”
you smiled, a soft and patient smile that made something inside him ache.
he watched as you sat up, still as curled into his side as you’d allow. hand splayed across his chest, and just shy of covering his heart.
“i don’t know,”
you admitted, sounding a little embarrassed before you continued.
“i don’t need all of your attention all the time, or.. or a ring or anything, but maybe just the possibility of something real. something that isn’t just us messing around in the dark”
Oscar felt the knot in his chest tighten. real. he hated that word because it always felt like some sort of an invitation for disappointment, but damn it, he also knew that somewhere deep down a part of him was hungry for exactly that kind of honesty.
starving for it even.
he lifted his hand and pulled yours from his chest, holding it in his own while his thumb soothed across your knuckles.
“you want serious, huh?”
he repeated, his voice a little quieter now, as if he was weighing the words before they left his mouth.
“i ain’t perfect. i got a lot of baggage, and im not sure if i know how to be that guy.. you want me to be”
the last part came out quieter than the rest of it, embarrassed to have admitted the truth of what he felt deep down.
you looked up at him, eyes soft but searching. lacing your fingers and running your thumb across his knuckles how he had just done with yours.
“i don’t need you to be perfect, Osc. i just need you to be here”
there it was.
that nickname you insisted on calling him. the one thing that had him crumbling quicker than your presence did, having to look away from you to keep the pink hue from painting his cheeks.
his heart thudded in his chest and for the first time, he let the vulnerability show on his face.
you were so damn sure of yourself and it made him question every he’d been telling himself about staying detached.
he let out a long breath then turned his head to meet your gaze once more. his thumb brushed across your knuckles again, his grip tightening ever so slightly.
“i don’t know what this is, ow what it’ll turn into. but i guess im willing to find out”
your smile deepened, and you leaned up to kiss him lightly on the cheek, as if to seal the unspoken promise between you both — before you caught his lips in an even softer kiss.
for the first time in a long time, Oscar felt a glimmer of hope, a fleeting sense that maybe just maybe, real wasn’t so scary after all.
a/n: me personally, i love my weed. and i know damn well oscar would cook up the most delicious shit for y’all to eat high as shit!!
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One thing you learnt about Oscar throughout the months of dating him, was that he was the best person to smoke with one on one. Simply because if driving boyfriends had a passenger princess, then you were Oscar’s smoker princess. That man would not even think twice to deal, roll, light, ash— anything, just for you.
On those nights where youse had nothing to do and Cesar was out the house, you’d always smoke together. With Oscar being there, you always felt safe. Smoking yourself into paranoia and greening out was out of the question when you have a strong and tall Santo cooking you heavenly food.
A comfortable silence would always accompany youse in the kitchen whilst Oscar whipped up munchies. You’d be sitting on top of the kitchen counter, puffing on a joint that he rolled.
Music would always be playing throughout the house whenever youse would smoke in the kitchen; and it’d always be lowrider oldies. Songs like I Love The Way You Love Me by Brenton Wood would be playing, leaving Oscar swaying in the kitchen whilst he cooked under the warm light that dimly illuminated youse from above. “Cause I like the way you love me, oh, girl.” He’d mumble the lyrics, his high following the melody of a soul longing for his lover.
Little words would be exchanged as he cooked, both of youse basking in the atmosphere that enhanced your guys’ highs by miles. Silent gestures of passing the joint to each other would be done with a low eyed smile. Oscar would chuckle, setting aside the food that fried as he took in your appearance.
You sat on the kitchen counter with a joint in hand, wearing his shirt that was at least two sizes too big for you. You'd practically stolen it, leaving him shirtless in his own glory-perhaps as a favor to your eyes, he mused, noticing your half-lidded, slightly red-tinged gaze drifting to his body every now and then. And as if the shirt wasn't enough, you'd also swiped a pair of his boxers, the fabric hugging the curve of your ass like second nature. But Oscar couldn’t blame you. You went from sparking up with him, to taking his hard length from the back on all fours. In fact, the carne asada tortillas was an apology for leaving you limping.
“I love, you’re my love.” He cooed the lyrics, stepping in between your legs as you sat on the counter, his hands resting on either side of your thighs. His fingers curled gently against the cool surface as he leaned in closer, your narrowed eyes meeting, “You are mine, are mine.” you sung back with a sluggish smile, leaning into him and planting a kiss onto his lips before placing the joint in between them.
Nights like these became one of the reasons you two got out of bed.
pov: mothering a child who isn’t yours isn’t easy, especially if it’s the leader of the santos’ younger brother; you’d know, you’ve been doing it since the end of your high school years. but for oscar — god, for that man, you’d do anything.
PART 2 (LINK)
a/n: holy crap i was gonna make this a oneshot but i got carried away, so part 2 will be posted soon 😭🙏 this is basically context for part 2 skajjadhsjsh. anyway i hope yall are liking these idk, i got sad when i noticed that nobody was really writing omb anymore cause i rewatched it recently lmaoooo. req some stuff if you guys want, i don’t mind!!
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To the world, he was Spooky. But to you, when those doors were closed and the night was young, he was Oscar. Your Oscar. The Oscar that you met in High School before he dropped out to aid not only the Santo legacy, but his younger brother, Cesar. And you knew how much he loved Cesar. If anything would’ve happened to him, Oscar would’ve burnt the world down with the fire of his own wrath. You knew this by the countless nights you two spent together whilst youse were still young. There wasn’t a hangout where he’d not mention Cesar once or twice, who at the time, was only a child. He’d tell you of the struggles that came with raising his younger brother with absent parents and having to lead the Santos at the same time, and how he feared that Cesar would recognise how broken his home truly was at such a young age. All you could do was plant sweet kisses along his neck and whispers of assurance that he was doing his best, in hopes of easing him of the burdens he was forced to carry.
So when he got caught up, restrained by those metal cuffs that took him away from the life he had tried so hard to keep together, he trusted you to look out for Cesar.
But you were just as lost as the child he left you with. You had just graduated high school one to two years ago, hardly making it by with the struggles of working as many shifts as you could at the local joint— and now you have a little boy to take care of. The weight of being freshly new to adulthood was dragging you down. You were anxious and frustrated that Oscar threw away everything and made you handle the aftermath. But putting your own feelings aside, you knew that Cesar felt exactly the same, maybe even worse.
He was fine during the day. The Santos would come by to ensure you and Cesar were well equipped, following Oscar’s strict orders to check up on you two now and then. You noticed that Cesar would search for Oscar in the crowds of the Santo men who sat on their porch and in their front yard, getting a bit agitated when he couldn’t spot him. It was only thanks to Sad Eyes who would often keep Cesar distracted from Oscar’s absence, occasionally bringing him a treat from the dairy around the corner or chatting to him about school, earning a silent but appreciative nod from you to which he’d smile in return.
But Cesar at night was a different story. It’d drive you silently insane when he’d cry for Oscar before his bed time, knowing that he missed his older brother as much as you did. His cries would echo across the hall, waking you from your sleep in Oscar’s room. Peeking your head into Cesar’s room, he’d be sobbing for the man who raised him. It broke your heart knowing that Oscar’s sentence was far from finished, which meant there were only so many more nights that young Cesar would spend crying for his older brother. Nights like those would end with you sleeping in Cesar’s room, holding him in your arms and cooing him to sleep with promises that Oscar would come home to youse one day until fatigue took you both to sleep.
You were blessed to say that it got easier as the years went by. You had a stable position at your job, and Cesar was already a teenager who followed the values you taught him. At this point, you were the boy’s mother, taking care of him not just because of the love you have for Oscar, but because of the love you have for him as well. For once, life felt lighter.
Cesar sat at the kitchen table, his gaze snapping to you as you pulled him out of his thoughts. “What’s wrong, mijo?” You asked, placing a plate of breakfast down for him with a curious look on your face. “Ah, nothing, I just—“ He mumbled, staring at his plate, “Oscars getting out soon.” he thought aloud.
With a raised brow, you sat down next to him, “Mhm, I thought you’d be excited that your brother is coming home. I remember how you wouldn’t stop crying for him when you were little.” you laughed, concern lurking in your eyes as you noticed how he clenched his jaw, he was tense at the thought.
“Hey,” you mumbled, putting your hand over his as he hesitantly turned to you, “I know you haven’t seen Oscar in such a long time. But everything will be fine. I promise.” you offered a reassuring smile, trying to read his expression for any chance of understanding. A short silence followed before he nodded, returning a half-smile and giving your hand a soft squeeze as a silent thanks. “You’re right, sorry. Reality’s just setting in, I guess.” He nervously chuckled, finally picking up his fork and eating his food.
Your soft smile never faltered, “It’s fine, eat your food and don’t be late to school. Tell Ruby and Jamal I said hi.” you reminded him, getting up from the table and walking to Oscar’s room— which at this point, was yours until he came home.
Sitting on the bed, you sighed, biting your lip in thought. You knew Cesar didn’t know what to expect with Oscar coming home, he never really did well with change. His overthinking remaining testament to it all. But although you were reassuring him, not even you knew what to expect. ‘Surely everything would be okay. Right? Cesar will be fine, safer even.’ You thought.
